8 Yr Old Afraid of Many Things, and Having Trouble Going Back to Sleep on Own.

My 11 year old did the same thing at about that age. I would continue letting him sleep on the floor in your room because most likely its just a phase and he will grow out of it. It lasted about 2-3 months with my child but she did outgrow. Also try not to give it too much attention, just pleasantly say "oh sweetie your fine." I really would not take things away from him auch as friends or tv as this could really stress him and make this situation worse. With time and patience he will be ok. Good luck!!

Hi M.,
I too am a stay at home mom with 4 children. My oldest son is also 8 yrs old. (daughter 7, son 5, son 4) I have the same problem in my house. My children alternate coming in to my room every night. Some nights it is just one of the kids sometimes 2 or even all of them. I also walk them back to bed or like you, don't want any confrontation at night and just let them sleep with me or have them sleep on the floor. I am sure you have talked to your son and asked him many questions about how he's feeling etc... The new baby, school, siblings, etc... I really think my kids do it just for security. They like their beds, but would prefer to be closer to me. My 8 yr old says he likes to come in my room at night because he does not get to spend much time with me. He always has to share me with his brothers and sister. I really don't think it is manipulation. I am not an expert, just a mom, but I would say it is more a phase. My 8 yr old has always been very clingy and a bit of a scaredy-cat also. (Although he wouldn't admit to this! ;)_ My kids always slept in their cribs/beds as infants and toddlers. I don't condone sharing beds with your kids, but if it is on occasion and they need you I don't see anything wrong with it. I just keep trying to get them to feel safe and comfortable in their own beds and let them come to me as they need me. Good luck with number 4! It isn't much harder than having 3! Melissa Kessler

My reply will come from two different approaches.

I am curious how long you have been in this home? Did you smudge your home prior to moving in? If there is something that is frightening him for real you can aid in moving the negative energy out by smudging. Be sure to open a window to allow the negative to move on out. You can often times have your pastor bless the home as well. These two things will lighten the environment that may be heavy or frightening for him. He may not see anything, but children can feel and are more sensitive to our surroundings and the energies that may be within them.

As far as sleeping. None of my children like to sleep without me. My 36 year old husband passed away and for almost a year my 16 year old slept with myself and my two younger sons. We all shared a king size bed along with the cat. Everyone slept, everyone felt safe. Both my husband and I had always co-slept with our children and I have yet to experience anything negative from it. I strongly feel that as American's we lost some of the old ways. There once was a time when everyone in a home shared, worked together and sending our children off to their own "space"/room was not needed. Yet those days yeilded strong independent adults.
And as a follow up -- my now 18 year old willingly retreats back to her room for undistrubed sleep.

here is a link on smudging. I have smudged both my properties and when life is tough, I smudge again. It really helps as crazy as it sounds.

http://healing.about.com/cs/native/a/smudging.htm

Dear M.;
I know this is making you even more exhausted than you already are at 7 mo. pregnant. With my son we said, you can come into our room w/blankie and pillow and sleep on the chair (over-stuffed chair). However, you may not wake us up. After a few nights of not getting any attention during the night he stopped on his own.
Keep working at it!

Dear M.,

Their is a therapy called Craneo Sacral which is a sort of healing tuch, that works on balancing the fluids in the body. My mother is a therapist and is trating a disabled boy who does'nt sleep at night or wakes up screaming and cring horrified at what he is feeling, seeing or dreaming. A few days ago my mother got a call from the parents saying that for the first time in months he was finally sleeping all night and no longer woke up crying or screaming.
Singing has always worked to calm my little brother down when he wakes up scared or if he is scared of anything during the day.
Smudging with sadge can also have a powerfull cleansing affect, the best healer yet (i think) is love and understanding.

I wish you great luck and send many blessings and supporting energy.

M. -

During the day try talking about what concerns him - what is he really afraid of - how does he think that someone gets in the house, what does he hear that makes him think someone is in the house. In the daytime - take time to show him the locks and the security measures that are in place in your home - before bed time let part of his routine be to see that the doors are locked the windows etc --- I used to have a daughter that was the same way she would see shadows - felt like someone was going to climb in her window using the tree outside etc ( so we showed her how the shadow came from the tree and that in the sunlight the shadow was there too) - and when we took her outside to look at the tree and try to climb it she realized it would be impossible for someone to get into the house that way -

Adding a new routine to bedtime may be exhausting at the end of the day - however after a while the facination disappears and they head off to bed on their own without fears -

I have twin girls that are two but the one is scared to be alone in any room of the house. I know this may sound weird but I can feel ghost in the house and I believe that she can see them. Children are very open and able to see them unlike most adults. But I usually pray with them before I leave the room and they seem to sleep better when I do then when I don't.

Where I understand where you are coming from, my little boy is 9 and sometimes wakes up. I have to say and I am sorry that this is not something to "punish" him by taking away friends,tv or computer! This is like punishing them when potty training. It is a no no! It is something that he can't control and perhaps needs addressed by the doctor. One do you have a night light for him, I leave my sons bathroom light on since it is in his room. By night light not one that is small but something like a small lamp with a low watt bulb. Two, I know there are books out the for varies things. My son had trouble going to sleep so I bought him a book called "the boy and the bear" it teachs a breathing tech. that he dided even realize he was being taught as he read it..first time he read it he was asleep within 5 mins..I was amazed. The other thing, before bed..perhaps ask him to either with your or without you to make sure that all the doors are locked. Perhaps this will give him the sec. in nowing that he locked them and that no one can get in. Another thing, could something have possible happened? did he possible watch something on tv that he shouldnt have, that sometimes can have an impact. One more thing...you know while sleeping over at a friends he may not have this problem. As well as if he had a friend sleep over, again I have to say please dont punish him for this...it only will make it worse and make him feel as though it is his fault!
Best wishes to you....Ohh sorry one last thought, you said you will go back to his room with him, maybe on the way just walk a bit through the house let me see that the doors are still locked and that no one is here but family!

I have never experienced this as both of my children have slept in my bed since birth. But maybe he has seen something in a movie or on tv that made him think that something or someone could harm him in his house. I agree that allowing him to sleep on the floor in your room is a good idea. You definitely dont want to start the sleeping in your bed thing. But eventually he will realize that the floor isnt comfortable and bed is and hopefully sleep in his bed. Also a sleepover may be a really good idea that may let him see that other children his age sleep in their room by themselves all night so he can too. Sometimes peer pressure is a positive thing that is over looked. Hope this advice helps. God bless!!

I don't have any advice because I have the same problem. My son is seven. He will not go anywhere out of my sight. He says he is afraid. I tell him there is nothing to be afraid of but that doesn't seem to help. I wish I could figure out if maybe that is his way of getting attention or if he is truly scared about something. If he is scared I would like to know what he is scared about. If you get any advice that you find helpfull. Please let me know. Thanks, from one mother to another.