Annoyed - Venting

Updated on May 20, 2011
M.H. asks from Madison, WI
10 answers

So this is a vent & thanks in advance for reading....

An acquitance/friend type guy and I were talking and he offered to meet with me to discuss an issue we were talking about. I told him to let me look more into the issue and I would get back with him.

A few days later I emailed him to let him know that I would like to set up a time to meet with him about the issue. In the email, I gave him a time I was available to meet and asked if that would work for him. That day/time came and passed and I never heard from him. So the next Monday I called his office and his secretary (who announces the callers to him) said that he was busy and asked me if I wanted to leave message. I know her pretty well, so I just said I'll just try to catch up with him some time that week instead of leaving a message. I decided he was probably too busy and decided to just forget trying to meet him at all. This was important but not crucial, so no big deal, I'll just move on.

So 3 days later he sees me and comes to me and says 'Oh I owed you a phone call back.' referring to my call on Monday. I said 'well I called but I didn't leave a message so that's okay. I realize you're very busy.' He said 'Well is everything okay?' I said 'yes, everything's good.' He looked like his feelings were hurt because I didn't expand about why I was calling. So I said 'Well actually I was calling about the issue we were going to meet about.' He said 'I thought that might be it.' And then he said he'd loved to meet with me. And he'd have to be in front of his calendar to schedule a meeting. I hadn't seen him for a few days so I emailed him and asked him to call me so we can set up a time to meet. My contact phone # was in the email. That was 3 days ago. I decided to ask him to call me since it's obvious he doesn't respond to emails. And I didn't want to call him and bother him since last time he said was busy and said to leave a message.
And again, no response to my email and he hasn't called me.
I'm guessing he didn't really want to meet anyway, but why bring it up initially and then come to me and mention it again?!
And how difficult is it to respond to someone.

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So What Happened?

No, i'm not selling to him or anything like that. He was going to meet w/me to give me more info on the issue.... He offered to help.
This guy isn't a love interest or anything like that. He's just an acquintance, and he's much older than me. His daughter and I are friends. His daughter has mentioned how she's emailed him in the past and the email would require a response and he doesn't even respond to her emails or followup with her. So for some reason, it seems like he has a real difficult time responding.

Featured Answers

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on ME!!! You need to just forget about this fellow...I have no idea if you are just friends...or if you are wanting something more...but I don't think you need to bother. He doesn't seem like much of a friend...and he certainly isn't someone that I would want to spend time with on any other level!!!
The next time he calls...I would let the answering machine pick up...and then I would promptly forget about it!!!

2 moms found this helpful

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This question can't really be answered. My answer, for example, if you were trying to sell him something would be very different than if you would be discussing a vacation rental or the possibility of dating.
This site is anonymous, so I don't see why you just don't provide some details.

With the lack of further details, I'd say he's just not "that into" whatever you were going to discuss.

7 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Pencil him out.
Friend or not, whatever issue you were to discuss wasn't that important to him.
No more texts, no more e-mails, no more phone calls. If he does get around to contacting you....frankly, I'd be too busy to answer.
Seriously.
Guys can be insensitive jerks. This guy sounds like he is one. Don't waste your time trying to figure any of it out.
Write him off.

Sorry, that's just my blunt opinion.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

my advice is to just walk away-its obvious hes just playing games with you-why feed into it??..hes being just openly rude an disrespectful...you didnt state the issue if it was buisness or personal-but actually it doesnt matter at this point-sounds like his ego is to big to carry around.if you see him in public again give a polite hello-only if he says it first-then keep moving on dont allow this jerk to play games an rent space in your head.life is to short-im sure theres more important things you could be dealing with.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

he obviously no longer wants to expand on the discussion. Table it.

However, his behavior IN MY OPINION is rude but not returning phone calls and putting you off.

I'd have a talk with him regarding my expecting in a relationship - friends deserve respect too.

good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Let it go and move on. Next time he says anything to you just smile and say "its all good". I wouldn't explain anything else.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

Some people are yes people and will offer to do this and that in person and then once they leave, you never hear from them again.. I guess this guy is one of them.. I had a co-worker for whom when I left work would say, oh we should meet up after work.. I said ok and emailed her SEVERAL times to do so... and wouldn't hear back.. then I run into her on the street and she says again, we should get together , I say ok sounds good.. she says to me.. well you know where to reach me, I am always there.... never left.... to that , I think.. what.. I emailed SEVERAL times and you never responded ... in other words, the woman lives in her own reality.. which I don't think is reality.. it's just a comfy cozy place she likes to hang out.. :)

I would let this one go..

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Who is this guy? Your boyfriend or love interest? What is this secretive issue you wanted to discuss with him? So mysterious!

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Sometimes it's easier to receive a call than initiate one.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

He may not be getting the emails.

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