Am I the Only One Who Doesn't Want My Kid Involved in Sports?

I married a sports nut even though I myself HATE sports. My older son takes after me and so far the only "sport" he likes is golf. My second son on the other hand discovered soccer at 4 yrs old and it has been ongoing since then.
Now at first I was a bit upset cause I so couldn't see me spending a couple of days a week at practices and then games. But now I couldn't see myself anywhere else. I love watching him play cause his joy of playing is basically infectious. He is so happy on the field that I could never deny him what he enjoys so much.
I swore he started I wouldn't be one of those screaming horrible soccer moms. I do scream but it is with joy when he gets a goal or blocks a goal.
It truly is a wonderful thing. It actually doesnt take up that much time in the long run. He has practice two times a week and generally 2 games a week.

I love sports, art, music and have an exceptionally smart student, and very involved in Girl Scouts. If she came to me and said she doesn't want to participate in sports any longer I would be crushed...however, it's not about me. It's about her. (and in a few years if my son wants to play he will, if not that's ok).

We tried Karate, she didn't like that too much (crushed her dad)...we tried basketball, and it was fun, but she wasn't too into it. Soccer is where her heart is right now. But she loves art and wants to play the piano. I want her to try anything she wants.

Weekends we spend going from Girl Scout events to sport events. We manage well. We don't take on anymore than we can chew. At this point I'm happy if they are happy doing what they want.

We are actively avoiding this as well. We are hoping DS is athletic to the level where he loves to play outside, throw a ball around, can hold his own in a tennis game and is not picked last in school. Absolutely no desire to be a soccer/hockey/t-ball/whatever mom. Not doing it.

If the kid likes it, that's their thing. I would hate to not be allowed to do something because my parents don't like it... Once you become a parent, it's not about YOUR style any more... it's about your kid's. I would let him try something... who knows, you might enjoy watching him excell and/or enjoy himself more than you think! I HATE wrestling (real wrestling, not the TV version...). I think it's the most worthless sport on the planet... but when my little cousin was on a wrestling team, I was in the bleachers cheering my heart out. It was a blast to watch him! (Even if we did leave after his matches. lol)

Ha! My best friend hates all sports.. Her kids are totally athletic! Everything they try they are naturals..

She sucks it up because
1. Her kids LOVE it.
2.She always know where they are.
3. It is good for their health.
4. Her husband gets really involved with the kids.
5. Her KIDs love it..

She says they are happiest when they are on a team. They have made a ton of friends.. and she has discovered.. when it is your own child playing and participating.. it is more interesting and exciting.

Our daughter was into things we were not that interested in, but we loved how much pleasure she got from it.

And of course she picked a sport that was hard to watch.. She rowed on a crew.. It is like watching a a runner. you see them take off and then you just have to wait for them to come back after the race to tell you how they did. . Not very exciting, but she loves it. We got to spend some beautiful relaxing reading time while waiting next to the lake.

AFTER READING YOUR "SO WHAT HAPPENED"
In this world it is very difficult to determine the definition of "normal", however, I have a concern in your use of the term LOATH regarding your husband's family's lifestyle. If your husband still enjoys smoking under the bleachers and your child gets into sports, it could be a win win for the two of them.

I don't think families should chose an athletic event over worship services, but worship services only last a couple of hours and there is still plenty of time left for other activities.

Birdie,

At about 5 he may want to play T ball or soccer (like most children his age). Some parents prefer to enroll their children in a martial arts program, while others prefer gymnastics or music. What ever he does, there WILL be events, weekends or during the week.

If you dreaded such events, my question is why did you opt for parenthood in the first place? What do you hope for your child? You may not be the ONLY one, but I suspect your feelings of dread would put you in the minority!

I think once you see your child in action, you both may become his/her biggest fans.

Blessings...

this isn't about YOU - this is about YOUR CHILD!

Sports activities help in MANY ways - socialization, skills, health - just to name a few.

If he's active - that's GREAT!!! want something fast?! soccer - it's a fast moving game and lasts one hour. Yes, you have practice, but it's once or twice a week.

Swim meets are all day events...however, I truly feel that swimming is a life skill one must possess in order to function in life (there's water every where).

Baseball is a slower moving sport and will take up several hours of your weekend.

La Crosse is fast moving and takes 1 hour for the game.

Find something he's good at - let him excel at it - just because YOU don't like sports doesn't mean your son can't like it!!! Who knows! He may grow up to the next Tiger Woods or Anthony Pujols! Seriously- DO NOT stop your child from having an active, sporting life!!!

You may actually find people you like there too!

First, your child is only 3. Relax!! And if he (she?) ends up wanting to play sports, then don't hold him back. Plus it will be a totally different experience watching your child learn, achieve, succeed on a field or court than watching strangers play that sport. You'll be totally into it - it's your kid. Not to mention how great it is for kids socially. If I were you I'd be celebrating the miracle that the two of you produced an athletic child! :)

And when you become a parent, your weekends change. That's life!

I hate sports but nothing brings me more joy then watching my boys play them and have fun. The smiles on their faces makes up for it all. Really an 1.5 hrs isnt that much time out of your weekend :)

Whether you feel this way, your child is obviously athletically inclined. Soooo...whatever ill feelings you may harbor and let your child grow. What is it that you all do on a weekend that makes you both "dread the thought of weekend sporting events"? If your child was so fulfilled with his/her weekend activities he/she may not be seeking other alternatives. As others have stated, it is JUST NOT ABOUT YOU!!

I hear ya, but you shouldn't deny your child from playing sports just b/c you and your husband hate sports. Why don't you an dyour husband take turns taking your child to sports games, so you will only be going every other weekend? If your child is athletically inclined, I wouldn't take this away from her..

Just because you hated sports does not mean the your child will. Please don't keep him from participating just because it is not what you want. Growing up, I was not allowed to participate in ANY thing and I resented my family for it (didn't live with my parents). I let my son participate in anything he wanted but set limits (one sport per season and once he started the season he had to finish that season even if he never played again after it was over). If you allow your child to sign up and participate, chances are you will end up loving to watch him do what he enjoys, especially if he is good at what he does.

As I do feel the same as you...it is not up to you, but rather up to your son if he wants to play sports. If he does choose to play sports, it will be one of the many sacrifices you will have to make as parent to ensure your child is happy in making his own decisions.

UPDATE: After reading your So What Happened...WOW, quite defensive aren't you? When your child ends up as hard headed and selfish as you are, don't be surprised.

I was never any good at sports by my older daughter excelled at softball. She was a scrawny girl, but oh my could she pitch and hit. It wouldn't have been my choice either, but she lived for it. She made good friends, had the influence of great coaches and parents -- and other athletes -- and she didn't have time to be bored or get into trouble.

I also made some good friends and I'm not one to sit in a ballpark every weekend. But I did it for her. I ended up being the softball booster president for her high school. My old high school buddies made fun of me because it was not something they could picture me doing -- being into sports.

What is your style on the weekends? At 3 I'm sure there might just be a game to go to and not much more for you. Could you squeeze that in? It's when they get older that your schedules revolve around theirs -- and that is the case whether they're in band or sports or theater. You get to be in the background. But they will be the most fun years of your life.

I used to feel the way you do - I was a scholar, dancer and artist and had no athletic ability or desire. Having 3 boys has made even me, a definite non-athlete, into both a sports fan and a novice fitness buff. My oldest even plays the most dreaded of all sports, hockey. Yes, I have gotten up at 4:30 AM for an away game and have come home as late as 10 on school night for this sport. My younger guys are taking skating lessons and love it too, so I've got at least another 10 years of this. So far I've had kids play hockey, basketball, baseball, t-ball, soccer, basketball and lacrosse. And do gymnastics, karate, ground fighting and kick boxing. And hip-hop and theater. Any play saxophone, trumpet and drums. And take art lessons.

Honestly, the activities will eventually encroach onto your weekends, but only as much as you let them. We still manage to fit in religious education and church on Sundays, we still do most of our laundry and grocery shopping on the weekends, my husband and I both frequently work partial days on the weekend, and we still have plenty of family time.

Just go with the flow - most kids do some kind of sport, and those that don't do sports per se tend to do things that are equally time consuming, such as music, dance or theater. It's all fun and it's all good. Another positive to spending so much time around sports people is that it's contagious. I hate to run but am doing a triathlon in June - the swimming and biking are actually enjoyable and if I have to walk most of the run, it's no big deal. It's fun to be training for something, and fun to be one of the moms working out at the gym or in a spin class in the morning. Try to embrace it - it's not as bad as you think, I promise!

And one more bonus - most of the high achieving students I tutor for SAT prep are athletes as well as scholars. It's kind of a given now that just having top grades isn't enough, so let your daughter pursue anything she likes - some of my top performers are performers or artists, but most are athletes. Also, hockey has helped my son tremendously with his ADHD and seasonal depression. His grades have never been better nor has he ever been more upbeat and organized. Having physical activity in his day it a must for him, and it really helps a lot of kids deal with stress as they get older.

Here's my thoughts on it....
My friend (practically my sister) does them with her kids and she spends a TON of time with practices and games. She's done soccer, football (which was the most time consuming) and now basketball. Multiple practices during the week all day games on saturday (and I say all day because the younger one will play first, then an hour after that game ends her oldest one plays....so she figures why go home). Then there's the tounraments at the end, which is both Saturdays and Sundays. It's like it never ends.
The thought of sitting out in the sun, getting burned to a crisp (which I will) spending hours upon hours watching a game I have no interest in does not thrill me one bit.
What does thrill me, is that if my kid likes it, then she will be having fun. She'll be getting physical activity, learns what it means to be on a team, discipline herself to go through practices, get an understanding of a game, make friends, and comprehend winning/losing.
So while I don't care for too many sports....I'll sit through it for my kid. I even sat through it for my friends kids when they were in soccer. Even now that I live 6 hours away from them the younger one will call me and invite me to a game....he's obviously proud, and I like that aspect too (I tell him I am cheering him on 300 miles away).
I'll let my kid try any extra activity she wants too....if it's band, dance, sports or whatever.
Just my opinion.
Best wishes.

my hubby is not a sports type at all. my son is on soccer teams.. he did basketball and baseball too. it keeps them out of trouble.. shows them how to work with a team.. it makes them work hard. My son loves sports.. soccer is the only sport now. We car pooled to some games.. like i would drive a few kids one week.. and then other parents did the same. Dont hold him back.. if he wants sports.. then go with it. let him try it.. if he is good.. and likes it.. then go with it.. its enjoyable when your kid is playing .. My daughter is a ballet freak.. she loves it.. i always hated ballet.. but now i love to see my daughter dance.. its awesome.. have fun...

I was never very athletic (more artistic/musical) but our DD is 3 and while it's too early to say for sure, she seems to really enjoy physical activities like kicking a soccer ball and playing catch. She's been doing a gymnastics class once a week and loves it. I am planning to sign her up for swimming as well. Whatever it is that she enjoys doing, I will support her, because it's not about me anymore. If she really ends up getting into athletics, it will be a great way for her to stay fit and healthy, and to make friends. And hopefully being involved in something will make things like alcohol and drug use and having sex less of a temptation. I am actually really happy to see how strong and athletic she is turning out to be, as well as confident, because I am hoping she will have an easier time in school making friends than I did as a kid. Who knows, she might be in the Olympics some day...

DH really wanted to do sports as a kid but his family life was so chaotic and they did so much moving around that it made it impossible for him to ever sign up for anything. He still feels somewhat resentful about it to this day. Don't do that to your child - don't forbid him from doing something he might really love just because it is not your cup of tea.

I totally understand where you are coming from, I don't like sports either, except Martial Arts. My ex is a soccer nut and my older son got into soccer also and now has my granddaughter playing.
Kids learn alot from palying sports, teamwork, winning isn't everything, etc. Also there are a lot of colleges who offer scholorships to kids involved in sports. Scholarships are now more than just academics, sports, community service, and other things are also looked at.
I'm not saying you have to put your kids in sports but think about it.

I was not very cordinated was I was growing up but I still think I good think to get involved in. Like everything else in life moderation is the key. Our kids are involved in sports but not a crazy amount. School comes first in our house.
Also it helps themstay fit for life.

No. I hate sports, unless it is dance. My oldest is a softball player. There comes a time when our children are born that it becomes not about us, but about our children. So, to see how happy and proud it makes her, I cheer her on happily, never complaining! :)

My son is very athletic too.
And he knows that, himself.

From 2 years old he could dribble a ball, switching it to both hands, while walking or running at the same time.
He can throw like a pitcher.
He can kick, jump and do so many things, athletically, that is advanced for his age.
BUT.. ultimately, we go by HIS interests.

My son is now 4.5 years old.
He is not interested in taking soccer. He likes martial arts. He said so. He also likes music. That is his other, 'talent' and inherent, ability.
So, we go according to HIS interests.
We do not push him in one 'sport' or the other.
My son also likes Tennis. He is good at it. Already.
He told us, he LIKES tennis.

Being in "sports" should be something a child wants to do, as well.
Not just as a perfunctory thing, per the parents deciding.
The child should themselves, love and enjoy it.
It is not about 'competition', but having fun.

You as parents, do not have to be "jockeys" yourselves, nor into sports.
You can still, nurture your SON's, interests.

'Sports" constitutes a WIDE range of activities.
Myself as a child, I did not like 'team' sports. I liked individual sports. I ran track and cross country. I was good at that.
I knew, myself.
Let your son, KNOW himself too, and "his" interests.
There are many activities/sports.
It does not have to be huge organized sports like Football etc.
There are MANY Choices.

Personally, I do not like those kiddie ALL weekend sports things either. I really dislike it, because of the social obligations and social 'cliques' of the parents. But, if my son, 'wanted' to do say, soccer... then well, we'd try it. For him.

There are many choices, per 'sports.'
Even Golfing.

And, your son may not want to, do those 'sports' things either.
The point being, go by HIS... personal inclinations and interests...

The BOTTOM-line is... go by your son.
Just because he is "athletic"... will not mean, he WILL do all those sports things. He may have other ideas.
Nurture his 'whole' being.
Not just, the physical part.

But let your son try things... if he wants to.

Your son is so young. So who knows, what he will end up wanting to do.

As I said, even if my son is really athletic and it is his inherent ability.. HE... does not want to do those things. Not the soccer thing, nor the other sports. He told us.
He likes, marital arts and drums/guitar.

But we do let our kids try things.

all the best,
Susan

I'm with you. I, too, dread the weekend sporting events and the late practices w/late dinners and late getting to homework.
But I think it's safe to say at the tender age of 3, you don't need to enroll him in any sports right now. Plenty of time for that later.
Having said that, I would not hold him back from sports when he's older just because YOU don't want to support him and sit out at the games.
I say let him do it when he's older and you and hubby find a way to make it fun for yourselves. Bring a tablet to make notes, I'd say bring a book but I think it would be rude to your kid to hide your nose in a book, commit to yourselves to making 1 or 2 friends each w/someone who looks friendly, treat yourself to something afterwards like a book, lunch, a small treat bought online etc.
But when your sweet baby is older......don't hold him back because YOU both don't want to sit at the games. Tha's a little selfish. Sorry and I too will heed my own advice. Ugh. Yuck. But I will suck it up for my kid but not til he's older dang it. :)

I agree with other moms, it's about your child. You may think you won't enjoy it but when it actually happens may find yourself loving it... give it a chance. I used to tell myself I would never let my daughter in cheer or be a soccer mom and I actually look forward to being a crazy every event mom in whatever she decides she wants to do... as long as it doesn't cross a morality line (thinking of cheer lol).

My parents did not get me involved in sports for the same reason you are saying and I had a bit of resentment because I felt like I was no good at sports b/c I didn't start younger than high school. When I did do some competitive colorguard (rifle tossing, saber tossing, flag demonstration, dancing, etc and was so good that I was offered to go with a national team fee free) but my parents went to one event the whole four years I did it... it made me quite bitter for a long time. I actually keep it in mind with my daughter because I don't want to be that parent. Not saying you will be like that, but it is some food for thought.

My aunt was insane about her boys (3 boys) football games.. she'd ride on the buses and cheer and scream and was ALL into their events and stuff... I always envied that because my parents were not anywhere near that. I guess what I'm saying is if your child wants to play a sport or wants to go to games and compete, don't hinder it and don't show any negative feelings towards it in front of the child or near the child.

I will be like my aunt but sports won't happen if her grades aren't good. She will have to keep up on school before sports or anything else like that happens. But honestly, I am ecstatic to do anything my daughter wants to do (that isn't destructive to her) because she is my life and it is about her, not me... I am raising her so she depends on my support and encouragement.

People say it wastes family time but you can make it family time, my parents will never understand how much it seriously would've meant to me to have them there, to me it would've been an awesome family affair.

I guess as you can tell I don't feel the same way, but I did before I had my daughter.

Update:* I totally understand and if you go to church (a general "you") then it shouldn't be in the way of that. Family weekend time isn't supposed to be a forced thing or else your going to have a grumpy resentful child and what fun is that. My aunt is really really close to her 2 boys and they spent friday nights and maybe the occasional saturday at football games. Family weekend isn't supposed to be a punishment lol but that's what it will feel like to a child or teen who can't play the sport they want to play b/c of family time (I just remember how I felt).

Hey Birdie, how's beautiful San Clemente? We used to live there...sigh...

Having an athletic kid could really take up a lot of your time, if you have to travel for games, etc., but you won't have to worry about that for a decade or so. Kids are what they are, so if you've gotta do it, you've gotta do it, even if it's not your style.

I know people who LIVE for their kids sporting events. My boys were the artist and the intellect, respectively, so I didn't have to do many games, thankfully. My daughter did the most sports, but fortunately they were local.

I know you'll live up to the challenge...

Just because you and your husband don't like sports doesn't mean your child has to avoid them. Children are their own person, they may or may not be like you. While you may have hated being forced to do sports, think of how your child may hate not being allowed to participate in them if he wants to.

There is a big difference between watching professional sports on TV and watching your own child out there on the field/court/gym floor. I would never watch soccer on TV and I never went to a high school soccer game, but I enjoyed watching my daughter play and I liked cheering her and her team on.

Most of the sports for very young children don't have much of a commitment. Soccer for us was a one hour practice a week and a one hour game on Saturday mornings. Hardly a whole weekend! You might also look for sports that are "All Star," for example, they have an All Star indoor soccer program and it's not actual games but a one hour a week practice where they do drills and then they have a short game. No weekend commitment at all.

We also have lots of girls in gymnastics. They practice one hour a week (45 minutes for preschool). Again, not competitive so no weekends. Dance is another sport, no weekends just a class once a week. You can choose to do the recital and they are so cute!

There are lots of options out there. I'm sure you can find one that fits your family. And who knows, maybe your 3-year old looks like a soccer player now, but she may be a pianist in the making!

My husband was an avid athlete and remembers that his Dad was at every game but his mother NEVER saw him play. It was traumatic for him. He also didn't like the parents of other kids living vicariously through their kids because they never achieved any sporting recognition. Our girls were never involved in any. Now that they are almost grown, I do regret some things. I too was never really into sports and my husband has lost his love of the game. Look at both sides very closely at what they will benefit from and what will affect them negatively. You don't have to go overboard with anything...one way or the other....

M.

I did not participate in any sports as a kid (gymnastics from 5-8 yrs) but her dad was a golfer and baseball player. When my 17 year old daughter was 4ish she did tiny tot sports...soccer, softball and basketball. After that she danced and did gymnastics. When she was 7 she got into softball and got very good, then moved on to travel ball and then played for her high school teams. That's when it got very competitive with weekend activities. Although it wasn't my thing when I was a kid, my daughter excelled, loved being a mentor to the younger kids and it was wonderful being part of a team. I met great kids, parents and loved being team mom. It was a great family bonding time to support her and I think kept her out of trouble when she could have had other distractions. She has had other exposure to art classes, volunteering with animal associations, travel and other activities....most recently a boxing gym! I think we owe it to our kids to help them find out something that excites them.

I too hate sports and the whole mentality that goes with it. I am constantly amazed at the families that I know where sports is their lifestyle-it consumes every bit of extra time the family has all year long. And while one kid has a game the whole family is dragged along to sit and watch. These same parents eyes glaze over when you talk about school-they are just not interested. If American parents spent even a quarter of the amount of energy that they do on sports on academics we would be one of the smartes countries in the world. That is one place where in my opinion the Chinese Tiger Mom is right on. Our priorities are absolutely in the wrong place. Oh-and the praise heaped on the young athletes....whereas the child who excels at school is called a geek and actually looked down on by other parents. Well...I could go on and on-this is a huge hot button with me. Just know your are not alone. My boys play sports but I make sure it is in perspective.

I've told all 3 of our girls that they can pick ONE activity each to be in per year, be it band, sports, track, etc. There are 3 of them. My hubby works an alternating shift, therefore it will mainly be me running the 3 of them to/from the events. I'm one person. I can only do so much. No, you aren't the only one who feels this way, but I feel I owe it to my children to give them the right to choose if they do or don't play.

When I was a kid I wanted to go to so many things (gymnastics, ballet, cheerleader,etc) but my mother couldn't afford them.
When I had my daughter I was hoping she would want to do any of these but she was totally into art stuff.
It was very, very hard for me to don't push her to do the things I was hopping she would like.
It was until she went to over night camp that she start getting very sporty (camping, canoe, hiking, volleyball) , there are not the girly sports that I wanted to be when a kid and maybe the little one would like to be a girly cheerleader but if she is not, oh well, as far as they are doing what they like and is good for them I will suck it up.
Lots of driving, changes in our schedule, stress, spend extra money, barely time to do anything else when they are in week day, she has to stay late doing homework, then the next day she is tired, awful for potty training little sister, dealing with bad winers or bad looser, and the those days where she gets frustrated and you don't know if let her give up or push her to keep trying, etc.
So yes, I can understand why some may not like it.

yep...i agree with a lot of the other moms. not my fave! BUT it's not about my interests. besides - my interest is seeing my son have fun and learn something new. my son is totally over the moon knowing that next week his soccer class starts. (he's 4) i think 3 is a little young, and i would probably even wait until he asks, if you really hate it that much. i made the rookie mistake of trying to put him in a tumbling class at 3 and it was a disaster. a year has made a big difference in his development and ability to do structured activities (thanks also in part to preschool!) but give the kid a break, it's not his fault his parents hate sports lol.

my oldest did t ball for a couple years, and soccer for one. By second grade he didn't like either one so no more sports. My youngest is adhd. Him with a bat just scared me to much, and i couldn't see him being focussed enough for soccer at an early age so we didnt do that either. We tried karate with him and he just didn't stay focussed. They both like swimming lessons. My nephews liked swimming and gymnastics and music lessons. Plenty of stuff to do, and not have to be so sporty. Let him try stuff and see where it goes.

When she's older, enroll her in a martial arts instead of a traditional sports type program. My son takes Tai Jitsu and he loves it. It's a non-competitive sport and reinforces discipline and respect.

Hard to not get slightly offended by such judgmental replies (not all, but a lot). We are very much into the arts and have been our whole lives. We do go to ballet, we love live theater and hold season passes to TWO theaters, we are members at a world class art museum, the Modern, AND a sculpture museum. We love to take the kids to children's museum, the botanical gardens especially for special events in the Japanese gardens, or a concert in the park, but also just when it's a pretty day, but we have taken gardening classes as a family (yes, even my preschooler). My preschooler would make us go to the Amon Carter or 2 western art museums every weekend if he could. We've joined in on zoo camps, pre-K picassos, all kinds of educational activities.
HOWEVER we do love sports! Our eyes do NOT glaze over at the mention of school or academics, and we are not living vicariously through children, but we LOVE sports! One mom mentioned that martial arts for little kids is nothing but stretches and a lot of money for the gi. I beg to differ! I was hesitant to put him in it, but he WANTED to do it, so a few months after he turned 4, we let him join in: hung gar kung fu. He loves it, and he's really good at it. He has started walking taller, he sits with perfect posture and really listens hard, he concentrates better (not just in class but is learning to focus and concentrate in other areas as well). After he earned his yellow belt we went home for celebratory ice cream and blueberries, and I let him watch the video....he giggled and I said "what was funny?" and he said "I'm so proud of myself I could cry at that". My husband hugged me later and said that comment alone was worth signing him up for. We took him to a tournament to see one of his teachers, and he set his sights on a tournament in October as his goal. I told him we'd have to see, because I didn't want to put him in something over his skill level and hurt his confidence or something. He, at age 4, asked his sifu if he could be on the tournament team and what does he need to do. He is now working towards that goal, and we're impressed with how he's learning goal setting and doing something all his own (he has officially been included on the tournament team for forms now). Soccer: it brings him JOY. It is not a waste of time. He has friends he sees a couple times a week, he really looks up to his new coach, he is quite good at it. We play as a family on the beach on sunny days (the water is too cold yet, but we go to enjoy the sun, and soccer is fun for us). He's good enough at age 4 that people will tap their companions' arms and point to watch him go. Now he's "teaching" his 16 month old brother, and it's something they play together, even though of course he has to be much slower and more gentle with his little brother. It's exercise, it makes him happy, he learns to take turns and that he can't be the star ALL the time--he must pass the ball and use teamwork to get the ball down the field instead of doing it all by himself all the time. He knows that when he gets disappointed, there are good and bad ways to handle it. (And consequences if he makes bad choices on sportsmanship). NO it is NOT a waste of time. Unless the parent is one that sits in a lawnchair playing on the i-phone and not paying attention to anything, not having any input to help guide and instruct their child. Otherwise, a great tool. And we learn when we "drag" family members to each others events that we support and love each other, and will be there for each other. Not just one kid, but everyone. We love each other and spend time together that way. And supporting each other is fun; we're not being "dragged" everywhere. Little guy has his 2 activities a week that are mommy and me classes, but when he gets older we will let him follow his interests and what excites him, and we'll be cheering him on whether he's playing chess or on the wrestling team. Big guy has 2 activities a week (soccer but that is just seasonal, and kung fu), but we play it together, get some sun and spread the blanket out for a picnic. He loves to be the sifu and make us his students and we'll all (even the baby) do little stretches and do the routine (it helps him learn, boosts his confidence, amuses us, helps us all bond, and we get a little exercise to boot). We all volunteer at church in various areas, we all volunteer at a charity, feeding their horses in the mornings. We do Bible drills, we practice school stuff, we're just involved. But it IS about the kids and where they want to go, not us. We've had our childhood and made our choices as to what makes us happy, what activity we choose to be involved in. We would never dream of saying "no football, I don't like it" or "you have to play the flute because I do". GROSS. Why can't your child play soccer today and be a computer tech tomorrow, and be in ballet the next? Childhood is about exploration in my opinion. And finally: in middle school I was played volleyball and ran track for the school, was in select fastpitch softball and we came in 2nd at the state tournament. In highschool, I played softball and soccer, and we were very good in soccer and "known" even a couple hours away when we went to a tournament. We didn't have to skip church (which wouldn't have been allowed in my house), and the family didn't waste their weekend (a couple hours MAXIMUM, out of 48). A "hot topic" for me too.

Oh, yes! We grew up playing sports and I can't imagine how my parents managed all our schedules. I SO don't want to drive around like crazy. I'm hoping my son was given our artistic abilities instead of athletic!!

I think tennis is the way to go.

When I decided to become a parent, I accepted the fact that I would eventually be sacrificing some time spent diong the thins I enjoyed on my days off to watch her do things she enjoyed, to the extent that she enjoyed them.
She was never particularly athletic, so I didn't have to spend hours sitting on bleachers watching her play a sport. But I did sit through endless piano and dance recitals, and school plays with lines being fed to the kids from backstage. I also spent many hours backstage feeding kids lines or trying to keep the kids who weren't on stage at the moment quiet, and making sure that they didn't miss their entrance cues. Participating in or watching things that you wouldn't otherwise spend time on is part of being a supportive parent.

I think I can understand where you are coming from however as I hope my son does not want to be part of baseball as I find it boring and too long however if he is passionate about baseball and wants to do it I will sit for 4 hours go to practices and be there every game to cheer him on.

My husbands father did not like sports and did not come to support him in which he still remembers as an adult. If your child becomes passionate about something its a few hours a day and your family can all still spend time together and it will only be a season not the whole year. Good luck.

If your child wants to play sports then I would not hold him back. Most sports for kids just go for a season and then they are over. My daughers soccer season is only 8 weeks long and they only play one hour a day on Sunday.She has fun so I have fun. Sports are great for kids, and they don't have to be all consuming of your time if you don't want them to be. . I was a competitive swimmer for 15 years, started in the sport when I was six. Once I hit around 12 I was practicing 6 days a week, two hrs a day plus meets on the weekend, and swim meets go all weekend. I don't even know how many hours my parents spent driving me and my younger sister to practice, but I'm so glad that they did, or I wouldn't have had this amazing experience. I wouldn't trade all of my years of swimming for anything, the benefits I received from it were many.

I was a band and theater kid myself :) My husband ran track, and enjoys basketball.

We just signed our 6 and 4 year olds up for a "sports of all sorts" class through parks and rec - it's 4 mornings in June. We also signed our 6 year up for a a parks and rec golf class. This is our first foray into the whole thing... having never had any interest in it myself I am tentative to say the least.

I think 3 is too young. I had friends who tried soccer at that age and said it was a total waste of time.

Elementary seems a good time to try out some things. Life is good with athletic hobbies. I remember really enjoying my "Lifetime Sports" phy ed class in high school - and am kind of athletic now - I love yoga! :)

Good luck,
J.

I agree that some parents go way overboard with the sports and having kids booked solid all the time. If your son does want to do sports, it is more for him than you, and yes, you will adapt and grow to enjoy watching him do his thing. You can limit what he is allowed to do at one time so you can keep family time your priority. My sons are in high school now, and we tried all sorts of sports they had an interest in, but never a lot at one time, so it was manageable. Now, I have a sophmore and a junior and I am looking at my oldest's last year next year and it is sad, so I am enjoying these sports events more now. Plus, my parents, especially my dad, are really into watching them too. My dad does not miss a meet! He is there sometimes before the bus is and buys them a t-shirt from each meet. You can find a balance, and your son might find something he truly loves and becomes really good at, so it would be fair to let him have some chances. Keep in mind, too, that as the kids get older, your weekend time will change as well as time goes on.

Hi Birdie,
I and my husband aren't very inclined toward sports either. I hate those weekend sporting events too. My child is more inclined towards art and drawing. She takes ballet lessons, and is very talented in making clothes and accessories for her Barbie dolls. She's very good in drawing and coloring too. So, we encourage her mostly in which she shows interest, and luckily for us, she's not so much into any kind of sports :-)

YesYesYesYes!!!!! Mine are still a little too young IMO (4&2&one on the way) but we have been at the park during games AND practices, which seem so much less appealing to me as a parent, LOL! I hope if my kids want to be involved, it will happen at school and I will definately put a limit on # of sports per season or year (like one!) I did gymnastics and dance in elementary school and some drama when I was older and I motivated all of it...mom would make sure I got to and from and would come to demonstrations or plays that I invited her to, but she NEVER sat thru practices and I think that is how it should be. The kid is doing it for themselves, not the adults. I was a kid that didn't like my parents invovled in my stuff though... I would talk to them about it but didn't see a reason for them to be present for everything. Unfortunately I know in my area that county rec teams require a parent at every practice and game and I honestly do not see me toting multiple kids to multiple practices/games every weekend...more power to the families that enjoy this but I am saying a prayer my kids don't all love sports!

Three is way too young for organized sports IMO. Kids that age are learning and developing every minute and don't really need that kind of 'team' stuff- the lessons you want them to learn aren't going to sink in at that age.

Ditto ESPECIALLY for martial arts. My son has studied aikido since he was six (he is 11 now) but places that have classes for very small kids are no better than just doing some exercises and stretches and charging you a lot for a gi.

Enjoy your 'little' one while they are still small. That time will fly by and there will be lots of opportunities for little league, martial arts, etc. If you think he needs socialization, join a play group or have him do a preschool 3 days a week or something. He's so little now, it's not as if he 'really' wants to be in an organized sport- he doesn't even know what one is!

YES! I find organized sports before age 8 to be for the parents anyway.
Luckily, my child prefers the arts.

Most sports organizations won't let kids under 4 1/2 play anything. They aren't old enough mentally to understand team sports. T-Ball is one that I can think of that will start a bit younger. It's always fun to watch the kids roll around in the grass or pick flowers. Our girl would drop her mitt and start doing cartwheels.

So, you have some time to start adjusting your life to accomidate her....

I think there are programs out there that would statisfy your kiddos urge for sports in a low key low pressure way. We've had pretty good luck with the YMCA and you can limit the extent to which they participate.

Having elem school age kids now, it is funny to look back on the different stages they went through, at 3 i thought my son was the next mozart and at 5 the next picasso, now he is into baseball, but i'm sure that will change soon too. I honestly think as he gets older if you don't encourage him he will probably direct his interests to things you do like and value. choose wisely.

Hi Birdie, sports are very important for children, for so many reasons. I know I was never into sports and the only sport my husband did was Martial Arts, but we supported our kids in base ball and basket ball, and dance with our daughter, going to watch your kids is part of being a parent, sports help keep children busy, keeps them moving not sitting in from of a TV or computer teaches them sportsmenship, it teaches them how to handle losing, there is really no end to the benifits of sports for kids. Don't be selfish with your time, we loved watching our sons play in little leage never missed on game, and in 5 years we have not missed one dance show our daughter has been in, that's what parents do. J.

i dealt with cub/boy scouts for my oldest boy from age 7 to 13. then we moved and i just haven't enrolled him again. you know what, i love NOT having to deal with the scheduling of various events or running him to weekly meetings and him missing valuable homework time. the older he got, the more events he was required to do, thus the more stressful it became. add to that i am only mildly outdoorsy and hubby not at all, and you could say that family campouts were not that fun for us as a whole.

so now for my almost 14 and 7 year old in this new place, i choose to keep them out of activities till their grades improved. this summer i will likely enroll them in karate or some kind of lessons, as it won't interfere with school. but for now i totally am enjoying my freedom!

if you are abnormal for wanting a quiet weekend filled with errands and housework, then i'm abnormal too!

My husband and I are the same way. Thankfully my boys aren't that interested either so we're good. Daughter's too young but I don't see it in here either.
I hate the environment of kids sports and want nothing to do with it.

Yep, not my style. My youngest daughter was involved in an after school sports program and that was fine with me because it did NOT involve me having to drive her anywhere on the weekend. Our weekends are very busy and they are essentially our family time and like you, sports just isn't my style either. When they are in H.S., if that is what they want, I may let them but my kiddos are quite young (elementary school age) and I'm fine with things the way they are.

And I'd have to say that I highly doubt any 3 year old is looking for anything but fun....and you can get fun at the park. : )

Since I'm sure you got slammed with negative responses to this post, I just want to tell you that you are NOT alone. I too, feel the same as you. I did not get either of my kids involved in organized sports. At times I feel as if I've done my kids a disservice (they are 10 and 14 now). But I'm not kicking myself over it. My 14 year old is a very gifted and talented musician and artist. She probably would not have flourished as well in these areas if she spent all her days on the field, simply because both of these things have taken up so much of her free time already. Would being in organized sports have benefited her? Sure, absolutely. But the same can be said for all those kids in organized sports - that THEY would have benefited greatly from art and music.

However- If your son shows interest in sports, I would encourage him. Let nature take it's course. You don't have to run out and immediately sign him up for the national league, but let him have a taste of it. Just get his little feet wet and see where it takes him. If he loves it, then yes- I would suck it up and dive in head first. But there's no need to take it too seriously at this stage. Just have fun with it. And go with your gut instincts as a mother.

And for all those parents who are judging you and saying this is about YOUR CHILD, not about "you" - I'm sure they have plenty of things in their closet that they are ashamed of. Things they DIDN'T sacrifice for their kids. And don't let them try to say any different. We've ALL done things for ourselves at some point or another. Maybe I didn't give in to organized sports because it's my personal dislike for a number of reasons, but I've certainly sacrificed a whole heck of a lot more for my kids that certainly outweighs not putting them into sports. Go ahead folks - try me. Believe me, there are things that make ALL of us less than perfect moms. Don't be so quick to point fingers and judge.