4 Yr Old Son Keeps Running Off

Get a leash! lol

I had one for my boys when they were little.... nothing wrong with them. Get the backpack type or get a regular leash...hook it to his belt loop, or put it around his waist.

I also had one for my daughter that went around her wrist...it velcroed to her wrist and then the other end velcroed to mine.

You have to do what you have to do to keep him safe.

HI

Julie Clark (Baby Einstein creator) and John Walsh (America's Most Wanted) created a video to show to kids to help them understand the dangers of strangers. My daughter started watching it around 4 and found it so entertaining that she watched it over and over. The Safe Side: Stranger Safety is the name. I believe Amazon carries it, as well as other big retail outlets. I recomend this video because it gives them the facts without being scary. I watched it with her and she and I would revisit it in conversation before we would go to public places. Then as my son got old enough she took great pride in presenting the concepts to him.

I would also discipline him when he runs off. I would walk the mall with my daughter (when she was younger than 4), I would give her freedom to wander but if she didn't come to me when I called her she would have to get back in the stroller. Then when she got older and I was pushing her brother she would always come back when I asked her to, whether we were in the mall, park, or boardwalk.

Good Luck
D. V.

Hi, P..

My almost three year old was doing the same thing to me. When we go shopping, she runs away from me in the parking lot. My mother found a Monkey backpack (it comes in other animals too)at Walmart. The monkey's tale is a lease. The tale is detachable so that it will function as a stand alone backpack. My daughter loves it. She wears it all the time. When we go out, I attach the tale.

Don't feel guilty about doing it. I think it is one of the best investments that my parents could ever have made. It's better to have a harness than to be calling the police or an ambulance because I turned my head or someone was not paying attention to what they were doing. I have been asked by stranger why I have done this to her. My response is if it were your child or grandchild would you want them to be harmed. It usually shuts someone right up. I have also been praised by parents and grandparents who think it's a great idea.

Good luck.

hi P., what i did was to strap my son in whenever he left my side. no mercy, no second chances. it works very well. my double can fit all 3 kids, so it works. if yours doesnt, i would bring a sling with you. tell him if he walks away from your side he is getting strapped into the stroller. and then do it. put the baby in a sling or bjorn or whatever and strap your son in. if he screams, let him scream. if he fights, cross the straps across his chest. i know it sounds awful, but it worked for me, and very quickly too. its a matter of safety, and as im sure you know, they are slippery little suckers! they get away so quickly, and there are so many nutjobs out there, it terrifies me. remember, no mercy mama!
oh, and if it doesnt work, yes, i would absolutely leash him, i've done it before and ill do it again. also, check out id_inside.com, they have id bracelets for the kids, mine wear them whenever we go someplace crowded.

You say it makes you nervous that your son has no fear of strangers. I'd be scared to death! Do NOT take him to the mall or any large gathering of people (festivals etc) until he UNDERSTANDS how serious it is to approach strangers. He needs to understand that he has to stay at your side NO MATTER WHAT. Don't risk it. A trip to the mall isn't worth it. If you can't leave him with your husband or a sitter, then don't go. The same goes for grocery store, Walmart, etc..

I got a backpack/leash for my 2yo from Target. They have few different styles that are really cute and not expensive. It sounds terrible to have your kid on a "leash" but it can kep them safe and give you peace of mind. A.

It sounds like he likes to go to the mall with you, if that is the case and it is feasable for you, i would find someone to leave him with when you go to the mall, the next time you go and tell him that he has to stay with you and not run off or he will not go with you anymore, if he does not listen, then the next time you go after that tell him he is not going because he ran off the last time. Make sure he understands this is a dicipline because of his poor behavior while you are at the mall. This is one idea, and i can think of so many more.

With 4 kids 5 and under, I totally get where you're at with this issue. I "train" my kids in low-stress situations, for example, on walks around the neighborhood. They know that they have to hold on to the side of the stroller at all times unless I tell them otherwise. That way, when we go to the mall or the grocery cart, it's habit and the expectations are clear.

I also completely agree with Deb. If he leaves your side, strap him in that stroller like there's no tomorrow and put the baby in the carrier. Good luck.

I actually use a leash with my 3 1/2 year old in busy places. I get looks every now and again but, honestly, i mostly have people asking me where they can get one!! She is pretty good about staying close but anything can happen & we all get distracted--esp when you have 2 other little ones to keep your eyes on! I know they sell this one at Wal-Mart--& it comes as a monkey or a dog backpack (i let her put a few fave toys in it to make it more attractive) with the leash attached. I also have heard that John Walsh's Stranger Safety is an excellent video to let the kids watch. I did see it on Amazon.com for about $10...
good luck--my niece did this at around 3 but it didn't last--a scary phase to say the least. hang in there & all the best with your 3 little ones!!

Now is definitely the time to talk about stranger danger. I know it's difficult, that you don't want to destroy your son's innocence, but when he does things like run off in the mall and says things about wanting to go to a stranger's house and see their toys, this is a catastrophe waiting to happen. My son was about the same age when I had to start doing this, and though I felt bad about it, I was very frank and told him that he could not just go up to strangers and talk to them, especially if Mommy didn't know the people either! I didn't go into great detail because at 4 a child won't understand what might happen, but I did say that some strangers were just not nice people, and that he couldn't trust everyone he saw because a bad stranger might try to hurt him. It frightened him a bit, but I personally thought that was a good thing. I did not phrase it so that he got so scared that he wouldn't talk to anyone at all, though -- you don't want to frighten your son into being scared of everyone and everything, but you do want to make him cautious and start building the foundation for street-smarts now.

I tried a harness on my son and that worked for about one trip to the mall. However, I only had one child to deal with, not three under the age of five! You might try one -- not a wrist strap that he can remove himself and which would put you back in the same predicament.

I hope you find a solution that works for you!

S. :)

Kids are very curious at this stage and love to wander. I usually have the kids in a stroller or I have a harness that I use for my son. He loves his "backpack." I got it at walmart for $11.50
http://www.walmart.com/search/search-ng.do?search_constra...

GoldBug 2-in-1 Puppy Child Safety Harness

The 4 year old is ready to be introduced to 'stranger-danger' concept. Mine did that too. and still do from time to time. I enrolled them to takewondo where the instructor talks to them about stranges and ways to protect themselves. I have to say now that my 4 year olds know and have heard about stranger-danger concept, not just from me, but from the instructor as well they're much better than they used to about running off when we're out. in fact, one day, just recently, at a grocery store, one of my 4 year olds got mad at me for not getting something so she walked to the next isle without me. it was maybe a matter of seconds I went to her, and found her being talked to by a woman. i got her, went back to my cart and my daughter said: a stranger talked to me. i said what did you say? she said i was about to start screaming stranger danger when you showed up. i don't think she would have known what to do before the concept was introduced to them. it's a scary thing to have to talk to our children about being taken away but it is better to start early especially in cases where kids tend to run off.
good luck

P., definitely get the video The Safe Side: Stranger Safety (you can definitely get it on Netflix, maybe Blockbuster has it?). It is excellent for kids and they like to watch it over and over. Make sure to watch it with your son and talk to him about the concepts in the movie. Then when you go out with him, remind him of it and point out to him what he does right and wrong using the terms from the video. This really helped us a lot.

I would definately get him a leash - or a babysitter. I'm not a big fan of "chaining" kids either, but it surely is better than losing them! I was always paranoid about someone taking my kids at the mall. I wouldn't take any chances and he is too young to really understand the danger.

Some parents have a problem with leashes saying their kids arent dogs. I say if you love your dog enough to keep it from running away and getting hurt, you should love your child that much too. Your son sounds like an outgoing and friendly child, which is a wonderful quality. Rather than stifle that I would control him with a harness and leash and keep him near you in public. The wrist leash wont work since he can take it off.
I was a foster mom for years and always put a harness on my toddlers. I often had 3 or more little ones at a time and would use the harness to strap them into grocery carts, since this was before they had seat belts. We also went on nature walks and the kids were able to explore in safety.http://mammakat.blogspot.com/

Hi P.,

This is very serious I think. Him wanting to go home with strangers is not good. I am sure you agree with me. I would and have explained the dangers to my daughter if someone were to get a hand on her. She stays very clear of strangers and even if they are MY friends I tell her they are still strangers to her. I would explain how they would and could hurt him. Not everyone is nice. This is just my opinion. I believe they have learning videos for this. Good Luck! :)

okay, I was soo you 5 years ago ...a 4yr,3yr,20mo and newborn...I know how you feel and I do agree with the introduction of stranger danger to a point, BUT don't scare the kid because if he ever does get lost he'll have to talk to a stranger to get help!! My rule for at the mall(or wherever we were that a stroller was in use)was the walking kids had to walk next to me holding onto the side of the stoller(I had one on each side)for tight space they let go and walked ahead untill we fit again...(my friend had a once store ahead approach, but for me they had to stay put). When talking about strangers/make sure you tell them that if they get lost look for another mommy(with a baby/kids) or go to the desk at the store and talk to the person working there...NOT all strangers are bad...If you have a SIMON mall near you...they have a kidgits club...it's $5 a year and everytime you go your kid gets to spin the wheel and get a gift(bubbles/playdoh...small)they also get gifts when they sign up and on their birthday's....this was my SAVOR at the mall...if they were good they got to spin the wheel...if not..better luck next time kid...and they LOVED to go to the mall because they knew their was something for them there...I'm not saying bribe your kids...I never did that it was a good behavior gets privlages thing...and the gift never came from me...just the opportunity. and one last note, embrace the outgoing personality...they're sooo much fun...just tell him he has to ask before he tries to hug or kiss someone because all people are different!! Goodluck!!!

I have an energetic, outgoing 3 year old son and a 4 month old daughter. I had my son on the leash when he was younger then he decided he didn't like it at around 2.5 so I started to train him to walk with me. It was fall and I was pregnant we practiced in the grocery store we always shop at. He ran away a lot at first and then he started to understand if he ran away he spent the rest of the trip in the cart. It took a few months but he is pretty good now-- he comes if threatened with a time out in the cart(we stated in October). I have tried also rewarding him with a small toy ($1 or less) if he does well but that brings up all the issues of him wanting it every time.

I am also starting to teach my son what to do if he did get separated from me. I read a book with him (Arthur Lost and Found) and am working on teaching him his full name, my full name, his address and phone number. I expect it will take me several months or longer.

There is a child finder type devise I saw in the One Step Ahead catalog. You put one part on the child and you have a remote and can push a button and it makes a loud noise to find the child.

Use the wrist leash - I used to use it with my son - especially when you have other little ones - a mom only has so many hands :)

Some kids are just like that - mine was happy and felt independent - but I had control

I just saw Joan London on a show and she has created one that she markets - I am sure you can google for it.

It's been a long time since I've been in the baby dept - if they have them there I am sure it will work fine.

L.
www.nosickvisits.com

I know with 3 little ones you must be very busy...but it sounds to me that your 4 year old is missing attention from you. Try to make special alone time with him as often as possible. Take him to the park, play his favorite games with him and read to him.

Hi P.,
I never used a leash but also never had 3 young kids, I had two kids 4 years apart and pretty much never shopped at a mall. You have two separate issues going on, the running from you and the stranger issue. Both are serious and at this point, I wouldn't go on mall outings with him and the other 2. Do you really need to go to the shopping mall so often? If so, go on a day that your Dh is off so that you don't have to take all the kids, or get a sitter for the 4 year old and just take the 2 smaller ones, or vice versa. The other thing that I could suggest is strapping the 4 into the stroller with the 1 year old and wearing the 4 month old in a front carrier.
4 year olds really can't understand stranger danger, this isn't your son's fault or your fault, even if you've told him again and again, developmentally they aren't ready to comprehend this info and what it really means. For safety's sake, I'd leave him at home if you don't have another adult to accompany you, or strap him in the stroller. Good luck,