Age to Leave a Child Alone at Home?

I am going through something similar.
There is nothing illegal about leaving them alone at home at that age.
Hope that help!

In New Jersey the age limit is 12.

When I was growing up my mother would leave me and my sister alone and based on my experience, I strongly feel teens and pre-teens need just as much supervision as the toddlers. They do things to each other and friends that they would never do with an adult present and this is coming from a responsible teen.

Just some food for thought for you.

Dear P.,

I don't have any personal experience in this area, since my own son is still very small, but I will try to respond based on my background in sociology and as a women's self-defense instructor.

Okay. A few people who posted below said that "in today's world, you just can't [leave a pre-teen or young teen alone at home]." This is a very common, very understandable reaction, but it's not really based in any sound data. There is actually no reliable information to suggest that there are more predators out there than when we were kids, or that "stranger danger" is any worse than it used to be. What there is, instead, is a LOT of media coverage of a few isolated cases (and no media coverage of other, similar cases; it's really screwy). But the big picture hasn't changed much: to the extent that children are in any danger, they're likely to be harmed by someone known to them, e.g., a family member. The percentage of assaults/abductions committed by strangers is minute. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen; it does. But the danger of strangers is really exaggerated, while the danger from acquaintances/family members is minimized. I probably would be a little more concerned about having a preteen/young teen out and about on his/her own, simply because so few parents allow this nowadays: so the few kids who do run around solo are statistically likelier to be targeted. But in the house, doors locked, short period of time? Assuming you can reasonably trust your children and your neighborhood, the odds of anything bad happening, stranger-wise, are really quite slim.

In terms of expressing your concerns and preparing your kids, I really recommend a self-defense class and/or martial arts program -- something that will give kids usable skills and confidence. If you issue a lot of warnings without helping your kids be confident that they can handle a situation effectively, you could actually run the risk of playing into perverse teen logic: "Mom left me all by myself, which is super-dangerous, therefore she doesn't care about me, therefore I'm gonna go out and do ... whatever."

Hope this helps,

Mira

They'll be fine. I was allowed to be at home (from 3pm when school ended until 6 when my mom got home) in 5th grade. I just had to call my mom at work the second I came through the door.
At 14 I was already going to rock shows with my friends and staying out til 2am. It's not realistic to suggest that a 14 yr old can't be responsible for themselves in the safety of their own home. Not use the stove or oven?? How are they supposed to eat? If your kid can't operate the STOVE by 14, you have failed as a parent. End of story.
As for rapists and kidnappers... even my 8 yr old niece knows not to answer the door for ANYONE that's not her dad. She wouldn't even let my husband and I in because her dad hadn't told her specifically that that was okay. Try trusting your kids - they'll rise to the occasion. Promise.

You've already had this response, but if you are in New York, there is no minimum age. If your children are competent to be left alone, then that is your discretion. I was alone for overnights at 12 years old, but until she moved out, my older sister was NEVER allowed to be home alone at all. Every child is different. The Red Cross offers a course called Safe on Your Own, which teaches children about being home alone, etc. It is geared for children ages 8-12. Also, child care programs in New York provide care until a child is 12 years old, or through that school year, unless the child has special needs. I hope that helps!

FYI P., I don't know about the other states, but in New York, there is no legal age limit. I am an attorney, there is no law in New York, and just to be sure, I wrote to Newsday's parenting column to ask them. They published my letter and confirmed that in New York, NO legal age at which to leave a child alone.

I grew up as what they call a latch-key kid, meaning I stayed home behind closed doors while my mom worked. I know at 10, I was home by myself, possibly even younger. While I wouldn't recommend doing that (she didn't have much choice as a single mom and limited day care options), I have left my two older boys home alone when they were 11 and 12. Most of it depends on the child's maturity. My older son is more mature, more responsible, so I didn't have any concern about running to the grocery store for 20 minutes and leaving him home alone when he was 11. Not so much for my middle son. He had to be a little older.

I live in NY and called the sheriff's department and they told me there was no age limit. You might feel better if you do that for your area. While that's what the sheriff told me, my dh's cousin, an EMT said there's no law but if something did happen to a child under 13 while the parents were gone, they could be brought up on neglect charges. Something else to consider.

Like others have said, I think 12 and 14 are old enough to be left alone. I used to babysit when I was 12 so staying home alone should've been ok if I was responsible for little kids at other times, right? Definitely set ground rules. Anything you don't want them doing, make sure they know it and write a list of the rules. Otherwise, they might decide to make some mac and cheese on the stove and create a problem. Not making the 14 year old in charge of the 12 year old is a good thing, too. I'm sure the 14 year old will be bossy to the 12 year old and parent him anyway (mine does) but it will cause more resentment if he's officially put in charge of his little brother. You can make a rule that if a problem arises with the house, the older brother is to handle it. So he's in charge of the house but not his brother.

Start by leaving one home alone so you feel better. Obviously the oldest first if he's also the most mature. And 14 is plenty old to be left home alone. Always call and check up on him or them so they know you're still around in one form or another. That'll help deter bad behavior.

legally in NY I think the age is 12. (6th grade/middle school)....as to actually doing it ...well YOU know YOUR kids! I could leave my 2nd oldest home for a little while...he'd be fine, his older brother...NO WAY!! Set ground rules...NO answering the phone/door...etc...and letting someone close by that you trust(neighbor/friend) know what and when you're doing this. Practice and "test" the child...have someone call while you're doing a dry run(obviously you don't want the kid to know you're testing him) do short runs first...get gas or milk...see how it goes. Most importantly go over the safety rules...911 and where to meet in case of a fire...have a password so if you do have to send someone to get your child they know it's really okay...and keep away from windows and all doors locked...etc. you don't want to scare the child, but you want to leave as little to chance as possible. At somepoint we have to start trusting our children to make good choices and give them the oppourtunity to do so, and my guess is if you're thinking about doing this, then your kids are ready...otherwise you'd never even bring it up. Our children need to be responsible and we need to let them be (that's part of our job too...that way they know we trust them to make the right choices when we're not there and they are offered drugs or whatever...). goodluck!

i don't know if there is such thing as a legal age. i really believe it depends on the child.

There is no "legal" age. IMO they are definitely old
enough to be left alone.

Hi P.
We had foster kids for a while and the legal age is 14 for being responsible for anyone else and 12 for being left to be responsible for themselves. There was no time limit restriction.I am also not sure that it applies to siblings.Sounds to me like you are AOK to leave them alone legally. This is also a time when kids think they are old enough to bake cookies or .......... so we felt responsible to make sure that those rules were in place so they knew exactly what they were allowed to do.
God bless you and your family
K. SAHM married 39 years -- adult children 38,33,and 19

dont know legally but I do it all the time as long as
you know they can handle it and have the ground rules down

Depending on where you live, it's not the kidnappers you have to worry about. Girls, yes, I would worry about rapists. Boys, I would worry about boredom and getting into trouble. I think the best thing to do is to set ground rules. Try not to make it look like the older child is in charge of the younger, because that will start fights and you do need extreme specific rules for both kids. You need to let them know what they can do and what they can't and why. For example: No lighting the stove or oven. Explain how to use a microwave and why you never leave food in there too long and that only food goes in there and no metal. No friends are allowed to come over without you being there. House rules are very important. Be sure to call or have them call you when they get home from school too.

It depends on the child somewhat but most kids would be okay by 12. I was babysitting by the time I turned 13. My mom started letting me stay home for an hour or so around age 10 (5th grade). At that age I could also go to the park or other places in walking distance with a friend (of course she had to know where I was, who I was with and be home by dark). When I worked for child protective services in NJ a 12 year old staying alone was no problem and between 9-12 was a matter of the child and the situation. Definitely set ground rules and make sure there is someone available in case of emergency (by phone and/or a neighbor).

Hi! I coordinate the Red Cross Babysitting course at our middle school, and the course is geared to 11-15 year olds, so it seems like the Red Cross is not only advocating that 11 year olds can stay at home alone but they can also babysit for other children.

I believe in NY, there is no legal minimum age. Some states have one and others don't. I think the oldest minimum is 12. My kids started staying home for 1/2 hour at 10 years old. My 14 stays home alone the entire day if her school is closed for conferences or something and my school is not. She is 14, she babysits other kids. At 12, if she had a half day, she spent the half day at home alone. You have to know what you are comfortable with and what your kids are comfortable with. Remember that in 4 and 6 years, (really a very short time), they'll be at college, living on their own. IF your kids have never been home alone, especially the 14, it is high time to start, IMO.

AFAIK New York has no legal limit for leaving kids home alone. Most states don't.
There are rules of thumb though that suggest that 12 is the "age of reason" when kids can reasonably be expected to logically understand possible hazards and self-supervise. If your kids are mature for their age, they will be fine on their own for a while.
I cannot agree more with the previous poster who pointed out that our media-induced excessinve fear of child kidnappers and other nuts often does more harm than good. A well prepared child can safely be left alone for a bit and will learn some important self-management skills in the process.

Honestly with all the crazies out there I'd not leave the 12 year alone at home. A 14 year old maybe for a half hour the most. Its a different age. When I was that age I was baby sitting but in todays world you just cant. You hear all the time about kids being abducted.

Legal age is 12. YOu may want to have a phone number handy for the children of someone who can answer any questions they may have, as opposed to 'emergency'; it's a preventative measure, and strong reassurance to the kids that they are not actually alone.

I was babysitting by 12... which means, not only was I left home alone... but left home to care for a toddler. Your kids are definitely ready. Sounds like you trust them enough.

I agree with Kellhy. I am not sure what the right answer is nowadays. I will be interested to see what other folks have to say about this issue.