Two Year Old Running..

Two year olds run... try a leash. Seriously, you can get one at Wal-mart in the baby section. I use one on my son when we are out.

I got one of those leashes that looks like an animal backpack (got it at Target). I always said I wouldn't put my child on a leash, but he ran ahead at the zoo and got lost for the scariest minute of my life. He really loves his "monkey friend".

This may sound mean, Walmart sells a "leash" that looks like a puppy dog back pack with a tail so it's stylish for the child. I put it on my daughter when we go somewhere with lots of people so I don't loose her. Works great and while at the mall in San Antonio we saw 2 other little kids with one on. They are getting more popular. You can't be too careful with your kids. Good luck:-)

My son was a runner, and just like your other response, I used the toddler harness. My husband hated it but I didn't care because I knew that my son was safe and still getting some freedom to walk on his own. Since safety was my biggest concern, I didn't care what other people thought. If they have never had a child that was a runner, then who are they to judge? Good luck!

Have you thought about getting a harness that zips around her chest (zipper in back so she can't undo it)? It has a clip that attaches to the back with a strap that attaches to your wrist. I know that it sounds kind of like putting your child on a leash (or at least that's how I felt), but after using it on two very active boys at the ages of 3 and 18 months, I am a firm believer in their use. It provides the child with room to move and freedom from being held on to, but at the same time it keeps them safe. My boys didn't especially like it at first, but they soon learned how far they could go from me and then were much happier than being tied down in a stroller or having their hand held on to all the time.

When you are walking they do have saftey frist harnest that I use when we are at the mall or out walking maybe you could set boundries that she can see and tell her that if she passes them she will have to go in or put on time out I have had this problem and now that we have been working on it he is much better still tries to pass the tree and when he does I put him on time out.

When my daughter was that age, she would run off at the drop of the hat too. I did the sensible and most reliable method of control - a leash. But be prepared, I had people who gave me dirty looks and even told me off, telling that I should be ashamed of myself and that you only leash your dog not your child. But for me it was a safety issue. I told them I'd rather have her alive, but thanks for your concern. With a ten month old you already have your hands full. Buy the leash, one that looks the most friendly and unleash-like would be best.

H., your question reminded me of something I heard. "Anyone that thinks the twos are terrible, never had a child that lived to be three!" :-)
I emphasize with your problem and you are right to try to get it under control now. I think your best bet is whenever she runs off, to catch her and (even though it is a huge pain) bring her back and have her sit at your feet for a set amount of time. (Maybe 2-3 minutes). Explain to her that this will happen everytime she does that and why. In the meantime, also enact a new rule - that she must hold your hand or the stoller at all times when walking about. After a few days, try it with her beside you. If she runs off, do the timeout at your feet and then have her hold your hand again for a few days. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. She'll get it eventually. With a baby, you can't be forced to run after a two year old all the time!
Good luck.

All of my toddlers were "bolters". No matter how much I tried to explain that "running away is dangerous because of cars, and strangers" they just didn't get it. You know..those cute blank stares and laughs, and then they're off and running again.

Up until my kids were three, I relied heavily on using strollers to keep them restrained. I'd use them shopping, walking, at church, where ever possible. If you start now, they'll get used to the idea so they won't put up a fight. Give them no alternatives either, otherwise, the stroller option will be moot. If necessary, invest in a really slim and lightweight umbrella stroller for maneuverability in all situations.

Also, try using a toddler harness or wrist leash. Though controversial (I've actually had people confront me on the street to say using a harness/ leash is "cruel"!) In my opinion, if you have an unpredictible child, this is a great to keep them safe. Especially in crowded places likes parks, zoos, and shopping malls. If they take off, you can pull them back to you.

There are also devices where you get a receiver and you can attatch a separate one to their shoes that beep when they get to far away from you. While this won't keep them from running away, this will help you locate them if they manage to get out of eyesight. www.onestepahead.com used to sell these.

At family picnics, outtings and gatherings where there were lots of people and excitment, but no fenced yard, a big swimming pool, or a nearby busy road, highway, lake etc...restraint was a lot more difficult. My husband and I would work out a system where we'd be assigned a kid, and just hover over the kid until it was naptime. We also invested in one of those heavy plastic portable play yards, and would let them play in that when we got tired chasing them around. This helped until they could crawl out.

Last but not least... work really hard to get the point across that running away is "dangerous". We still have to do this with our youngest, though now that we have older children, they also help us keep the younger corraled. Videos on personal safety aimed at kids is very helpful. There's even a really good "Dora the Explorer" personal safety book aimed at younger kids, that my kids liked.

Hope this helps. Unfortunately, this is one of those hair graying things you'll have to wait for them to grow out of.

You need to nip that in the bud right away.. Just because she is two does not mean that she should be able to get away with running from you.. You need to punish her, a time out, or a spanking. In cases where they are doing something that is dangerous, they need to learn that that is a BIG NO NO!! Listening to you and learning right from wrong will save her life one day!!! Good luck.

When my kids were this age I made going places a game, especially in parking lots when going in and out of places. We would make a train chain with my children in the front. The one in the lead would make the arm motions of train wheels and make the woo-woo sounds while those of us in back would make the chuga-chuga sounds. The kids thought this was great fun and they never thought of running off when mom was being silly with them. We also did silly walks, chicken walks, anything I could do that would entertain them but keep them close to me and from harm. I may have looked silly but I didn't care, my kids safety was more important. When they got older, I implimented opposite day, they had to do the opposite of everything I said. I would teasinly tell them, "Don't you dare walk next to me! No, I said you can't walk next to me....oh you kids never listen to me! (with a big exagerated sigh)" This resulted in tons of giggles on the kids parts (who would purposefully walk as close to me as they could) because, of course, they felt like they were getting away with something and it was ok (a great way to get them to do chores at home too!). Don't be afraid to be a little silly, it keeps them occupied and gives them good reason to stick close to you.

for short trips like form the door to the car, i do the death grip too :)

for long walks and in stores etc, I have a cute little harness that we use. it's a monkey/backpack/harness. very cute. never thought I'd be using one of those things- looking like I'm walking my kid like a dog, but hey... you get to a point where you do what you have to do... most people think it's cute and the neighborhood kids I run into think it's hilarious.

naturally, i also remind my little runner to stay where he can see mommy. I remind him of this even in the harness because it reinforces the concept pretty well.

My oldest is 2 1/2 and unless we're just making a quick trip to Target or Joann's he rides in the stroller. Which we only started doing very recently, within the last month or two. There is no way I'd trust him in a more crowded place like a mall or the zoo or something. If the stroller works to keep her restrained use it. I've never tried a "leash" so I can't give you any advice on that but if the stroller isn't working than it's worth a try.

H., yes its a good idea to keep a good grip on them or in stroller, its also a good idea to go to a park with a fence or a play area and let her run she might have more steam to let off, its ok, and perfectly normal, and yes keep a tight grip on her, gentle one, i used to just simply make a ring with my fingers around their wrist, they could not get it out, but it was not as hard on them as a grip could be, those days of those terrible twos, at first i was like what is everyone talking about, my first son hit two, and he was just as adorable, and i loved it, i was like phhhttt, he is not terrible at all, well he hit 2 and 1/2 and he did not quit till he was almost 4, ahahhaha guess he was saving up, ahahhahaha well any way, enjoy them while they are young, and enjoy thier energy just give them boundaries of when its appropriate to run where, they will eventually get it, my son is now 20 and he dont run from me much, ahahahahahhah take care and have fun, and keep a good grip on em, they are slippery, ahahahaha continue to keep them safe, D. s

The "twos" are terrific H., if you have the right tools. A two year old running away from her mom is playing games... but they are not ridiculous ~ they are normal (however dangerous).

Read: Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcenka. 15% of children are Spirited (smarter than us) and require a different approach to parenting.

Once you understand that your daughter is outsmarting you rather than being "disobedient", you will have the key to a wonderful relationship.

Remember, she is building her relationship with you every minute of every day. Running away from you is her way of getting your attention. What kind of attention will you give her in return?

Little girls are amazingly smart. Spankings and time-outs don't work with them. You need more tools in your toolbox H. - reading this book will save your life.

After my best friends 2 year old son wondered away from us at the mall, I bought a harness for my youngest when he started walking. Back then it was like a telephone cord with a velcro wrist band on each end. He hated the wrist band so I would dress him in bibs and hook it to the back of the bibs. My granddaughter has a harness that goes over her chest. It is simple to put on and most people now days understand the need for them. If it is going to the car or into the house, death grip is nessessary. My granddaughter runs away from us also when we want to change her diaper but knows she has to hold our hands when we are going to the car or when we are somewhere where there is traffic. If she starts getting away, we tell her stop! Then tell her cars come through there and we don't want her ran over. She is 19 months old so maybe she listens better then a 2 year old still. I guess you could play a game called "stop" and during the day say "Stop!" and she has to stand still. Play this often and make it fun. When she starts running away from you when you go to the car, say "stop" and she will think it is part of the game. You could even say "go" and teach her to stop until you say go again. If she thinks it is play she will be more likely to do it until it becomes habit.

My daughter went through the same thing and at almost three she is starting to get over it. She finally started ocming around when I had my son recently. It is not fun, however, it is one of those things that they out gorw. Reward her when she listens and keep a tight grip on her had when you first walk outside. I know it is hard with another child to hold on to. I have also found that if I give my daughter something to carry and let her help me with somehting she listens better and is less likely to run. Good luck.

Does she do this all the time? Or only sometimes?

When you get out of the car, get her out last. Make sure the baby is out of his carseat and everythign is set to walk to where you are going before you unbuckle her harness on her carseat. Make it impossible for her to run anywhere while you are getting organized by keeping her hooked into her harness carseat until you have your diaper bag on your shoulder, the baby on your hip, the stroller unfolded, etc.

My youngest tried the bolting thing. We were in a parking lot in St Cloud and he ran out in front of my car, and the UPS truck was coming. The guy seen him and looked over at me, and I made the motion like honking the horn and pionted at my son. The UPS man got it and honked his horn, scared the bejeezus out of my 2yo. He ran back to me and still to this day (4 months later) will not leave my side in a parking lot. Now probably not the best method, and I think it was a 'right place at the right time' type of situation, but he got the idea, and knows we hold 'hands in the parking lot' and is ver careful now.

When we get out of the car, my 6yo unhooks himself from his harness carseat, I get my purse and open the door, then I unhook the 2yo from his harness carseat, and help him out, then we all walk in. I make sure I'm organized and have everything ready to go before I unhook him so that I'm not left running after him with my car wide open or trying to grab things while he's running off.

Also just reiterate with her 'hands in the parking lot' and keep telling her how dangerous it is. Think about it, she loses the battle in the car. she HAS to ride in a carseat, no objections because its safe, so if you let her out... its like' FREEEEDOM!!!!' and she bolts. If you keep telling her how dangerous it is, insist she holds your hand in the parking lot, and don't unhook her from her carseat until yo uare absolutely ready to walk itn othe store, then you should be ok. She'll get it after a while.

Also, my youngest is 2 1/2, and we still use a stroller 100% of he time when shopping, and the cart 100% of the time when in the store/grocery store. I dont give him an option, and he doesn't know the difference. My oldest rode in the cart until hewas 3 1/2 and my youngest was born! Nothing wrong with keeping them 'restrained'. Its for their safety and your sanity.

well, the first thing you can do is invest in one of those great leashes!! my mother used one with me and i use one with my son. it can happen in an instant at that age, and better safe than sorry. people used to ask my mom all the time why she put her children on a leash. what a horrible person they must have thought her to be! but she would tell them better on a leash then gone!! (i was that age around the same time that baby jessica had fallen into the well... back in the 80s...) so that will give you some confidence.

just simple teaching that we always hold hands in parking lots or places where theres traffic. my son is told this over and over as we walk in parking lots. however, i usually put him in a cart or stroller so i dont have to deal with it, but just keep enforcing it. kids this age just want to do it themselves and walk, and if it means that mom will pick them up if they arent holding hands, she should get the idea after a while.

something that william sears brings up is that one time their son was about to run into the street. it wasnt a busy stree necessarily, but it was still the street. as he neared the street, mom (martha) yelled in a panicky voice... "NO! STOP! danger!" and the kid stopped cuz he sensed the panic in her voice! so you could see if that has any effect on her, although if you have any trouble with your kid trusting you on other requests, it might become a game. see how she reacts.

good luck, but most of all i recomemend the leash. :)

I personally don't think I could use a harness and I don't believe spanking is effective. I started a prize jar for my kids. My daughter is turning two tommorrow so I break it into half-days for her. I put two things that I know she likes in the jar in the morning/afternoon. If she is naughty she gets something taken out. She gets her prize(s) right before nap time and then again before bedtime. It is nice because I can threaten to take something away when we are away from home as well as when we are at home. It is easier than giving a time out when in public. I started her prize jar a few weeks ago and it took a few days before she fully understood it. In the beginning the hardest part was her wanting the prizes before it was time. I just kept telling her she had to be a good listener and then she would get them at nap/bedtime. I hope this makes sense! Whatever you decide to do just remember to be consistent. Good luck.

When she starts to bolt, take her firmly by the arm, give her two good swats on the bottom (where it's well padded) and tell her "no" with conviction. What a minute for that to sink in, then get on her level, look her in the eye and tell her, simply, that you love her and she must obey you to be safe. Repeat as needed until she gets the point.

SAHM of seven

My son did the same thing when he was little. I made a harness that covered his chest and went around the waist. and then simply hooked a dog leash to it in the back. A few people remarked that I was treating my child like a dog but I did not care I knew he was safe. I found that when I would hold his wrist to keep him with me he would get bruises from me gripping him so tight. So he looked like an abused child.
You can buy some really cute harnesses that have a small backpack that looks like a stuffed animal. I am not sure what stores carry these backpack harnesses but I am sure you could check out websites for stores in your area. I would suggest target.com, walmart.com, babiesrus.com and other stores like that. It would be faster than calling or driving to every store.

I have similar issues with my 23-month old son. I have a 3 year old daughter as well, so I know what it's like chasing after 2 kids close in age. My son takes off any chance he gets and seems to enjoy being chased. He has some speech delays (hearing is fine), so he cannot communicate what he wants or where he's going very well. I have had to resort to keeping him in a stroller or using a harness on him. I know those look silly, especially to people who don't have kids, but safety is more important than appearances. I've also tried playing stop-go or freeze types of games at home when he's not taking off. That way, maybe he'll learn when and where it's appropriate to run. Good luck!

Hi H.,

I try not to look at it as the 'terrible twos' that is when I get frustrated with my daughter for things she does. My mother-in-law has dubbed them the 'trying twos' and I remind myself of that ever time something happens that frustrates me. This is the age she wants to do everything and by herself, so give her things she can do while you are walking.

My daughter, who will be 2 in August, seems very much like your daughter. When out and about I always put my daughter in a stroller just because I know she wants to run places, especially when she is excited about being somewhere. I do let her out and I ask her to help push the stroller, because she loves to 'help out' or do what mom/dad is doing. This keeps her from running because I gave her something to do while walking.

I have thrown around the idea of getting a kid leash but I am not sure that is something I want to do. It is not cruel I just want to find another way for my kid to enjoy walking with me. Before we go on a walk I tell my daughter she has to hold my hand otherwise we will turn around and go back for the stroller (whether it is a walk around the block or walking in the store/mall/fair).

I watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 all the time and they used something that was a rope with rings on it for the kids to hold. I am considering making something like this (with just 1 ring, only have 1 child) because it would be more comfortable for the child to hold on (instead of both parent and child stretching to hold onto each other). This will be less constricting for her then the leash and it will be something she has to do (giving her the 'freedom' she needs and the safety I like).

All the above is just about walking... as for the bolting just keep reminding her that it is dangerous to do in certain places like the parking lot, street, unknown areas. It will take a while until that is what she remembers when she is in those areas... right now is thinking 'oh fun' and 'play with me mommy.' Now with the weather nicer outside I play outside with my daughter all the time, show her various things that we can do outside (push a small cheap kid size wagon to carry things around, bubbles, chalk, and tricycle/bike). Showing her what to focus on when outside may help her from just bolting/running when outside, now she will have something to do and more then likely like at least one of those activities so she will want to do it right away every time she plays outside.

Sorry it got so long... I can be long winded and have no idea how to cut down.

Hi H.,
I have been there. I had twin 2 year olds that loved to take off. My older daughter never did this so I was unprepared. I bought these wrist restraints that are attached to a lease(can't think of a better name). They are velcro on their wrists and I held the wrist strap. It worked wonders as I could keep them close with running in two different directions. They were a extremely helpful in the grocery store. I would connect the lease to the grocery cart and they could only move about 2 feet from the cart.(saved me from running around the store) I have also seen people use a restraint that goes around the chest and attached to a lease. My girls learned to stay with me quicker and after a while I did not need to use them. But I would awlays say, "if you don't stay with me I get out the "leases"" and they would stay very close. Hopes this helps oh I think I got them at Target or Babies R Us- can't remember as they are now 6.