My daughter has always been very quiet and not easily excited. I'm still trying to figure out what she truly enjoys doing. She does seem to like reading books on her own. She is almost 18 months old and is very verbal with a vocabulary of about 80 words. I try to dance and play, but she just doesn't seem interested. Would you be concerned? Any suggestions on how to get her to open up?
Sounds like my son. He was always (as a toddler) shy and reserved. More of an observer. I can probably remember about 5 times when he was "visibly" excited--jumping up and down, etc.
It's just her personality. She'll be fine. :)
Sounds like my daughter at this age. Played well by herself but really didn't want anything to do with me. She's now 3 and insane :) I mean that in the most affectionate way. I'll play music and she'll dance for hours with or without me. Always wants me to play with her, hold her hand, huge hugs every 5 minutes she's a totally different kid. Give her some time she's still very young.
I highly recommend getting the book, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." I'm reading it right now and it's fabulous. I think it would really help you understand your daughter.
LOL, sounds like my eldest, she was a VERY serious baby/toddler. She never wanted to be held or cuddled, looked at me like I was stupid if I was dancing around, singing... she was just 'serious'. Like she was too busy figuring things out to be bothered with playing with me. She's still wicked clever, only now she's 8 and her personality definitely blossomed! She's diligent about her school work and has a crazy funny sense of humor...
...so no, I don't think you have anything to worry about ;)
She'll come around in her own time!
She sounds fine to me.
Kids don't play cooperatively till they are 3 or 4 years old.
Try sitting on the floor with her and rolling a ball to her and getting her to roll it back to you.
Make a pillow fort and read a story to her in it.
Some kids have a 'wait and see' approach - they want to take it all in and figure out the rules before they are willing to jump in to any situation - it's a leaning style and it's perfectly normal.
From your other post:
"Is eye contact in toddlers important? My daughter will may eye contact from a distance, but when I am holding her she won't look at me. She is always looking off to the side. I especially notice it when she gives me a kiss. Does this mean she feels insecure about our relationship? I may be looking into this much more than I need to, but it's always concerned me that she looks away so often.
ETA: She does listen to directions, has about 80 words in her vocabulary and speaks in two-three word sentences. So I do see what some of you mean by there possibly being a developmental delay, but I assume this is normal for an 18 month old?"
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With these two posts together you get a better, more detailed picture of your daughter. On average, children that are 18 months old have around 20 words and up. It depends on the individual child, of course. All of my daughters spoke early, but my eldest spoke VERY early and was stringing three word sentences together before she was a year old.
Based on what you've shared it seems to me that your daughter is very focused on language and books and that's a great thing. It's frankly more important than physical achievements right now. If her fine motor skills are good, then I wouldn't worry about her not wanting to dance around. I wouldn't worry about her being quiet and not easily excitable. She sounds like a dream child. What I would do is just take her lead and cater to her interests. Guide her to walk and take her to the park and encourage puzzles, and make them fun for her in a way that will engage her on her terms. With words.
The fact that she can follow directions is a great thing. She shows understanding of what's being said to her in addition to a great vocabulary.
As to her not making eye contact with you... well, you said in this post that she's reserved. But she's talking. Not throwing tantrums? Social when she needs to be? An otherwise typical child? Makes eye contact with people who are not Mommy and trying to FORCE her to make eye contact?
If what you're looking for would be signs of Autism, chances are from what you've shown are small. She sounds normal to me unless there are other concerns you're not sharing that show up in the DSM-5.
Try doing some research on Introverted kids.
I just took someone else's advice out here to read Raising your Spirited Child...and in the book it talks about extroverts and introverts. Your daughter sounds like an introvert (I am, too).
Maybe if you can understand better how her personality works, you can get a better feel for how to connect with her.
And no, I agree, I don't think there's anything wrong with her.
I believe that a person's personality is developed very early on. Why don't you just observe her and see what she gravitates toward and do more of that. Try going to classes (mommy and me type) at your local recreation center to see what she might like...they have dance, music even for her age group.
Continue to take her out so she gets used to socializing more. She is still very young. My cousins DD really blossomed by the time she started kindergarten, before that she wouldn't do anything with other kids. Now she has the opposite problem (gets in trouble for talking with her friends!)
Sounds just like my daughter...she's still somewhat reserved. At 8, the only complaint I get at her parent teacher conferences is that they would like her to talk more :p. She often prefers hanging out with one friend versus a group...and a lot of times, she would rather be at home reading than being out with friends. One thing that I think is very important - is that she have a strong relationship with you. If she feels secure with herself - I think she will be fine and more likely to try new things. If she feels like she is not meeting your expectations or something...it will either make her more shy and less likely to try new things...or create some other issues (not saying you're making her feel like this at all...just rambling off my thoughts :)). Over the years, my daughter has come out of her shell more in certain ways - just not so much socially. She will wake up with me at 5:30 on a Saturday to come volunteer somewhere...She'll try all sorts of new things...but she got a certificate for something the other day and had to go up in front of a bunch of people to get it...that brought out her more 'reserved' side! It helps that my husband was/is very reserved...it helped me accept her and not want to 'change' her...and she is AWESOME :)
My son was a reserved infant and then a reserved toddler. He is now a reserved kindergartner. He's also a thoughtful, observant, highly gifted, all-round wonderful kid. I don't want to give too much "advice" because I really don't think you have a problem at all. But in terms of increasing your daughter's comfort level, rather than any kind of noisy song & dance, try to connect with her on a quiet level. Try whispering games, peek-a-boo, hide-and-seek with toys, but using a quiet voice. Or, try music games (my son used to love tapping out a rhythm) but with the volume turned a little lower.
My son is reserved and slow to warm up. When I took him to a Mom and me class he was quiet and reserved but always wanted to return next week. When I take him to things like the circus or Disney on Ice he sits quietly and looks serious. I ask him "Do you like it?" "Are you having fun?" Cuz I can't tell!! Other kids are dancing and laughing and calling out and clapping... but he says yes he likes it. and afterwards he talks about it and I realize he did really like it just shows it differently (or doesn't really show it) so it's hard to tell what they like, but don't assume from her reaction she didnt really enjoy it. If she's verbal she will let you know if she doesnt like something.
