Ok, so as alot of other posts i've read my daughter, age 7, has issues with listening. The only difference is it's all the things everyone else writes all wrapped up in one. I've tried the chores, the charts, the points, rewards, grounding, etc. But she'll do good on the chores and not listen when i've told her time and time again to put her homework in her backpack. The past 2 days she's missing her homework and it's affecting her schooling. If she does good on that she's not listing in another category. I'm just so lost. I've tried it all grounding, taking away her favorite things... everything!!! So any advice? lol. She is a very bright girl and very caring. She's a wonderful child but i just can't get her to listen. I get so aggrivated and yell sometimes because i'm just so over it. My husband and i have tried everything!!
Thank you everyone. I did get a few ideas like the checklist. I mean we have a set schedule and rules and a chore list but i did not think of just a simple check list for the day. I am going to try that one. Her father is not in the picture and has not been since she was 2. My husband however is her "father" as far as she's concerned. So that is not in issue but however her biological father has this idea that he's on a cloud in his own little world and i see that in her. Just the blah blah not listening, i can do whatever i want and everything is ok. They say that attitude is a social thing but man i see his personallity in her sometimes, lol. She loves her computer, ipod, ds, etc. So she has been grounded for 2 days without it. I had a talk with her just telling her that school is serious. If you don't do your work or study you can fail and will have to repeat 1st grade again. I hope this helps. I have looked into add and adhd and i do think she may have slight add but not adhd. But i do not beleive in putting children on medicine for everything so i'm going to look into more ways to help without meds. Thank you all again and good luck with your little ones as well. : )
Have her evaluated for Auditory Processing Disorder. It is quite common among very bright kids. Find a good pediatric audiologist.
Is your daughter willfully not listening or is she not able to focus on more than one thing at a time and stay on task? Is she easily distracted? Is this a problem at school as well? Your daughter may have trouble with attention. If it were my child I would have her evaluated by a psycologist who specializes in ADHD. Not all children with ADHD have "bad" behavior. Inattentive ADD makes it difficult for kids to follow directions and complete task. These kids are extremely bright and their brains think much more quickly than people who do not have ADHD, making it difficult for them to stay on task and concentrate. ADHD is often missed in girls because girls do not always display the hyperactive behaviors common in boys with ADHD. There is nothing wrong with having ADHD as these kids are the ones that grow up to be CEOs, Inventors, Artists and successful people in our world. (it makes it easier for them if they get the help they need) Good Luck to you
The word for it is childish irresponsiblity. She is seven and may not have deveolped her organizational habits yet. Is she defiant or forgetful? If she is forgetful, make her a checklist for the day and make a game out of it. Give her a star for everything she gets checked off her list, and then at so many stars, award her with something, like a special mom and daughter movie night, and ice cream cone, etc.
All three of my children have had organizational problems, and the easiest and least stressful for all of us was lists.
Hope this helps!
I know what you mean- and I'll tell you what I have found- YokaReeder has completely turned me around- and everyone is much happier- see her web site, and just reading a couple of things will give you a different idea- she has tapes- I listen while ironing or whatever- and it not only helps w/ my kids, but helped resolve things in my own childhood,
She'll be in Clearwater the end of May,and as soon as I know when I'll put it here.
Just know there is a different way, and it is one where everyone will be happier- I was so grateful to find it.
best, k
Hi L.,
I guess my obvious question is have you checked her hearing? If you have, then look around your home and see if there could be anything affecting her. My youngster had a similar problem and when we detoxed our home, removed all the synthetic chemicals, the symptoms went away. Go to www.go2harmony.healthyhometour.com and look around. Stimulants in the home are more common than you think. They don't always affect everyone either. I had one child that was fine and the other would bounce off the walls.
Regards,
M.
I know that it was mentioned, but have you had her hearing checked? My grandson had all his check-ups & his hearing was checked each time. We were told "everything is fine". His school had a specialist come in to check eyesight & hearing. Guess what? He failed the hearing test on both ears. He has been to two doctors & is scheduled for surgery next week. Everyone kept saying "listen" & he would say "i am listening". He would be put in time-out or have something taken away. Now, we realize that he was listening, but he couldn't hear. Good luck
You may want to encourage her to identify what she herself would like to do to keep herself organized and able to follow through with tasks. Let the motivation and initiative come from within her rather than an external authority trying to make her be responsible. There's no guarantee with anything you try, but if she really wants to do well with these things she'll focus her energies toward that purpose. You refer to her issues as a listening deficit, but it may just be that her attention gets scattered and she forgets assignments because she's more interested in something else.
Does she have this problem at school?
If not, then you know it is her choice at home not to listen.
People are going to say she is only 7 blah, blah, blah. But I promise you MOST 7 yr olds in school turn in their homework and do listen to their parents.
Is she a child that likes to be considered a good girl?
She may not realize that not listening to you is a sign of great disrespect.
She probably has not thought of this.
My mother used to remind us that "children that follow the rules, do their best and are good to others are showing everyone that they are good citizens". "When you listen to your parents it is th proof that you respect them. "
What would your daughter do if you all as a family did not listen to her? If she asked you to please help her, to please buy her her favorite foods, please take her to the library. Just completely said ok, but did not follow through?
It may be time to take it to the next level. What is her passion? TV, computer, shopping? whatever it is, that is what you need to be willing to take away from her. Let her know they are privileges and she has not earned the use of them
Are you willing to just not help her remember anything for the next week or 2 and just let her realize that since she does not respect your help, you will just not waste your time with it any more?
Let her teacher know this is about to take place and to let the consequences happen. She did not put her clothes in the laundry and has only dirty clothes? Oh well.. Did not complete her homework? Left her home work at home? Did not put away her dirty dishes?
All of these things can be let go and she can face the consequences. Guess she will have to problem solve. Her dishes will just sit there and she will have to figure out what to do about getting those dishes out of the way and getting some clean ones with food on them. Everybody else has their plate served. What is she going to do about that?
No clean clothes?.. Guess she can pick through the pile n the floor and decide what is the least dirty.
Family members that behave as part of the family get to watch tv, be on the computer play outside. But those that so not take care of their responsibilities need to stay in their rooms and figure out what they need to do to gain back these privileges.
With toddlers that behave like this, we say "listen to my words." Make sure they are looking at you. Then ask her to "Repeat what I just said."
This gives her ownership of the direction. If you do this every time. You have done your job. She will then have to follow through, if not, so sad too bad. Just begin administering the consequences at home and let the teacher deal with them at school.
Are we living a parallel life? LOL! I just posted something similar about my 8 year old son. he chats, forgets his homework, gets off track when told to do something, and i too have go to the point of yelling and then feel horrible
afterwords. Here is what I am doing, and looking into:
Diet is everything- One wrong food coloring, and it can
fog up anyones brain. There is a book by Dr. Bob. for Add. basically,
omitting dairy first and adding fish oil supplements and other supplementation. He outlines the entire protocol. It helps them think more
clearly. I am starting the protocol when school is out and I can take note of all changes. Very excited to try it and see what it has to offer.
I found and awesome book! It is called Dreamers, Discovers, and Dynamos by lucy jo Palladino. It is opening my eyes.
I am realizing that i have to work on changing my reaction, because it
can be so frustrating. I think this book is a must...
As i posted earlier, I was looking into advice on switching to a more
structured school. I am most likely going to try it VS less structured,
What works for you?
It's good to know we are not alone!! I know it can be so frustrating..
My son got a D in his homework- because he forgot to hand
it in 3 times!!! I thought my head was going to twist around in circles. LOL
Very smart, just gets forgetful...
Little steps=Big Changes!!!
God Bless!
T.
You might want to have her evaluated for Central Auditory Processing Disorder. It is a very real disorder where intelligent people have difficulty processing what they hear. It often seems as if they ignore you or just don't care, when infact they need to be taught strategies (as well as teach others who are involved with them) to compensate. Your child can be evaluated through your peditrician and an audiologist or through her school. You want to be specific and ask for Auditory Process Testing. Do it soon because you do not want your child to get fustrated and discouraged with school at an early age. So much of school is auditory learning and with specified strategies she can succeed. Do a Google search for the disorder and see if you feel she fits. There is alot of info on line. Good luck!
She is seven, not 27. Be patient, give reminders, give rewards, give lots of love, and she will grow into her responsibilities.
Know obvious but have u checked her hearing as children of her age suffer with problems with fluid in ears when suffering from colds etc.. May also make her realise problem if u do check out.
Children go through stages of `selective' hearing, one of mine has hadprobs but diagnosed with problems with ability in processing info and short term memory, brill long term but rubbish short term. Anyway tried all sorts as sometimes appeared as not heard or just ignoring things so alongside teacher worked out a checklist on a piece of laminated card that he followed till he finally remembered it ! (Homework diary,P.E kit, homework etc..) Keep to only 1-5 or 1-3 then she will get used to it x
Hope works like us, perserverence, and patience required but encourages independance,and limits grey hair xx
Have you tried asking her why? Maybe it's not important to her. My parents let me get a D in reading in the 3rd grade. I later became a straight A student. But that would not have happened if they had not let me experience my own consequences and redo all the work. Getting a bad grade early on is safe and in the long run and may yeild some long term positive results as long as there are no serious underlying issues.
You know I think its something common with that age group. If they are into something its hard for them to focus sometimes on something else. I found it would help if i got down to her level and looked her in the eye. She use to forget her homework etc all the time and say she was rushed etc. Good news they do grow out of it slowly but surely. If my daughter forgot her homework I'd give her homework to do. I know its hard but just keep ssaying it and it will start to sink in. Try not to over punish. Instead just have her do extra chores or extra homework if she forgets.
