ADHD Kids & School

You don't mention medication. Sorry but all the therapy in the world will do no good without meds. There is a limit to how long you can control yourself with ADHD. She has done very well making it this far but school is almost out, this is the hardest time to have ADHD.

I have to have the morning lecture, guys I know but suck it up! Three weeks left, one day at a time, blah blah blah....their brains are already on break so they have to keep pulling them back to school. This is with meds, if they weren't on meds I would have ran away from home a week ago vowing to not return until June or a fully stocked wine cellar!

I think kids with ADHD are easy but then I have it so I know what is going on in their minds.

The easiest thing to do is help them to be able to find the information to control themselves when they need it. We are all about triggers, different things trigger memories. So the consequences for something must be something that will trigger them to remember the outcome when that situation comes up again.

Not sure if that makes sense.

Oh, yeah, my two older kids went to private Catholic schools and did just fine. The structure is perfect for kids with ADHD, much better than a public school.

It does bother me that the school wants to expel her. Is there more to this story, perhaps that you aren't working as a team? If my kids were behavior problems the school would not have threatened to expel them. If I had refused to medicate them and pass the responsibility of constant redirection to an already overworked teacher I believe they would have said we can't handle your child. Probably a good idea to have everything here if you want help.

Actually natural consequences do work if applied properly. "Didn't think that through?", is a big saying in our home. Any of us do the mental gymnastics of what went wrong, what did we miss, how can it go better. The thought process becomes embedded and when faced with a decision we tend to "think things through". Grounding does not, I swear to you, 100%, does not work with kids with ADHD because that grounding will not be brought into the conscious when needed. They will do it again and then figure out how not to be grounded for it.

She's in a faith-based school that sends kids home instead of dealing with the behaviors? She's in a program where they cannot handle any kind of issue? Is all of the emphasis on academics rather than on the whole child, including social skills and dealing with frustration/anger? What are the religious values of the school? Does it state in their charter or mission statement or policies that kids with behavioral issues will be expelled? You've already got a child who was expelled from a preschool.

She's 5 and has already had 2 negative experiences in 2 schools. Presumably, you paid tuition to these 2 schools and they kicked her out. I'd move her immediately to a school with early intervention services and a commitment to work with the child and the family rather than resort to expulsion. You need more trained educators who can reinforce expectations at the time. Nothing you do at home is going to help what happened at 10 AM or 1 PM. A young child needs immediate intervention. You can be on the same thought track as the teachers and be using some of the same techniques and language so the child has consistency, yes. But telling her something at 7 AM that will stick with her in school, or dealing with some school episode after gets home is too far removed.

There are other ways to give a child a religious upbringing. You need more services and a more responsive school administration than you have had to date.

I was a teacher in several private faith-based schools, and we never sent kids home because they had an outburst. We dealt with it then and there, followed up by parent conferences and a plan of action involving the school psychologist or psychiatrist. We worked as a team.

If this school isn't supporting her, then find one which does. The extra academics and religious education can be extracurriculars.

Best,
F. B.

Put her in public schools where they have the resources to help her. And put her into ccd/religious ed classes

Natural consequences do not work w/ ADHD kids. Token/rewards CAN work but when these kids are pushed really hard, they will not excel - they will lash out or become depressed. Public school may be a better option because she is likely to get support there.

If you aren't using meds, you may want to discuss them with her therapist. Our son w/ ADHD started on Intuniv after months of intensive therapy - and he clearly needs both. Intuniv is not like Ritalin or Adderall - there are other options for kids who need a little help. He still had two big outbursts at school this semester (he is in 3rd grade) but he does very well now 90% of the time.

Also, and this is just my opinion, but faith can be a sanctuary, and ADHD kids need more emotional sanctuary more than many of us (and we all need it). So...it might be nice for her if faith is a more peaceful resting place for her emotions. I am not saying I think faith-based education is bad - I grew up where there were many wonderful Catholic schools and boy, those kids got a great education - but it might be better for an ADHD kid to have faith be a resting place.

At age 5, switching schools shouldn't be too hard. And watch for signs of other issues - ADHD rarely comes with no other challenges. Kids can beat OCD with help (ours did, though we have to be watchful). I think ODD requires meds.

Peace, blessings, hugs, and good luck to you. I am all to aware of how hard this can be.

-e

C.,

I feel for you and your daughter. I am sorry you are going through this. I can relate. Two of my kids have ADHD, and one takes Concerta for it. Here is my suggestion:

Before you consider medicating your daughter (I know you didn't mention this, but it may be a possibility for you to consider), I strongly recommend trying to treat her ADHD through diet/healthy lifestyle.

What no one tells us about ADHD (especially doctors, b/c they simply do not know) is that what we eat is EXTREMELY important and correlated to how we behave. If you feed your daughter junk, for example, her body, brain, and ADHD behaviors are getting zero nutrition. But if you feed your daughter healthy foods (and not too many processed foods), her behavior will be better b/c she is getting proper nutrition.

I recently found out (and I feel very stupid for not knowing this) that egg yolks being the cause for the LDL (the bad) cholesterol is a myth!!! For so many years, I have stayed away from eggs and kept my kids away from eggs because I thought the yolks contribute to LDL cholesterol. NOPE! Did you know that vegetarian fed, cage-free, omega-3 eggs are one of the healthiest foods you could eat? I recently read an article that said it helped with ADHD, because the yolk of the egg are "nature's vitamins." It provides so much!!! It said that eating two full eggs (including the yolks, the most important part) a day is wonderful. It said that only eating the egg whites is a bad idea, b/c there is little nutrition. If you give your daughter two eggs (preferably vegetarian fed, cage free, and fortified with omega 3's - omega 3's are VERY important to a healthy brian) with her breakfast every morning, along with a healthy carb, the protein/carb combo will hold her hunger and keep her and her tummy happy until lunch, which will enable her to stay more focused at school. If, for example, you give her a pop tart for breakfast, it feeds her nothing, and she will crash and burn before 9:00 a.m., leaving her brain/body nothing to go on and no nutrition at all.

Every morning, I give my 4th grader 2 eggs (my younger ones eat one egg - hopefully they will start eating 2 eggs, but 1 egg is a start), a healthy carb, their liquid vitamins (even though the yolk contain a ton of vitamins, I also give them a liquid vitamin from Sprouts, my health food store, that also contain fruits, veggies, and omega 3's, so they are getting their omega 3's from the eggs and the liquid vitamins). I also just bought Barlean's Total Omega 3/6/9 swirl (more omegas for their brains - you just can't get enough)!! I also make sure they drink their milk for their calcium and healthy bones.

Make sure your daughter eats right all day long, with little processed foods and little sugar. Do not give her juice boxes if you pack her lunch - you are not doing her any favors! Give her a milk drinkbox, or a mini bottle of water, or coconut water. Make sure she also gets plenty of protein combined with carbs to continue to get her through the day.

Try this for a couple weeks, and compare it to her previous not so good behavior. If it does not work at all (which I would be surprised), then you may need to consider medicating her.

I am going to stop medicating my son next school year, and see how that goes. Since the school year is almost over, I will continue with his medication and experiment next year.

It is also imperative your daughter is getting a good night sleep. She should go to bed at 7:00!! If she is tired or sleep deprived, she (as well as any child) WILL act out at school. Make sure her room is completely dark and at a good temperature. If her room is stuffy, she will not get a good night sleep! Make sure she drinks plenty of water to stay hydrated. All of this will help to improve her ADHD.

Also, I do not think it matters if she is in private or public school. If you switch her to public school, her ADHD will be the same. She may get more help at a public school, but your goal is for her ADHD to decrease or go away completely, which is why you should focus on a healthy diet and a lot of sleep for your daughter. Good luck!!

She has a medical diagnosis I assume, it must be diagnosed with someone who has the legal credentials to diagnose a mental health issue.

Once that diagnosis is in place the school cannot discriminate against her in any way. The are doing so by not having a plan to address her behaviors.

Google 504 plan. Schools are required to supply these needs. I suggest you might be happier in public school but if you like this private school then you need to stand up for her.

Your child should have a plan and she should never be threatened with expulsion in any way.

I haven't read any of the other posts so sorry if I repeat.

1. Is she medicated? If not, please talk with her doctor. I was diagnosed at age 8, and my boys were both diagnosed at 5 and 6. Their school issues did not change until we medicated them. It's not a bad thing, no matter how anyone guilts you. You wouldn't tell a parent whose kid had epilepsy not to medicate, there's no reason a child with ADHD should not take meds to reduce the symptoms and help her focus.

2. See how she's doing after you get her on a med that works for her. She might not need to leave her school. However, I will tell you that token economies and rewards systems DON'T work for ADHD kids. Also, if you're doing negative consequences for poor behavior, I hope you're also ensuring that she is praised and recognized for good things. Try not to focus so much on bribing her through a token/reward system, which generally isn't the ADHD kid's way, but on giving her a good and throrough "pat on the back" with quality time together and thoughtful words. Do the "5 Love Languages" test online for kids to determine just what her love language is so you know what will meet her needs.

If you find that the meds do nothing for her impulsivity, and you've exhausted everything the docs have offered (which I'd find shocking), I'd move her to a public school to work within a system that will be more understanding. But please keep in mind that she IS 5. You're not going to get rid of ALL impulsivity. Some of it is age appropriate.

Best of luck.

You did not say if she is on meds or not. I am pretty sure my youngest has ADHD and we have had to find outlets for the energy. Also if we see he is extra hyper at home we will give him caffine. We use that instead of medication. I also know some dys in foods can be a trigger as well. He's always been in public school and they have had meetings with us and we have discussed things that work and don't work with him. We also at the end of 2nd grade put in him gymnastics because he was already a very good flipper and would flip all over the place. He now competes and it has been the best thing for him. It helps him get the high energy lvl out and has tought him focus.