9 Month Old Fussiness Out of Control

Updated on December 21, 2008
I.A. asks from Columbus, OH
13 answers

Hi everyone - my daughter is 9 months now and was diagnosed with acid reflux at 4 months. We went thro several formulas (Parents Choice Soy was the answer) and is still on Axid. So she's always been fussy cos of her discomfort. Now her reflux is under control - no more back arching, doesn't resist formula and no more projectile vomitting. She is now teething - got 2 at the bottom and 4 have cut at the top. But she just seems to be gettting very fussy. I can't even leave her for 2 mins to go to the bathroom w/out her crying. I can barely get thro dishes, she fights sleep even when she's sleepy enough to collapse.

I also had to prop her up at night cos of her reflux and just last week was allowed to lay her flat. So she had been waking up numerous times at night - i guess cos she was getting tired of laying flat. So she has started sleeping MUCH better - gone from waking up to 17 times a night to 5 or 6. But she still screams at night and a pacifier calms her down. I've now stopped giving that to her and just call her name so she gets out of that "subconscious" state and pat her on her chest. Usually she falls back asleep but sometimes i have to pick her up. I know she isn't hungry or wet.

Any suggestions would be SOOOOOO appreciated - sorry for the barrage of questions. I'm just so exhausted and it's making me short tempered. The stress of dealing with her cry so much is getting to me and my husband and i are also arguing a lot more now.

PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!!! I do have a retired nurse help me out a few hours a week so i can get some sleep and retain my sanity. Her fussiness is so bad i can't even talk to a friend on the phone for a few minutes to feel better. Doctor has checked her out several times and physically nothing is wrong with her

Additional Note: The reason i want her to get off her paci is that sometimes she gets up to 17 times a night. I just can't do it anymore. Imagine waking up every 45 mins - 1 hour all night then being the one to take care of her all day long (hubby works long hours and my family is too far away). I really appreciate all the tips so far though.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I feel for you. I'd be quite the grump if I had to get up that much at night. Good news is, it won't be forever. If she did not have the acid reflux, what would you do? Because there are a lot of 9 mos olds doing the same thing that don't have a diagnosis to blame it on. I'm not saying ignore her completely, but maybe if you tried letting her cry it out at least once in the night, give her say 15 minutes and see if she will just fall back to sleep, she may just do that. Kids get into a routine and she is used to you being there every time she cries, it might just be habit now. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Indianapolis on

You might want to try finding a chiropractor who specializes in infants. I know it doesn't seem like an obvious choice but I've heard that it can help.

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A.W.

answers from Cleveland on

I think you should give her back the pacifier if it helped so much, she is a baby and the pacifier will not hurt her. Good luck.

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi, I.! I can feel your pain! I had a reflux baby too (who is now 14 months), and we did the exact same thing. She woke up every 45 minutes to an hour and a half, and it was awful! My first suggestion is get her on a strict sleep routine. Put her to bed at night and down for naps at the same time every day. I found a huge difference in my baby when she could expect the same amount of sleep each day. Even now, I find that if she doesn't get a good afternoon nap, she doesn't sleep well at night. We, too, used to be up anywhere from 8 to 14 times a night. It is over now, thank goodness, and we are all in much better moods! She could very well be teething too, so if she's that fussy, I would give her some Motrin or Tylenol. I give it to my daughter when she's teething, and it makes all the difference in the world for her. She's not as clingy and whiney. She may pull or poke into her ears with her fingers too, if her teeth are bothering her. Oh, the pacifier. We tried that too back in the beginning, because she was a colicky baby. She couldn't keep that thing in her mouth for nothing at night. I took it out, and stuck her thumb in her mouth and also gave her a blankie to sleep with. That made a huge difference too! She could always find her thumb, and had her blankie to snuggle with in the middle of the night to soothe her, instead of crying out for me. I know how tired you are... we were there too! It will get better, I promise! Enjoy her while she's little, and have a blessed and Merry Christmas!

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A.N.

answers from Cleveland on

I have been there. My daughter had severe reflux and a milk allergy. My husband was working out of town all week long, and I had a two year old to boot!

My first thought would be to make sure she is not still feeling pain from the reflux. I know you said her physical symptoms are gone and that she has been checked repeatedly by her doctor, but it still makes me wonder. Has she had an upper GI study to ensure that there is no more reflux going on--even a mild case that could still be causing discomfort?

Is she waking up so often because she drops her paci? I would lean toward letting her keep it since it seems to be the only thing that soothes her. Maybe she just needs to get used to looking for it and putting it back in her mouth on her own. They make glow in the dark paci's. Maybe try putting a bunch of them in her crib so that she can easily find one on her own and get back to sleep. Just a thought. I assume you must have a relaxing bedtime routine going on with dim lights and no noise. I know reflux babies are like newborns when it comes to soothing and getting them to sleep. For general soothing, "The Happiest Baby on the Block" is a great book (even though it caters to newborns). If all else fails, and you are certain that there is no medical reason for her screaming, I might spring for her to be evaluated by a pediatric sleep specialist. If you don't have one nearby, I know that some of the big ones will do phone consultations.

Every child is different, but I do find that my reflux baby is much more "spirited" than my older child--even though she grew out of her reflux at 18 months (over a year ago). I don't know if she just got used to screaming knowing that it got attention long after the pain was gone or what. She is a sweet, happy girl now, but when she is upset, she is very upset.

Hang in there--I know how very frustrating and tiring it is. I hope you find some good advice on here.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Separation anxiety is fairly normal at this age. Babies don't understand object permanence. They don't get that if you leave, you come back. They think if you leave, that's it...you're gone. Try talking to her when you leave the room. Sing silly songs or just carry on a conversation, hopefully she'll start to understand that you are coming back!

My daughter never took a paci, but she was a bottle baby. When she woke up at night, she needed her bottle! I weaned her when she was a little over a year, and she never had any problems. I don't see anything wrong with giving her the paci to help her sleep. I also have a little one that fights sleep. All I can say is that it does get a little better the older they get.

Also, is she eating baby food? Maybe she's just a hungry girl! If you haven't tried it yet, you may want to consider table food. My daughter never slept through the night until she started eating real food. I was so scared to give it to her because she didn't have any teeth (didn't cut any until she was a year and started on table food at 10 months), but she did just fine. I just made sure to cut things up very small so that if she swallowed them whole, she wouldn't choke. It's amazing what their little gums can do!

You may also try to give her some Tylenol. Maybe something is hurting, like her gums. If you don't want to do that, maybe some Baby Orajel on her gums to see if that stops her fussing.

It's so frustrating when they are young like that. They can't tell you what's wrong, so you don't know what to do to help. It's sort of a process of trial and error. Just keep trying something until it works. Sometimes you have to think outside of the box, beyond hungry, wet or sleepy. Know that you are not alone! I think all moms go through this at least once in the first year! Especially us first time moms. Hang in there!

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J.Z.

answers from Toledo on

Is there a reason that you stopped giving her the pacifier? I have a 10 month old that is not a fussy baby at all, but fusses a couple times a night due to teething. It may just be the teething that is bothering her? At 9 months, I would give her the pacifier as much as she needs it. Are you afraid that she will get addicted to it? I have a 4 year old that I let have his pacifier until he was 2 and it was not a struggle for him to give it up. I plan to wean my little girl off of it a little sooner, but until most of her teeth come in, I feel she really needs it. Also, I have read a lot about how a pacifier allows babies to breath a little easier too.

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J.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

I personally think maybe you should give her the pacifier, she is only 9 months old. It is comforting to them (obviously) and helps when they are teething. It will probably help her sleep better at night too.

There could be so many things that could be making her cranky. As far as sleeping, is she getting enough sleep during the day? Maybe she is overly tired and that is making her fussy.

Have you tried having her in the kitchen with you with a couple of measuring cups to play with while you are doing dishes? Or maybe giving her an old magazine she can look at and rip up while you are on the phone? This probably sounds funny, but these things worked for me!

I do think it is normal though, for her to cry when you leave the room. I have a daughter who just turned a year and she is seriously glued to my leg!

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D.G.

answers from Columbus on

Take your Baby to a chiropractor and have her adjusted it may take a few sessions but you will see a great improvement on the childs whole life.My niece had horrid acid reflux , Brooke wouldn't listen to me and her and the child suffered for a very long time. Finally I asked my Chiropractor if he would see the baby free of charge and he said he would. Two sessions later she was normal.

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H.G.

answers from Columbus on

our 15 week old also has reflux...we put her to sleep on her belly & that has helped her so much more than her being in a propped up position (such as a car seat). since your daughter is older, she may not stay on her belly, though, so that may not work out. (BTW: our pediatrician understands the sleeping on the belly thing, it just seems better for babies w/ reflux).
another lesson learned from our pediatrician: if a baby has good naps during the day, she will sleep better at night. so we started by getting her to sleep ANY WAY WE COULD during the day for her naps. once she's sleeping better at night, you can work on getting her to sleep on her own during the day.
to get her off the paci, maybe just do it in one day...just take it away. i would think you will need lots of help to keep you sane b/c i'm sure she will cry a lot! could you ask your family to visit you for a few days & help out? or have your husband help you at night? (i'm a SAHM also & my hubby works full time out of the house, but he still does a "shift" at night, from 2-6 a.m., giving me, even on the worst nights, at least 4 straight hours of sleep.)
what does your pediatrician say? it sounds as if she has a bit more going on than just reflux...(coming from a mama who also has a baby with reflux & a very very very spirited toddler, who was quite the fussy baby). we have found that listening to our ped's have been priceless...they seem to have the best advice of anyone. with our toddler, we started 'crying it out' at 6 months per ped suggestion b/c we were getting up 6-8 times a night. within 3 days she was sleeping from 8 p.m. until 2 a.m., up for 1 feeding, then slept until 7 a.m. i know it's different w/ a baby w/ reflux (b/c crying can make it worse) but usually reflux is improving by 9 months. at any rate, she should be sleeping better & it seems that you need to get to the bottom of this soon before you become comatose... i really recommend talking to your ped about it!
i hope this helps; i feel for you!

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T.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Maybe she has a milk or soy allergy. This would cause all the fussiness. Her spitting the paci out so much maybe related to her reflux. Have you tried getting a co-sleeper, shes not in your bed but at arms reach, this might help the both of you.

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A.M.

answers from Columbus on

My son was horribly fussy just like you've described. We took him to several dr.s and finally we took him to a chiropractor. I hadn't heard of taking a baby before but a friend suggested it. After just one adjustment, he was fine. His back was just killing him. Maybe that would help??

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J.M.

answers from Cleveland on

hi I.,
i know how difficult it can be. she is probably fussier during the day because she is so tired. do you have a sling or other tyoe of carrier that you can wear her in during the day when you are doing things around the house. they are especiallly useful before nap and bedtimes. just slip your little one in and wear her around the house it makes a tremendous difference in their mood.

also, are you sure she is not hungry at night. i'm sure you've tried but maybe feed her again after she first wakes.
also, if understand correctly, you would like to wean her from the paci because she is waking when it falls from her mouth? have you tried sleeping with her? she may just be a baby that needs mommy at night. or at least it would be easier to just roll over and slip the paci back in her mouth if she is in bed with you.

she may sense your frustration too and is feeding off of it. i would play relaxing music in the house during the day, singing to her when she's fussing,and you could try playing white noise in her room at night. the pots and pans in the kitchen is a great idea, and tearing up magazines. my daughter loved/s doing this. but i have to say that at that age she really just wanted to be close to me most of the time. they truly grow up so fast and believe it or not you may one day miss when she needed mommy so much.

lastly, are you napping with her during the day to catch up on sleep. this has really helped me deal with the night waking.

forgot to mention....probiotics. they supposedly do wonders for the gstrointestinal tract. i give my daughter probiotics daily. you can get them at the health foods store and "happy baby's" makes an oatmeal/rice cereal with probiotics in it. this may really help her feel better.
good luck!
eta: dr.sears has some great websites offering advice for babies with gerd. i know you said ped thinks it's gone, but babies are fussy for a reason. unfortunately she does not have the verbal ability to tell you what is wrong. i STRONLGY advize against letting your baby cry. she is obviously uncomfortable and leaving her to cry would only make it worse (especially if she is still dealing with gerd). http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T106004.asp

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