Advice on Not Getting Involved in Estrangement

You're right not to get involved. I would do what you have done.
Block the number, don't answer it and don't get involved.
This person is sounding obsessed.

I would be direct with the other family member and ask him/her to work out the issue with your friend and stop trying to put you in the middle of things. I find the phrase not my circus not my monkeys usually gets a laugh but works

Actually, I would tell the person who is trying to reach out to you that you are unsure why they are reaching out to you, as you don't feel like you have a relationship with them. I would tell them that if there is a problem with the other person? You would like to be kept out of it.

I think blocking their number was the right thing to do.
It's a creepy feeling when someone is trying to cozy up to you just so they can try to pump you for information about someone else.
They sound totally obsessed and not someone to be friendly with.

Additional:
If this continues to the point where it's becoming harassment you might want to send them a cease and desist letter.

It would be different if you were separately friends with this person. You are not, so I think your response was appropriate.

I'd stay out of it, as you have done. You have no relationship with the family member, right? You're not friends.

It doesn't matter which of them is "right" in this situation, frankly. Maybe your friend is entirely wrong. But that's immaterial - you aren't involved.

If the family member finds a way around the blocked number and somehow gets your email or sends you a letter to your address, that's pretty aggressive so I would respond by saying, "I'm not involved in a family issue. Please don't contact me again."

Are you likely to run into this family member anywhere? Is this person in your community or does he/she have a kid in the same soccer league or school as your child? If so, and if you are confronted in person, I'd simply say, "I thought the contact must have been a mistake so I blocked the number." If the person persists, stop it and say, "I have no interest in getting involved in any family matter." If the contact is more indirect - like the family member is not referencing the conflict but asking you to go to lunch or something, just say, "No thank you. I'm heavily booked for the foreseeable future." End the discussion.

We have a family member (by marriage) trying to bother my husband about a beef this person had with my husband's brother - a brother who has been dead for 40 years. We blocked him on Facebook but he recently sent a letter - we didn't recognize the return address so my husband opened it and read the first sentence and saw the signature. He handed it to me and said I could read it or not, but he wasn't going to. I did, just to see if there was anything threatening or ominous in it. There isn't but it's quite odd (he's a psychic and always has been, blah blah). I'm holding on to it in case there is future contact and I have to take action. I'm not telling my husband what's in it - he doesn't need that.

BTW it might help others who are searching for answers on issues if your question's title had a reference to its actual topic - like "Not getting involved in family estrangement" or something like that. If we go back over old questions, it's just hard to find the topic we're looking for.

I would probably do the same thing...it sounds like they might be using you to get information about your friend. If they are estranged, I don't know why they care to befriend someone who is close to their family member, but apparently they do!
I'm sure if they can't get a hold of you, they'll move on.

I would never get involved with a third party asking about their relationship with someone else. If she is directly asking questions or continuing to comment, I would tell her that you don't get involved in other people lives. Be honest and straight forward. Consistently tell her. If you don't want to have conversations with her, don't answer the phone. If you do answer, have a reason to not continuing to talk. In this way you are letting her know you're not interested in a friendship. Depending on how well you know her, I might in a nonjudgmental way tell her I wasn't wanting to talk with her.

Updated

I would never get involved with a third party asking about their relationship with someone else. If she is directly asking questions or continuing to comment, I would tell her that you don't get involved in other people lives. Be honest and straight forward. Consistently tell her. If you don't want to have conversations with her, don't answer the phone. If you do answer, have a reason to not continuing to talk. In this way you are letting her know you're not interested in a friendship. Depending on how well you know her, I might in a nonjudgmental way tell her I wasn't wanting to talk with her.

What type of messages is that family member leaving with you? I would not have blocked the person, I would have been curious to know their reason for contacting me and hear them out, but I would not respond or would say something like, "I appreciate you reaching out to me and feeling you can trust me, but I have chosen to not get involved. I wish you and X the best in reconciling and repairing your relationship." Then, don't respond any further. If it's drama, definitely, don't get involved and tune the person out. If the friend is ill or may be having mental issues, however, I think it's a good idea for family members to reach out to their friends, make them aware, and then the friends can see for themselves if there is really a mental issue or if someone is just wanting to smear their friends or cause them harm in some way.

I was watching a show a couple of weeks ago about a woman who met a man, he started grooming her and taking her money, and the daughter could not get through to her mother to see the light. She was too in love with the man, so she started contacting friends of her mother to let them know that this man was preying on her, the friends were now on alert about his behaviors, but by then, it was too late and he had murdered her, but then the friends started recounting times where the woman felt she was being robbed and the husband was becoming very controlling. Things they had put in the back of their minds resurfaced, when they saw the letter from the woman's daughter. My point is, if your friend is suffering from dementia or some other behavior you may have noticed but ignored, having a family member contact you about the issue can remind you and make you realize it's not just you, but others, who are noticing her illness, and convince her to see a doctor for testing and rule out anything serious.

i think you're handling it correctly. hopefully it will be enough.

if the family member becomes more aggressive about contacting you, though, you may have to be more clear. something like 'i'm not comfortable communicating with you. please don't contact me again.' short and sweet, no excuses or efforts to be nice about it.

khairete
S.