9 Months Pregnant with a 14 Month Old.

Hi, C.,

My kids were born one year and ten weeks apart. I am a part-time student. My husband is out of town most of the time, so I don't count on him to take care of the kids. As such, I had to hire a part-time babysitter after my second was born. I'm not as organized as I was when I had only one child, but I forgive myself for not being as organized and strive to become more organized. I also hired a professional organizer to help me once.

Good luck,
Lynne E

She can still 'help' with her baby brother by 'picking' his clothes out each day. Have two outfits out that you would have him wear and then she can pick which one she likes. Or she can hand you a diaper. Good luck! They'll grow closer as the age together.

You've already received some great advice. When my youngest grandchild was born, I made slings for myself and my daughter (http://www.wearyourbaby.org/Default.aspx?tabid=121) and the fabric I bought was wide enough to make a small matching sling for my youngest granddaughter to carry her 'baby' the same way my daughter and I would carry her baby brother. She loved it :)

A tip I didn't see mentioned is to be sure not to fall into the trap of spending time with the older child when the younger one is sleeping or being cared for by someone else. That makes the older child want the younger child out of the picture! When baby is sleeping, that's the time for napping or catching up on housework or showering. If you say things like, "when the baby is awake, we can all" ... take a walk or read a book or whatever, that will make the older child look forward to her baby participating.

Finally, in preparation for the birth, since 2nd babies can come fast, I always have my clients prepare the older child for seeing and hearing active labor. You can make a game of making the very loud sounds of labor with your daughter ... moo like a cow, moan and sway, etc. When my daughter had her 2nd baby, her labor was only 1 hour and 45 minutes from start to birth! All of our plans for the older child to be picked up by her other grandmother were out! She got to watch the whole thing ... and LOVED it :) And the noises my daughter made while pushing didn't scare her because we had been 'playing' the birth noises game for weeks before the birth actually happened :)

My children are 15 months apart and they couldn't be better friends :)

Good luck and happy birthing!

Hi, first off my boys are 15 months apart and here is some of the things that worked best for us:
-We had visitors greet our older children first before acknowledging the baby. (The baby doesn't know the difference for the first few months but the older children know when they are not given attention)
-I have our 2 yr old help as much as he wants...help getting the diapers or the blankies etc.
-When your nursing or bottle feeding, if your little girl wants to sit next to you with her favorite toy or book she will still feel that your loving her too; while she can be close to the baby also.
-Give your older child a 10-15 min alone time maybe when baby is sleeping, so that you can read or play together and make her feel special.
Try to remember that if you are calm and peaceful your children will act the same way too, okay well most of the time LOL. Best of luck and congratulations on enjoying the moments!

I am a grandma and have been through what you are going to be experiencing (well, almost. My first two were 21 months apart). Here are a couple of things that might help! Remember that your current baby is still a baby and will be for sometime yet. Regression is to be exepted (the oldest will want to be a baby). There is plenty of time to take her off the bottle or pasifier or switch her to a big girl bed. Find as many pictures of our daughter being held by anyone and everyone and put copies (make color copies at the copy store) in a little book (something that she can hold). Sit and talk to your daughter about the new baby and how much she was held (the book) and how much her new brother will be held. She will understand more than you think. Buy her a new baby that she will receive when her new brother arrives. Make her part of the celebration. Have a party (maybe grandma or a friend can help her make some for the party). Be careful of how you switch her from her crib to a big girl bed. If she really likes her crib, you just might have to have two for a while. Also, when your son is older, there maybe some toys that you need two of so that each can have their own. If he likes her baby doll, buy him one. All boys need to learn to be fathers and caring for babies is part of that. When our daughter had her second (large space between)daughter, she had her first be the first to come in and see the new baby.
Last but not least, vaccum the floor, as they live there and wash the clothes and dishes, the rest you can get to when you have time. If you have a friend with children the same age, you could help each other clean and cook. You go to her house one day a week to clean and cook (maybe make several meals) and another day she comes to your house and helps you! I could not have made it without my good friend Zoe.
Relax! They will live through this and so will you.

It is really important for you to allow your daughter to be involved with your baby that is on it's way. Let her hold him, help take off the babies diaper and clothes. Help in any way and praised at how well she helps and how important she is. Then she won't resent her baby brother. Also if you are going to bake something when you are feeling better. Let her put the ingredients in the mixing bowl. She will feel needed and loved. My sister had her two 14 months apart the one mistake she says she did is the baby always got more attention as they were growing up. If she were to do it again she would really try hard to create things to help the older one feel more important. I had my first two 20 months apart. The older a girl the baby a boy. I made sure she felt important to my husband and I and that we needed her help washing and dressing her brother. She learned to enjoy having him around because she felt so important! They grow up playing together with dolls yes dolls and he is now married with a baby of his own and he helps change his baby and is a great Dad, and is applying to med school soon. loveandlogic.com is a great place to start. It will help you from the start all the way to the crazy teens. You can even call them and ask questions about some difficult situations and they will have a great answer. They really work. Good luck. M. R

Dear C.:

My kids are 18 months apart and my husband and his brother were 16 months apart. Both groups of siblings are very close because the older child quickly forgets having been an only. If you think about it, kids who are more spread apart in age are MORE likely to have conflict because the older child has had several holidays and events where they were the center of attention (which isn't such a good thing for anyone!).

I found there was little chaos because we just took it easy. I tandem nursed my children for a long time (and they still feel like a team!). We laid in bed late in the morning, nursing and reading stories, then we went outside for some sunshine, napped on blankets on the grass, took long walks...all very simple things that kept life simple and easy for me.

A few things I did to "prepare": I made sure everyone knew that they were NOT to mention the words "jealousy" or anything to instigate trouble between my children. I didn't allow anyone to hold those mysterious whispered conversations with me when my children were in the room (they think the children can't hear?!) I had my daughter introduce her brother to people the first time they came. If she wasn't in the mood, I'd say, "This is PJ's new brother," within her hearing.

I never referred to being older or younger as better. I just said things like, "These are your special toys because you're old enough to play with them safely. Brother won't be ready for these for awhile so you must keep them in your room to keep him safe." I NEVER said things like, "You're too big for that, let your brother have it," because that would have cast a negative light on her development (in her mind). If everything is said matter-of-factly, then the children never sense any competition (because there IS none!).

Most of all, don't be anxious about any of this! It will be wonderful and you must focus on enjoying your children!

Best wishes,

M.

I have kids 18 mos apart and my oldest didn't understand the concept of "baby" when little one arrived. He wasn't able to help and we had a TON of other chaos going on at the time (we moved from RI to HI, my SIL got married and we were ALL part of the wedding party, etc..) so having any of us emerge on the other side was nothing short of miraculous!
After we got through the initial malstraum of activity, there were a couple of things I did...
1. Enrolled oldest in Gymboree. I didn't have the energy to chase him all over the jungle gyms that were too big for him at the park. Gymboree was a safe, enclosed space for him to run off extra energy and it was all about HIM!! :-)
2. Get a frontpack snugli/Bjorn. This is a lifesaver when getting everbody into the car. Oldest goes in first so as not to do the marathon course around the parking lot...
3. As soon as feasible, start keeping a schedule. Your kids dictate the activities and the time, it's more for your benefit and sanity to know what to expect and when. I put everything on there - activities (with contact numbers in case I have to cancel), feedings, naptimes, poops, medicines (particularly ones I don't give all the time like motrin & tylenol so I don't OD one of them.) If you want to have me send you a sample, let me know. I didn't start his until a couple of months after the second arrived.
4. Join a Moms club if you haven't already done so. Helps keep you active and takes the pressure off for planning activities for the older one.
I have a few other things I do but I think this may get you started. If you want more, let me know!
Congratulations!

My two boys are 15 mos, 10 days apart. I don't have any magic tips for you, except to get help from family or friends if at all possible. At the time that my second baby was born, my husband (military) was working very long hours (as usual) and was not able to take any time off - but fortunately the baby was born on the first day of a 4 day weekend for him :). We were living some distance away from "home," but I had several family members take turns and come stay with me for a few days each to help during the first month. I don't know how I would have survived without their help! After the first month, I was on my own, but I adjusted to handling two babies alone after another month or so.

It is not easy, there is no way around that, but I would like to share some of the wonderful aspects of having two babies so close together. My oldest son adores his little brother (and vice versa). I was fortunate to have my babies at home, and my oldest was in his room with his grandparents when his little brother first "arrived" in the room down the hall (don't worry, he was not a witness to the birth!:). His grandparents had just put him to bed when they heard the new baby cry out, so they got him up and he got to meet his new little brother within the first few minutes of his birth. My oldest was a little bit bewildered - no matter how much I talked to him about the new baby coming and the baby in my tummy, I don't think he had a clue. But I think I will always remember that moment when my boys met each other. My oldest just wanted to play with the baby, which hasn't changed. And he gave the baby kisses and wanted to "nuzzle" with him, which has continued to this day also (they are 3-3/4 and 2-1/2 now).

The first year or so was tough training ground to get my oldest to learn that he needed to be gentle and careful with his little brother. I had to watch them constantly - not because he would hurt the baby intentionally, but only because he didn't understand yet that his playfullness could hurt the baby. I got an extra playpen to keep in the living room so I could put the baby in there if I needed to step out of the room for a moment. For the first 1/2 year or so, I couldn't leave the baby on the floor and look away for a moment if big brother was in the room.

My oldest son is very nurturing and has always tried to help me take care of his little brother. I'm sure you will have this with your daughter, too, because girls are usually naturally that way. As they have gotten older, my oldest really can help me with things, almost just in time for the little one to learn to do things himself! :)

Another benefit of having them so close together is not having to deal with jealousy, from what I have experienced. Sure we have some squawbles over toys and they do their fair share of trying the "mine" game (which doesn't get them very far in our house) but I can't say that I have ever seen anything that looks like jealousy (of course, the day may still be coming). We make a great deal of effort to give lots of affection, praise and encouragement to each boy. I come from a family of 7 children and my mom was a single working mom for many of my younger years, so I know I didn't get a lot of "attention" or time with my mom, but one thing I do know for sure (and have always known to my recollection) is that she loves each one of us unconditionally and there is not one of us who has ever been more favored than another - my mom has always said that each one of us is her favorite, and I believe her!

One other bit of advice is that having a daily routine was very helpful for us. We attempted a routine from birth for both babies, and by the time they were about 3 months old, they were nicely settled into a routine which gradually changed as they got older. This was a life-saver for me once we had two babies. My first baby dropped the morning nap right around the time his little brother was born, but I was able to get them on overlapping afternoon nap times by the time the second baby was a few months old, then after another few months they had the same afternoon nap time. Once the new baby was established in his routine, his morning nap time was a nice, quiet time for me and my older son to have some time together. They still take the afternoon nap at the same time(though my oldest will often only "rest" in his bed and not actually sleep) and that little break in the afternoon is most welcome and needed!

From what I have read and what I have experienced first-hand, routine is very helpful for children. They have a sense of security that comes not only from loving parents, but from predictability in their day. If you don't already do this and would like any tips about getting them on a "schedule," let me know and I can either give you my own version or refer you to some resources that I followed.

Overall, you are in for a wonderful experience. I often get stressed beyond belief, but I have two amazing little boys who love each other. It is a really tough job as a parent, but my boys are so happy to have each other, and I am glad that I was able to give each one of them the gift of their sibling. I'm still living in the midst of some difficult days (just wait till you have two of them throwing tantrums!) but I know that when they are grown, I will most likely look back fondly on these days, and I won't regret a moment of it.

Congratulations and best wishes to you! Oh, and if you need any help looking for a double stroller, I can share my double stroller journey with you. :)

Hi, my girls are 14 months apart (now 2 and 10 months). I think the best advice I got was for the moments when you just have to choose between one kid and the other (in general), choose the older one. The baby doesn't really know the difference, and the older one needs to know she's still important. And spend quality time with the older one when the little one is napping, at least 15 minutes. The other thing my husband and I do now is take 'dates' with the girls, and I get the older one since I need that time with her (if you're nursing, this will be possible after the first few months). Your house won't be clean :) Take people up on their offers for help (dinner, cleaning, etc). My MIL stayed with us for the first week and that was a life saver (we get along well, so it wasn't added stress). It will get ALOT easier, and I personally think that having them this close together is actually easier in the long run, since they entertain each other now, and will be into the same things at the same time later. Best of luck!
S.

My oldest 2 children are 13 months apart. (I had them when I was 20 and 21.) We hadn't planned for them to be so close together, but they had other ideas. :)

Of course, you can't explain it to a child that young. We had just moved to a new house, too, so she was already stressed. The positive part of this is that the oldest is also too young for typical toddler behaviors like asking to send the baby "back." They tend to accept the baby's existance more readily.

My oldest was in love with the baby from the moment we brought the baby home. She quickly learned to say "Bebe Tay!" her way of saying Baby Terry. She shared her toys (sometimes too much!) pushed the swing, and gave hugs and kisses. I often went to pick the baby up and found the bassinet full of toys big sis had put there. Since I had a C-section and was gone for almost 6 days, Big Sis was a bit leery about allowing me to do anything for her. She wanted Daddy, since she couldn't understand why I disappeared. That went away fairly quickly, and I didn't take it personally.

Her only sign of stress was breaking out in a rash. That's very typical of her. She's 22 now, and still internalizes her stress.

Sometimes they'll argue and be furious with each other, but they'll also adore each other (even if they sometimes do it secretly. ;P) They'll also tend to exaggerate the parts of their personality that are different, so they can feel unique.

don't be worried.. it works out.. My kids are 15 months apart and like most people have said just make sure the older child is involved.. As they get older it will feel like twins at times, both of them wanting somthing different at the same time, but over all the older child helps ( sometimes smothers) the younger one .... Our are almost 3 and almost 4.5 and they do everything together, and my daughter is always protecting her brother, and now that he is almost 3 he does the same for her, she always encourages him to do things and gives him praise.. Good luck

My kids are spaced farther apart, however I have a sister who is 15 months older than me and a brother who is 11 months older than her! I asked my mother how she handled it (in addition to another brother who is 2-1/2 years older than the brother) and she said that she didn't stress on the house, she just would let us play and rest when we all did. We are all extremely close and have been our entire lives.

I am in the exact same position you are in. I currently have a 14 month old son and 1 week old daughter. Being fresh in this situation, I'll share what our challenges have been so far. Our son unfortunately had his two molars come out this week as well as got a sinus infection, so that just added to his having to adjust to baby sister. He's been super excited every time he's around her and wants to touch her, but is still getting the hang of being gentle, so I haven't seen any "resentment" directly being taken out on her or expressed in that manner. However, he's regressed in terms of his sleep habits at night. He's been a great sleeper, sleeping form 8:00pm to 6:00am usually, but this past week he's been waking up every couple of hours. Again, not sure what this is due to--adjusting to baby sis, teething, or sinus infection, but nonetheless it's made for some interesting times around here. We've split it up so my husband tends to our son at night and I take care of our newborn daughter so that we're not both overwhelmed. My husband is even temporarily sleeping in the guest room so he doesn't get waken up when our daughter wakes up and can catch some sleep between our sons sleep stints. When our son gets home from school every day, we make sure to sepnd the entire evening with him (our daughter is just sleeping for the most part right now, so she's always with us but asleep in her Moses basket). I would say invest in a Moses basket if possible, it allows you to carry your newborn around anywhere in the house and thus also gives you a safe place to set her down when you want to play with your eldest. Our son definitely acted out the first couple of days by being very clingy and demanding of attention, but the past couple of days he's seemed to return to normal, even being a little bit more affectionate with both my husband and I, giving us lots of hugs and climbing into our laps moreso than usual (he's usually very independent). So even though your eldest is young, contrary to what some people told us, they're not too young to notice the difference when the new baby arrives. Our rule has been to tend to our son first rather than the baby, as the baby is still too young to realize we're paying attention to him first and we don't want our son to feel like he got replaced/neglected due to baby sis. Congratulations to you and good luck, you are about to double the love and joy in your home!

C.,

Best of luck! My two daughters are just over 10 months apart. I can empathize and sympathize with you. It takes a lot of work and PATIENCE!! My daughters are currently 7 months old and 18 months old. The 18 month old still does not walk or talk, but climbs and walks along furniture just fine. She is well mannered, until she is beating up on her sister. The 7 month old is happy and is now rolling all over. She gets wherever she wants to just by rolling. She laughs all the time and has the biggest smile.

The biggest and most difficult lesson for me to learn when I had the youngest, was to admit that I needed a nap and to ask for help when needed. I had gestational diabetes with both of the girls and was on mandatory complete bed rest with them both the last 2 months of the pregnancy, they were both born at 36 weeks. I was not allowed to sit, stand, or walk for any prolonged lengths on time and I was not allowed to lay at all on my back.

I can not say if it gets any easier, as I recently hurt my back and had to once again ask for help after moving. Just learn to take it one day, even one hour at a time and always ask for help, if you need it. Even if it is just for someone to hold the baby why you shower or play with your daughter. It will mean a lot to her later on when she knows that you were sure to take special time out for her everyday.

Best of luck and get as much rest as you can now, you will need it.

K. C.

In total i have 4 girls a 15 yr old,8yr old, one that just turned 2 years old and a 4 month old. honest to God taking care of little ones is a ride in the park compared to my problems with my teenager.
yes, you will have your sleepless nights, and the colicy baby and diaper changes... it's not easy. but what i did from the moment we came home from the hospital, is teach the baby day and night. at 6:00 a.m. she had a feeding i take her to the living room open the blinds and let the sun come in, at night exactly at 8pm both my little one and 4month i take them a shower have there milks ready and put them in their cribs and lights out. no t.v. no lamp! the 2 yr old sleeps through the night and the little one wakes up at 11:30 pm for her last feeding. i wake up at 5am for work so i have bottle ready.
i was on maternity leave for 3months, the first couple of weeks was hard with the cleaning and washing. at times i would forget to eat or go use the restroom but as soon as i had a schedule it made it easier. feeding at 6am then the 2yr would wake up i would have breakfast, shower her, and then the baby, the little one would sleep the other one would play. i would clean and do a load of laundry and then lunch and bottle. then time to pick the older ones, do homework and cook in between... but i made it a priority for them to have a sleep schedule all of them, then i have my time from 8:30-11:30, either to clean, get on the internet, play wii =)~ , read a book, or catch up on my tivo. but it's my time, or my husbands time. he works nights th-sun, he watches them tues-thurs. so my only advice is a sleep schedule it helps you and they develop a routine that will help once they start day care, preschool and school! Good luck !!!

I can't really speak to the adjustment for your daughter, only the impending chaos. I have 3 yr old twin boys. Schedule is what saved me. It takes sacrifice (like to be home when they are supposed to nap) but it really really helps in managing the chaos.

Good luck

Hi C.,
Your not the only person in the world who has had children so close together. I actually have no expierence in this department, but the only advise I could give you is that I feel that when your baby boy is born, everything will come natural. I'm sure that your daughter will love her brother.
I would also try (IF possible) to keep your daughter on her regular routine as much possible. I hope that you have some family/friends that can help a little. My daughter will be 19 months in a few days, and I know that even at the age of 14 months, she would love a little brother or sister. I also know, in my heart, that she would be gentle, and loving sister.
I'm sure your little girl would be the same.
Good luck to you, and I hope you have an easy delivery.

I have a friend that was in the same boat you are in. She gave her son a baby doll so that he could be somewhat prepared from what was coming. Do make sure that even though there is a new baby in the home that your son is still given plenty of attention (maybe his grandparetns can take him to do some special things while your daughter is a newborn so he can still feel like the center of attention). Have your son be a helper as soon as he understands that concepts (have him bring you diapers, wipes, bottles, etc.). Let him know that he is and will always be your baby boy and give him special cuddle time while the baby is sleeping. If he is gentle enough, allow him to hold her often and know that he can be "in charge" of certain things. From what my friend has told me it was a very challenging first year however since they are so close in age they play very well together and have a special bond.

My daughter was 16 mo old when my 1st son was born. I know for us it really helped to have Grandma and Grandpa there to shower our daughter with extra attention when I HAD to be with the baby. I also got my daughter a special doll so she could take care of her baby while I took care of mine. That worked well. Be sure to include your daughter in taking care of the baby. your lap will be able to hold them both so have snuggle time together as well as time for just her. My 2 oldest are great friends and I rarely see jealousy between them It can be done! :) Good luck and enjoy your 2 little ones!

Congrats to you!!! You will be fine. Yes it will be an adjustment lots of staying home (cabin fever ) get out when you can, but it gets easier. I am a mother of three all under the age of four. The age difference between my 1st daughter and second daughter is 34 months but my second and my third are 1 week to the day shy of 12 months apart!!! I have three...You will be fine it all works out and does get better.

My best to you

S.

Schedule time alone with your daughter at least once a week. Even if it's only for a hour- It'll do wonders for your relationship. When the baby is sleeping, you can set a timer for ten minutes and let her know that during this time she'll have your undivided attention- and give it to her. It will still leave you plenty of time to get other things done. Happy baby-moon!

Hi,
My son was exactley 14 mos when I gave birth to my daughter. Everyone said that my husband and I were crazy to have them so close, and I must say that we were not planning to get pregnant so quickly after my son. I have to tell you that it has not been so bad...so far. For the most part my son loves his little sister but ofcourse he does get jealous from time to time. My best advice is give your child an active role in her little brother or sisters life. Make her feel that she is an important helper. My son loves to help me feed his sister her bottle, he loves to run and get his sister's diaper for me. It makes him feel very important. He loves to kiss her and give her toys. But I also make sure to take time out to give him his own special time with mommy we read a book or watch elmo or just cuddle but it is time just for him and I. It wont be easy but you will find a way to make things work. Good Luck!

My kids are 2,4 & 8 and I'm due anyday as well! It's much easier down the road to have them close together:) Having said that, at first I would suggest as much one on one with each as you can get. This makes the bonding process a little easier, and no one feels left out. It is difficult, but with the experience you have from your first you will handle it just fine:) Congratulations!

Hi C.!

I was in your shoes about 9 years ago. Pregnant with twin boys and my daughter was 13 months old. I explained to her that there were babies in my tummy and that I would go away for a while. She stayed with her grandparents while I was in the hospital. I also told her - her brothers would be coming home with me. She didn't quite understand the concept until they came home. She was so excited to be the big girl - and to 'help' with the babies. I also made a point of having (and still do) Girls day out. We do girly things the boys don't like - shopping only in the girls section, girl books, and other things. When she was little it was just time with mommy.
Oh and now 9 years later they are the best of friends, play together and love each other more than I think more spaced siblings do, because they live the same things, one year apart.

No chaos other than double the diapers, double the feedings, and forget about cleaning house or showering as much as you do now. LOL But that too passes. Oh and in about a year, when one finishes a stage of development the other will start it. Like the twos, threes and fours.. all great but all with their challenges.

If you want to know anymore email me ... I'll be happy to share.

And Congratulations!!

Egads, I remember those days all too well. My son is actually 14-months older than my daughter. I think, if I had to do it over again, I would have made more of an effort to take them out more to the park and let my daughter sleep in the stroller. This would have gotten me and my son more socialization when we needed it most. Other moms are better about this issue than I was but my daughter who went down for naps easily or stayed asleep for enough time so I always felt like she needed to take her naps at home in a completely dark, quiet room, which meant that I never got out much during the day. Good for baby maybe, not good for mommy.

Also, it is very important to get everything babyproofed that you want to have babyproofed if you haven't already. It's nice knowing that you can be nursing the baby and your oldest is in the kitchen and there's a very good chance she won't be able to access the knives or the stove.

Take care of you. I know that this is said often enough that it is pretty much a cliche but, really, take care of you. Make time for the gym if physical fitness is important to you. Get your nails done (or do them yourself if you'd like), take time to read a magazine or favorite book and schedule a girl's night out as soon as you are physically up to it. Oh, and make sure that your husband takes over for you in the childcare duty for at least one hour each day after he gets home from work so that you can get a chance to wind down.

It's not easy having two children so close in age because it is pretty much like having twins and then, if your children are anything like mine, good luck on having them agree on anything as basic as what to eat for lunch or what game to read next. My little boy and little girl (who are 5 and 4 now, respectively) never agree on anything. But, by the same token, they love each other and still sleep together each night because they need that closeness.

Wishing you a safe, healthy and joyful birthing experience. Congratuations.

I am late in this reply, I have not read the others, I just wanted to let you know that I did this with my boys! My daughter is now 9 and the boys are 4 and 3 (14 months apart) The first few months are a blurr LOL, but it gets easier and alot more fun every month! You will get cabin fever ALOT for awhile, but with one baby in an infant carrier it does make it a bit easier to get them in and out of the car! You will find in a years time that gettin a two year old to STAY next to the car while you try to unbuckle the other one is a bit of a trick. I learned to hold the older in the bend of my knee while I unbuckled the younger ( I am sure it was a dight to passer bys LOL ) I liked the gap between child one and two (5 years) and the 14 month gap has its advantages too! I weaned the boys at the same time from the bottle. I know it was a bit late for the two year old, but I just didnt have the time to get him completely off the bottle before his brother showed up =] And they potty trained together last year! There are pros and cons to any gap between siblings - just enjoy what gifts you have, make the best of it, find what works for you and your family and PRAY =}

Been there and done that. Do not expect chaos. It does not have to be chaos - although you can say goodbye to a clean and tidy house. The main thing to guard against is this - do not rush your daughter! Do not push her to grow up faster just because she is a big sister now. Don't rush her into potty training and/or school, don't expect her to act older than her age, don't hurry her out of babyhood. Allow her to take her time and develop at her own pace. Additionally, realize this - second children are amazingly adaptable. Your son will not feel shortchanged by having a sister, because it is all he will ever know. Not so with your daughter. The change from being the one and only will be a real shocker. So if you must choose who gets the attention at any one time, give it to your daughter. Arrange for her to get as much time and attention as you can, whether it is from you, daddy, grandma, etc... Good luck! It doesn't have to be horrible and extremely difficult. It will be a challenge for you, though. Rise to the challenge, keep your cool and keep your perspective, and before you know it they will be teenagers and you will be wishing they were babies again. :0) Mom if 26, 23, 22, and 9 year old sons.

You will love your ride! My kids are 13 months apart as well, is like having twins...
Believe it or not, it will be super easy now that # 2 can not walk yet, it will get tougher for a little, and then when # 1 is potty trained & talking will be a breeze, is 'super duper' fun when they start playing together and having conversations... and YOU WILL LOVE IT when both are potty trained. Your house will be a mess of toys (who cares?) and your kids will be best friends for ever!

For now you can get your little girl involved... (she can hold the burping cloth... share toys -you'll introduce the concept-, in just a breeze she can be responsible for trashing baby sis' (or brother)dirty diapers (she'll love the responsibility, and don't be afraid of germs, mine survived -both-, picking her PJ's & sister's PJ's too...)

When my # 2 was baby baby it was key for my sanity to have both kids on different sleeping schedules (the older was first, while daddy took care of feeding, and I had quality time with # 1)

Have FuN.... and WELCOME TO THE CLUB OF ALMOST IRISH TWINS!!!!

I have two litters. The first are now teen girls and are 16 months apart. The second are now preschoolers and are 13 months apart, almost to the day.

Chaos will reign! Let it reign. Enjoy your children. My youngest is the only boy so all the girls, including my third, who was only 13 months old, felt/feel quite displaced by the "house Prince."

The oldest of each set matured faster. I can see that in both of them. The youngest learns quickly to take advantage of this.

Both my older girls learned to "help" with the baby by bringing me things. I would also sit them on the couch and let them "hold" the baby with me really holding the baby for them.

Bedtime and bath time is all about the older child. We'd make it fun and centered all our attention on her. Bedtime stories she picked out, bubbles or her favorite bath toy...

Let her push the stroller, take the fooey diaper to the trash, bring you the bottle, "watch" the baby, etc...

Tell her that the baby is going to take a nap or go with mommy or go with daddy while the other parent does something alone with her to make it special.

As your newborn gets older, the chaos will get bigger. I am now used to a messy home that I am constantly cleaning. My girls help more than my boy. I don't know if it's because he's the only boy, or because he IS a boy...

I've had the most wonderful time with my kids close together. They do diapers and bottles at the same time...but when you're done, you're done....unless you start over eleven years later and do it again, like me!

You are in for a great time!
My daughter and son are only 20 months apart and I loved having them so close. In the hospital, my son "gave" his big sis a doll and baby care center to help take care of him and his baby.

In preparation for my son, we read a great book called, My Little Brother, I don't remember the author. We changed the names as we read it and it was great!! We also helped our daughter prepare his room.

From the moment my daughter met my son she told him "I am your big sister and I will always take care of you."

I was out of the house within 2 weeks b/c it was so needed. Go for walks, just cruise around Target, go to the park, go to the library. Just be sure to take reserve clothes, food, treats and something for yourself. You never know when you are going to get stuck sitting in your car with both of them asleep!

Also, this is a great time of year to enjoy them by getting in the car at night and driving around looking at Christmas lights. My husband had to leave for work after I was home for 4 days with my son. So, we did alot of Christmas light watching.

You will survive, you are a MOM!!
Best of luck.