5 1/2 Year Old Son Concerning Behaviors

perhaps there are breathing techniques you can teach him. At this age they are trying to figure out how to control their tempers and anger, etc. This could be my nephew. Also, they could just need some extra sleep and food. My nephew yesterday was falling apart. Everything was so over the top and the littlest things bugged him big time, esp when they weren't going his way. The solution was just to put him in his room and he fell asleep in less than a minute. Sometimes all you need is a nap and some good anger management techniques (deep breathing, counting to three, etc). Perhaps the school may have some resources or online.

OMG, did you kidnap my 5 year old son?

My son seems to go in phases, but right now, he is in a rough patch, doing just about ALL the things you just described, even down to the growling...

What I've learned with my son, is that he cycles on this. He'll be out of sorts for a period (maybe something developmental going on), then, for seemingly no apparent reason, he'll calm down, and go back to being a relatively normal (and I use that loosely), kind, sweet, well-behaved boy.

It used to really concern me, but I've learned that he'll just have periods where he gets frustrated more easily, and his behavior changes as a result. All I do is keep discipline and expectations consistent, and he eventually comes around. That, and pray for patience!

Best of luck to you! Hope it helps to at least know you are not alone!!!

L.,
Hang in there - this too shall pass. It's a phase. I see this in all the 5 year olds I work with, and my children went through it, too.

I found that hugs and sympathy went a long way to calm them down, then I asked them how we could manage it better in the future, so they could help problem - solve.

And NONE of us have any special knowledge on how to be a good parent. We're all just winging it and hoping for the best! ; ) So don't be hard on yourself, we can all relate and are here for you!

Blessings, and wishes for a quick-to-pass phase,
J.

I'm going to make a couple of suggestions.

1. His interaction with his brother. A behavior/chore chart and reward system might help. For every day he doesn't egg his brother on or shares he get's a sicker and a Hershey's kiss. This system can be used for the younger with chores. Toy pick up and whatever other chores you want.
2. You can use a count down method to help him calm down. Inhale on 1, exhale on 2, inhale on 3 and so one. This can be used in timeout.

Also this might hard to answer but, are you or your spouse a little nit nicky about things? I'm just asking because sometimes that need for perfection behavior is learned at home. It might be something to think about.

Good luck!!

Is he getting enough sleep? A lot of the behaviors you mentioned (particularly things like getting upset easily over small things like the color of a bowl) are much more common in my kids when they're overtired. I noticed that you said he's not much of a morning person -- again, that sounds to me like he's not getting enough sleep. You may want to consider putting him down for at least an afternoon rest time (assuming his kindergarten is only half day) or trying to move his bedtime a little earlier, and see if that helps.

My other thought is that school is simply exhausting for some kids. They work so hard all day to be good and to learn, and they come home and just can't hold it together anymore. Home is "safe," so they can act up and be angry there. Maybe if you can find ways to get him some one-on-one time with you, his dad, or another close relative, that will help. Try giving him more attention/affection than you think he needs, and see if that triggers an improvement in his behavior and his feelings about himself.

Talk to his pediatrician as a starting point. He may need to see a specialist for an evaluation and I don't say that as a bad thing in any way. Specialists can determine what's normal and what isn't, giving you reassurance or direction on what to do next.

I can tell you it's likely not ADHD because that is something that's there 24/7 and you'll have bad school reports. So, you may just have a child who's more intense than others, or it could be due to a condition. I would ask a doctor for input at this point so you can put your mind at ease.

I have a 9 year old who was like this when he was younger. We sought counseling for him when he was 7 and the counselor said that often, boys with high levels of anxiety, will be fine at school because they can restrain themselves for only so long. So, when they get home, they let it all out!

As they grow, however, it becomes harder for them to keep their behavior in check both at home and at school. This has proven true for my son. Over the past few years, he has started to have more trouble at school, getting into trouble on the bus and at recess, lying to his teacher, etc..

We sought counseling for him again, just to help him learn better ways to cope with his high level of anxiety. Often, these kids are just overly-sensitive and highly creative. They take everything so seriously that it becomes hard for them to function in stressful situations.

The counseling has helped my son enormously. He can go days now without an outburst. (This is just from learning coping techniques...he is not on any medication). He is happier and doing better in school as well. Hope this helps.

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