6 Year Old Wakes up Several Times EVERY Night

We just had this same exact problem with my 6 year old daughter. She was calling me multiple times per night (she's not allowed in our bed, so that was not an option). In the beginning she made up excuses - I have to go to the bathroom, I don't feel good, I'm cold, etc., etc., etc.. After a few days of this, we had a heart-to-heart where I told her she has to tell me what is really bothering her because there is no way I can help her. If she says she's sick and she's not really, I can't help and the next time she really is sick, I'll think she's lying. She understood and confessed, "I'm scared." This didn't make sense to me, because she shares her room with her older sister - so she's not alone. She couldn't pinpoint what she was scared about. After discussing this with friends, one of them suggested she had general anxiety - her older daughter had the same thing. It made sense. I read some books on relieving your child of anxiety, and used the tips/tricks with her. One suggestion was that it takes 3 to 4 weeks to develop a "habit". So we made a reward chart that was going to take her 3 weeks to complete - and she got a HUGE reward that she had really been wanting if she finished the chart. In the beginning, the first couple of nights, I bent the rules a bit so she wouldn't be discouraged. She wanted that reward so badly, she kept trying. By one and a half weeks, she was getting through the night mostly fine. By the time the chart was finished, she had developed good sleep habits again and had no more anxiety about falling asleep. This may not be at all your son's problem, but consider that there's something else motivating him to need to be near you. At 6 years old, he's old enough to discuss it with you. If it's not anxiety, and the rewards aren't working, I'd move on to punishments. Good luck.

Is there anything you can do to make his bed more appealing?

My goddaughter went through this when she was 4, and getting her to stay in bed was a nightmare for my friend. They finally put a princess canopy over her bed and instantly she was okay with going to bed and staying there, literally overnight.

Clearly a canopy isn't for your boy, but maybe there is a similar trick?

I have no experience beyond this bc my daughter is still in a crib :)

Wow, at the age of those boys either of them should be waking up in the middle of the night. When they wake up do you walk them right back to their room? It might help to just tell them to go to sleep until it is time for them to get up for the day... for a while just go in when you it is that time.
My m.i.l. told me that they ended up putting the sleeping bag on their floor for the four of their kids, but didn't work. They didn't get the sleep they require. Plus, that lasted until they were over 10 yo. Ouch!
Good luck ...

He is too big to start sleeping in your room I wouldn't allow it. Is anything different is someone picking on him at school, did he hear you guys argue, any change in routine that could have possibley thrown him off. He might have caught a glance of something scarey on tv and now he's developed a fear of the dark or he could just be having some anxiety if you talk to him and it is none of these and rewards don't work than its time to start punishing him. If he's disturbing his little brother perhaps you need to seperate them if possible so atleast your youngest gets the sleep he needs because it isn't fair to him.

I just wanted to offer a different perspective. My 5 yr old DS has always had difficultly sleeping through the night. We have created a really lovely, safe space for him...with white mosquito netting, a down comforter, a soft sheepskin to sleep on. He loves his bed, but still sometimes wakes & needs to reconnect with us during the night. As a light, wakeful sleeper myself, I understand & respect this need. I have always felt that the 'right' way to sleep is the way that makes it possible for everyone to get the most sleep. For our family, this has meant a family bed for our children when they were babies, a slow transition to sleeping alone, & an open door policy.

So this is my question to you - would everyone sleep better if you just let your son climb into bed with you, cuddle up & go right back to sleep? If yes, why not give it a try for a while? Honor his need as a real need & not something that should be trained out of him. Maybe trust that he'll outgrow this need when it's met or when he's ready.

Just thought I'd offer an alternative view. Good luck to you & your family.

Ask your local librarian for a good book for kids about overcoming fears. Do it out of ear-shot of your children. Establish a calm and somewhat repetitive bedtime routine which includes lots of hugs, no television or rough-housing, and good literature. I don't know if this will help, but I hear of a lot of 6's having separation anxiety - they think their parents might die (sounds strange but I read about it somewhere). Some kids are just very sensitive and need a little more nurture through the night-time thing. Bribery helps, too! Good-luck!

It's hard when they are that smart isn't it. Maybe they can bunk in together. Many siblings enjoy sleeping together either in the same bed or same room. It's cold late at night and they can't always articulate why they are up. Maybe a special softee toy or a nightlight, or maybe a plain and simple point system..... ie He can get 1-3 stars per night. He always gets one no matter what, he can get two or three depending on whether he stays in bed, gets up, or sleeps til morning. Once he gets 30 stars he gets a predetermined prize. So if you do the math, he can get this as quickly as 10 days if he works really hard, or as long as a month if he doesn't. You can make it higher if it's a bigger prize, but I recommend a smaller one to start. With the 4 year old make it sooner. You are asking them to give up something really wonderful (climbing in bed with their warm and safe parents), so you have to make it worth their while. Make sure they are getting enough physical time and playful time with you during their waking and pre-bed times. Kids need time and touch and if they aren't getting enough they will do anything including resorting to negative behavior (teasing, taunting, hitting) to get it. Make sure you give lots of appreciative positive attention for nights they do well and don't punish it when they don't. Say something like, we are going to try again tonight, right.... this is a team effort to help everyone sleep better and be happier, less grumpy people. You really tried last night, I could tell. Refrain from I'm proud of you or good boy.... that's about you, not him. Say wow, you slept all the way til morning without getting up once, or I heard you get up to go to the bathroom, but you went right back to bed without even waking us up, you are working so hard on this..... Encouragement builds their confidence and helps them believe they can do it (whatever it is...)
Happy sleeping...