How to Break Away from the Binkie........

Updated on May 27, 2007
H.P. asks from Gresham, OR
16 answers

My son is 2 1/2 and still sleeps w/ his binkie. (I know....I know...) I've noticed that over the past 3-4 weeks it seems he is becoming more and more attached to it. I still only allow him to have it when he is in his bed for nap or night time. But in the past few weeks he is asking for it all the time, actually whining for it all the time. When he is playing with his cars, coloring, in the car, pretty much any time at all and he is whining for it. My husband and I have been great and stick to our guns and only allow it in his bed. But then he says he wants to go to bed all the time too.

Currently, my mom is our day care provider and I know for sure she is not so great w/ keeping it in his bed when he is there, she allows it on the couch snuggling when he wakes up and when he starts to get tired before nap and bed she allows him to have it before he actually gets in bed.

It comes down to the fact that WE NEED TO GET THESE THINGS OUT OF OUR HOUSE NOW!

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to do it? With my daughter it was easy, the new baby (her baby brother) now needed the binkie and she happily gave them to him without looking back. I know that my strong willed, independent, and hard headed son will not be so easy. LOL. Any ideas and personal stories would be ever so greatly appreciated!

Thank you!
H. P.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter was really good about it to, but my mom had an interesting method she used with my older brother. When she felt like he was old enough and needed to be weaned from the binkie, she told him a couple of days in advance that he was going to need to say goodbye to the binkie, or however you want to word it. And then on garbage day she walked with him out to the garbage can and had him throw it away. And then when he would ask for it she would remind him that they had to say goodbye. It seems like no matter how you do it, it will be hard on him. Good luck and I hope you find something that works.
A.

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R.H.

answers from Spokane on

Hi H.. A friend of mine told me a trick for breaking the binky habit. She said that every couple of weeks to cut a tiny bit off of the tip of the binky. Eventually there won't be much to latch onto. Usually by that time they will lose interest because it's not easy to suck on. I guess it's worth trying.

On the show Super Nanny there was a little girl about your son's age that was still using a binky. She used the idea of a "binky fairy" that needs binkys for all the new babies. She had the little girl help gather all her binkys up and put them in a paper bag w/handles (like a cheap gift bag). They attached the bag to the branch of a tree and told the girl that the "binky fairy" would come and get the binkys and leave a special gift for her in return. The next day they brought the girl outside and the binkys were no longer in the tree but her special gift was. It was a neat idea and it worked great for the little girl. I think this one seems like it would be more fun for him. A reward for giving up his binky.

I hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!

R.

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J.O.

answers from Portland on

H.,
When my daughter was around that age, we decided to cut the nipple off and make a plaque of it. I painted a small peice of wood from the craft store in her favourite color and hot glued the binky to it and hung it up in her room. She still could see it and have it around, but she didn't mind not sucking on it anymore. Make if a lot of fun for him and remind him that he is getting to be a big boy and it's time to hang it up. Good luck.

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K.

answers from Portland on

I too have heard about cutting the tip off gradually. But I think of it like having a cigarette but no lighter. The problem is still there. After many years of nanny experience myself I can safely say that the "binkie fairy" is the way to go. You treat it just like the tooth fairy. It is something that is happening because he is a "big boy" now. Babies need binkies and maybe someday he will see another baby with his old binkie. He helps gather them up (or not either way works) and in exchange he gets a new big boy toy. It can be a little hard sometimes. If he has a hard time just remember you are doing it for his own good. There are many things he won't like you doing but unfortunatly it's your job as mom to look out for him. He will love playing with his new toy and kids like the idea of fairy tales being real too. Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

My son is also 2 1/2 and still has binkies. Actually, at least 2 at a time. It started with him holding our finger through his crib to sleep and then, when he wouldnt attach to a stuffy/blanki I brilliantly thought that a bink (latex one) feels kinda like skin and so it was that he used a bink to hold to go to sleep and one to suck on. The problem came when we realised that we couldnt just take away his binks but also his security item (I know, good one mom!). After talking to his dentist who did encourage getting rid of them but when I asked for an explanation of the effects I was shocked at how small and insignificant they were (although she made it sound huge). I thought, for the possiblility of that (which might happen anyway) I would take away my childs comforter? I decided to leave it for a while. We have a 10 month old who also has a bink and I think we will get rid of them together, maybe on his 3rd birthday? I really wouldnt worry about it especially if its only for bedtime (the damage is usually with those that live with one in). My son especially wants them when he is not feeling well or gets an ouch for comfort and why not? Good luck, Jen

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T.M.

answers from Portland on

I saw this really cute thing on Nanny 911 : )
The nanny told the child they were getting too old for the binky, and there were other babies who needed binkys, so the binky fairy comes to gather up all the binkys and deliver them to other babies who need them more. The child and parents gather up all the binkys in the house, put them into a nice colorful gift bag, and hang them in a tree in the yard for the binky fairy to come get. The binky fairy comes in the night and takes the binkys and leaves the gift bag full of new little toys and treats for the child to find in the morning.
It totally worked for the child on Nanny 911, I don't know how old they were though (maybe older than 2.5), and if you think your son is old enough for that to work on...
Good luck! : )

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R.G.

answers from Seattle on

Oh have I been in your shoes. My son was 3, yes 3, when we finally got rid of his binky (incidientially, I found out from my mom that I was almost 5 before I would let mine go!). He was permanently attached to the thing, and wouldn't not have it for his life. We're talking 3 hour tantrums because he didn't have his binky. So one day, I said "I've had enough" and just took them. I told him that his binkies were all done visiting him, because they really missed their mommy so they were going to go back home. Much to my surprise he said "Oh, well, ok!" and that was it. No more wailing, holering or argument from him. I was totally in shock. The trick to ridding the binky is to find something that he's ok with doing. Relate the binky's "story" to something he can see. Some people use the binky fairy, I used the binky mommy. There was about two weeks there when he would ask for it on occasion, and I would tell him "Remember, binky went home to it's mommy" and he would say "oh yeah!" and that was it.

Before we did that, I tried to cut the tip of it off, but honestly that didn't do anything but make him extroadinarily angry because it didn't have suction anymore. Some kids this works for, but my son couldn't be fooled and wanted his binkie in tact!

I wish you luck in whichever option you choose. Sometimes it's really hard to break that habit. I'm sure you'll find some way to do so. :)

~Beka

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L.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi H.!
We had the same problem with our son...but he was three. I finally had to do some 'tough love'. Easter was coming and I used the Easter Bunny as my 'scapegoat'. I explained that he was coming to leave toys and goodies for a big boy and that he was collecting binkies for all the new babies. We went around the house and collected all the binkies and left them for EB in a big bowl on the table. The next morning the binkies were gone and he was left with a basket of goodies. That afternoon was tough for nap, but we kept telling him that the EB took them and there were no more binkies. He was fine after that. We had another baby a year later and when we went to Alpenrose for the Easter egg hunt he kept asking if the EB was going to take his binkies too! I explained that baby brother WAS still a baby and that maybe next year the EB would take his too. A quirky family tradition has begun.... good luck!

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E.H.

answers from Anchorage on

I went cold turkey, honestly, but then I also did it at 14mo...My son was doing what yours is, crying for it, or until he got it, so I went to only in the crib at about 11 mo. Then I started catching him around the house with one, and it turned out he was tossing it out of the crib into his toy box and getting it later, so I called it quits. Threw them all out. The first night was a little rough, and if you try the same method it will probably even more rough because yours has had it longer. I told him it was bed time, put him down, rubbed his back for a minute and walked away. He cried himself to sleep an hour later. Heart breaking I know, but it worked. He woke once during the night, I went in laid him down, rubbed his back and told him it was still bed time and left. He cried off and on for 15 minutes and was out for the rest of the night. The 2nd night was far easier. He only cried for about 7 minutes and was out. He woke again in the night but after laying him down, rubbing his back and leaving, he was out 2 minutes later. He cried a few minutes for the following 2-3 nights, but slept through the night, and now goes down no problem. It's a battle of wills - and that's ALL it. You give him the bink because you don't want to hear the screaming anymore. Suffer for one, maybe two night, and then you win for good with the bink!
Hope this helps!!
E.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I, too, don't make decisions based on what is expected by others. I agree that if you don't mind if he has his binky then you don't need to worry about it. I doubt that any kid started school with his binky. lol

But if you want to break the habit I think it has to be done cold turkey. Does he have anything else, like a blanket, that is security for him? He has to have a security object. My grandson adopted a stuffed duck for his after he lost his binky.

Here are some ideas that I've heard. To put all of his binkies in a sack or box and say that you want to give these binkies to a really small baby who needs them. He's a big boy now. Talk about doing this and enlist his help in gathering them up and packaging them. It's a variation of what worked with your daughter. Then take them out of the house and do what ever you want with them.
(I have found that thrift and resale stores will not accept them.)

You could have a going away party for them.

You could have him help you throw them away after a few days build up. Emphasize that he's a big boy now. You know it's hard to give up your binky but it's necessary so that your teeth grow in straight.

If he hasn't had his first dental visit you could take him to the dentist and enlist the dentist's help in removing the binkies.

You could tell him that all binkies have to be out of the house by a certain date and then take them out of the house on that date. If he's teary and wants them back, hold him and tell him you know that he misses his binky. It's OK to cry.

If he doesn't already have a lovey be sure to provide a chance for him to find another one. He or you might choose one from the house as my daughter did. HIs mother just kept giving the duck to him instead of the binky when he went to bed and it became his lovey. Or, perhaps trade the binkies for something else new. He could pick the something else. Take him to the store and tell him he can pick out a stuffed animal or one of those small blankets with a stuffed animal head attached to it to take to bed since he won't have the binky anymore. That you understand that he needs something to help him get to sleep and this can be that something now that the binky is gone.

Whatever you decide to do be sure to include your son in it. The binky is important to him and can't just disappear. He will accept it better if he's involved. He'll still want it back for awhile. There will be a griefing period.

And be sure that you get all the binkies from his grandmother's house. Enlist her support in getting rid of the binkies. If she "sneaks" them in once they're gone from your house, he'll be confused. As it is now with her connecting the binkie to bed time it's probably not so confusing because it's close enough to what you do.

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R.G.

answers from Eugene on

A bit tough, but when my son was 1, the binkies and bottles disappeared and were replaced with a sippy cup...Out of sight, out of mind. We never looked back. The binky is not the ruler of your universe and your son will get over it. Try a reward system...earning a sticker for being able to go without it for a certain amount of time..

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C.F.

answers from Spokane on

My daughter just turned one and uses a binkie. When I am ready to wean her off of it I am going to try cutting the tip of it off. Just enough so she realizes it's not fun to have anymore. I under stand how they become a security blanket for them. This way it won't be as tragic as cutting them off cold turkey. If you do try this let me know how it goes.
C.

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E.V.

answers from Seattle on

My mom tells me that I was a binkie baby, too, and the way that she got rid of them was that they just one day disappeared from our house. If you can't find a binkie, you certainly can't have one! LOL. I know it will probably be hard, he will cry and whine for them, but I am sure he will get over it. And it will be better for him in the long run.

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

Well there is the cut and dry method, throw them away!
He might fuss for a while but can't last forever.

For my daughter we just cut the tips of the binkies off, and then she couldn't suck on them at all once she saw that, she was no longer interested. She was 2 1/2 as well. The big thing w/ her was that she bit her binkies and they had holes in them, and I wasn't about to buy her anymore.

It is all up to you on how long you want to make it last. There might be some other creative ways to get him to say good bye to the binkie, just a matter of how much time and effort you want to put into.

I have one last baby on the binkie so I'll be back down that road again soon.
Good luck

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J.L.

answers from Portland on

H.,

I would not worry about it too much right now. Really. I know that there are a lot of moms out there that will tell you otherwise, but unless it is a factor in his dental future, don't stress it.

My advice:

1. Don't let him have one outside of bed. If he wants one, then tell him that it must me time for bed....

2. Don't give your mother-n -law one. Period. Tell your son that it is only for bed time with you.

My son is 3 1/2. These are the rule we have in place for him now and he is responding very well to it all. Again, I wouldn't worry too much about anything right now. You are right on track; maybe even ahead of the track!

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C.R.

answers from Medford on

my daughter alana is almost 6 .. she was so attached to her bikie .. i had to have stashes in case it was lost and god forbid she lose t in the car..:) but at around the age of 3 .. we jus stopped giving it to her and at first she was very very mad at us .. but it wasnt long before she considered herself a "big girl" without it .. and she jus kinna let it go... but when she sees my newest daughter a month and a week old with hers .. she remembers her and talks about it .. but jus says shes a big girl without... so if it doesnt bother you as much as it seems to bother others.. i remember everyone had something to say about it... jus let him be until your ready to really get rid of them and listen to the tantrum to follow ... it might take a few weeks give or take ... good luck :).. also i was just reading about you and noticed your a pediatric nurse any ideas on my help me.. im the one with the one month ols stuffy nose ...any feedback or any advice would be great .. thanks :)

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