Alright You Wonderful Moma's Help!!

A.,

You are not alone. I have been through the PD too. One suggestion is to see if there is anyone that could care for your baby 1 hour a week or so. This way you can get some"me" time. Its easy to lose your own identity and that is something that helped me feel a lot better. Also, you mentioned that you have to pick up your other child from school-what about carpooling with other moms? Also, something I always try to remember when I feel it coming on- They are only little once- so cherish the moments you have with them and don't be hard on yourself if you don't do everything right- your not perfect and no one else is either. Take care and have a great day!
*feel free to email if you would like to talk more.

Molly

I went through this and I did see a psychologist. after talking to her she asked me to tell people what I was going through. I found out a few others that I knew went through it as well, and it felt good letting it out. The other thing I did and it helped almost instantly, was joined a gym. I too was nursing at the time. My daughter was 9 months old. My husband and I talked and decided that i stop nursing. I knew I could nurse while I was out, but I didn't want to. It was just easier to stay home and do it in the comfort of our home. So when I stopped, and my daughter took to the bottle nipple very well, I'd say about a week or two. I was back visiting others and my mom, who encouraged to go out to lunch or meet my friends while she watched the baby now that she was taking the bottle. I am not encourageing you to stop nursing at all, please don't take this that way. This is just what I decided. I am for breast feeding, but also for each individuals convienence and needs. I wish you the best, and God Bless you and keep you while you endure this trial.

You sound like a great mom, so stop "shoulding" all over yourself. Not every mom loves being home all the time. When my 2 beautiful girls were about 3 months I was sooo ready to go back to work or school or SOMETHING, ANYTHING part-time. I love my kids dearly, and love that I am able to really be there for them AND I get antsy when they're home a lot and I don't feel I can have some "Me Time."
I have had problems with depression both before kids and post partum. St. John's Wort has been my saving grace instead of Western antidepressants (some of which made me worse than better and are addictive over time as I found our the hard way, ARRGH!). I've read that St. John's Wort is safe while breastfeeding and for me it has been highly effective. Just make sure to get the whole herb, not the extract. It won't make up for lack of self-care, but it will take the edge off and support seratonin production (Hurray for seratonin!)
Exercise, napping and accepting help are all great ways to reduce stress also. Remember, this too shall pass when all the hormones settle and your littlest one gets older and allows you to sleep more.

Depression is a serious disease and needs to be treated as it affects your children as well as yourself. I would strongly encourage you to talk with your primary care physician about this situation as soon as possible. Unchecked, depression can become a cyclic nightmare that strikes at unpredictable times.

I notice that you say you "should be so happy to stay home and watch" as your little one grows, but no one wrote that script. Some families work best when the mom is engaged outside the home as well as doing her fair share at home. A job or volunteer position can meet a lot of needs. However, it's difficult to get yourself motivated to do such things if you're seriously depressed. Therefore, I encourage you to talk with your doctor and then to find some way to take care of your own legitimate needs so that you can be a better, happier mother to your children.

I totally get what you are feeling! When my son was about a month old, I told my husband I was going to Target and escaped! I spent two hours just walking the aisles and filling my cart with things for myself (hair products, makeup, new underwear) nothing exciting, but it felt so good to be a little self centered for a minute.

I've been really happy since I started my business with BeautiControl. I get one scheduled day a week to be out of the house doing my own thing, pampering other women and showing them our spa-quality at home skin and body treatments.

Try to make a point to do something for yourself... something that is not for or with your kids or husband. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

Good luck HTH,
T.

I go through it every day. My situation is really a mess right now so I understand how you're feeling. I don't have the money to go out and do something... so a lot of times I go to a park and spend time there... or find free things to do. Have you thougt of joining meetup.com to find some people in your area with similar interests or finding a mom's group? :) I'd be happy to meet you, but I have a little boy and I'm not up in the bay area yet... but if that doesn't matter then we can talk! :)

Totally been there - and I think it's fairly common. When my kids were little - we had three kids ranging from 4 to new born - we had no money; I HAD TO GET OUT!!!! So, we went for walks around the neighborhood - then I started inviting friends to do the same...

R.

I think it's totally normal for us to sometimes feel like we aren't doing the best job. Trust me, A., you are doing a wonderful job and far from worthless! We have our up times and down times. It always helped me to have support from other moms going through the same thing. This board is a great way for that to happen, but having a person in the same room with you, to interact as adults may also help.

The local hospital in my area has a support group for mom's and their babies...that might be a great way to visit with other women...share/give advice on motherhood and have some adult interaction.

Try to schedule some time for yourself. I know it's very difficult when you are breastfeeding, but really try and make that happen. You don't even have to leave the house. Arrange to maybe sleep in an extra hour and take a long hot shower after you wake up with strict instructions not to be disturbed. Or go get your hair or nails done. Or, one of my personal favs, buy a magazine and sit in the backyard...alone! Ooooh - or make yourself a yummy breakfast and sit in front of the TV watching whatever cheesy show you have on DVR, undisturbed. Full tummy and cheesy TV!

Also, get out and take a brisk 30 minute walk everyday. You don't need a jogger...just a regular stroller. Endorphins make you happy!

You should also talk to your dr. They usually ask you in your follow-up appointments if you've got the blues, but you may want to schedule an appointment.

And know this...you are a wonderful mom with great purpose!

Hang in there!

Hello A.,
I've been dealing with depresion and had some post-partum with both of my two children. It has seem more with my second daughter possibly mother/daughter issues I had with my own mother. I worked all my life since I've been 16 yrs old and my husband notices when I do work my mood seems a lot better. I stopped working last May at first I was in a rut feeling, but got used to it and did a lot of things with the kids. Well depression started hitting me pretty bad also I have PTSD (stressful childhood I guess) The best thing you can do for yourself is call someone counselor/primary doctor/friend for some help Don't go a long time without getting some kind of help. You need yourself just as much the kids need you. Also look into some support groups in your area to reach out. If you like to email me we can be chat buddies just to have some one to talk with. Take Good Care!!! N.

A.,
After my first child, I had to go see a counselor,
he told me to run or do some form of exercise because I did not want to take meds. Making major life adjustments
can be a source of depression. WE had moved 2times, had a child and got married all in 6 months time. That was a lot. You need to take care of yourself, not just everyone else. I still go to the gym regularly and it has been
6 years now. I get so cranky when I don't go, my middle child will send me there, and tell me not to come back until I feel better. Pretty cute huh? SHe has been doing this for the past 6-7 years. SO, yeah there is a difference if you exercise. I hope you feel better soon
W.

A.,
I just seen this message that you posted. I just became a stay at home mom now for 7 months. I too dealt with depression and it is no joke. I understand where you are coming from and I too, do what you do with 4.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love my kids either, but sometimes the day to day routine can really effect how we feel as women. We don't have the time that we used to tending to OUR needs, desires and hobbies and we can fell unappreciated, unattractive and even from time to time worthless. Talk to someone, sometimes just your OBGYN can prescribe you a relaxant. I was on Amitripyline and it was good, to just get the edge off and focus. It helped me. But don't take my word for it. Everyone reacts to medications differently and I know from a medical standpoint, you should always consult professional opinion regarding trying medications. If medications don't work, try other relaxing techniques such as massage or maybe just finding a quite, dark spot to take a long nap. ( with a sitter's help, it can be done. )

What works for me, from time to time is, I try to find a little time through out the day by reading a nice book (drama and horror free), listening to my MP3 while I wait for the pick ups after school, or in the evening, when I know the baby is getting ready for his nap, take a walk with some music and I can feel a little better a out myself and not feel like my day has "gone to waste". I would be interested in talking to you more one-on-one if you are interested. I think we can both help eachother out! Good luck, keep your head up and try a few of the suggestions. A bubble bath helps to if you can get a sitter for about an hour! Take Care! L.