ADHD And Medication???

I have a son who was diagonosed with adhd 2 years ago. He is now 8 years old and is on medication - concerta 36 mg. I had always thought that adhd was way over diagnosed and kids were being way over medicated. But it is amazing the difference when he is on the medication. Last week I had forgotten to give him his pill and his teacher was concerned thinking that something was going on at home, because he was just off the wall hitting kids, pushing kids, not sitting down. I have had many people tell me that there is a huge difference when he is not on the medication. He has had no side affects with this medication. To me this medication was a life saver, he is also able to focus at school a little more. So for my son the medication works wonders.

My grandson is 6 and he has been diagnosed with ADHD, unfortunately I can't remember the name of the medication but it has done wonders for his ability to focus in school. It is a new medication that is out. it might worth a chance to try him on it.

Have you tried a high protein diet? My close friend was struggling with the same problem and didn't want to medicate. She researched a nutritional treatment and would make whole wheat pancakes and eggs and bacon each morning. She said it was hard to give up her spare time in the am but it was worth it because he was able to focus more and be a bit more even keel. I don't know the name of the diet or anything but maybe research the nutrition part of ADD on the internet. Good luck! This will work out

I don't have much experience on medicating kids that early for ADD, but I spent many years working with kids and families as counselor. I think it's a tough decision to to make about medication, and the best rule I found is to decide on how his behavior effects social interactions. If his hyperactivity keeps him from being able to have and keep friends his age, then you start to see major problems in social development and confidence when he can't make friends. I would also pay attention to how long he can focus on any one task. Does it effect his learning process? It's one thing to manage their energy, and it's hard work, but it can be done without medication. But if it interfere's with social development, those are much more difficult hurdles to deal with and they typically get worse with age. And when he's trying to learn, and can't focus...he'll get frustrated when he doesn't understand, then this can start to show up as behavior problems in school. I would get several doctor's opinions on the side effects of having a child that young on medication so you can make an educated decision. I do think some doctors are too quick to diagnose and prescribe medication; however, ADD medication can be a HUGE help to some kids. You know your child best, and will know what's best for him. Good luck.

M.,
I had what sounds like several of the same problems with my son a few years ago. DO NOT PUT HIM ON MEDICATION!!!! There are so many ways to help him and you at the same time. Do you have house rules posted so he knows what is expected of him? Do you keep a schedule at your house? If you want to give me a call, or send me an email, I would love to share with you, what we did. It has made such a huge difference in all of our lives!!! I live close to you and would like to help. ###-###-#### ____@____.com

Dear M.,
Been where you are with two of my three sons. I did succumb to the pressures from school officials, doctors, and even psychologists to try the medication route with my middle son when he was only 4 & again when he was 7. The jury is still out on whether or not I have lost too much of my son's uniqueness through these medical trials (experiaments) to ever get him to grow into a confident and satisfied young man. He is eighteen now & it is just sad what he has went through because I trusted so-called experts to know more about my child's learning challenges than I did.
His problems began in pre-school as well, but not until I pulled him out of the public school system in his fifth grade to homeschool him for 3 years, & pushed all the so-called experts away from us, did I begin to see his happiness return to him. It was frightening how much damage had already been done to his self-esteem. He had been on six different medication trials for his ADD/ADHT & it made all of our family's lives pure hell, but none of us suffered as much as my son did. Homeschooling him was a real struggle & it wasn't until the second year that I began to see progress. At the end of the third, he was insisting on returning to public school & I had to let him try even though I was sure he wasn't ready. He only made it two more years attempting to make it in the public school system (8th & ninth grade) & did his 10th grade online through K12 where he was a straight A student, but he has given up now & is trying for his GED. He just has not been able to regain his confidence & now, he has no ambition or desire for more of what he has come to associate with pain in his heart over who he is - that he does not fit in, that he is not smart enough or good enough, in spite of all our encouragements & his actual achievments. I am so very hopeful that some day (with plenty of patience from me & more encouragement from all his family) that he will again begin to step out on a path that will work for him & will finally gain back his self-esteem. I am saddened that we spent too much of his childhood searching for what was wrong, rather than what was right & beautiful.
Love your son M. for the way he is (hard as this is to do when he exhausts you); every single child is uniquely different & even gifted at something. Find out what he loves to do, & expose him gradually to new things to see what all interests him, & then develope him accordingly. I am sorry if this is not the answer you had hoped for, but I know just how you feel when you are just certain there is an easier way to get your son to focus - yes, medications can help with focus, but you have to ask yourself, "what will he lose of himself?" It is too high a price to let doctors &/or psychologists play around with our children's minds with drugs that have so many unknown & unpredictable side effects. None of us can know the human mind & to use mind drugs llke vitamins is an extremely dangerous thing - some day doctors will realize how much damage they have done, but it will be too late for many of us.
My youngest son is HDHD as well & I refused the medications - he struggles greatly academically & drives me nuts still with his hyperactivity (I have put him in a lot of sports). He has been a constant challenge to me over his grades (he's now 16) but he has not lost his self-esteem -this counts far more than too many people realize. Just love your son & pray to God for him to discover his way! These kinds of kids need a lot of structure, but also the ability to communicate openly with their parents & the ability to negotiate in a controlled forum (when the parents call the weekly meeting with them). Having such children set their own consequences is a good plan too as they grow into their pre-teen years. May God Bless you & all mother's dealing with what you are because it has never been as difficult, but we mothers are in this together! Reach out for those who can commit time to helping you & trust God that He knew exactly what He was doing when he made your children & more so, when He chose to give them to you to raise!

I medicated my son when he was four on my pediatrician's advice. The ritalin didn't work---it made him even more hyper. When we tried Staterra, I thought it helped but he had an undiagnosed earache and was acting weird/paranoid---I thought it was the drugs and my pediatrician was very open to taking a break from the meds. During the break from meds we found an OT that identified my son with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and he hasn't needed meds since. There are many kids with ADHD/ADD that have overlap into SPD and occupational therapy has been very helpful. Through my research prior to my son going on meds there is proof that diet and supplements can help but homeopathy overall and as a sole therapy did not proved to be therapeutic.

Best wishes.

K

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD when she was in first grade. We went through 4 different medications and all had side effects that were more detrimental than positive. We eventually took her off her medication and have made accomodations at school and at home to help her. Through the years I learned of a homeopathic product that parents I personally know swear by to help ADHD. My daughter doesn't like the taste, but is very picky that way. It's called beCALM'd. The following webiste is just one of many that talk about it. http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2823/
I would also recommend the magazine ADDitude. It has some great articles and discusses various issues and remedies. Another friend told me of a great therapist in Broomfield who successfully treated her ADD son with therapy versus medication. Her website is: http://annashousellc.com/
Getting involved in a support group could also help. You can look on the CHADD website and possibly find one in your area.
I have read about many successful individuals who have ADHD. If you can keep that in mind, it may help you to focus on the strengths of your child.
If you need more info, feel free to email me. Please know, you are not alone. Hang in there! S.

i fell for you! my son is adhd, we started him on meds in august and they have done wonders,
ask your doctor about stratera its a non stimulant and once it is in thier system it maintains the level , unlike other meds that will wear off after several hours.
my son is 9 and this is the 1st year that we have not had any phone calls or notes sent home from school. we can actually enjoy our son again it has been amazing.

hope this helps

Hi M.,
Have you tried giving a pharmaceutical grade supplement (multi) and a high quality fish oil. Sometimes very high doses of Omega 3's with DHA can really help. I would also try eliminating all sugar and possibly procesed foods. Adding more protein and even more so veggies into his diet and limiting processed carbs can also really make a difference. Some kids can benefit from a form of acupuncture than can help too, it is not done with needles, but with some tools that stimulate the points. I would at east try the dietary changes though for sure, before going the med route. In good health,
T.
T. Sobel, Dipl.O.M.
Acupuncture, Nutrition & Herbs
###-###-####

Hi there-

There is a book called Digestive Wellness for Kids by Dr. Liz Lipski. She is a clinical nutritionist and gives a ton of great information. From what I've read diet can have a huge effect on ADHD. Another thing I have learned is that the products you use in your home, cleaners, laundry soap, anything with chemicals can affect kids way more than adults as they have much higher respirations per minute. Let me know if you'd like some more info on any of this. Keep up the good work as you said I'm sure its frustrating.

Best blessings-
Jenny

This is where my advice is coming from first off- I was an elementary school teacher for 12 years before having my children and staying home.
I would definitely give the medicine a try. I think some people rush to medicate their children and really just don't
want to discipline so they look for the easy way out. It
doesn't sound like you are that type of person by what you
are describing. I can tell you that kids that have ADD and
do not get the meds they need tend to not be able to make
friends or hold on to them in school. They are constantly
getting corrected and the other kids pick up on this so
they don't want to be around them. It is not his fault and
anything you can do to help him would only make his life
harder. I would do a blind test- put him on meds and try out
the different doses and differetn types out there- but do
not tell his teacher (blind) and see if it really makes a
difference). You can also look at his diet. I have known
alot of parents who have adjusted their kids diet and got
some benefits.
Good Luck and be strong!

I have a very similar child. He's 10 now. The very best book and advice we ever used was Good and Angry by Turansky and Miller. We still screw up, but it sure helps if you follow it. The other one that has helped is Love and Logic. I did the meds thing for almost a year but the more I read, the more I'm convinced NOT to do that. I also belong to an online support group. It is ____@____.com I THINK. IF that's not it exactly you can google it to see more. Hope this helps. Lanna

I'll start by saying I have not had personal experience raising a child that has been diagnosed with ADD, but I feel for you with your frustration and dilemma about the meds. I've read tons of material from the nutritional community that suggests a high correlation between the increased instances of ADD and ADHD and all the food additives, unnatural fats and extra sugars (particularly high fructose corn syrup) in our food. Just a thought, but you might pay extra attention to the foods your son consumes and read labels carefully. I've also heard many reputable natural health professionals suggest getting kids tested for actual food allergies because you might have an otherwise difficult time identifying sensativities like this on your own. I wish you the best in finding a healthy solution for both you and your son!

First of all don't feel guilty....it doesn't help you or your child. Before we were mothers, we were human beings, with a wide range of feelings and emotions. It's great that you can recognize and verbalize your feelings....that is going to bode well for the road you and your son have to travel.

I have a 15 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD. We did the meds, special education, and IEP's. There were days it seemed as if he was making progress and other times it seemed as if we took 2 steps back. I always and still make sure that he knows that I love him, support him, and will advocate for him. I cheered, I cried, I was frustrated, I was angry, but I never gave up.

I felt the same way about the meds. At your sons young age the meds may not really show major side effects. Ask ALOT of questions if you do decided to administer the meds. But watch him......any behavior change or mood swings call your pediatrican and talk with them about any concerns you have. Find out all you can about EVERYTHING, remain diligent. Make your sons teachers your best friend. If you can, get involved in class; parties, reading/math buddies, volunteer so you can see for your self what is going on. This will help you head any problems off at the pass, my point being the teachers will get the message that you are INVOVLED, and they will in turn become involved as well.

The second thing I might do (if you haven't already) is ask for an full range of audio processing testing. My son didn't have ADHD but an audio processing disability. They caught it when he was in 7th grade. Often these types of disabilities mask themselves as ADHD. This may give you peace of mind and a direction when it comes to giving him medication.

I am pleased to report that my 15 year old son is a freshman in HS. He is a great kid, I can't tell you how proud of him I am. He isn't an A student, but his grades aren't bad either, he is respondisible, he has a job, he plays sports, and is well adjusted. He will tell you that he never gave up, because I never gave up. It has been alot of work....but the pay out....oh my...I wish you could see my smile right now.

M. I wish you all the luck in the world. Hang in their sister.....I know how you feel...I hope this helped....BEST WISHES

A LITTLE ABOUT ME: Mother of 4 kids: 15, 13, 6,& 2.

M.,
My sister, when I we were younger, was put on the meds. Honestly, they made everything worse in the long haul. When she was given her medication she became like a miniature, walking drugee. When it wore off, her tempers were worse than they were before. After a very horrible year or more my mother finally got her off of the stuff. We had to endure a lot of detox, literally. But through love, patience, and persistence there was success. My sister is just fine now. Sports and other physical activities I believe were helpful. I think a monitored diet of sorts would have helped her greatly as well. I know for my own home we live on a very tight budget, but my husband and I do our best to still give them "good stuff". We use multi-vitamins as well which has made a huge difference. I wish I could help as far as balancing two. My sister and I are 7 1/2 years apart so quite frankly I mothered quite a bit. I don't know if any of this has helped...but I hope so.

I have never had the experience of an ADD child personally, but have worked with several people who have it as adults. Most of them told me the symptoms decreased with age. For now, I would recommend you go on-line and google his diagnosis and try to find a support group to help you cope. Of course, you will meet other moms with ADD and they can help you with advice. I would also try a parenting course geared towards ADD children. Check Kaiser's website www.kp.org because I think they have a support group and parenting class that addresses the illness. They are open to non-members taking classes usually. I would use the medication only after all other options are exhausted. It is important that you understand this is not your fault. Also, if he's highly intelligent he could be acting out because he's bored. Good luck and I'll be praying for you and your family!

Hi M.,

I wish I had read your post sooner. I am part of a Learning Disorders Solutions Network in Fort Collins. We just held a workshop last Saturday the 12th on alternative solutions for learning disorders. Please let me know if you would liek to know about future workshops and classes.

It does sound like you got a lot of good advice. I completely support good nutrition and chiropractic! :-)

I highly recommend reading Dr. Scott Shannon's Book "Please Don't Diagnose My Child" and trying Brain Integration Technique. You can look at www.openpathwaystolearning.com for BIT information. I work a lot with essential oils as well as the nutritional piece and they work quite nicely together. I would be happy to chat with you more if you would like.

I applaud you for tyring everything that you have, you are a great mom!

Best of health,
R. www.myherblady.com

I also have a 5 year old with adhd, minus the aggressive behavior. My youngest brother, who is now just 15, also has the diagnosis of adhd since age 7. I know it's frustrating but I think it would help markedly if you and your son started seeing a good psychologist to help and coach with this from the behavioral modification standpoint coupled with a great psychiatrist for the medication part if necessary. There is a lot of frustration that comes from lack of knowledge & understanding with the issue. Start immediately! Find and bring the love and tenderness back into your relationship with your son before it is too late, ENJOY your son again. It can definitely happen, and our children are too important to not do everything possible to make their childhood as happy and loving as possible! Good luck and take time for yourself, by yourself, when you need it. It's just as important to be in a good place emotionally and mentally as the mother, it helps to handle the frustration of parenting and refuels your patience levels--which is soooooo important with this type of behavior! Remember, much of the time your son is too spontanious to control his behavior himself, his mind is so "busy". Think about this: if YOU are frustrated with him and his behavior & choices, he is most likely just as frustrated with himself, if not more, and his inability to please his mom.

I can hear so much of myself and my son in your situation. Seth is 8 years old now and I've been struggling with the decision to get him on meds since he was 5. I and his teachers tried everything to get him to focus on tasks, from only alowing him four crayons at a time so he wouldn't get overwhelmed, to alowing him to play with a toy in his hands while he read to keep his hands busy. Nothing worked and those ideas that did seem to work only did so for a little while. One day in particular I was helping him with his homework and I got so angry with him for not paying attention, I knew something needed to change, yelling wasn't helping him with his situation. Seth also has a liver disease and for a long time I resisted starting meds because i didn't want him to have to take more medication than he already had. After alot of discussion with his teacher, principle, school nurse, child psychologist, doctors as well as my fellow nurses I work with, I decised to start him on ritalin. I've done a lot of research on this med, and it isn't a sedative, or a psychotropic medication like alot of people believe. it is a stimulant and it helps to stimulate to areas of the brain kids use to concentrate. I've noticed a dramatic improvement of my little man, he does his homework in 30 minutes instead of the 3-4 hours it was taking him before. He reads beautifully. He can finally show the whole world what I've always know he was, a smart and beautiful boy. I hope our story helps you, and good luck.

My son was diagnosed moderate-to-severe ADHD in Kindergarten. We strongly resisted medicating him, but finally gave in to our trusted pediatrician & have been very happy with the results. He's on Concerta, which works for 12 hours - wonderful, as he can focus to do his homework after school, etc. We were really worried about "drugging" him but were surprised and relieved to find that he is still our sweet, thoughtful, funny, creative son when he takes his medicine - no one would ever guess! The possible risks of most of the ADHD medications are scary, but that's a choice you have to research and make for yourself. I don't think drugs are "always" the answer but it has made our son - and our family - much happier. Good luck to you!

My oldest was diagnosed at that age as well. I blamed it on the teacher who was old and cranky anyway. Then in the first grade, he had a wonderful teacher I really liked and she saw the same things. That is when I finally had him tested and he was diagnosed w/ ADHD. He started ritalin then. It made a world of difference. I made sure he ate a huge breakfast before giving it to him before he left for school. He was six then. The meds have to be adjusted according to his weight. By the time he was in the 6th grade it wasn't effective anymore I Concerta came out which I thought was a God send. It's ritalin time released through out the day. By the time he was 16, he chose to go off. I told him it was his choice. He will be 20 this year and I sometimes think it would be best if he were on it again. He was more focused when on it. I don't know. That's my story...every one has a different one. By the way, it didn't stunt his growth any. He's now 6'4".

I have a child with ADD and went through the same things you are. It takes alot of patients and consistant with them. My son is now 15 years old. I tried the medications and all that did was cause alot of side affects. I took him off and never tried anything else. He had been in special ed classes since he was in elementary school and that has helped him alot. I had to fight with the school to get him in but in the end I won. I know it is hard on you, my kids are 15 months about and I had my hands full. My daughter didn't have ADD and she had alot of trouble dealing with her brother, I just sat her down and explained to her what was wrong and she learned to have more patience with him. She even got involved in helping him with his homework. There is no easy answer just that being there for him and talking to him about his behavior won't be tolerated and punishment needs to follow his actions. It's a long road but in the end there is sucess. My son has turned out to be a good student and a typical teenager. He has not been in trouble in school except that time is a problem with him, he has been late for class several times because he gets distracked very easy. He also waits till the last minute to get projects done and could take more time one them. He almost made honor roll this year on the 1st quarter and then he droped some of his grades on the second. It is always a battle put I talk to him very calmly and explain what he needs to do and ask for help as often as he needs it. I just got divorced at the end of "07 and he has had some problems with that, which has affected him in school also, it has not been a good divorce but i do talk to him all time and try to keep comunication. I also suggest getting your son into counseling, that really helps alot and helps them understand what is going on with them and that there is nothing wrong with them they just have some challenages to get through. My son saw a couseler that specialized in ADD and ADHD kids it helped alot. My son knows that he is no different then the other kids he just learns in a different way. I hope this helps you. Good luck and show him lots of love and attention. L.

M., go to www.truehope.com . They have a vitamin-mineral-herb product that works like a charm! High 80's- low 90's % success rate. ONly side affects are bright yellow urine (from the B vitamins) They have about 22,000 people using this stuff(E M Power+ is what they call it) It also helps depression, fibromyalgia,M.S. & lupus. I have been looking over these guys' shoulders for about 11 years. A lot of what I know is on the site, but I'll tell you anything I know about it (Truehope) or them. You'll be pleasantly surprised. It'll give your little boy his life back (& You yours!)
David L
____@____.com

M. have you ever heard of Reliv? It is plant based nutritional shakes. There used to be Tuesday night presentations in Greeley that you can go and just listen and ask questions or if you don't want to do that I can give you the name of a couple of ladies that have the product. The product is amazing and I have heard stories from moms that said it has helped their ADD, ADHD and autistic children. If you don't want to go to meds it is definitely worth a try. Feel free to contact me at ____@____.com if interested. Good Luck

Hi M.,

I just read about Love and Logic - looks like a powerful parenting tool. I'm checking it out for us. Might be useful for you and your son.

Perhaps research on treating ADD naturally. My niece was diagnosed with ADD and her parents changed her diet and made other changes that have totally turned her around. I know they don't allow her any processed foods. There are books on treating ADD with meds.

It seems very clear to me that he doesn't get the love/attention he needs because you are so focused on his behavior. I know "drugging" him can be scary because he's so young, but think of the risk vs. benefit. As a former kindergarten teacher, I can almost guarantee that school will be much better for him on meds. Especially because his teacher doesn't love him like you do, it's important for him to be the best he can so that he/she will focus on his good point, not his bad.

Go to the library there are other options keep the school out of it if you can. Go to your family doctor tell him your concerns he can guide you. If you are active willing to be wrong he will be fine. ADD is a medical problem and should be treated like one in my opinion. I have seen over reaction and underconcern. Both are bad if you stay on track and love your kid you can do it!!!!

M.:

I cannot say that I can relate to your situation, but I have known people on ADD meds in the past. I thought I would write, because I have been told many things when it comes to medicating children, and I am not too fond of it either. No one wants their little one to become something other than themselves. You know, I believe that using the meds are your decision, so maybe you could try your son on the meds for awhile, and see how he handles it. If things are better, then you can truly enjoy your little boy...wouldn't that be nice. If he is worse, or seems to be in a fog, and not enjoying life, then just stop using them. The good thing is that if you start the pills, it is not a FINAL decision. It's unfortunate that those are our choices, but if it really makes things better than why not try. I read an article once, where a woman said that she didn't want to give her little girl ADD meds, and after she did, her daughter thanked her. Said something like I can enjoy myself now... I can't remember exactly. Good luck! :)

Have you tried a natural "Whole Foods" organic diet with him? I have had mothers who swear that once they did the switch to such foods their children with ADHD were much better. There are also natural supplements that can help attention...I would seek the advice of a Chinese or Herbal Physician in your area. At the very least, it is worth a try before medicating!

S.

Dear M. R,

You will definitely have your hands full for the rest of his life. His is gifted with an extraordinary mind.
I have ADD (54 years)and my children have ADD. Along with the business goes awkward social skills. While sometimes appearing emotionally sensitive, we often times do not recognize when we have offended others. When something crosses our minds, it just gets blurted out without thought to whether it might insult someone. Once the damage is done, we are often confused as to what we did wrong and deeply sorrowful for our error.

Enough of that thought. Medication was not available for me during my educational days. We were just considered problem children. My children did take meds and it helped a lot to help them focus. However, I strongly recommend that you find a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD for your child that can help with the social and organizational issues that continually come up. They never go away.

I suggest you check out the CHADD organization as well.

God bless you and your family, G. H.

M.,

I know from personal experience how frustrating this can be. All your concerns are valid, but probably the most valid is the one about how his behaviors and how you deal with them will affect him. My boy's mom was also very reluctant (I was "just" reluctant) to put him on meds, but what a difference it has made in his successes. However, one must be very judicious, e.g. we recently tried increasing his meds because of increased agitation and hyperactivity around Christmas. Mistake! His defiance went up three-fold, or more. We have now returned him to his previous dose and he's like a whole different child. He even seemed to know why once we identified the possibility of his behavioral change being meds related in his presence. He said to me, following a particularly bad incident in the grocery store, "It's 'cause of my orange medicine, Dad", which apparently was accurate. I initially chalked this up to his mom and I having talked about it with his psychologist and him shortly before this (you know how kids, even adults, will seize upon any excuse if it's offered to them), but I believe now that he really knew.

I give this example because meds are a great asset, but it is extremely important that the adult in charge (you) be aware of all the ramifications. That means consulting a clinical psychologist or medical psychologist,and perhaps a psychiatrist occsionally, because they know the ramifications of meds better than anyone else, maintaining an objective view of your child's behavior, which it sounds like you are good at already, reading as much as you can about ADHD and working closely with teachers and child care people involved, i.e. babysitters, church staff, coaches, etc.

If you click on my name on mamasource you will also find other posts I've made that contain additional helpful information, which I don't want to go into again here for reasons of time constraints. FYI, we typically give meds only for school, or other activities such as church school, soccer games, etc., where his concentration is important. We don't give them on weekends when one of these activities is not involved, although that can be trying at times.

The good news is that when a parent handles things well, and with the advantage of having meds when needed, most will outgrow their adverse behaviors and they will learn to handle things better on their own, often resulting in less of a need for meds. I also encourage you to utilize professionals with whom you are comfortable. If you don't like the answers you're getting, or if there is a personality conflict, move on. We had one medical psychologist who is very good, but my son's mom did not like her or her rather "hard" edge and somewhat abrupt style, so we tried someone else. It was a great decision because, even though the psychiatrist we went to said many of the same things, it was much easier for Mom to accept, and therefore worthwhile.

Hope this helps. Feel free to write back with questions. I have read a lot, nearly have a Master's in Counseling, plus over one thousand hours working with adults on behavioral issues, and have ADD myself, so believe I am a fairly good resource, although not an expert.

Good luck to you. (And acknowledgement for your wisdom in reaching out for help).

Maybe if you focus on what your son needs you won't feel as bad about it. Some kids really benefit from it, and if he's one of those, you should absolutely try it!

You're trying to do what's best for him. It's not about taking an easy out. (Besides, it's NOT an easy out) Just do your research and know that the benefits for him may be huge!

I think your decision is a hard one - I don't know that I have answers, but maybe another perspective.

ADD is not only hard on the people around the child (who grows up to be an ADD adult, by the way), but it's hard on the child as well. When you're considering treatment vs. not, consider that the great kid that lives inside the ADD shell wants to be the best person he can be, and he knows that his behavior is "iffy" sometimes, and his energy way too high sometimes, and his attention span is non existant sometimes. When considering all of this, consider his quality of life.

There are a lot of things we can do on our own to help the situation before medication is necessary. There is diet and exercise and routine... All of these topics are discussed in books about ADD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder.

There are situations where there is simply nothing we can do to correct the situation because our personal chemistry is out of balance, and medication is the only answer. But even still, with optimal diet, exercise, and routine, we can get by with minimal medication.

I hate being someone who has to be on meds to function, but I also know what life is like for me and everyone around me when I'm not medicated. I live my life as well as possible, to be as healthy as I possibly can, to be on as little medication as possible. And finally, I'm "normal".

there are so many moms and dads that deal with this everyday...
take time to try diet, keeping him busy , lots of sleep with a set scehdule, take time to learn to chill even if its for 20 minutes at a time.
in todays time it is very easy to offer meds and some do really need it. yet what does it teach our kids?
i would try anything first before i did meds.. i see meds as a short term fix for a long term issue...keep searching and trying new options...you never know what could be ale natural could be better then any meds?? think of it as a last resort,,,
dont be afraid to ask as many questions and read... you arent alone..
hang in there.
m

M.,
My daughter is 7 now but I just had testing done on her to see if she really is ADHD. After reading your question and the struggles you go through I would really hope you would at least try one of the more mild medications. I myself after 37 years finally was diagnosed and only if I had known this in my early years. It is now helping tremendously as a full time working mother and wife.
A co-worker had her daughter diagnosed in third grade and literally two days of the medication and she saw a complete turn-around. It not only improved her daughter's school behavior but saved the entire family from turmoil.

Good luck....he may not need it forever especially once he learns other coping methods like I have.

I do not recommend meds. There maybe other things going on, intracranial pressure or restriction, other misalignments, diet, emotional factors. I do an ADD/ADHD protocal that is a lifestyle change and 2 week intensive treatment. You should look for a Pediatric Chiropractor that does cranial sacral work and know nutrition. I have had success with this. A wbsite that might help you find a Dr. www.icpa4 kids.com

There is no "right" answer. I was an elementary school counselor before having my own children, and I saw some children that managed well off meds and others that managed well taking meds. There are a number of different meds out there that are worth trying. Talking to your pediatrician about your feelings and concerns is very important!

I guess my take on this is that if you are not enjoying your child and he is having difficulty at school, then the meds are worth a try. You can always decide that it is not the route that you want to continue. However, ask the pediatrician what a good length of time to test would be. It may be that your son will need to try more that one to find the best fit/the right dosage.

With the idea that you are trying to help your child succeed in school and with friends, it is worth a try. And, it would be nice if it could help you to enjoy him. (I have a child that is VERY spirited and understand the frustartion of feeling as though you have to "survive".)

Good luck!

There are alternatives to prescription medication, and my children responded very well to them. Check out the web site https://secure25.securewebsession.com/painstresscenter.co...

They have info and supplements you can consider for helping your child. In Utah there is also a school that deals in only children with ADD & ADHD (non-violent)children. They offer neuro feedback and a learning environment where the children can take a break when they are getting overwhelmed and need to re-focus. It is called Success Point. I wish you luck, but I would look at all of my options before resorting to a quick fix.

I had this exact struggle with my now 4th grader. We refused medication until about one month ago. However in the many years leading up to meds we tryed a lot of things 1st. We also made sure of his diagnosis. We took him to a couple of different therapists, and pediatricians, we had an eeg brain scan done to see if it was ADHD or if he was just hyper and we also did a sleep study to make sure his symptoms were not cause by lack of sleep. After all this I know that we have checked for everything so I can now fully acept his diagnosis. Even after all that we still kept him off meds for a while but this year we decided that our bias against the drugs was actually having negative affect on our son. His self confidence is bad b/c he can't do things other kids can do. He beats himself up b/c he can't sit still and finish his work like the other kids can. He wants to but b/c he can't it makes him feel stupid, even though he is very bright. We decided to try meds to see and now the pride he has in himself when he comes home having finished his work and getting good marks from his teacher is wonderful to see. So this is a little long but I hope it helps. Look into the med Daytrona, that is what we have him on and it is a very flexable drug that is why we like it. Also we like it because our ped. has never had to remove any one from it b/c of side effects, and we have not seen ant side effects. Don't make the decision lightly, look into all your options, and when and if you do decide to use meds ask for the lowest dose possible to start with. Some Dr. will start higher and then change to lower doses if there are side effects.

My youngest son, now 14, has ADD. He had difficulty staying on task in school. We had to request the school to test him in third grade. (we started to get the ball rolling in 2nd). They developed an IEP -Individual Education Plan. We did not put him on medication until he was in 4th. By then he was expressing his lack of self confidence by retreating within himself. We saw a professional, that diagnosed him as ADD. His teacher notice a huge difference in his personality and work ethics once he started the medication. He became engaged with classwork and other students.
As he grew, we had to change his medication. It is a trial process to find the right amount and the right kind that works best for the child. Since it is a controlled substance, your doctor will see your child at least once a year, if not more often, to make sure there are no side effects. Of course, if you have a concern, contact the doctor.
One woman I spoke with about ADD, tried acupuncture for her child, and it worked for her. She had to go back periodically once things were on track. There are also clinics that work on training the brain- exercising the brain and eyes- that has worked for another child.
I still have to remind myself that his implusiveness and forgetfulness is part of ADD. Inform yourself about ADD the best you can. I found a magazine directed to ADD as helpful. It is called ADDitude. It has success stories about kids and adults dealing with ADD.
Best wishes for what you decide for your child. Do what you think is right for your child. No one else knows them like you.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!! Twice in your request you referred to "not accepting the diagnosis" and "not wanting to drug him". Go with those instincts. How anyone could accurately diagnose a (then) 3&1/2y/o with ADHD is beyond me. There are a LOT of very high energy little boys out there and they DO NOT all need to be dulled with drugs. I have an incredibly high energy 8y/o boy that I have no doubt would have been labeled ADHD if I had ever pursued it. I honestly didn't know if I would survive the 1st 5 o 6 years of his life. Be diligent on working on his character. There's a world of difference between high energy and bad behavior. Correct the behavior and try to channel the energy. (For example, never run upstairs to get something that you can send him to get...use up his energy, not yours :) In my experience it did get better as they get older. I homeschool my son because He's a VERY fast learner with a short attention span and an even shorter sit down span.
If learning to read is a concern, may I please suggest "HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ IN 100 EASY LESSONS" It's available at Borders or Barnes&Noble for about $20. I've had wonderful success with my 1st 2 kids. My high energy 8y/o now reads at a 6th grade level. And honestly, once they master reading, school is a breeze.
I just feel like it's a mistake to dull the minds of our creative, productive, often gifted kids. Could that be contributing to America falling behind the other countries of the world?
Hang in there and try to find a positive spin on his energy to combat the negative feedback he gets from society about the way he was created.
Good luck

First of all I have to tell you that I have absolutely no experience with ADD or ADHD myself, but I keep coming across other people's experiences with it as I've researched different ways to change my lifestlye (eating habits and foods I eat). One of the people I tend to agree with on the overall health problems of the American public is Donna Gates. She is a nutritionist/dietician and developed a diet that focuses on eliminating the excess yeast in our bodies - she has attributed it to vast array of different health issues. It's called the Body Ecology Diet and she has a website where you can get information. You might want to check it out since she has also developed a dietary system for children with ADD, ADHD, and Autism. I'm always a big supporter of changing the diet first because eating better and healthier never hurt anyone. If changing his diet doesn't significantly improve things (and you do have to give time to see if it is working), then I would get the medication.

I am not a big fan of ADHD drugs; however, they do have their place. One of my nephews was severe ADHD and his parents resisted medicating him for a long time. All of their children had been pretty hyper and the mother was very good at working with each of them and teaching them how to control their energy. With the one son they could not teach him to be completely in control of himself. His behavior made it so none of the kids would be his friends and he was put in resource classes because of his inability to pay attention even though he was really smart. Finally the parents decided they needed to medicate him for a while. He was older, early jr high I think, and they only medicated him for a short while. It changed his life. Once he was finally able to know what it felt like to be in control of himself and how much easier life was when he didn't push everyone away with his bad behavior he was able to stay in control once he was off the meds.

I have seen a few kids who are truly ADHD and need some medication just to get by, like my nephew, but far more often I see active boys put on meds for the convenience of others. Just be very careful about using drugs. Don't rule out their use, but be careful before you make the decision.

Has he been diagnosed by a physician? If so, I would follow the doctor's suggestions. My son and now my grandson are both ADDH. I was desperate with my son because the term ADDH had not even been developed yet. There was no ritalyn or anything. I put him on a food coloring free diet and that helped a lot. That is a very difficult wasy to handle it, though, and not all children respond. My grandson is on medication, and although I worry about it, I can see the giant difference it has made in the whole family. I would encourage you to try medication AND family counseling. You need to learn how to deal with this and so does he. I hope this helps.

Thank you for not buying into the medicate every thing. There are lots of things to look at. I don't know if there is a Vitamin cottage up in Greeley but you can go on line also. Puritan's Pride is a good source for supplements.

Any way there is a lot of study showing how food is relating to this. I was about ready to leave the family when my son was in second grade because of his behavior. I knew that was not a reasonable thing to do so I started studying. I did not want the meds either. I removed sugar, wheat (breads) and pasta, from his diet. For lunch he got vegies, fruit, and meat roll ups. (lunch meat, mayo, and cheese) He was so made at me but when his teacher said thank you to me because she started to see a huge difference in him it was worth it. I influenced him so well that now at age 15 He eats healthier than me. And gets on my case. When he does stray and have too much sugar he can even tell the difference. By that I mean one brownie or piece of cake is too much sweets for him.

All of this to say I have been coming across a lot of information regarding GABA it is an amino acid. Try reading this book "The Anxiety epidemic" by Billie Jay Sahley PhD. 1-800-669-CALM.

Remember what we put in is what we get out, not only our mind but our body also.

hang in there he is a joy and you will be able to find it again. Hope this helps.

J.

I was one of those kids, so I can relate!! I started Ritalin in elementary school and took it off and on through high school. But there are so many options now that you can avoid ritalin. When I was a kid that was the only option. There are time release medications now that are taken for those hours at school then when they get home, the medication has worn off so that they can be themselves. I like this idea, but I have never had to use it. The first thing you have to realise is that having ADHD is not your fault, nor are his actions entirely his fault. A good book is "Driven to Distraction" and I would recommend it for you. Eventually I learned to deal with my ADHD without medication. It is still there, but I know how to compensate for the behavior. If I were in your shoes, I would certainly give my child medication because very soon, kids are going to start avoiding him because he cant control his behavior, which can be worse than the symptoms of ADHD. There are many new medications out there, and at least for a time, I would give my child the medication.

Your 5 year old sounds just like my 5 year old. I told my DR. about some of the things that my son was doing, but I wasn’t sure if he was ADD or ADHD, and I hate giving drugs to my kids if it is not necessary. I am sure that there are children that definitely have that problem, but half the time I think that children are labeled with having behavior problems, because we don’t know what to do with them. My DR. told me that he thought my son was just spirited and to get a book on it. So I went to the book store and bought a book called Razing Your Spirited Child a guide for parents whose child is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, energetic. When I started reading this book, I told my friend, “I think that this book was written about my son!” I have not reed the whole book yet, but it is helping. I also enrolled my son in a karate class. Not for the fighting, but for the discipline that the children are being taught. That has also helped. My son will hit his sister with a fist, and when I ask him why he did that, he says “because I wanted to. Since I started him in Karate class, he has not hit his sister with a fist. When he does something that is violent or disrespectful, I tell his sensay and he will get in trouble. I think that that is the best thing, because he doesn’t want to get in trouble with his sinsay.

I also have 2 boys and my son (3) is very active. He has not been diagnosed though. 2 things that may help: While at pre-school/ daycare the teachers give him a squishy ball to help him focus during class/ the lesson. As far a discipline and enjoying him, my husband and I took a Love and Logic class. They are awesome and help parents feel less guilt while disciplining their children. They teach the concept of allowing children to take responsibility for their own actions. Here is the web-site: www.loveandlogic.com
They do seminars around the country but they also have people that are certified to teach in most communities. Plus you can buy the tapes and listen to them. My husband and I rarely get mad anymore and a lot of frustration in disciplining is gone.

Well, I don't have an easy solution, giving a child a pill is less time consuming. However, I would check into adjusting his diet. It is demanding and there are many "no you can't have that" however it is better than drugs, in my opinion. Here is some tips I know: Avoid all sugars, wheat products and refined carbohydrates, sodas, processed foods, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, especially aspartame, though all man-made, chemically derived products are potentially aggravating in the case of ADHD. Also, do not consume corn syrup, alcohol, white bread and white flour products such as pastries, and other commercially-baked goods, or toxic oils such as hydrogenated and trans-fatty oils. Avoid inorganic milk and other dairy products, especially if hydrogenated. Minimize or eliminate beans, corn, cabbage, eggs, garlic, onions, soy and soy products, as well as foods that you react to or are allergic to. Foods high in salicylates such as apples, almonds, oranges, peppers, and tomatoes, should also be avoided or eaten on rare occasions, especially while figuring out the maze of what to eat and not eat while working with resolving symptoms of ADHD. Drink plenty of pure, filtered water throughout the day, and emphasize organic fresh fruits and vegetables, organic grains such as amaranth and quinoa, and organic free-range meats, poultry, and wild-caught fish. Useful nutrients for symptoms of ADHD/ADD include vitamin B-complex, vitamin B3, vitamin B6, folic acid, essential fatty acids (EFAs), omega-3 oils, digestive enzymes, and probiotic supplements such as acidophilus and bifidus bacterium, as well as the chelating supplements, natural cellular defense and chlorella.

I hope this helps. If you would like more spacifics just let me know.

My dd was enitially thought to be ADHD until she reaced negativly to stimulent meds. Then she was diagnosed with Bipolar. There gets to a point that you have to repair the brain so that they can learn discipline and appropriate behavior. We also regulate diet and she does do OT for sensory issues. I do not regret puting my dd on medication although finding meds to stabalize her has been hard. We have had a month of great behavior - I actually got to met my daughter and it was wonderful.

Hi M.,
First, I applaud you for looking for solutions that are not drug-related. Drugs can have wonderful results, but so many people look to them as a first resort, rather than looking for other possibilities as well.

I must confess, I do not know about this firsthand, but I recently heard about a very different approach to ADD/ADHD issues. I am just passing the information on, you'd have to research it and see if it sounds like something that you would like to try. But it is entirely non-drug, non-invasive. Apparently through coaching and use of a WaveMaker machine that causes no discomfort, they have had good results with ADD/ADHD, or so they claim.

Look up WaveMaker coaching, Core Dynamics coaching, ADD/ADHD coaching, or Great Life Technologies and see if you can find a WaveMaker/Core Dynamics coach near you who does this work with people with ADD.

Sorry I can't be more specific, I don't know much about it other than having heard of it, but if you look into it, let us know what you find! I'm very curious!

L.
www.buoyantlife.com

Check out naet.com. There's some really good info there that you might find helpful.

Try the age old vitamin supplement first. Lil Critter Gummi Vites. At any Walmart or Sam's club. You will not regret it!

it may be helpful to use the meds as a tool so he can focus while you and his team of helpers(you,doc, psychologist teachers ect) help him learn behavior managment techniques. as a person who struggled with this disorder as a child it was helpful to have the meds until i got to an age where i had learned to use other methods in the class room and in life such as diet and taking breaks during testing. i had to learn to understand my feelings and how to help myself but i never would have been able to learn these things if i wasn't given the initial help to focus and be calm. it is frustrating as a child to feel so busy when you know you shouldnt be busy.to describe the experience of ADHD, i heard some one describe it this way: imagine you are looking at a gigantic wall full of televisions all tuned to a different station and you are trying to watch them all.that is what it feels like when you mind is going a million miles a minute. it can be very frustrating. kids with ADHD are very bright and special children, willing to take risks and think of things in a new and wonderful way. help him chanel his energy, help him learn what he needs to thrive, if that means meds for a while that may be ok,you can also look at the special diets for kids with attention problems alot of people swear by them. my point being that there are things you can do to help your son, so he can be a source of pride for you and not something you have to survive. trust me , he knows his behavior is frustrating to you and his teachers, if he could change it he would, i know i always felt like a misfit because i was so busy, but as i learned more skills i began to feel special in a good way, not as the problem child. he is young and needs his mama to be his hero and help him get there. stay strong, you can do it! and your son will be forever greatful

I would look into diet. You could check Karen DeFelice's website on enzymes. They really helped her child. Dietary stuff is a major culprit in ADHD.

I would also look at the structure of his day at Kindy and at home. His temperate may need more structure. Is the kindy environment in itself hyperactive? Does the teacher know how to work with such children and channel their energy into something appropriate and nourishing.

Lastly, it is imperative that you try to connect and enjoy your child. He may be reacting to you pulling away from him. I'm reading a great book called Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves which has really helped me to re-establish my connection with my high energy preschooler.

Warmly,
gwen

My friend had a son with this problem, and she stopped feeding him artificial colors, nitrites (like lunch meat and hot dogs), and prepackaged foods. He improved substantially. Now he's just a normal active boy. It costs a little more to buy natural foods, and there are hotdogs without nitrites (but they are greenish gray). It's a little more work for her, but her son is a sweet loving little boy now.

M.,

I am a stepmom to a child who is adhd. When I first met him he was 8. He is now 15. He was on meds at the time I met him and I saw that as a cop out because he knew the difference between right and wrong. I didn't know him in his early years and all I have heard have been similar to what you are going through. I don't think medicating him is the answer but I don't think letting the problem go unnoticed is going to help either. I don't trust the medication because it does have side affects most medications do. Have you taken him to a pshychiatrist? I would try that first see what they say.

I don't want to scare you. My stepson is the kind of person that will milk it and he does anything and everything to aggravate people. I started ignoring that behavior and I have been able to deal with him better. My stepson has more than just adhd problems though and what he went through doesn't mean your son will. I just want you to be prepared to put him on the medication if it gets to that point. I have been in my stepson's life for 8 years and I cannot handle him. He is a trouble maker and he is always doing things that get to the point of being unbearable. I also have a friend whose son is on a more natural remedy for adhd and it seems to work, with out the over chemical stimulation that prescription drugs do. I would see what the doctor says about the natural pills and see if you can't try that first.. They should be in a natural foodstore or even in the pharmacy by the vitamins. I also if I were you get a second opinion from the first doctor you see just to keep all your options open. I hope things work out for you.

Just a side note.. With me being the stepparent I am able to let go and I know that it doesn't help your situation but I just want you to know that not to give up on him like my stepson's real mother did. I took over for her and he doesn't accept that. but I am there for him even when he doesn't want me.

Have you thought about alternative care? Chiropractic, Acupressure, etc. I am a chiropractor and have had children that respond very well to care. Currently I have a 7 year old boy who was diagnosed with ADHD. He was having to go to after school help on a regular basis. After 3 weeks, he no longer needed the after school help. His mom reports that he can focus and concentrate much better. She states that he gets along better with her other children. You might think about it. For more information on chiropractic care you can see my web site... www.althoffchiropractic.com

Hi M., My 11 year old was diagnosed with adhd a couple of years ago. He also has epilepsy and just resently was diagnosed with aspergers (a form of autism).
I put him on ridilin for a couple of weeks and he did calm down but he was sick (headache, stomach ache). and he kept saying his heart was beating really fast, even though on the outside he looked calmer. I took him of cuz he did not like it and he was sick on it.
Everyone responds different so that is my experience with it.
what kind of behavior does he have? maybe he was misdiagnosed. My son was.

My son, age 7, just began meds for inattentive subtype ADHD. Since he was a preschooler, I have gotten feedback suggesting that I medicate him for many of the same reasons you suggest. Now that he is in 1st grade, his differences (which I grow more and more convinced he is completely unable to control) have made him a bit of a social outcast due to the fact that he is constantly being called out by the teacher for not paying attention (and thus other kids have labeled him a "Bad Kid"). For that reason alone, we decided to try the medication, and it has worked for him. The teacher has said that he now completes his work without constant nagging/threats and is better able to stay on task with the rest of the group. If you think you will try medicating your son at some point, I would suggest doing it before 1st grade, when peer influences take stronger hold, and his self esteem is more likely to be affected. I can relate completely to your description of "surviving" your child and how he pushes your buttons. Hang in there and good luck with your decision!

My doctor recommended a book for me when I had my newborn because I was worried about her sleep habits. "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. When I read the book he suggested that some ADD OR ADHD problems may just be the result of not enough sleep or inappropriate sleep habits. It was only a theory but you may want to get the book and read what he says about it and try some of the sleep habit ideas and see if it helps at all.

Hi,
I can totally relate. My son is now 15 and still has ADHD issues, although they have become a little better since he has started going through puberty. He drove me nuts as a small boy. It was embarrassing every time we went to a store and the workers would basically ask me to control him. I wished I could! One thing we found to help him in school while he was in Kindergarten was to allow him to chew gum. It gave him constant motion in his mouth and that seemed to help him stay focused. At home we bought him a little tramp for in the house and a swing from his ceiling in his bedroom. Constant motion seems so calming. By third grade we did medicate. He could not seem to focus or retain information any other way. The meds do have side effects, but it seemed like the only way for him to learn at the time. He remained on medication until after his 7th grade year. He has learned some self control on his own. Again gum is a key for him now. He also cuts up straws and chews on them. When he comes home he still tends to act aggressively and picks on his siblings seemingly to just get energy out. We are used to him and it doesn't annoy us much.
There are a lot of great books and ideas out there. You need to find something that works for you. You sound very frustrated with your son, and you don't want to spend his life being annoyed with him all the time.

I am an elementary teacher and I have seen the positives and negatives of medication. I however, am not a fan of it. Really do your research. I have read in some places that a certain type of the medicine prevents the children from later joining the Army or even playing college sports. I would hate to have his choices limited because of the dosage.

My stepson also was recommended to be put on the medicine and he is only 7. I think 5 and 7 is still too young to place him on something he will be dependent for the rest of his life. Are there any natural alternatives?

I have seen so many students put on that medicine and they become zombies.

We put my stepson in Twe Kon Do and that has helped him learn to focus better. Boys are a lot different in the classroom. I would try a few more things before starting him at such a young age. Doctors prescribe that to anyone and everyone. If something is too easy to get, I wonder why. Good luck in your decision. You ultimatly know what is best for your sons.

Have you had him tested for food allergies? I know this may sound crazy but a good friend of mine just told me about another little boy whom was thought to have he had ADD, but what was really going on is he was highly allergic to blue dye. Every time he had anything with blue dye in it he would bounce off the walls, do a complete 360. His parents and DR. thought he had ADD. Fortunately his parents did some allergy testing at an urging of a friend and found out it was the reaction to the dye. I spoke further to my friend how is in the medical field and she say's it is very common for kids who have certain food allergies to be misdiagnosed with ADD. I SAY CHECK IT OUT, it wouldnn't hurt to see if your son has a food allergy

M.,

have you considered Strattera as an aternative to the amphetamines (Ritalin etc.)I have two girls, 12 and 7 yrs old and they both have ADD (not the hyper kind)and they have both anger fits and they have a hard time to focus on anything when they are not taking there medicine. We notice instantly if they didn't take the meds in the evening. The 7 yr old can't even focus on getting dressed in the morning. The 12 yr old wakes up biting everyones head off. On Strattera the girls are sweet and loving and can get along with everyone without looking like a stormcloud and wanting to bite there head off. Also we get their chores done without complaining when the meds are in their bodies. 12 yr old has been on Strattera since she was 5 1/2. Go to WebMD at http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drug-64629-Strattera+Oral.aspx... (just cut and paste this URL in your browser) and check the drug out for yourself. Good Luck, BM

There is nothing wrong with medication if it is used properly. Most boys are hyperactive-but the inability to focus and aggressive behavior is troubling. If he is getting enough sleep, eating a well balanced diet etc etc and he is still having trouble I don't think medication is a negative thing. My brother was very active growing up and was smart, but couldn't focus in school. After he started taking Ridalin he did much better in school and in general being able to control impulsive behavior. He started with the Strattera when it became available and liked it better than Ridalin. I would definately talk to more than one doctor and make sure he gets the right diagnosis and dosage.

Look into getting him started on Strattera. It is a non stimulant medication and it works wonders. My son has both ADD and ADHD and High Functioning Autism, and a few other things that no one can diagnose. We didn't want to "drug" him either and make him a zombie, but the strattera has worked so well. He is now in 4th grade and able to be in a regular classroom most of the time and goes to spec.ed for math and reading. However, since we started him on the meds, his behavior and concentration level has improved greatly. He still has short angry outbursts, but they are controllable now. Take him to his pediatrician and try it. It might make your life a lot easier. It sure has helped us.

M.,
Before you do anything, I would encourage you to visit these two websites: www.sensory-processing-disorder.com or www.sinetwork.org. I am not trying to diagnose but I have a 14 yr odl son who was labeled pre-school disabled, (fine with me it got him lots of assistance in school) had a developmental pediatrician say he was ADHD and wanted to give meds...I just couldn't go there...keep looking for other answers...Found Dr. Lucy Miller who helped explain what my child was dealing with...Today he is a successful eighth grader, has a IEP meaning we get to say a lot about how school works for him...we did a vitamin therapy developed by Diane Craft...www.dianecraft.com...helped him tremendously,also did the allergy elimination acupucture...and the Brain Gym...while you are trying to figure this out just try this...massage his body at night and in the morning before he get going...helps stimulate his muscles and brain...and you can call me if you want..###-###-####...Also it was in third grade that I finally realiozed tha this child was going to take much more of me to become the person he could be...So good luck and give him lost of love because in the end, with the challenges he face he needs it! C. S...Evergreen, CO

M.,
Sounds like a very tough situation. Have you looked into changing his diet? I have heard that there are some links between diet and ADD. It would at least be worth a try before medication. The main culprits seem to be preservatives and artificial coloring and flavoring (found in TONS of foods). A friend of mine had a child that was very hyper and she changed dramatically after drastically changing her diet. A natural diet is a good thing anyhow and would not hurt to try. I would hesitate with the medication at least until you have tried other options.

Wow, you are in my shoes 2 years ago. my son is 7 and is on ritalin to help what looks like ADHD but my son was also severly premature and had some difficuly with breathing. We did testing down at children's this fall and have found that we are going to continue the ritalin to see what behaviors we see. A side note too, I am a massage therapist and do not like drugs at all, but I have decided that my son needs a chance to see what this can do for him. Like you I have another son who is 3 1/2 and very smart. The older one has a time making friends, but he loves to write words. If you feel like you want to talk one on one, feel free to find me through my business . I really feel for you and I think, You need to follow your gut. God Bless.
M.

I have heard that a suppliment such as "grape seed extract"
Helps those that have adhd or add.. You can get it at a health food store..

Also By eliminating the toxins in your home can help. I am sending you a link to my blog on a healthy home quiz that might help.. There is only 8 questions so it is real quick just make sure you read the answers..

http://W.-adventures.blogspot.com/search?q=healthy+home+quiz

If you would like to know where I get my healthy products I would be happy to share that with you. My son has SID just by changing my everyday products made a huge difference in his life. He is more focused and less agitated..

Also if you use lysol of any product in your home- get rid of it because it contains phenol, dyoxines and agent orange which has been linked to hyper activity in children. I know this to be true because I use it in my home and when I stopped my son stopped with the bouncing off the wall behavior.

I completely agree with you about the long term effects of medicine. Medicine was never an option for us with our son because I knew that one day he would have to learn to deal with things without medicine..

Hope I have helped!

C.
____@____.com

As a ADD adult I can reassure you that there is helpful tips out there. There are many books I would recommend to you first... Dr. Edward Hallowell is excellent an excellent writer, ADD person, and down to earth. "Driven to Distraction" is the first book. Also, have you tried a more structured routine with him? ADD people do better in a structured environment. Encourage and promote his positive qualities... this will boost his self-esteem. Of course, medication is an option but works well along with the structure, time management, psychotherapy to help you and him better understand what ADD is and how it affects not just him but the whole family.

My sister went throught he same thing with my nephew, She chose to start him on medication, they started with the lowest possible dose and then increased to meet his needs. ADD meds have gotten a bad rep because of Doctors who did the oppostite and ended up overmedicating children, producing the "zombie" behavior people associate with ADD meds. My nephew is know so much happier, he can concentrate and learn and he has more friends! He is not getting in trouble as much which as done wonders for his self assteem!! I would reccomend visting with his teacher, school counselor and his doctor. It has been a team effort for my family!! Then if you decide to try it, I would reccomend looking for a doctor that specializes in ADD/ADHD. Good Luck!! and try not to let the stigma of "drugging your child" keep you from getting the help he needs.

I don't have any first hand experiences with my own children but I think I may be able to help with some opinions from what I have heard and observed. One of my best friends in high school was ADHD she used to take Ritalin it was the only thing that helped her study and focus in school. Although she never tried to do any kind of diet or natural cure that I know of. Another problem that she ran into was using the pills and drinking alcohol. Not that I am saying your little one is going to become a drinker but I know kids do crazy things cause it has not been too long since I was one. :0) She still drank but usually got sick because of the pills and even got scared enough to call the cops on herself because she thought she was going to die. Another thing is my 8 year old niece possibly has ADHD as well. The Dr's wanted to test her for it but her parents are not sure if they want her to be labeled with that. The problem with that is because they don’t know they aren't doing anything to try to help the situation. She has very low self esteem because her friends think she is too emotional and she says she gets in trouble everywhere she goes so she doesn't feel like anyone loves her. She actually said to her dad that she is afraid of knifes because she is scared that if she gets a hold of one that she will hurt herself. My sister has done some research on it and found that older people that have been through taking the pills when they were young to get through school said they hated it. The pills did help them to focus and do better in school but it took away their personality, who they were. The pills changed them. in the parents eyes is seems like a good change because they listen and behave better but how is it going to make them feel? If you are not going to give him the pills then I urge you to be very serious about other options!

Hi M.,

I am a mother of 4 boys and one girl. First let me say to you "I understand". When my second son was 6 he was diagnosed with ADHD and it was horrible. It got so bad, he even would say things like he wanted to die, he was stupid, why did I love him, etc.
Here is what I can tell you, medicating was the worst decision i ever made. I medicated him for two years...and it was horrible.
I made the decision that no matter what it took I was going to get him off the medications and help him.
I researched the internet, found all kinds of studies on diets and ADHD, other things to try like exercise, and homeopathic remedies.
There is a product called Attend by Vaxa that is available through a natureopathic dr that is amazing. He is located in Littleton should you be interested.
There is another product offered through Agel Enterprises that has been a life saver for us called Ohm. It has helped with the focus piece better than anything I have used. This is only available through direct sales, and again if you are interested I can get you the info.
In the end, love your son. He hates this as much as you do...but good news, it can get better!
Blessings to you both,
L.

M., I am the mother and grandmother of ADD kids. I completely relate to everything you are saying. My prefered med is adderal, I did not like rittlen. (i can't spell). My grandson(who lives with me) was on two doses a day, because his first dose would ware off when he came home from school and we still had to deal with all the things you just mentioned. The meds make a world of difference. you can't beleive how normal he can be. How he can finally learn to control his anger. how much fun he is to be around. We waited until my grandson was in 2nd grade, then had to pay for tutuoring to catch him up in school. We also tried natural medications they didn't work. Just make sure he gets enough food, lots of meat and with zinc. Medicated kids don't eat as much and tend to be short. (beef will help that my son is 6 ft but I was worried for a while). What ever you decide please remember he is incapable of controling himself at this time. You are incapable of not be frustrated. Those that don't have ADD kids don't really understand that.

T.

Hi M.,

After reading what you wrote, I feel as if I am looking in the mirror. My oldest son was diagnosed at age 3 with ADHD. At that time I was at my wits end and about to come apart at the seams. I didn't want to be angry with him all the time, but nothing I did (and believe me I tired TONS of different approaches) never seem to get through to him. My second son is also like yours, 'normal', but because of his brother's actions it seemed he didn't get the attention he needed or deserved.

With some guidance from our church leaders, we took our oldest for testing. When we got the diagnosis back, we were a little taken aback. When medication was suggested, I was hesitant like you to do so before I had done my 'homework'. What I found in the research I did is that ADHD is a real disease. It literally is all in their heads! I say this because the reason they have ADHD is because they have a brain chemical imbalance and are unable to make the chemicals necessary to inhibit the impulsivity, hyperactivity etc. So, medication provides a way to give them what their brains need.

There are many drugs on the market, and it was by trial and error that we found what worked for our son. We started off on Ritalin, but found that to not be affective for long. We tried Stratera (which did NOT work), and finally found Concerta. My son is now 12 years old and doing well in school. My husband and I don't plan on him having to be on drugs his whole life and so at a certain point, we have discontinued upping the dosage as he grows and we have him in behavioral therapy to help him find coping strategies that will work for him. The drug gives him the time he needs to figure these strategies out, not so that he will be on them for life.

Some of the most interesting studies I have found said that if children with brain chemical imbalances (like ADHD, etc) are not medicated, then when they are older, they turn to illegal drugs to self medicate. Now I don't know about you, but I prefer the first choice, where we can monitor their usage and progress.

A book too that may prove helpful is the "Out of Sync Child". When you find out that other people living with this disorder and people living with them go through the same things, it will help you feel like you are not alone and the feelings that you are having are normal. It will help you move past them.

I hope some of this helps. Best of luck!

My husband has ADHD and I so wish that his parents had medicated and treated it right when he was young. He was never able to live up to his full potential because he needed to be taught differently. He didn't finish high school and his probelms continued well into his adult life. He got more and more agressive as time went on. He is finally now treated for it and it is the best thing that has happened. he finally feels normal. You know they have a lot of new medicines out there that aren't a stimulant if that is your concern. Definitely take him to the doctor and see what help is available. You will finally be able to see your child for who he really is.

Speaking as a mom, yes it is scary to have your child on a drug, but you have to realize that ADHD is real and in my opinion (as a nurse) you need to give him a chance at being normal. His ADHD is going to affect his life in every aspect-especially his social life. Think of those consiquences...no friends, everyone thinks he's weird, sibling rivalries? I know you are suffering, but don't you think he is too? Think of the life you will be giving him if you have him take the medication. Being on such a medication he will be monitored very closely. The doctor will put him on scheduled drug free days (most likely in the summer time when he's not in school). I have an 11 week old baby and I didn't want to put him on medicaiton either, but since I have his quality of life has changed so much. By the way, did your ADHD child have difficulty sleeping as an infant, baby and toddler? Dr. Weisbluth's (a well known pediatrician)research shows that those children who have or had difficulty sleeping become very moody and/or hyperactive with ADHD.

Hi M.,
My almost nine year old has been on 5 mg Aderall since October. His teacher is very happy with the results. He's able to control himself now, where as before, he could not. I sure didn't want to "drug" him, but now I'm glad we took that route. Our family physician has been great throughout the whole process.

I was in your shoes not so long ago. I am a single mom to a spit-fire of a 7 year old. I knew from the time he was about 3 that there was something very special about him. He was always on the go, never slowed down, always moving. It was a challenge to get him to sleep too. When he would focus on a task he was VERY focused. After having be essentially expelled from an in-home daycare and then from a private Christian daycare, I decided to seek medical help. As his mom I had know in my heart for a long time. But was ashamed to seek help because I didn't want anyone to think I was drugging my child just to make my life easier (although his dad does think this). I knew there was the whole social stigma and negativity surrounding medicating children for behavioral issues. But I also knew that my child was suffering because he couldn't control himself.

So I bit the bullet and sought medical help for him/us. Be persistent and willing to try different medications. It may take trying a few to eventually land on the right one for your son. Also read read read. There are a ton of terrific internet resources available. As a mom you need to trust yourself and your heart. That is key. Find a doctor (child psychiatrist) you can talk open with and feel comfortable with. That is vital.

Also know that ADD/ADHD may not be your son's final diagnosis. We just learned last week that my boy is more likely Bi-polar than ADHD. And the more I learn about bi-polar, the more I agree with that diagnosis. It saddens me terribly, but now I feel we are on the right path and can make more headway in treating him.

Keep a journal of doctor visits, foods eaten, medications taken, and behaviors. This will help you and the doctor work as a team.

I don't know if you're a religious person or not, but if you are, pray! God made your son special for a reason. God is in control. God has a purpose. Pray for God's guidance for you as a mom and also that you will allow God to be in control of the situation. This is the hardest thing for me to do. I will be praying for you and your family.

Blessings!

Kimmi
Arvada, CO

I have a son who is now 6 and has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was 4. I now have him on meds and it is a lifesaver. I was very nervous about it and did as much alternative fixing as possible. We did counseling, etc and nothing seemed to work, it just got worse. In fact, it effected his focus at school so much that he did not learn what he needed to and therefore I had to hold him back from first grade and he is doing a 2nd year of Kindgarten. Dr. Leavell is a great pediatric neurologist and is very up to date with his advise, conferences, etc.....I would be happy to share more specifics if you are interested, but honestly if it wasn't a daycare provider and a teacher that suggested looking into this, I would still have been in your shoes. It has caused huge issues w/his sibling and relationship as a blended family. If it's not addressed now, I guarantee it will be worse later in life. Hope this helps, and I am happy to give more details of medicine, behaviors, etc if you need it. Thanks. N. B

Dear M.,
I understand your feelings of not wanting to put your son on medications so early. I too used to feel the same way. My husband and I care for kids that are at risk or need. We have had a 10 year old boy that lived with us for 1 1/2 years and loved him dearly. When he first came they said he had also been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder but we felt with lots of love and attention we could keep him off medications. He did great for the first year and continued to make huge achievements in school. Then something clicked. Part of me thinks he was really missing his mom who had abandoned him. The last 6 months has been extremely hard because his disorder has hit so hard. I remember the sweet boy he was when he first came and wonder what has happened to make everything change. He started hitting and refusing to attend school. Everything we tried didn't work. By the time I wanted to get serious about getting him evaluated and on medications, it was too late. It was a very hard decision for my boss to let him go but we had to think about the other kids in our care. Looking back, I wish I had started to get help a lot sooner. Part of me thinks I failed him. I fear he will end up in foster care and possibly not get the help he needs. I now leave it in God's hands. My advice to you is to proceed getting your son the help he needs to bring back sanity to your life and his. He doesn't want to behave this way anymore than you want him too. Find a doctor who will be active in his treatment and is willing to switch around medications to find what best works for your son. You have a tough road ahead and my prayers are with you.

God Bless,
W.

Hi M.,

I think you are doing the right thing by not medicating your child. There can be so many side effects from the meds. Check out the testimony of this mother whom my husband and I met through our home business. I think that will help you...

Dear David

I would love to tell you about my son Michael. He has struggled most of his life with completing simple tasks like, getting ready for school, completing homework, and cleaning his room. He was not able to make and keep friends and had problems with his fine and gross motor skills. Loud noises bothered him and he had difficulty sitting still. At times he was angry and difficult to be around. My twin sister is a Naturopathic Doctor and together we tried various things to help him....I did not want to put him on medication. She had me try a dairy and gluten free diet and we did notice some improvement. We decided to take a look at his brain chemistry. The results from test were consistent with the brain chemistry of those with autism.

In the summer of 2006, I was introduced to Xango and it has been life changing for Michael. A friend gave me a bottle to try and I looked at the website to see what to do with it. When I saw that it was helping people with ADHD and Autism I decided to have Michael try it. After two weeks of him taking one ounce of it in the morning, he came to me and said "Mom, I don't know what is in that juice but I feel great?" I started to notice that he was riding his bike (something he was not able to do before) and he was happy and fun to be around (no more rage). I realized that he had been depressed before and this was no longer the case. When school started I was waiting for the usual concerns from his teachers, but didn't hear a thing from them. I decided to go visit him at lunch time (he hated lunch in the past because no one wanted to sit with him). I walked into the lunch room expecting to see him alone and saw him surrounded by a group of kids who were laughing with him and enjoying his company....I stood there with tears running down my face, I was so happy for him. As the year progressed, his teachers asked me what I was doing with Michael because he was improving so much.....he even made the honor roll! Now, he completes his homework on his own without being asked and in the morning he is able to get himself ready and out the door on his own. Having a child like Michael is a challenge for the entire family and I would tell anyone in this situation to give this juice a try. It has been life changing for us. I wish I would have known about it years ago!

Diane Stamper

If this has peaked your interest, go check out our website at www.davidstephen.themangosteenrevolution.com
You will be asked to enter your name, phone number and email address, but only my husband and I have access to this information. It will allow us to get in touch with you and assist you further by answering any questions you may have.

Take care and talk to you soon!
A. (also a mother of 2 active boys age 6 and 4 1/2!!!)

Dear M.,

I have to say being a mother of children with those same medical issues. I would get him the help he needs as it only gets worse. I have a daughter who is bipolar and ADHD and a son who is dystymic and ADHD. It has gotten to the point that if my children are not medicted they are sent home from school.

I hated the fact of putting them on medication, but it has helped them in the long run. They are able to focus and function almost normal. That is a good thing, They also have very good grades in school. I know a lot of people who refuse to medicate thier child and the child is so hyper that they are always into trouble, because of being bored and not focusing.

Children that are ADHD cannot focus and they are always on the go. Please do yourself a favor and get them the help they need so they can live a fairly normal life. Some children are lucky and are able to grow out of it. While others are on meds the rest of thier life. I do not regret getting my children the help they need, one is 19 and the other is 15. Prayers and hugs to you. God bless. Dee

I've written an article on this exact topic. It poses SIX non-pharmaceutical OPTIONS that I would recommend trying before going the drug route. Check out:

"Behavior Problems and Alternatives to Medicating Children"
http://www.greatideasforkids.com/articles--advice/newslet...

There are links and resources presented with each choice. Also, if you are looking for a doctor who will be patient and dedicated to working with you. I strongly recommend Dr Roy of Mindful Pediatrics in Boulder (just 1 minute from the first exit/Table Mesa on the 36). You can tell him I referred you.

Given that the drug-route seems to be very hard to get off once the child is on it, I would suggest that it's worth 6 months investigating alternatives.

Be well,
..J.

J. Saliba
Editor of GreatIdeasForKids.com
Free weekly newsletter of activities, events & ideas for kids 8 and under in the Boulder/Denver area

They just did a story on our local news last night regarding this and you can hear the stories of how a boy was before and see the "after" he was medicated for ADHD.

It's a two-part story, so here's the link to the first part:
http://www.myfoxutah.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsession...
From there you can link to the second half.

Best wishes to you and your family.