Am I to Hard on My Kid Who Plays Baseball

Does he want to play or do you want him to play?
Does he have good hand-eye coordination yet?
Maybe swimming might be a better sport, if he doesn't pay attention he goes under water. He won't and will try to do his best to swim the lenght of the pool because he has too.
Mine has ADHD and liked swimming and gymnastics and Tae Kwon Do.
If you push too hard he will quit altogether and reject all sports. Let up on him.

Sadly at this age a lot of Coaches can be in it for them selves. ADD or no ADD there are lots of kids that do not focus at this young age. That don't pay attention, they watch the other teams, or steer at the sky. And it has nothing to do w/ ADD. They are young and it is hard for any kid to completely focus their attention. So you should do whats right for you.

I think that if he gives it a shot after you work with him, then you should ease off and try art instead. Dont fulfill your dreams by forcing them into your kids. If it isnt his thing, that is okay, but be sure to try and encourage him, and make sure he is listening and able to feel like a part of the team. He needs to learn those values for life, but if he genuinely isnt good or doesnt like it- that may just not be his calling. Dont give up BUT dont be mean either.

Just because you were great at sports doesn't mean your son will be, or even wants to be. There's a perfect sport for everyone; it's simply a matter of finding it. I've seen ADD kids do very well with martial arts.

I know it may be hard to deal with the fact that your son may not be Mr. Super-Athlete, like you were, but please be very aware of the expectations you're projecting on to him. Not everyone is a great athlete. In fact, some kids are in sports just to be healthy and have fun.

Playing a sport is supposed to be FUN... maybe baseball is not action oriented enough. Have you tried other things like basketball or soccer where they run more and it is less on precise skills? Or Karate, Gymnastics or Hip Hop dancing or something a bit more individual? If he is bored, he will be easily distracted.

Yes, if you practice with him every day in a fun (not rigorous or militant) way, he will improve his skills. But maybe playing outfield is just not enough action. I say try another sport.

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Does your son want to play sports or do you want him to play sports? Some children just do not have an interest in sports so it doesn't matter how good they are at it if they don't want to do it. If he wants to improve then of course help him, if you are doing this for you then let it go. My kids played t-ball and sometimes were so bored out in the field they would end up kicking rocks or talking to their friends, so I am not so sure this is even uncommon. T-ball sometimes does not have a strike out rule so it can go on for ever and most kids will get bored. At this level it should be fun, if you have to push him then I would let him find something else he likes to do.

My son has a short attention span, also. He tried t-ball and just didn't like it. He would play in the dirt, play with his glove, etc. Baseball is very hard for kids. There is a lot of down time. So, for a kids with an already short attention span, it's brutal. Baseball just may not be his sport. I don't have an issue with you trying to work with him if it's something HE wants to do and get better at. But, if he's not interested, then let it go. He may be athletic and interested in sports, just not this one. He could end up loving soccer or wrestling. Maybe basketball.
Both my husband and I were athletic in high school and now. We will ask our kids if they want to try a certain sport and support them when they do. However, if they try a sport and don't like it enough to do it again the next season, fine. My son who never liked baseball also tried wrestling, karate and football. He is now doing guitar and loves it. So, music may be his thing. After years of witnessing sports played by our kids, one thing is for sure. The parents who are pressuring their kids to play and be the best at it are the ones who are ruining the sport for everyone. If the parents get too involved, they can derail a season faster than any kid can, no matter how they play. We've seen it over and over again. Most the time it's the kids who suffer. The parent gets over-bearing, yelling, pushing, etc. Sometimes it affects the way the coach can do his/her job. We've lost more coaches this way. They get so fed up with the parents, they refuse to do it again. It's NEVER the kids, always the parents. We have always sat back and cheered for the whole team and tried to stay out of the drama. If our child is ok, we are ok. Even if we don't agree with the coaches decisions, we stay out of it. Of course, if a coach is degrading our child or being abusive or anything like that, of course we'd step in. Wow, I got off on a tangent a little.LOL! I'm just saying I get you wanting your kids to play sports. Sports are good for them. There are numerous studies saying kids who play sports or have extracurricular activities are better off. Just be careful of the tendency to want to be a helicopter parent, ya know, hovering. It's easy to get too into your child's activities. I wish you and your son good luck and have fun with whatever you guys do!!

We have the kids in Soccer, T-Ball, gymnastics, dance, tumbling, etc...so we stay busy but it's worth all the juggling. One thing you didn't mention is how old your son is. If he's 6 or under then move him to T-Ball. If older then he may feel out of place.

I have found that no kids pay attention in T-Ball, it's the fun part of the game, my girl was the flower picker the first season, the second she learned how to do cartwheels and did then all the time out in the outfield. T-Ball is for little bitty kids, 4 yrs. old to 6 or 7, just learning to hit the ball with a T and to stay in a general area for a few minutes. They don't focus on anything but having fun.

Soccer moves much faster, they are running, back and forth chasing the ball and trying to kick it, it is much more fun for kids that have any kind of attention issue.

I played sports all through my teen years and into college. I got hurt and ended up with knee surgery so I don't get to play anymore. I think the more kids have to do the better they are. It's a balancing act and, of course, I want them to have time for things they like and all but they will play sports too.

If the coach isn't able to work with your son reqest he be moved to a different team, now, before the kids get really bonded with their team mates.

does he want to stay playing baseball or is he ok going back to t-ball? Don't push or he will hate the sport and not want to play again. But if he hated t-ball and wants to play baseball moving him back may also put a damper on his love of the game and he will want to quit. Obviously your son is young enough to still play t-ball. I would let him. My daughter was old enough to move to coach pitch softball and young enough to stay at t-ball. Since in t-ball the coach starts out pitching and they only move the tee in if they miss a few - i figured keeping her in t-ball would be good for her. She can hit from her coach but the catching, throwing and learning the "ways" and rules of the game she could use some more practice on. And t-ball they don't really keep score so it is more about learning how the game is played and less about winning.
My son missed t-ball completely and went straight to coach pitch baseball- he wished he could go back so he could get the rules and ways down before it was about winning.
I say let him go back. Hope this helps:)

Maybe he would like running better with soccer. Remember he is young and has no attention span. The coach is too hard. Should be fun. Maybe a better coach on the t ball team. All my kids picked at the grass and were very distracted at baseball. Wouldn't worry at all just normal. He may feel the coaches need to have a winning team and it is negative pressure to him.

C.,

Just because you were very athletic does not mean that your kids will be. Your son needs your support and love so that he can feel safe to choose whatever path best suits him. Pushing your son to perform, sends the message that your love is conditional and based on whether or not he is successful.

You've described what his current coach wants and what you want. What does your son want?

Be well,
G. B., M.A.
Child Development Specialist
www.GilaBrown.com

Um, nowhere in your post do you mention if your SON loves baseball or is upset at the idea of being transferred to the dreaded T-Ball team. Isn't this sport supposed to be about him?

Do you want him to be in a sport he is not interested in and consistantly doesn't do well at- just because YOU are sure he can do better and you were athletic as a child?

Or maybe he goes to the T-ball team with other kids at his own skill and attention level. What on earth is so terrible about that?? Maybe he will actually have fun and start to get more into it- or maybe not.

You don't say how old your son is, but I know some parents start their kids on the little league merry go round really young. Ask yourself what is best for you son? What does he really like to do? Maybe he doesn't want to play baseball at all? Have you thought about a martial art? Sometimes that atmosphere and discipline is better for a kid with concentration issues than a 'team' sport.

I think you have an issue here, not your son.

Yes--I think you're being VERY hard on him. This is HIS life, not yours. If the coach thinks he will benefit from another year of T-ball, put him in t-ball! He has a valid point about him getting hurt. I've seen it with kids who are not paying attention and WHAM!--they get blasted by a baseball. I FEEL it's not worth it. Not trying to sound harsh but all kids have different strengths and weaknesses....

Has your son be diagnosed as having ADD? If not, I recommend that you get a professional evaluation and if the diagnosis fits his behavior begin doing the things that will help him be able to focus. Helping a child learn to focus, even without ADD, cannot be done in a couple of weeks. Learning how to focus takes time.

Therefore, I recommend that you put him in T-Ball until you have a better handle on why he isn't focusing and find a way to help him. When he is better at focusing he can return to baseball.

T-ball is still a sport. It just may be better geared to your son's ability at this point.

If you keep him in baseball against his coaches wishes you are setting him up for failure. First, by making the request the coach is telling you that he doesn't know how to help him. Second, he is not doing well already. Experiencing failure will not help him become a baseball player. He is likely to not want to be involved in sports at all.

So deal with the situation as it is. You cannot force him to fit the idea of who you want him to be. He is who he is. Show him lots of approval for being who he is. Put him situations in which he will succeed so that he'll want to keep trying. And get some professional help to learn how to deal with his lack of focus in a positive way.

It is difficult to let go of our dreams. Our job is to accept and love our children as the child that they are. It's the parents job to provide experiences that help the child grow. Even tho it's difficult to not do so, it is not our job to make our child fit in with our dreams. Adults have to learn how to accept life as it is and let go of unreasonable dreams. If you're able to do that now and get help for your son he may be able to be successful in baseball. But forcing the issue now will not help.

Working with him at home may help his baseball skills but will it help with his attention span? No. Sounds like the coach is looking out for the best interest of your son, you on the other hand are looking out for yourself. :( it's great that you were athletic growing up but your kids are different. allow them to find a sport/activity that they can excel in and support them along the way. Good luck to you.