Advice About a Makeup Situation

Updated on January 21, 2009
K.W. asks from Upland, CA
63 answers

I am 24 years old and have been married five years. My husband has issues with makeup. not because of how it makes me look or appear to other people but because he is a !00% all natural kind of guy, organic food...home remedies etc. When i wear makeup it isn't much and isn't often at all but he has an issue with it, because of his whole "all natural" thing. Does anyone think that since I dont wear makeup often then he shouldn't complain or does anyone think that since he has an all natural attitude he is in the right for having an issue with it.

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So What Happened?

hey everyone.first i want to thank everyone for your responses. my husband read all of them and i think he understands, he hasnt complained lately.LOL. thank again

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V.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I see you have tons of responses already but I want to chime in too.

Maybe he thinks you are beautiful already and don't need make up.

Just a thought.

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think many of the ladies gave some great advice, but just wanted to add Physicians Formula has a great line of organic make-up, very subtle and not too expensive.

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L.P.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

There are so many new products out now that are good for you as well as look good on you. Try Jane Iredale her line is pricy but it was formulated and she started her company to be healing and beneficial. Aveda has good products as well. Good luck and happy shopping!

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've been married for 20 years. Remember these words " I respect that you don't like it but in this instance we have a difference of opinion. When you do something I don't care for I respect your choice, please respect mine." I use it as required and it helps!

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy,
This is a topic I love; being organic and makeup! I was a professional makeup artist for over 12 years and nearly 8 years ago started reading about chemicals in everything! I always fantasized about doing my professional makeup career using natural and organic products. Now I have a natural mothering shop in Fullerton, Belly Sprout, which sells cloth diapers, baby carriers and non-toxic products for baby, mama and child. In August I added our Beauty Bar which has products that I believe in and have researched to be SAFER alternatives to mass market lines. I carry Lavera, Afterglow, Primavera and 100%PURE. I wanted to be able to bring safer products, but also the expertise to help moms go green.

I am a GREEN, GREEN mama! I had a homebirth, did not vaccinate, eat ALL organic and unprocessed, use homeopaths, extend breast-feed, use NO chemicals in the home, etc. I have struggled with cosmetics because I have read the research and it is shocking. But I also believe, we as women, have used cosmetics for centuries, and we can continue to do so by using better alternatives. There shouldn't be any reason we can't have fun while being green!

I agree with your husbands concern, but both of you should be able to meet on common grounds. You like to wear makeup, he doesn't like the toxins! You should then go to him and show him your healthier alternatives. It is in my experience that however green a mama is, most of us have and will continue to use cosmetics. Let's just do the research, protect ourselves but still feel glamorous and pretty!

I love the Safe Cosmetics database, but be warned. I have had a few vendors complain that the research is not completely accurate. When I choose products I look for key ingredients and make sure that they are an ethical company. Thus, the products I have for my store fit this criteria.

The biggest scam is BARE ESSENTIALS! Do not buy it! It has Bismuth Oxychloride and is a skin irritant. I use Afterglow because they use organic ingredients, use a ton of anti-oxidants and NO Bismuth! Not all natural products are created equal, so I am very particular about health food store products as well. Besides, the guy selling you vitamins can't correctly match your skin tone!

Please check out my blogs on Green Beauty at www.bellysprout.com. You (and your husband!!) can contact me with any questions!

I actually have to go to our Beauty Bar event today; we do facials and makeup for our customers every few months!!

Good luck,
C.

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N.S.

answers from San Diego on

Dear Kathy,

Wow! He is certainly entitled to his opinion about this, however, he is not entitled to make decisions for you about the make up you wear........You are an equal adult in this relationship.

I would listen to and respect his views, but sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Stand up for yourself. You don't want your daughter growing up thinking that the man she marries will make all the decisions for her.

Best wishes

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It's HIS issue. You are an individual.... and he should respect the individuality of his wife...of a woman... of a woman's right to choose.

Then why don't you wear "organic" make-up? There are many at the natural food stores.

Egad, he sounds like a real purist... i guess he goes around without deodorant or without shaving or without taking showers everyday since this "wastes" water... and does he also wear organic clothing made with recyclable materials or fibers???? And I assume he uses organic toothpaste and soap and shampoos? And does he bicycle around instead of driving a car, or does he take the bus everywhere? Does he grow his own food, and save water by collecting the rain in barrels outside? What about his use of toilet paper and the furniture? Are these made out of recyclable "green" materials? Does he compost and garden his own food too?

The thing is, he has to walk the talk if he is SO into "natural" things. But he can't "force" his wife to "not" wear make-up. Tell him your make-up is organic...and go get some. Even Amazon.com has some.
Here's some links for you:
http://www.hairstyle-blog.com/organic-cosmetics-news.html
http://www.hairstyle-blog.com/aveda-founder-announces-org...

"Organic & natural" does not mean sloppy and stinky and unshaven and un-kept. If a woman wants to put on make-up, even the best of the best "all natural" experts in the field wear make-up!

C'mon... nothing wrong with being "green" and organic and natural....that is great. But to nag and belittle his wife over make-up is so trite and small minded.

He seems to be more concerned about the "image" HE imagines a "natural" person should be, than actually being it.

In it's most basic sense.. I think he is being selfish to expect you to not be a woman in the way you want to express yourself.

Good luck,
Susan

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V.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey Kathy,
I think if your husband has a problem with makeup, then HE shouldn't wear any. You are his wife, not his child. :)
blessings to you,
V.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Kathy,
I am a Mary Kay consultant and as I read the other comments no one mentions that wearing makeup and using cosmetic products is actually good for your skin. Proper skin cleansing, hydration and moisturization combined with a foundation product will protect your skin from harmful UVA and UVB rays, free radicals and pollution. Using cosmetic products helps prevent skin damage. Color cosemetics also helps a womens self esteem so using color products could be mentally healthy as well. When a women feels like she looks good, she walks a little taller and feels better and others can tell. Finally, this one isn't right but it is true, women who wear makeup and present a polished appearance get paid more in the work place. All natural is great, and Mary Kay has a foundation and color mineral powder line that is fabulous if you want to check it out, but using cosmetics is a bigger issue than just the actual products that you choose. Your husband loves you. Let him know why using these products is important to you and how they make you feel. You are what is important to him. Maybe you can find products that both of you can appreciate or maybe after he knows your feeling he will step out of the issue. FYI - my husband hates makeup too so I am always careful of what lipcolor I wear when we go out! It is too funny.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Wow! Since you are writing in about it you must feel you are entitled to wear make up and want to. I can only suggest he realize that this is something that makes you happy and respect it. Personally, I would ask him to provide a reason why you should wear it not just his personal reasons. Is it bad for your health? Will he be willing to accept the organic make up as suggested or it a matter that he likes the natural look? You will just have to stand up to your personal needs. Otherwise you are placing his needs and desires before yours. Hope that helps.

C.

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M.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

He has no right to tell you not to wear makeup. He is being very controlling. He can be all-natural, but he has no right to force it on you. I suggest that you wear it anyway since you do not do it often. See if you can find natural products, like bare minerals and maybe there will be some mascaras and lipsticks or lip glosses you can find. If not, wear them anyway. He does not have the right to make that decision for you.

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A.P.

answers from San Diego on

You have so much respect for his "organic natural thing", why can't he respect your choice to wear makeup on rare occasions?We don't need to agree with one another, just have respect for the choices we make. If it makes you feel pretty & better about yourself then I think he should be supportive of that. Your marriage isn't just about making him happy, it's supposed to make you happy too.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

use makeup from The Body Shop. They use natural ingredients.

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M.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello Kathy,

Have you looked into wearing All Natural Make-Up? I read this great book "Gorgeously Green" By Sophie Uliano that gives some great websites for All Natural make up. You can purchase the book at Target, or check out your local library for it.

Also, talk it over with your husband to see if you can work out an agreement. Like if you wear only 100% All Natural Make-up would he be willing to not have an issue with it.

I am sure if you use 100% natural your husband won't have a problem with it.

Good Luck,
M.

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy,

I personally don't think that makeup is a problem... hmmm I wonder if it was made of organic stuff he'd still have a problem with it... it'd technically still be all natural...

In college I had a bf that thought that way... I thought he was weird but some guys are like that...

Well my only suggestion would be that if he likes it all natural, go a couple months w/o shaving "most" parts of your body and she if he likes the all natural that way too... j/k...although this would be an interesting way to test his trueness to "all natural" you know what I mean.

Usually I have a lot of advice to give but girl you have me on this one.

I feel that as long as you don't overdo it and as long as it looks natural on you it shouldn't be an issue. but also be sure to use neutral colors and stay away from loud colors like reds and so on. see if that helps.

Good luck with this one.

C.

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M.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy,

You are your own person. Tell him you love him, will use "all natural" make-up, but respect your wishes as you respect his. You would not ask him to eat McDonald's just because you do (even though you don't - YUK!). It is something you enjoy, and it make you feel nice on occation!

Anyhow, good luck!

M.

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T.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

In every marriage there needs to be compromise. Things can't be all his way or all your way. It seems to me that a good "meeting in the middle" on this issue is to do just what you've been doing. You don't wear makeup usually, but on special occasions you like to. I don't think that's an unreasonable accommodation for each of you to make for the other.

However, in the end, it is your body and you have total and final say over it. That's my two cents' worth.

Good luck!!

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G.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Respecting each other’s decisions is important.
Do you believe that organic reasons are enough for you to want to stop wearing makeup? If not then ask yourself this question. Is he being fair to me and am I being fair to myself. If your desire to please him is more important then your own decision about yourself, that’s okay. Just be clear about your reasons. You don’t want to resent him later.
I personally think that if he loves you with or without make up then that should be enough for you to stop wearing it. But not too many women feel that way.
You know who you are, and that is all that matters. Stay with that and don’t allow anyone else to guide you on your decisions. The only question that you should be asking yourself is "what do I feel is the right thing for me to do."

Good luck and I hope you find your own answers with in you.

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S.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

Go to www.kygoldmine.com and read about this product. It is all natural and will resolve some of the issues. Since he is into all natural he should want to use this for you and for himself. As for Make up touches,as you use this you will use less. Mascara and eye shadows some lipstick and maby blush. Have him watch the video and watch Beverly Hollister on you tube. She is gorgeous and tastefully applied is an accent and takes nothing away from what God made.
S.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think what both of you think is important. Have an honest conversation with him (without accusing him of anything - use "I think..." statements).
Maybe you can compromise with more natural makeup? You might be able to find some on www.cosmeticsdatabase.com.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you have to do what makes you feel happy and whether or not you wear makeup should be your own personal decision. Your husband should be happy with what makes you happy. It sounds like a bit of a control issue.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy,

If I am understanding you correctly your husband doesn't like make up because it isn't all natural. Have you tried using things that are natural to enhance your beauty that he would be okay with. Like for mascara you could use Vaseline. Anther thing you could try would be there is a way to make eye shadows and blushes by using flowers. I am not sure exactly how to do it but I am sure you could find it on the internet. I hope this helps!!

S.

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L.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Women have worn make-up since the Renaissance. Native American and African women made their own make-up from plants and dyes close to home.
This is not really about the make-up, this disagreement is about you and your husband each having your own idea. It may be about caring about the environmet, or, it may be that he thinks you are prettier just the way you are. Calmly talk to him about the root of the problem. If it really is about the origins of the make-up, there are plenty of naturally derived make-up lines out, just try them out to find out which one you like best.
Good luck!

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L.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think your husband is just concerned about your health. Make-up is worn on the skin for several hours and the toxins that are in them asborb through the skin and can cause damage to your health over time. Look for a natural make-up without the chemicials in them. I went natural over four years ago and glad I did. Due to the fact that we are not suppose to advertise here, I can not tell you where I get all my make-up and home products. There are companys out there who are concerned about the environment and what we use on our bodies. Using non-toxic products is a positive step in my opinion( not necessarily the opinion of others).

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S.B.

answers from Visalia on

Kathy,

Kathy, Kathy, Kathy! This issue is not all about him!!! Its about YOU and how you handle it!! Now did you include in your marriage vows? "I will only be organic and 100% natural." While I totally agree one should compromise on certain things...this is NOT one of them. A woman's appearance is hers to decide!! Maybe you look really hot when you get done up and that is a little scarey for him! I would let him know how much you love him and respect his natural choices and you will be beside him looking hot and slightly un-natural!! I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't offer you the best plant based products that actually work! Arbonne is Pure, Safe, and Benefical! Let me know if you want some...chances are he won't even have a clue you have it on it is so natural looking! Be strong!! ____@____.com
Blessings and smiles,
S.

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D.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello Kathy... My question is:
did you use make-up prior to meeting him? If so, that means he MET You with make-up.
I don't understand what all the fuzz ia about, it's your personal choice, unless of course you're wearing extremely a lot of make up....but if it's just the simple eyeliner, mascara & a bit of blush... he may be over-reacting.... Like one of the other answers, ask him if it'd make a difference if you wore those mineral make-up? I know for one can't wear them,since it gives me an allergic reaction.
Good luck
D

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I totally believe in natural things, but there is a limit to how far we can go. If makeup makes you feel good about yourself, and increases your self esteem when wearing it, then that may be more important than the all natural proposal. Since you have probably been very open to all of his all natural desires, he needs to be open to your desires when you choose not to go all natural with your own body (versus your children; then that is a discussion between the to of you).

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I don't think it is a matter of whether he is right or not, it is just his preference. My husband and I each have many quirks, and it helps to keep peace on the homefront to try to be sensitive to the little quirks and be considerate. It is worth it to your marriage to do so. Personally, I would check in to some all natural make-up. I don't really wear make-up myself, so I don't know much about it, but I have heard of something called Bare or Raw Minerals. I don't know if it is just a gimick, but I think it would be worth checking into and I'm sure you will be able to find something. Maybe look at it as one small way you can show your husband that you love him and respect him and are willing to be considerate of his preferences. Just my thoughts! Hope this helps!

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

At the age of 46, I see this issue far more clearly than I did when I was your age and dealt with it myself. Your husband is perfectly entitled to his beliefs. But he is not entitled to impose them upon you. You are not his property. You are his wife, and a grown woman. Does he have any other control issues? If so, you need to nip this in the bud. If make-up is the only one, simply tell him that you are aware of his thoughts on the matter, but that you will be wearing make-up now and then. Period. If he cannot accept that and respect your choice in this irrelevant matter, you have a much bigger problem in your marriage than make-up.

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E.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy, this is something that should have been discussed before marriage. If he feels you shouldn't wear it, then maybe you can compromise. Talk about how much and how much he feels is to much and if this makes you feel good about yourself let him know that too. Maybe you could wear it only when you are in public and not around the house. There are mineral based makeup that doesn't show too much.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's silly to me that he has such a strong view on make-up when it can truly enhance your natural beauty with out looking overdone. Maybe, then, you should get the "all-natural/organic" make-up that is all the rage now. Even Sally Hansen's and Physician's Formula has a full line of "organic" make-up - that way you could tell him..."but, honey, it's all natural and organic!":)Best of luck to you!

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M.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello kathy,

Buy organic and all natural... also don't for get to moisturize... and if you sneak your favorite lipgloss in there... nobody will notice and you will feel good about yourself!!\\

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R.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Nicole Miller has a wonderful line of safe cosmetics. They are manufactured by Melaleuca - a company that has been making 'green' products for 23 years. If you would like more info on MElaleuca and Nicole Miller Cosmetics just let me know.

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W.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds like he just cares about your health and make up does have many toxins in it. See if he would feel better about it if you used an organic type of make up. If so check out Arbonne, they have great products that are safe and natural.
Best wishes!

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello Kathy,

Have you tried Bare Minerals? The make up is expensive, but completely natural, with a natural look. Make up makes us girls feel pretty for our husbands and perhaps he would be willing to allow you to spend a bit more for 100% natural minerals and a great result?

Good luck, Kim

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M.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi kathy,
When i first got married i had the same problem with my husband. He didnt like me wearing makeup of any kind and i happen to have old blemish spots that wont go away over time and it is all over my face and i wear make up to cover them. But after we got married my husband was always complaining that i put too much makeup on and it gets on his cloths blablabla. The one thing i will tell you that worked was i explained to him why i wear makeup and its not bcuz i like to stand in the mirror for 30mins or so just putting on makeup but that i dont like the blemishes on my face and the day they go away i will stop wearing makeup, or the day he pays for them to go away. and since he hasnt done anything about it and my blemishes are still visible to me. i still wear makeup. And i dont know if your husbands issue is trying to be in control which it sounds like it cuz mine was that way too. if anything try bareminerals or all the new mineral makeups out there see which one works for you.
Good luck
M. A.

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

He shouldn't complain. It's your face. He should tell you how pretty you look both with and without make-up. He totally has the right to his own attitudes about being natural, but only in regard to his own choices. You both have to be a little flexible in order to live together and to raise children. You/He won't have control of everything especially other people. In order to live a long and happy marriage without resentment, you both have to be free to make your own choices and support each others' differences.

All of the older women have suggested you stand up for your choices because we all know how easy it is to give up a little of yourself. Giving in threatens the relationship as much as ignoring his feelings. If he loves you for who you are, he won't hassle you for being different from him. Be authentic with yourself, and kind in communicating who you are to him. You are two separate people SHARING your lives, a marriage doesn't make you the same. He shouldn't hassle you even if you chose to wear make-up every day, any more than making you put make up on if you didn't wish to wear any. Do you tell him how he's allowed to wear his hair or what clothes to wear? (If you do, you shouldn't!)

We do our hair or put on make-up or even choose a certain color shirt because it makes us feel pretty. Strangers could care less. Most men think their wives are most beautiful first thing in the morning, no make up, messy hair, a bright smile meant only for them. We just want to feel that pretty all day.

Don't question your right to your choices. If cosmetic ingredients are important to YOU, choose wisely. If a little mascara makes you feel better, that's no sin. Like other women have said, there are many green choices out there, and again, it's up to you if you prefer them or any other products. (If toxins are really an issue, LA is a bad place to be breathing. No one is telling you to hold your breath.)

He may not "get it", but a reasonable person will learn to accept that it has some importance to you (you bothered to ask us about it). It's just a matter of taste. and again, it's YOUR face.

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L.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think that he should respect your wants and needs...he knew going into the relationship that you didnt share the same views of the all natural thing. But you want to show him that you can compromise. Since he is an all natural guru ask him to find makeup that is all natural. So everyone wins you get your makeup and he gets his conscious cleared...good luck

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E.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is makeup out there for the naturally-minded person. I think since your skin is your largest organ and everything you put on it is absorbed into your body, you also have a vested interest in natural cosmetics. Check out the environmental working group's website and see what products are out there and what their rating is.
I also think that if this is your husband's biggest complaint, then he's a blessed man!

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L.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

Maybe there is an all natural make up line that you could try. That way both of you will be happy. You want to respect your husbands views but at the same time not lose yourself.

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A.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

Kathy,
What a smart husband you have! Be sure to tell him so.

I represent a company that sells only all natural makeup, from Nicole Miller in New York. She chose our company to market her products because we use only natural products, use top quality products with vitamins and minerals that support the skin, and market directly so the makeup isn't old when you receive it at your door.

If you'd like to learn more, about these great products, check out my website. I'll get back to you immediately!

A. C.
http://www.BringingWellnessHome.com/Angel

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R.K.

answers from Reno on

Hi Kathy,

My initial response is that it is your face and you should do as you want!

As far as the concern with organics, I'm sure that some of the mass market cosmetics have ingredients that can't be good for us (remember in the Victorian era, pale skin was valued, so women used cosmetics containing lead to get that nice pale complexion). I think, though, that if you shop around you can find mositurizers and cosmetics with natural ingredients that you like to use and feel good about using. If you are lucky enough to have a Whole Foods, they do have an extensive selection of natural moisturizers and make - up. If not, you do some online research and ask companies for samples to try (Whole Foods will give you samples if you ask, and I think its a good idea to ask, especially if you are as sensitive / allergic to things as I am).

Good luck! :)

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy, first of all don't let him control what you do with your body. If you let him tell what he likes or doesn't like he will control you. Like other ladies here I think there are so many natural beauty products out there that there shouldn't be a problem for you to wear makeup. If that doesn't make him happy then it's all about him controlling you. If you don't wear makeup all the time,and you don't pack it on then I really don't know what his problem is. Your still young and I bet very pretty so maybe he thinks guys will still check you out. Is there an age differece between you two? cause that could be it too, scared of loosing you to someone else. Some guys are just like that, once you marry them they change and think they can control you.

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E.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that the air we breath is worse for our health than a little make-up every once in a while. Woman wear make-up because it makes us feel better about how we look, it's good for our self esteem. I think your husband needs to get over it, but if you want to be accommodating look online, I'm sure you can find all natural make-up.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Compromise - buy your make-up at a "health food store" - there are tons of all natural, non-animal tested products available. Unless the real issue is one of CONTROL......remember you are your own person and should have attonomy regarding your appearance. Good luck!

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O.K.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Too many responses to scroll through them all to be sure if this has been mentioned or not but . . . the health food stores I am sure he gets all his organic foods at have a make-up and beauty department (at least the ones here do) and the best part is that the make-up isn't as itchy as supermarket stuff.

One other point THPPPPTTT on him for trying to control you - he can do as he pleases and you can do the same - if you are set in your make-up choices tell him you will be happy to skip a day of makeup if he will have a dinner of deep-fried crud at a fast food place with you and then smile - he will choose to drop it I am sure. He is in charge of the choices for his body and you are in charge of yours.

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S.B.

answers from Honolulu on

You are your own person. Do you have issues with wearing make-up? It's your body, your choice. I'm a mother of also and I know that sometimes I feel that I need something to make me feel a little bit pretty or "put together", so I wear make-up. It's not something I do for my husband, it's something that I do for myself and if it makes me feel better than there should not be an issue from him.

(My opinion)

Aloha

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R.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Kathy - While your husband is entitled to his opinion, you should be able to do anything you want to do. Wearing makeup is your personal decision and he should respect that. It sounds like a control issue to me - I wonder why he cares so much about that detail of your life. Anyways, I just wanted to encourage you to be confident about doing your own thing! You could meet him halfway and use all-natural makeup for harmony in the household.
My husband never tries to control anything I do or wear - he would definitely get an earful if he even tried. And I give him the same respect.

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Kathy :)

I think your husband has reason to be concerned as our cosmetics are filled with toxins and cancer causing agents; however, I do not believe that he is right in forcing his beliefs onto you. You are you, my dear, so BE YOU!! Never ever change who you are or what you like for someone else no matter who they are!!! You cancel out your Light-self that way- dilute your spirit- and then you'll feel lost and disconnected from yourself because you're not following the direction of your higher self. In this now, on this Earth, it is so imperative that people tune into themselves and find themselves, and become "whole". Many issues are coming up in everyone's lives enabling us to LOOK INWARD. I don't think you are doing yourself any good at all worrying about your husband's beliefs, which you do not obvioulsy share 100%. I'm not trying to be disrespectful to him... He knew who you were when you married him.

If you are interested in finding out about just how safe the cosmetics are that you are using, go to www.safecosmetics.org.

In Light~
J.

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S.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I agree with the other two women that it is your choice to wear make up, especially since you do wear so little of it. But may I also suggest a compromise. You want to wear makeup, he wants all natural. Suggest to him that he research all natural all organic or whatever its called type of make up. Maybe the two of you can settle on a brand and color and all that other fun stuff that will make the both of you happy. (I wish I could help you start with that research part, but I probably wear less makeup than you do - the last time i wore anything more than lip stick was over a year ago)

Good luck

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G.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Kathy... I got married at 19 and that was a very, very long time ago... 45 years later I would not be happy if my husband suggested I not wear any makeup, or how I cut my hair or what to wear. I think the important thing is that you feel good about how you look. He needs to understand that this is your choice not his. I could understand if you wanted to wear heavy dark makeup, you are probably very pretty and its great he loves you as you are but if you feel better with makeup resolve this now. Sometimes this can be a sign of someone trying to control another person. Good luck

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy ~ as all the other women say, there are alternatives for you with regard to makeup. There are numerous all natural products you can purchase so you can wear makeup when you want but still use "natural" products. However, my feeling is if he is 100% natural, that's fine but what does that have to do with your skin? I totally understand if it's food, vitamins, things that you purchase that he will be using, but if you are not 100% natural about the items you use and he does not, what difference does it make? It's not like you're asking him to wear your makeup. He can be 100% natural and you can be 80% natural or whatever. I guess I'm just opposed to people who force their beliefs on others. That's why there are a variety of items out there so everyone can have/use what suits their needs and beliefs. I don't think the frequency of you wearing makeup matters. If you wore it everyday, it's your skin, you should wear/use whatever you want and the products that you like.

C.C.

answers from Visalia on

kathy, there is natural, mineral, organic make up. i'd look into that. you didnt mention but does your husband shave or gets a haircut, puts deodorant or does he go all natural????? anyhoo, he shouldn't complain, remember men are from mars, we are from venus, thus way different.

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H.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear Kathy,
It looks like you have a lot of good advice. I think you should do as you please. There are many recipes for make-up as it was made about a century ago.(I haven't looked but the ideas are very old and available) I like Kajal very much. Kajal is a type of eye-liner that has been used since the ancient Egyptians.It can be orderd or bought at stores that carry merchandise from India. Have fun with the possibilities!

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J.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hmmm, all natural. Okay. Do you shave your legs and armpits? Why doesn't have issues with that?? Does he want a yeti for a wife?? :) I'm trying to make light of the situation, but is he flipping out about the makeup? Talk to him about it, what really bothers him about the makeup? Is he afraid the chemicals will rub off on him, thus making him "unnatural"? Tell him to drop it. Go makeup shopping together or have him find you 'all natural' makeup. Heck, I'll send you some myself if it's a money issue or if it's unavailable in your area...

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P.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kathy,
I admire that you support your husband for his decision. If he wants to be all natural, then that is his choice. You wouldn't ask him to go comando if that was what you did and you prefer things that way.
I am sure that he can understand this. Your choice, your face.
P.

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H.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try using all natural make-up...for example some of the mineral based makeup from Whole Foods. Perhaps being a purist like he is, it's the idea of putting chemicals and unnatural substances onto your skin that he has a problem with. In any case, it is up to you to be true to yourself, and you certainly have a right to want to get "glammed up" once in awhile...see if the all natural make-up could perhaps be a compromise for those times you do feel like wearing it:)

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm with you it seems unfair. Your husband must truly think you are far more beautiful without any makeup and that is an ENORMOUS compliment that would leave most women speechless. Perhaps you could switch to all organic makeup brand, like everydayminerals.com, this brand is truly natural and has no chemicals in it.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your husband has a point in that cosmetic companies and personal care companies use toxic chemicals. They are not regulated by any government or private body. Out of the 10,000+ chemicals used in cosmetics and personal care products only 8-10 have been tested for safety on humans. Many ingredients used in these products are toxic and have been found to have adverse health affects.

For more info check out www.cosmeticsdatabase.com.

BUT... the good news there are solutions and new products coming out that are safe. The biggest thing is to read labels carefully and know what the ingredients are that are in the products. Don't trust the labels just because they use "organic" "natural" in the name or on the label. As I said these companies are not regulated. There may be one natural organic ingredient in the product.

A couple of suggestions. I am creating an amazon store of safe cosmetics and personal care products. However, I am at work. If you are interested I can send the link to you so that you can take a look at some of the products in the store. I have been stocking the store with safe products. Hand picking each product by reading each ingredient label. Maybe this can help you to get started.

Also http://greenqueen.mionegroup.com/en/home makes safe cosmetics and personal care products. You can also go to www.cosmeticsdatabase.com. They have a data base where you can enter an ingredient or a product name to see how safe it is. They have lots of info and articles on safe products.

If you are interested in my amazon store email me at ____@____.com if you have questions let me know.

A little about me. I discovered that personal care products and cosmetics use dangerous ingredients and that they are not regulated. Thus I decided to make my own products. Through making my own products I learned about ingredients. I also found that there are companies that make safe cosmetics and personal care products. It takes some time to get through all of the marketing hype though. So I decided that maybe I can help others find safe products. That is when I stumbled on the Amazon Store and Miessence products.

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

What if you found organic makeup?

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K.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Do you have a natural food store where you live? Dr. Haushka is a german company and has all organic, biodynamically produced makeup and skin line. It's more expensive but worth it. There may be deeper issues here like he doesn't want you looking just that extra bit beautiful with makeup on. I suggest trying to get to the real issue and communicate. I'm sure you are beautiful w/out makeup but I totally relate as a mom, wanting to wear just a little here and there to perk yourself up. Perhaps he doesn't know that it makes us feel better sometimes?? Try to talk about what's "really" going on. Good luck you beautiful mom!

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K.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can understand that being "green" and "organic" is a very personal decision, often based in life philosophies. I have very close friends that are vegan and live a very organic lifestyle with 4 children. I won't comment on who is right or wrong, but if being "organic" is an issue (particularly animal testing), then try checking out Whole Foods (particularly the one in El Segundo) as they have really wonderful personal care products that are natural, organic, and environment friendly.

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