Advice for Getting Rid of Bottle and Pacifier

Updated on November 16, 2006
R. asks from Shawnee, KS
26 answers

My son will be two in December and still takes a bottle at bedtime and insists on having his binky throughout the day. He is with an in-home daycare provider five days a week and does not take a bottle at naptime when there, nor does he use his binky other than when he goes down for a nap. However, he has obviously grown attached to having both the binky and bottle when at home and thus far my husband and I have been unable to break him of the habit. We do not let him take the binky outside to play or even let him have it in public really, other than when we're in the car for an extended period of time. He also never has a bottle other than when he's going down for a nap or at bedtime, though lately he's been asking for his bottle at random times throughout the day. We came very close to getting rid of both the bottle and pacifer a few months ago, but suffered a setback when he got sick with a bad ear infection and ended up letting him have them again. (It's definitely a weakness on our part--it's just so easy to give in rather than have a battle of wits with our toddler!) My pediatrician wanted him off the bottle months ago (like six months ago, to be exact), so I'd really like to have this issue tackled before we go back for his two-year check-up in December. Any advice, techniques, and/or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

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K.A.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 2 and a half. She always had to have a bottle at bedtime, which yes, it was a weakness on my part because it was easier than trying to battle bedtime. I finally found that giving her a sippy cup of milk worked. Now I only fill it halfway with water and most times she wakes up with the same amount of water in it. I think she just liked having something in bed with her.

I don't know much about binkeys. Neither of my girls were ever interested in them.

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P.B.

answers from Peoria on

WHEN i WAS READY TO POTTY TRAIN, i STOPPED BUYING PAMPERS. dO THE SSME FOR TE BOTTLES AND SUCKERS. SLOWLY HID THEM AND THROW THEM AWAY AND GET A SIPPY CUP

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L.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Please let me know if you get a good answer for this, my grandson is 27 months old and still wants the binky-bottle has been gone for a long time, but we just can't get rid of the bink-he is extremely attached to it!

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S.T.

answers from Springfield on

hi R., i didn't take the time to read all the responses, so i don't know if u have heard this suggestion yet. it's been 9 yrs since i had to deal with a toddler, so i am sure there lots of other opptions out there now. but i will never forget how i got my son off the bottle. i was lucky enough that my son started to refuse the pacifier at 3 monthes, so i can't help u there, unless u use the same system. one night when it was time to go to bed, as we were walking to the bedroom, he asked for the 'bah-bah'. i simply took him by the trashcan and tossed in the bottle. and told him 'no more bah-bah. it's gone, in the trash! believe it or not this worked! he accepted it, and went to bed with nothing mmore than a wimper. the next couple of nights when he asked for it, i just reminded him it was gone, and he was surpisingly fine with it. and went to bed just as easy as the first night. give it try. let me know if it works, please! :)

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C.R.

answers from Tulsa on

I too had the same issue with my son that is now 29 mos old. He was 25 months before I got him off the bottle and that was because he was sick with major ear problems for the first 2 years of his life. The dr's did tell me that him sucking on his bottle would relieve the ear pain so that was a draw back of letting him keep his bottle. My oldest son stopped taking hisbottle at 10 months so this was unusual for me. At 25 months he was off the bottle. And it was pretty easy when we FINALLY PUT OUR FOOT DOWN about it.

Now the binkie-he still takes the binkie which I hate and last Monday I decided I was going to take the advice of some other mothers and clip the tip-I did just that and when he put it in his mouth he said "momma binkie broke" he contiued to say that for 2 days, but the activity with the binkie has decreased-it's almost as though he sees that there isn't really much use out of it. 2 days later i cute it some more and then this past saturday i cute it even more-i don't know how he is hanging out to it. now he says "momma binkie broke fix it" its kinda cute-lol! i tell him i can't fix it because his teeth are making it do that and now that he is a big boy and has teeth he doesn't need the binkie. he only uses it to go to sleep-i am in hopes we will be binkie free within the next week :)
the clip -n- snip method does work just not as quick as some people say!
best of luck to you!

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

My son is 2 now and he was off the bottle before he was a year old. The way I did it was buy the sippy cups that say transitional or get the ones with the rubber top so he thinks it's still a bottle but hopefully will learn it's a sippy cup.

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R.K.

answers from Rockford on

My son was 20 months when we finally got rid of his pacifier. I just wanted to keep on giving in too, but I decided enough was enough. That pacifier was just something he was attatched to, and I needed to realize it was ok for him to cry about it. We took his away in the morning one day, and never gave it back. He was actually ok. He whined a little bit. Night-time was hard. He screamed and screamed....but I never gave in. The second night he cried a little bit, and the third night, he was absolutely fine. It's hard to make a big change in your child's life because I think you dont want to upset them or scare them...but the bottle and pacifier aren't going to help him. They do nothing good for him right now...he will be ok. I hated hearing my son cry the way he did...like his feelings were SO hurt...but I was strong and it was like nothing even happened when it was over. I never put them back in sight. They were thrown away to take away MY temptation to give them back. Just be strong. He isn't going to be mad at you very long. Maybe if he is old enough to understand, you can tell him the binkies need to go, there are other little babies who need them and see if he is willing to share them and put them in a bag or something to "pretend" send them away. Once it's over, you will feel so good that you were strong! :)

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C.C.

answers from Springfield on

This one is easy. Look up Binky/Bottle Fairy. In short, its like the tooth fairy. Baby places bottles/binkys in small box and fairy comes and takes them to babies who need them and replaces with awesome gift. When and if he asks for them after, answer simply that they have moved on to babies who need them and he is no longer a baby, but now a big boy. Make sure you go all out on the packaging. Let me know this worked for you.

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Generally in parenting I think it best to follow your gut instinct (as you did when your son was sick). I would not be worried at all by your doctor's somewhat arbitrary recommendation that you're trying to accomplish before your son's 2 year check up. Now that my children are older, I realize that in the grand scheme of things this does not matter. Why not let him have his pacifier and bottle when he wants them? If it gives him comfort why not? If he is in day care all day, why wouldn't you want him to have something that can comfort him when you are not there? Sucking is so impt. to little ones and if a pacifier and bottle comfort him--great. I know when I sit down at night, I need my special chair. And I often use a special blanket when reading in the winter. And I like a special coffee cup. These are grown up comforts to me. So I say, don't worry about it. And certainly don't worry what anyone else says to you, especially your doctor. Let him worry about the medical concerns that he was trained for. Most doctor's give opinions in other areas. But consider his opinion as you would anyone elses. Good luck. Enjoy your son & give him as much love as you can possibly give!

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A.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I am going to be very blunt with you! Your son is playing you like a fiddle. Just throw them away and you won't have any more excuses. The day my daughter turned one i threw everything away. It took three days of crying and sleepless nights but she got used to it. When she realized that there was not one thing in the house or hidden anywhere she gave up! You are only hurting your son by letting have a bottle at night time. You will end up rotting his teeth and gums! I hope that I have not upset you. Sometimes being blunt seems to work. Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Bloomington on

My daughter was the same way, she did great at daycare without her bottle but she wanted it at home! I agree with those who say just throw them away or put them away for good. My daughter asked for them for about a day, and they were soon forgotten. Start a new routine at naptime (a book, a massage, anything!) and that will get your son to forget the bottle and the binky!

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L.B.

answers from Springfield on

I know this can be so hard... My daughters both had there bottles until they were two and then we just started giving them sippy cups it was hard but they do adjust it takes time but once you take it away DO NOT give it back it shows them inconsistance.. We told them they were a big kid and bottles were for babies we started potty training them at this time and got them ready for a big girl bed (toddler bed) I really think once you make a big deal out of him being a big boy he will feed on that... The pacifier might be a little more difficult..Take one thing away at sepparate times and gradually get into the big boy scene with him.. But be consistant do not give in..... Good luck.. just remember they are this age only once....

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

The hardest part of this is going to be on your part for letting him scream it out. If he is used to not having these items at daycare, then he is strictly using the fact that you give in to his tantrums.

One of the best possible solutions: Give them to him, and tell him to throw them in the trash. When he then asks for them you can tell him they are all gone. If he won't throw them away, then you need to do it right in front of him so that he sees they are going into the trash.

He is going to throw fits and have tantrums. I know how hard it is to face those and deal with it... Just walk away and let him scream it out. Consistancy is the best answer. Once you make the move. Do not give in and go back.

I hope this helps, good luck

Kat

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Get rid of the pacifiers by cutting the ends off of them, hand them to your child and ask what he thinks you should do with them? (ie: throw them away!) Binky's all gone. We did this with our child. It worked just fine. When he asked for them, we just told him that they broke and he threw them out. As for the bottle, you should replace it with a cup with a straw. You are most likely doing damage to your child's teeth and possibly even speech by continuing to let him have both pacifier and bottle. Good luck, it won't be easy, just remember it is what's best for your child.

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L.S.

answers from Springfield on

I am currently going through the same thing you are. My son is almost 17 mos. old and I can't seem to get him to let go of his bottle. I am so thankful that he never got attached to a binky so I only have the bottle to get rid of. I've tried about 3 different kinds of sippy cups and he will pick it up and toss it off the side of his highchair or try to see if it will leak first, then throw it. There've been a few times I've tried to replace his bottle at naptime or bedtime with a sippy cup, and he will just scream until I give in. I wish you luck with your son and hope we both can get them off the bottle soon.

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E.A.

answers from St. Louis on

jup its the hardest on you. We just packed all the bottles away from my first born. He cried for about 2 days and then forgot about it.
Just be strong and you will get there

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

You have got to put your foot down on this! You are letting him be in charge and he is not you and your husband are. If he is not getting a bottle at the daycare, then he will be fine without one at home. See he knows that the daycare will not give in and give him one. It is not going to be easy but you have to do it. Tell him that he is a big boy now and big boys don't need bottles, I would go for getting rid of the bottle first let him settle in for that and then go for the binky too. Get rid of all the bottles and maybe have him help you. If they are gone he will know they are gone and you will not be tempted either. Take him with you and go pick out some neat sippy cups, let him pick. Let him have a drink before nap time and bed but don't put him to bed with the cup maybe let him drink it while you are reading him a bed time story or something. I would just go about it that he is a big boy now and not a baby so it is time for the bottle to go bye bye. I would do the same procedure with the binky as well, not at the same time though. Just have him throw it away himself and then you will not be tempted to give it to him either rather than just putting it up.

Good luck! S. :)

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L.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We had the almost same problem (minus the pacifier). My son is the same age, he'll be 2 in December as well and he would take sippy cups at daycare but not at home, wouldn't even look at it because he knew he would get a bottle. He was on a bottle for all his liquids and I worried about him not getting enough liquid if we didn't give him his bottle. We eventually only gave him what he wanted in a sippy cup at his bedtime when he was already tired and he didn't seem to notice it wasn't in a bottle. He drank all of it from the cup and pretty fast and after that he would use sippy cups and seemed to forget about the bottle. Mind you we went also tried 10 different sippy cups and found the ones from NUBY worked the best, they are 2 for 2$ or so at Walgreens. Good LUCK!! Email me if you need more pep talk, you can do it!!

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S.G.

answers from Springfield on

Sorry, but the habits are ours! Each child is different. When my oldest son was 1,within the week the bottle and the binky were gone. Easily! My second son let the bottle go, later on.(12-18 m.o.) All his drinks were given to him in a sippy cup sitting in his high chair. The binky was a bit more challenging!(we missed the window....earlier) Boy, was he attached to them. We only let him have the bink in bed, which helped. I've never heard of the cutting of a pacifier to help out. Being "old school", I'd be afraid of a small pc. causing him to choke. (of course you could come up with a "Johnny Cochran" rhyme~ "if it's broke, you might choke"!!! LOL) The solution for us was to 1. quit buying new ones as the old ones wore out(just like nipples on a bottle) 2. as the old ones got thrown out, that was it! We told him he was on his last one...and when it got gummy, out it went into the trash. We also emphasized the whole "big boy" thing~always a plus!

Your son will be fine, and so will you! It will be onto the next hurdle of development!!! Good Luck!
As the other ladies have said:BE CONSISTANT IN ALL YOU DO WITH KIDS!!!

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M.G.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi R.

My 16 month old just got bottle broken 2 1/2 weeks ago. He only got his bottle at naps and bedtime for the eveningas well. I just started filling his sippy cups with milk and giving that too him at naptime. It seemed to work. Then a couple of weeks ago his dad put him down for the night with a sippy instead of the bottle and he didn't cry for it. I have been giving him his sippy all the time now. I hid all his bottles and he hasn't asked for one since. We went Wal-Mart and let him pick out 4 new sippy cups. He likes to be rewarded for being a big boy.

I wish I could help you with the binki, but I'm still struggling with that one myself lol.

Good Luck

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K.W.

answers from Bloomington on

I was lucky enough to have a daughter that never cared for a pacifier, and wanted to switch from a bottle to a cup. However, both of my sister's son's had issues with getting off the bottle and pacifier. They ended up buying cups at Wal-Mart that have a soft tip, like that of a bottle. It helped with the transition a lot. As far as the pacifier, I believe they just hid all of them and dealt with the temper tantrums. It can be very trying, and you will be temped to give in, but you cannot give in. You are the parent, and they are the child. This is not something that they will remember all their lives, in fact, after a month or so they won't remember it anyway. So, just be tough, stand your ground, and be patient with your son. I know that you and your husband can do it! Good Luck!

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L.F.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I agree with Candy C. If you don't want to do it that way you can always taper off starting with having them at certain times and just at home or in the car. I did this with mine and everytime a bottle or binky got lost (accidently or on purpose) we'd look and when we couldn't find it offer a sippy cup in it's place. Weaning this way took about 2 or 3 months but it was alot less stressful on everyone. Good Luck, alot depends on your patience and whether or not you want to be gentle or tough about it.
L. (mom of 3)

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S.

answers from Peoria on

Cold turkey seemed to work best for my kids. It would be a rough 3-4 days at the times that they were used to having the bottle/pacifier. Just do something else to occupy them - like drink a CUP of milk, brush teeth, then read a story. Be sure to brag on how BIG he is being. I do agree with your pediatrian that it's harder to wean them the older they get.

Another thing that I would recommend - also worked with all my kids (5) - find an older person that is familiar with reading the almanac. When the sign in in the bowels, going DOWN to the legs, is the best time to wean from a bottle. I don't know the particulars here, other than it's supposed to cause less stomach upset, I would guess from nerves?? My grandfather followed the almanac on alot of things and it's surprising how well it worked. He would plant crops and garden by the moon signs, and even picked the dates that my kids would be born (doctors missed all the dates)!

So, find an almanac, pick the date, then go cold turkey. Most of my kids made the bottle to cup transition over-night; the pacifier was a little more nerve-wracking (for me), but 3-4 days solved that.

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A.L.

answers from Kansas City on

R.:

We got lucky with the pacifier, as our son showed little interest around 5 months, so we just made it "disappear". We began weaning him off the bottle at 11 months, so he would be off of it by his first birthday. It sounds like Jack is pulling the strings on this one, and it is working :-). You might want to try to cut down a little every few days. Only at naps, then only at night, then only his paci at night and then.....he is a big boy and no more paci or bottle! Replace his "need" at nap with something else (maybe a stuffed animal)You have to be consistent (and deal with a few tears), or will continue (and be at risk for more ear infection and possible teeth/speech problems). Good luck!

A.

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M.H.

answers from Tulsa on

OK momma you run the show. You are doing him no favors by letting him not progress. In fact you can potentially be hurting him.

You will be suprised how well they WILL adapt once they know you mean business and won't cave in. You are probably past the point of slowly weaning him off both because he is now at the point where the bink can start doing damage to his teeth and mouth.

It may be a couple brutal nights but I would set a goal. First the bottle. You are using that as an aid to get him down it sounds like. Get a routine, bath, p.j.'s, ect.. and say good night, give him a kiss and put him in bed. He will probably cry and it is VERY unnerving but IT WILL NOT HURT HIM!! Let him cry until he goes to sleep. It might take hours, but he will go down and he'll be fine. (did it w/ both `of mine--`one which has a heart defect and worked great) IF YOU GO IN THERE THE WHOLE DEAL IS BLOWN!! He will cry even longer because he knows you will come in there. It make take a couple nights but you will be SHOCKED how quick he will just go down.

I personally would do that for a week, ONLY letting him have his bink @ bedtime, then either cut the end of the bink off or just throw it away. It will be a struggle again but WELL worth it. (or take the bink away @ same time as bottle...depends on your nerves :-).

This sounds a little "Nanny 911", but it truly works, because it shows them crying, whining, and fits do not get rewarded. My friends thought I was crazy and tried it on their daughter and was so excited when it worked.

I am NO expert of course, just my 2 little cents. I don't have the patience to have things drawn out! ;-O

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B.F.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi R.! I feel your frustration! Toddler battles are so hard to take. I would suggest talking to your son and telling him that it is time to say goodbye to the bottles. Then throw them out -- all of them! I know this sounds harsh, and believe me, it will not be easy to do, but it will work. If the bottles no longer exist in your house you don't have to worry about giving in. You might want to get rid of one thing at a time, though, so it is not too overwhelming for him (and you!). You might try replacing his pacifier with a special stuffed animal or lovey that he gets to pick out himself. That way he has some control over the situation. You will likely have a few rough days, but it will be worth it in the end. I hope this helps, and I am sending positive thoughts your way!!

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