My heart goes out to you. I have been there.
First, three year olds are difficult little things, aren't they? They can speak well and do a few things on their own, but they lack judgement and skills. Everyone I know with children older than three all agree that 3 is a tough age. They also PROMISE me that it gets better. Just know that this is a phase in life and, like any other phase, it WILL pass.
Second, Suzanne Sartore is GREAT. Her office is in Hoffman Estates. I don't know where you are, but I hope H.E. is within driving distance. Her number is ###-###-####. She gives excellent and PRACTICAL advice. She takes many different insurance plans.
Last, if you need a laugh, go to www.pacifiersandprada.blogspot.com. It's all about the stresses and strains of being a working parent. If it's a choice between laughing or crying, may as well laugh, eh?
Good luck to you. You're doing the right thing to ask for help.