An Artist's Potential / a Parent's Perceptions

Updated on January 15, 2015
P.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
19 answers

Extended family, very strong blue-collar background, has a kid who is gifted artistically (drawing). The child is young, pre-teen. Told at a family gathering that her artistic skills aren't going to be encouraged because they "don't want her growing up to be one of those weird artsy people". Sigh.

I'm wondering, though, if this might be more of a fear of "what can you do with art skills?" as much as "we're a family full of jocks (they are) and have no idea how to deal if our kid's outside the box". The child is ALSO sporty, but is artistic in addition.

Any mamas out there who have experience, themselves, or with their kids, who have taken artistic talent and turned it into something a parent doesn't have to be nervous about? If it comes up when I visit, I want to offer another perspective.

Thanks.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

That's pretty sad. My cousin is an artist. Has lots of wealthy clients and makes tons of money. I know this isn't the norm but it depends on the rest of her gifts.

Art is combined in the computer world all the time! Illustrators are needed for children's books etc.

Even if she didn't make a living with it, it could be a wonderful hobby!
My sister was an awesome artist and never developed an interest to use it in any way. It's a shame...

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M.G.

answers from Tucson on

Don't forget computer art - my brother is an artist and creates skies for a video game company. He is very successful.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

It will be very sad if they discourage her. Because one day she'll use her creativity and be very resentful that they squashed it.

There are countless thousands of successful artists. Both ones who financially sustain themselves with their artistic jobs (graphic design is often VERY WELL PAID) or those who pay the bills with non-art jobs, but mange to do their art also. Like me. My parents weren't into art at all and I did it in my spare time always while working other jobs. I resented all the years I had no psychological support for it and doubted myself and didn't dive into it fully. They just didn't "get it" that it could be a real lifestyle. But I got over my grudge and built a totally separate world of peers. In the past ten years I've been able to have gallery shows and get commissions as a fine art painter but that is very difficult to make a living with of course. It took years to work my way into a studio and to afford to even pursue it. It's not impossible though. The friends I have who succeeded younger and more easily had supportive families.

What horrible parents to discourage creativity or "being weird". Entire towns are sustained because people love to visit cultured places with artist communities. Same with any major city. it's the culture and arts (and jobs therein) that drives the tourism. Really. People should know better in 2015. I feel bad for her, but mostly for her parents who she will grow to distance herself from for not appreciating her.

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

My brother was entering and winning art shows by the time he was 8. He is now, and has been for the last 20 years, a very successful tattoo artist. He owns a thriving shop and lives in France. His original goal was to be a cartoonist, but he sort of fell into the tattoo world. AS others have said, designing and decorating are good career choices, also marketing and advertising are other options. IMO there is much more she can do with a talent for art than in any sport. In a sport you have to be the best of the best of the best and even then an injury can end your career in an instant. And like it or not we all age. Even the best athletes can't play forever.

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R.A.

answers from Boston on

I'd take an active interest in this kid. Quick. There is nothing more damaging to a young person then hearing that their talent and passion isn't worthy.

I myself am an artist, so is my son. He is amazingly talented. I am actually saving in a college account for him so he can go to an art institute after high school.

Art opens so many doors to people. It has rich history, culture, and leads to a wonderful creative avenue.

It is also very useful in therapy, technology, education, and many other professions and fields.

Someone needs to stand up for this kid.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I don't think a kid with artistic talent has any more or less chance of success with that particular skill than a kid who is quite a sport but who might not get picked up for a scholarship, or beyond that, a professional sports career.

It's too bad the parents don't understand how to be supportive. I'm not sure you can change their opinion without them being pretty defensive. What are their real, underlying concerns? That their child will go out, realize that making a living as an artist is no easy road, and that they will move back in? (I have friends who are artists who have public art commissions now that they are in their 40s and 50s but had to work VERY hard to get there) It also may be some strong old, long-held family beliefs involved. Artists aren't really portrayed as much other than being 'different' or 'bohemian'..... it's hard for them to picture artists who have professional jobs, who have pragmatic business plans.

Artistic talent and creative thinking are also used in business and administration... I think that would be what I would encourage-- that those skills can be used laterally in different professions. There was a great interview with an artist (who is currently working at a museum) recently who stated that many of the non-artistic jobs out there required a great deal of creativity and insight, innovation. So, that would be framing the talent as a potential future asset as their young adult moves forward in the world. That might be a good starting point. Art is a wonderful hobby, and most of us know that most adult writers, poets (!) and artists, until they are well, well established, have regular day jobs they go to. Perhaps they are afraid their child will have stars in their eyes about being an artist....

Who knows? Just be supportive when it is appropriate, continue to encourage this young person's talent, and let your enthusiasm and example serve as the best model for their parents.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My mother was an artist! She graduated from college in 1959 with a degree in Commercial Art minor in teaching. She taught art classes in schools and prisons. In addition she also had private students. She has been in multiple art shows in the United States as well.

She also did some illustrations for instruction manuals and books.

She was truly a gifted and talented artist. To her dismay, I can't draw a circle! =)

When someone in the family is different, the family doesn't know or understand them. Keep encouraging this individual to go for their dream. There are so many avenues in the art world.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

My older sister is a very successful interior designer. She lives in Brooklyn (where she just sold her $700K condo and is renting a house while the remodel of her new home is being completed). She owns her own design firm, which is based in Manhattan. She travels all over the US and has done some work in Europe for her clients. Her work was the cover story of an issue of Architectural Digest this past summer, and her work is frequently featured by magazines and websites. In addition to her design degree, she later completed an MBA with a focus on small business so that she would better understand the business side of running her company and not make the mistakes she saw other designers/owners make.

One of my former classmates who, like me, took a ton of art classes in high school is an administrator at an small art school (college) in Boston. Another one of my art-room friends runs a successful bakery...she translated her artistic talent into food. My son's friend's dad is a curator at a small museum and still produces his own works in his spare time. One of my tutoring students majored in Art Therapy and channeled her talent into a career where she makes a good living traveling to residential facilities (long term and short term) and working with patients of all ages. Of course, there are tons of opportunities in digital media - advertising layout and design, web design, designing logos, etc. Many bigger companies like mine (I work for a benefits administrator, in the finance industry) have an in-house design department where they produce their client and customer communication materials instead of hiring an advertising or PR firm to do that kind of work. Every TV station and newspaper that I interned at in college had an art department as well.

Hope that helps!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

There's nothing weird about being an artist. It's just that it's a hard way to make a living, much like being a writer or actor or anything else in the creative field, it's quite competitive.
Examples, yes I have a friend who makes a living as a jewelry designer and producer. Her husband works too, but she makes close to as much as he does, and they support themselves and three kids.
(please look at her etsy shop! it's under owner "Corina Crooks")
My son's girlfriend just graduated college with a film degree and is determined to make documentary films (talk about competitive!) She's waiting tables at night but she has an unpaid internship during the day at a highly respected production company. I have no doubt that she will make her dream come true because she is both extremely talented AND hard working. Finally I have a friend of a friend with a theater arts degree who runs a successful community theater group, AND produces and sells large pieces of decorative metalwork that she sells all over the bay area.
I know other people who make a side living writing, performing and creating. Sometimes your passion doesn't pay ALL the bills, but that doesn't mean it's totally useless.
I think it's actually much more likely to make a living in a creative field than as a professional athlete, and yet many "jock" parents have problem getting behind THOSE kids who dream of "going pro." I hate to stereotype but it's not the brightest train of thought is it?

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

If kids should only engage in activities or classes based on their ultimate income potential, then every child should be steered away from all activities that have no professional potential. No toy trains unless they are getting a masters in electrical engineering to work for Amtrak, no Legos unless they are going to become a civil engineer, no music lessons unless they are a prodigy and bound for Julliard, no sports unless the major league teams are scouting them at age 6, etc. Let's stop teaching foreign languages because someone is yelling about "English only" and let's stop teaching math lest the kid become one of those "MIT geeks" and….. Well, you see the problem.

Then let's close all the museums because there are no painters and no curators, and let's stop going to the movies because there are no art directors. Have then watch the credits of any movie but especially something like Interstellar or even the old Star Wars & Star Trek series - look at the unbelievable percentage of people in the various art fields. Those are people in demand because their parents let them "do" art.

Art does more than prepare someone for a career. It works the brain in wonderful ways that pay off down the line in so many unrelated areas. And an active brain through a variety of "exercises" is one that's less likely to go down the road of dementia - yes, there are other factors, but using the unused parts of the brain in new ways helps to ward off the severity or the early onset of many a mental decline.

I think your relatives are showing the results of a complete lack of education and exposure to the arts in general. Just because they don't know anyone doesn't mean no one has a career in those fields. Just because they know one starving artist in an attic apartment doesn't mean that's their child's ultimate destination. Colleges REQUIRE that students take courses outside their intended discipline precisely because our society is enhanced by well rounded individuals who know something about a variety of areas, and who are willing to exercise their brains.

I don't think you can change their minds. Just feel free to send the child in question a book for birthdays or holidays that highlights famous people who fought against family expectations and wound up blossoming, not just professionally, but personally.

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R..

answers from San Antonio on

My son is very artistic (my husband and I both have jobs where we design things and need drawing skills...so he came by it naturally).

We are totally encouraging his art skills, oh my there are so many jobs for artists/designers. I can't even begin to name them all. I even know an artist that was an FBI agent. He was recruited out of art school because they needed artists to do illustrations and design work.

If our son wants to major in fine arts, drawing/painting, etc. We are planning on also telling him to get a double major in business. That way he can run his own gallery, manage his own career, and make money for himself and other artists.

And hey us "weird art people" are awesome and fun.

In this day and age no career is totally 100% profitable...but teachers will always be needed...and that is a great job with pretty good benefits, including retirement. Not tons of money but enough to live on, especially teaching on the college level. Another possible double major.

Good luck!!

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

My younger son enjoys his art classes. Later this month we're attending an art show that is displaying his work and that of other students at his Jr High.

Truthfully, the artists I knew in college have either ended up in something entirely different than what they planned, or they are now the people teaching art to others.

Do you watch 'Bones' on tv? In the show, Angela is an artist in her heart and creates a lot in her free time, but it can't pay the bills so for money she does crime-related reconstructions. Her character has struggled with what she has to do vs what she wishes she could do. It's a pretty accurate portrayal of the struggle many artistic people face.

There is quite a lot of call for graphic designers and other technical-related things, but the idea of being able to sell your original paintings or sculpture only becomes reality for a few.

I think art skills should be nurtured and encouraged, but also injected with a dose of realism about how hard it can be to stick to one narrow version of a dream. Artists need to be flexible and adapt to the business environment that can sustain them.

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was the odd ball artist in my family, and certainly the only artist on my husband's side. We are a family of doctors, nurses, and dentists.

Art as a collage major was discouraged for me and for good reason. Fine art skills like drawing and painting are in fact completely non marketable skills. Yes, this may be their real fear cloaked in a silly joke about "artsy types." I think these kinds of talents should be treated the same as musical talent or athleticism, something that enriches one's life, but not necessarily something you should base your career on.
That said, I channeled my artistic energy into a marketable career- interior design. Notice I said marketable not profitable. There are a few such careers, graphic design, photography, fashion design, architecture, art teacher...As with many things, the right amount of passion and risk taking can make these careers into a decent living. But if they want to be an employee, these jobs often are on the low end of the pay scale.

All that is fine and dandy as long as you are doing what you love though, right? Well, thats what thought until I found myself below the poverty level while employed in my mid twenties.

My father also was a good artist and almost did an art major. Instead he did dentistry. It was a much better living. He was not unhappy about that decision. In fact, I find many dentists are artistic. It seems to attract the more high anxiety vs. layed back artistic type. And requires some artistry believe it or not.

While I chose a major with a marketable skill set, I took as many fine art electives as I could. Then, at a latter time in my life, I had a fine art career. I loved every minute of it! I grossed $15,000 on my best year. Not exactly enough to pay the bills.

I know lots of artsy types. Some fit the stereotype, most don't.
Hope that helps.

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M.P.

answers from Asheville on

I have a friend from high school who has made a career out of painting and drawing sports figures (coaches, players, etc) and related scenes- both college and professional sports. He was a good artist in high school, and also played sports. He just merged the two together and is quite successful selling his artwork. He also does murals, and these are simply amazing.
I also have another friend from high school that turned his talent into becoming a top ranked tattoo artist. His work blows my mind. He tours the country doing tattoo shows/festivals and has even been on the show Inkmaster.
So as you can see, artistic talent can take you in many directions. :)

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E.B.

answers from Austin on

You could substitute many words to describe the family (artistic, sports-minded, gymnasts, computer programmers, farmers, medical professionals, mechanics, educators) and also the child whose interests are either a surprise or a shock or a source of confusion, and the scenario could be the same. It's not just "jocks" and "art". For example, everyone in the family is in the healthcare field and then along comes little Annabelle who hates the sight of blood and who knows from an early age that she is going to grow up to be a tap dancer. Or, everyone loves cooking and food and the family runs a restaurant and then there's Zachary who can't even (and doesn't want to) make toast but who is captain of the varsity swim team and spends every spare hour at the pool, training.

Sometimes it can be a pleasant surprise (Who know we'd have an athlete in our dorky family that stumbles over invisible stuff and can't even throw a crumpled piece of paper into the wastebasket with fewer than 12 tries?). Sometimes it's a shock. (But we've ALWAYS sent our children to the University of _____ and we have season tickets to all their games and our house is decorated in their team colors! And now our son wants to go to _____ College? It's unheard of! What will we tell the Alumni Committee?). And sometimes it's downright scary or confusing. (Isn't doing that dangerous? Can you make any money doing that or get an actual job? You want to study WHAT? What even is that? You want to be a WHO? What do they do? You'll have to study WHERE?).

So maybe you can just say something about how delightful it can be to have a child who knows his or her strengths, or perhaps express your encouragement by acknowledging how it can be a bit scary when your child is so talented but it's something you are unfamiliar with. If they use words like "weird" or "kooky", just say "aren't we all?" And ask the child to send you drawings, or even commission a drawing, by saying you'd love a drawing of your cat or dog to put on your desk. The child, hopefully, will perceive your support and feel encouraged. I wouldn't use the words "fear" or anything like that with the family. They already sense that. Instead, put different words or ideas into their minds that they can think about. Focus on the positive and only go there. And I wouldn't limit it to art. The art isn't the issue, it seems. It's the idea that their kid is going to go into a completely different direction than the one they've always taken, or what they expected. It can be unsettling, and perhaps they're worried that they won't be able to talk with her about her career, or even understand it. The kid knows that, or will. What will matter is that they respect and appreciate her.

My husband is retired career military. I have a degree in education and have done a lot of tutoring in English as a Second Language at various levels (mostly volunteering due to our daughter's medical needs, so it wasn't really a job, but it's where my interest and skills are). And our son? He's an audio engineer and soundboard systems technician (a WHAT?, we said). We still have to look up things that he talks about, just to understand the basics, or to be able to simply talk with him. It's like a foreign language. He didn't have music lessons, and we know nobody in a music or audio career. But he knew without a doubt that he wanted to be a sound technician and found a college and graduated with a near perfect GPA and now works full time in his chosen field. My husband always assumed he'd join the military. I pictured several careers that he'd be good at. The music field and audio engineering never entered my mind. But thankfully we realize that this is who he is, and it's what he loves, and he's good at it. I hope the same thing will happen to your young family member.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have a high school friend who was/still is a fantastic artist.

She did study art and worked many years with a wallpaper company designing wallpaper. She has since moved to a retailer for her day job but she is still hired by locals for all posters, advertising etc with her art. Lovely person.

My daughter was/is quite the sketcher for fashion design and we have several of her paintings framed and on display in our home. She made several pieces of clothing as well on her machine. She's great. When deciding on her career.., 2nd yr of college right now... She's in business, entrepreneurship and marketing. However, she has used her talents nicely in the marketing department and her sorority for designing themes .

When asked why she didn't pursue fashion and art she replies... " I love fashion and art but I feel that knowing business, how to market it and be successful is step one."

I don't know if she'll ever use her artistic talents. I encourage it. She's looking to continue our company which can be boring just selling plastic but she's already connected with marketing directors in our industry and is planning a summer internship with ATT marketing. You never know!!!

I do know she has "the eye" and her condo reflects that well with her design!

Just encourage this person to follow all avenues of the dream!!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My GD is also "artsy" which I have encouraged. There are SOOOO many things she can do. She likes to design clothes - you have to be able to draw to be a fashion designer. I just got her a used sewing machine so she can start trying to actually make her designs! Then there is graphic art - my friends AUTISTIC son does graphic arts for Disney and makes TON of money! Then there's architecture - have to be able to draw to design buildings. There are a ton of jobs for artsy people. I think they just haven't really taken the time to think about all the opportunities there are out there for "artsy" people. Even if they don't encourage it, you should!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

One of our daughters degree was art.
She uses it for her job and blew people away at her work when helping decorate for the company Chritmas Party.

She does graphic design for a computer company on the side.

I know a lot of artsy types that may not be living the life of most people, but they are successful and able to support themselves in the wY that they feel is comfortable.

Being creative and seeing the world differently? That is how progress is achieved.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Pretty sad for the artist.

I think I'd have her do a research paper for school about jobs that an artist can have. Such as teaching art as a teacher, steady paycheck and benefits. A web designer, high pay if the contracts come in and the artist is good. Artist. If they're good they're able to make a living if they produce the work.

She/he needs to be able to show them a career goal that makes sense to them. If she/he says "I want to be a teacher" and they do art for "fun" the family might let it go. Then the student can take all the art classes they want because it's a pastime, not a "career" goal.

Saying something in a way other accept it can take the pressure off. She/he can still make good grades and go to college. They just don't blurt out they are studying art full time and plan on being an art teacher. Even saying they are just studying to teach all ages of school is sufficient for most people.

Teaching is a "career" that will provide them with a stable income. Art is not something they'll accept.

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