When to Leave Child Home Alone

I also am interested in this subject. Does anyone know the NE laws? I have an 11 year old, 9 1/2 year old, and 3 1/2 year old. ON occassion I have left them but only if I'm running up the street for a second. For example, one time I had to take my 9 1/2 yo to a b day party about 5 min away and the little one was sleeping, so I left him and the big one so I wouldn't have to wake him, and the big one didn't have to do anything but play his comp. I haven't done it very often at all, but am interested infinding out if it's ok for more often.

I think she'd be fine for a little while by herself. I don't know if I'd let her cook while you're gone-- just to be on the safe side.

It definitely depends on the child :) I've got one 11 yr old I wouldn't trust to babysit a cat and another 11 yr old who I can leave for several hours no problem. I believe that most of the counties in this state feel that 9 yr olds are capable of caring for themselves for a period of time as long as they have access to a phone and a number to reach an adult in case of an emergency. I would have to say the only thing I feel differently about than you is using the oven - I have my own personal issues with that and do not let the kids use the oven/stove until they have had babysitter training with the Red Cross (which includes first aid training) and pass the "mom's extensive stove training class" (my oldest didn't pass my class until she was 15!). I'm not surprised that your hubby doesn't think she is old enough - they always want their little girls to stay little girls :)

The law varies from state to state as well as the counties in the state, call your local county and ask them (example: Dakota County is 8-9 yrs old upto 2 hrs, etc... & then 11 yrs old before you can be responsible for someone younger). After you find out what is legal for your county the next question is if she is ready or not. Well that one is tougher, if your daughter says she would like to try and she is old enough by law than you can start with a 10 minute errand to the post office and work up from there. Get in touch with your Community Ed office; see if they offer a Home Alone Class. Ours did and I signed both my daughter (who is also 9) and myself up for it. The class was great, we walked away both more comfortable with the idea as well as packets of info. It still took me 5 more months to leave her alone, but now we are at the point that I am comfortable with her being home alone for a couple of hours at a time (it helps that I know lots of our neighbors!). I put together a binder for her with a list of all of the phone numbers she may possibly need (all of the neighbors, her grandparents, aunts and uncles as well as local emergency numbers) as well as some of the info we got from the class that has activity ideas, easy snack ideas, etc.... It is a hard decision and it varies by family, just make sure you are following the law and are all comfortable with the idea first and good luck, it is hard to let them grow up!

my mom had 3 kids and she didnt leave any of us home alone until we were 12, including my little brother who is 11 years younger than me, and 9 years younger than our sister.

12 is the age when they are starting to know how things work, and they might even know how to safely make their own meals and things.

HOWEVER, it all really depends on the maturity of your daughter. i dont think 9 is old enough, after all, kids are easy to fool, and someone could come to the door or call on the phone and fool your daughter, where a 12 year old is a bit more wary of those things...
its really up to you, dad, the maturity of your daughter, the consciousness of your neighbors, and the safety of your neighborhood. i would probably be ok with a 9 year old there, if there was a very close neighbor who would be aware of your daughter's being alone there.

anyway, good luck!

We have an 8 1/2 year old son. We've left him home by himself for short periods of time (1 to 1.5 hours) a couple of times. He is very mature for his age, and seems to be able to handle it. We don't do it very often, but sometimes he just wants to be by himself and not go where we need to go.

It completely depends on the child and the state laws. If your child is mature enough to stay at home for an hour and she wants to but your husband isn't ready, try talking with them together and making sure he and she knows all the safety tips if an emergency were to happen. If she can handle and knows what to do in case of an emergency such as a fire or an accident and knows all the proper people to call in case, and she even knows how to cook with the stove, I would say she is old enough to stay at home. Kids nowadays are not as mature as we used to be, I was babysitting at the age of 9 to two kids under the age of two, but I knew cpr and what to do in case of emergencies. The only thing I would suggest is to say she has rules if she were to stay at home such as don't use the stove and no people over unless it is a friend and don't answer the door, things like that. Also consult the department of social services, they would be able to tell you the laws on how old/mature they have to be before you can leave them alone and for how long. In SD they don't have a set age, but they do have to be mature enough. My 9 year old is fine for an hour while I go grocery shopping. But I do have a cell phone if she needs to call me for anything, and she has strict rules on what she can and can't do at home when I am not there. Hope this helps!

Hi T.. I think a lot of it depends on the maturity of your child. Does she know not to answer the door to a stranger, even one with a puppy or kitty? Does she know your cell phone number by heart? Is she a good girl most of the time and doesn't get into trouble when you aren't looking? We couldn't leave our 11-year-old alone until now because she was afraid of being home alone. But now she can do it and is a very good babysitter who takes the responsibility (even staying home alone) very seriously. I know a friend of mine would leave her 9-year-old home alone while shopping or just after school and she was fine. But we also live in a very safe city. (By the way, both girls, the 11-year-old and 9-year-old, love to read and would spend a lot of the time reading.)

As long as you set ground rules for when she is at home alone, she is probably old enough to be left alone for an hour at a time, I would advise putting a snack out for her, maybe getting her to do some chores while she is at home too.

Due to my and my hubby's work schedule, my kids have been home by themselves for a few minutes a day since they were 8 and 6. They would then walk 2 blocks to school. They did fine. I asked a social worker here in WI and there is no law stating what age you can leave kids home alone. I do think it all depends on their maturity level.

It sounds like she's ready to stay home alone for short periods of time, but does she know your cell phone number well enough to dial it when she's scared or something happened? Is there a neighbor she could go to or call? There are classes you can take about staying home alone, they are usually offered through community education or the school district. I would start gradually--maybe 20 minutes and you are in the neighborhood and work your way up to longer periods. I also wouldn't let her eat or cook anything while you are gone. I'm always afraid of fires or choking. My 9 year old stays home for short periods of time (always less than an hour, usually more like 20 minutes) while I am nearby. I usually leave him with a book, the TV or his Nintendo DS and he has instructions to not use any appliances, not to answer the door and only answer the phone for mom, dad, grandma or grandpa (caller id). He also has a list of phone numbers and knows my cell phone. Maybe your husband would get comfortable with it if she took the class first (in our area it's called "Home Alone") and if you started gradually and worked up to an hour.

Hi T.,

I agree with Starr that it has more to do with maturity than age. Do you trust that she would stay calm and know what to do if there was some sort of emergency? If someone came to the door or a stranger called?

Other things to consider is what type of rules there would be when she's home alone--can she use the internet or phone? Is there a designated neighbor she should go to if there is a problem and she can't reach you?

All that being said, trust your gut. If you feel comfortable, leave her alone for one hour to start with, and see how she does.

Hi T.! Just thought I'd chime in on this one as we've had many a conversation about it at my home. First let me say, that most states do have laws stating at which age it's legal to leave a child responsible for themselves or anyone else. For example, in our state of IL, it's 13. Now, I can tell you, coming from a law enforcement family, it's obviously not a law that is strictly enforced, (if at all) but it is on the books nonetheless. Heaven forbid somehthing happened, you don't want that to come back to bite you.

That being said- I think children vary so greatly in maturity level and responsibility that it is a very personal choice. I would not leave my 9 year old boy alone for more than a few minutes...not that he's immature or irresponsible, but to keep his cool in an emergency- I'm not so sure. Girls do mature before boys. In fact I have a 12 year old girl babysitter that I trust implicity.

I just thought I'd chime in with the law in case anyone else hadn't.

You know your children better than anyone. You will make the right decision for you.

T.,

It depends upon where you live andwhat the state has to say about it. WI used to have a law that children under the age of 12 could not be left alone. That law has since changed to the maturity level of the individual child. Just for your own protection (child neligence could mean you lose your child) and hers, check your state laws.

My parents left me home alone when I was 10 years old. I was also responsible for my younger sister who was 5 years old. They had a family buisness and would take my older siblings to help them and left me home with my sister to take care of her and the home responsibilities.

I had to clean the house and also have dinner cooked and ready for them when they got home at 6pm. I had a big family, there was 8 of us total. ANd, my step-dad was stict about making sure the house was cleaned and dinner had to be ready, table set, salad with viniger and oil, sweet tea, cranberry sauce, all had to be done the way he expected it.

I never thought much different when I was a kid about the rules. I even from time to time walked a mile to the grocery store to pick up things if we ran out. And, I had to take my younger sister with me. I look back and am shocked that my parents had me do that, but we were also raised with loads of reponsibility and grew up fast. I didn't have much of a childhood.

But, now I am a mom and i have an 8 year old who is not anything like when I was a kid. Even though I raise her to be independant, she is far from ready to be left home alone.

Keep in mind, had the stove caught on fire when I was a kid, the house would have burned down and I may not have survived. Even though I SEEMED responsibile enough to do those things I did, there are lots of safty things I was not mature minded enough to handle. Kids are kids - don't let them fool you. As much as we'd like to think they can handle themselfs in many things, truth is - when it comes down to it, they Can't!

Be patient - We are the parents and are ultimatly responsible for our kids. Don't leave your kids home to young to make your life easier. Yes, maybe you may get lucky and nothing will happen. But, then again, what if a nosey neighbor calls the cops or social services, or comes by and rapes and/or kills your child. It has happened and you are not invincible to it happening to you. Once it does, you cant take it back.

I agree with the other mom's that said it is more about maturity than age. At nine, age wise, you are a little on the young side, however, some nine year olds are quite mature. I have a 12 year old son, and when he was around nine or ten, I started with him staying home while I would take a walk. Then when we were good with that, he could stay home while I ran to the grocery store. I set down very firm rules, like not answering the phone unless it was me calling. No answering the door, or even letting someone know that you are there. Locking the doors right behind me as I leave. How he should spend his time while I am gone. And if there are any appliances or things that are completely off limit until a parent is home.

I think if you husband is nervous, you should respect him on this, however, you could suggest that she stay home alone while you take a walk together in the evening, and maybe that will make him more comfortable with your daughter having some unsupervised times.

Perhaps someone has posted, but if you are in Ramsey Co, child services (or your school counselor) will have a copy of the policy for children left alone. I'm sure a worker would seriously be happy that you called to ask/know/follow the guidelines. There is an actual sheet of supervision guidelines that many schools/school counselors have to help parents with these decisions and know the laws. It also gives the ages for alone time before/after school, and for older sibs supervising younger ones, too.

T.,
I was a latch key kid from the 5th grade on (so starting about age 9). I think if your daughter is trustworthy and mature, she'll be fine for an hour or two while you're gone. That being said, however, I would not recommend that she cook while you are gone. While home alone around this age, I decided to make ramen noodles. I had been cooking a long time and making ramen for longer, so it should not have been a problem. Somehow, though, I let the water boil away before getting it, and when I lifted the red hot pot off the stove, it exploded, sending liquid metal throughout the kitchen. When I put it in the porcelain sink, it cracked the sink. Somehow I escaped unharmed, but the whole kitchen (in our rental house) needed refurbishing. I'm still traumatized by this event, and will not let my kids cook until they're much older!

I would say that it really depends on the child. Some states don't have a law on how old a child can stay alone. It depends on how responsible the child is. Of coarse it's common sense on the parents part.

Our son is 11 and we started leaving him home alone for a an hour or 2 when he was 9, it really helps with their self confidance and lets them know we can trust them.
But of course it all depends on your child and their level of maturity, we don't let our son cook anything yet and there are a lot of rules he needs to follow or he won't get to stay home alone.
good luck, I know it's a hard one.
J.

In Minnesota the legal age to be left alone is 12. She is too young. I have a son who is 8 1/2 and I wouldn't even think about leaving him at home by himself. It's not just about how responsible they are. Anyone could get in your house and they wouldn't be able to protect themselves.

Trust issues are really big with me because of my childhood. This year my daughter whom is 9 wanted to start to walk to school by herself. Our neighbor whom usually walks with her didn't show up for the week(went out of town) so I let my daughter walk by herself. It is only a block away but it took a lot for me to even let her do that. She has been fine! Now I too am considering letting her stay home alone. I usually take my 3 year old with me to work out and my 9 year old will stay here but my husband is laying down in the other room (3rd shifter). We might try a test run. I agree it is all about your childs' maturity. As long as you lay down ground rules and aren't gone for hours at a time it should be fine. We are going on the Disney Wonder in March and bought 2 way radios and are going to use those to give my DD some alone time on the ship. This too may help us make our decision depending on how this goes.

Hi T. -- When I was 9 my mother would leave me alone to go shopping, etc. Never any cooking involved at that age, and never for more than an hour if she weren't nearby and by a telephone. If my parents went to the neighbor's in the evening they'd leave me alone with a phone number, and that worked too.. (I didn't do that with my 9-year-old daughter because she would have had to take care of a 5-year-old brother.) As long as your daughter feels all right about being left, it sounds fine to me.

Good luck. L.

Hello, I was curious so I found this link with some good solid info
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_legal_age_for_child...
There are also classes put on by either the school districts or community ed that help parents and children prepare to be at home which I plan to take my 9 yr old boy to this winter.
I have left him a few times, mostly to run to the gym and to get a few errands done. 2 hours is kind of my max right now. I also tend to call my neighbor so she knows he is home alone just so she is aware. I don't let him cook, even in the microwave for now, maybe in a year or so. I agree, it all depends on the individual child. But either way I would recommend looking into one of those classes b.c I am sure they will cover some things you might not think of.
K. H.

I don't think maturity level should be the determining factor for how much responsibility to give your child. I think that if you have to ask, then you know she is too young to be left alone at home.

I do not know the laws in Nebraska, but in MN legally kids can stay home alone for up to three hours, at the age of 8; at the three hour point it becomes neglect.

However, just because the law says they can, doesn't mean they're ready. That is completely up to you. Why don't you start out slow, so you can all (your husband) get used to it. Start by you and your husband taking a walk and leaving her at home. Stay in the neighborhood but make sure you're gone for 30 minutes. You can take a short trip to the store for something you forget and leave her at home. You can go get a haircut and leave her at home. Things that you know won't take too long. Eventually your husband will realize that she can do just fine by herself for awhile.

I really think it depends a lot on the child. Some 9 year olds would never be able to handle that while others would do quite fine. You know your child better than anyone. However, if you husband is uneasy, perhaps you have a trusted neighbor that would willing to be available for that hour just in case she would need anything? It may give all of you peace of mind. It is exciting to watch them grow and mature. My oldest is now almost 13 and turning into a woman instead of my little girl. Amazing!

Most 9 year-olds are ready to stay home alone for an hour or so.

At 9 we left our daughter home alone for up to an hour with strict written rules on what she was allowed to do and not allowed to do and all numbers cells and emergency #'s. We only ran to grocery stores, or to drop our 6 year old off at a friends. the better she did over time we have gradually worked up to no more than 2 1/2 or 3 hours alone and we don't go far no more than 10mn away and she is almost 11

Hi T.,

I haven't ready all your other responses, but I believe the law takes care of this one for you.

It's my understanding that children can be left home alone @ 13. I'm not sure how to look this up, but I've always heard around me that it was illegal to leave a kid home alone until 13.

Sorry it's not more positive. 4 years will pass pretty quickly though.

;)

I would set up rules about not cooking, answering the door etc, as well as telling anyone she is home alone, then I would enlist a neighbor (someone she knows and is comfortable with) to test her. I would have the neighbor drop by while I was gone and see if she answers the door. I'm sure she is probably ready to be left for an hour or so during the day while you grocery shop or run errands. I think it is important to get your husband involved in this and find out what rules have to be followed for him to be comfortable. I really think it is important to let children learn to take responsibility for themselves. This sounds like a reasonable way to build your daughter's self-reliance.