4 Year Old Using Curse Words

He may be doing it for the attention. When mine were young I found that paying them no mind when they did it made it less appealing to them and they stopped om their own.

Hello A.,
My youngest son was the worst culprit in our house for doing the very same thing.Its a shock to hear a curse word coming out of an innocents mouth,but thats the key,they really do not understand what they are saying,its the amount of reaction they get from their parents that tickles them and keeps it going.I too tried all the old tricks but to no avail.My solution was to say 'salt and pepper' in such a way that made it sound like it was bad,I would put my hand over my mouth the minute I said it and act embarassed...the next thing I knew that was his new 'bad word'.He soon forgot all the others and when he had no reaction to his new one the habit soon ended.
Best of luck

A.,
I totally understand your frustration! My son went through a period just like yours. It's clear that you have set the boundaries which is the first step. Ask him why he thinks he needs to say those ugly words. Tell him that God doesn't like those words just like mommy and daddy. I know it's hard, but you're going to have to ignore it. He'll eventually stop when he doesn't get the attention from you. Just remember to praise him when he's doing good things, and it will pass. God bless!

my son is 9 and has severe autism and a seasure disorder so I can relate to your delima.my questain is do you think he knows what hes saying and just doing it to irratate or to him it might just be a word he has heard and hes getting your attention by saying it.children thrive on attention and will do what it takes to get it,weather its good attention or bad.I get irritated with my son to but have found if you let it go without making a big issue out of it it becomes less importen to say it and now its a ocasional curse word insted of frequent.just somthing to think about.to you the words have a derogitory meaning to him it might just be somthing to say.at 4 years old he dont know there meanings.this might help
and it might not but dont hurt to try.even good christain people get angry and let a bad word slip once in a while and we pray for forgivness and go on.as far as the meds I have a daughter thats on concerta and my son is on vyvance for adhd and my son is on tegertal for his seasures as well as rispiridol so he will sleep at night I dont beleave the meds cause this behavier its more like the attention hes getting for saying thease words.

Margie's got it! Ditto.

Dear A.,

Take a long, thorough look at www.Feingold.org. Feingold is a 30yr old non-profit association whose purpose is to inform the public about artificial ingredients in our foods. These ingredients are made from petroleum and are the cause of ADD, ADHD, OCD, and many other emotional disorders. These chemicals (and other toxins in our evnironment) can also cause seizures. My 15 yr old daughter is like your son - she simply CANNOT control her actions or her language when she eats artificial ingredients. Feingold was a Godsend for us. The editor Jane Hersey is VERY knowledgeable and helpful. Best wishes to you and your son.

L. B.

I am well aware at how seizure meds cause behavior issues. My daughter has issues with that. But how they act out is a result of their environment. You know you can't control behavior issues if they are brought on by meds. BUT, you can teach an acceptable behavior that is not against your beliefs. It sounds like maybe the meds are causing some anger issues. My daughter gets angry easily. Teach him to express his anger in other ways. You are the boss. Never allow him to get away with something that is wrong. If you do, then he will get mixed signals and therefore think it's ok sometimes. All my children went through a time of repeating what they heard on TV and each child seemed to repeat only the bad words. Ha! I nipped that in the bud quick. Children learn by example and repetition. If they hear it and repeatedly they will mock it until they are convinced it's not acceptable. i hope this helps.

Are you sure that you or your husband hasn't let one slip every now and then? If he is picking it up from TV I wouldn't let him watch tv at all unless it is cartoonish videos. I don't know how to get him to stop, I guess after a while if he doesnt hear it on tv he will eventually stop. THe more you make a big deal out of it them more he will keep doing it.
Hope you get it settled.

I'd start by getting to the bottom of where he learned these words. If it's from TV then he obviously doesn't need to be around that type of television. Of course, you already know that, so it could be something else. I worked at a pre-school in college, and a little girl started saying naughty words suddenly at school and her parents were perplexed. The little girl told them initially that she'd learned them at pre-school, which was untrue. Finally, they discovered that she'd really heard them from her mother's teenage brother. They were all very surprised that he'd speak this way in front of such a little one.

As far as punishing him. Just put your foot down. Maybe you could create a prize jar for him full of things he likes. Set a date when he can have these prizes if he doesn't say any bad words...but every time he does say a bad word, one prize comes out and never goes back in. Kids relate very well to visual type rewards like this, so they can actually see their reward and punishment with their own eyes.

I think the best thing would be for you to talk to the physician that had diagnosed him with the ADHD as well as the one who has put him on the meds for seizures and get professional opinions.

try a dab of Tabasco sauce on the tounge its worked great for us. also if you can stand it try to ignore it once he sees its not getting a response it will stop... good luck

Something that I have done with my daughter when she has a "Sassy mouth" is not washing her mouth out with soap, but actually putting a small amount of liquid soap on her tooth brush and have her brush her own teeth with it. My reasoning with her is that if nasty talk is coming out of her mouth we need to clean it up. When she does this herself(she'll be 5 June 2nd and we've only had to do this twice) she is taking responsibility of her own actions. Now, if she starts to say something cross or smart, I'll ask her if her mouth needs to be cleaned up and she usually says, "No, Mommy, I'm sorry" and that's the end of it.

First of all, he didn't make these words up -he learned them somewhere. Figure that out first. Secondly, soap, tobasco and spanking are just cruel- particularly for a child this age on medication with medical problems. The most effective thing you can do is ignore it and be sure the source is removed. Try to help him find more appropriate words for expressing his feelings, but realize that at four he is going to slip for a while even when he learns a new word. Be patient and loving. Cursing at this age is not the end of the world as long as you are working on it with him.

Try a sticker sad face chart. List 5 behavior issues you are having problems with: cursing, manners, rudeness, yelling, etc Whatever you are having issues with. Every day he goes with giving positive results he gets a sticker of his choice, everytime he curses or whatever he gets a big sad face. Remind him that when he gets so many stars (you choose how many, but start out small like 10) he gets a big surprise.
Put the chart where he can see it everyday. This worked and still works for my daughter since she was 3

Hi A.,

Four year olds will do almost anything for attention. You son has found a different reation from you by using curse words, even though he does not even know what they mean. Next time he uses those words, don't react. If he dosen't get a response from you, act like you don't hear him, he will stop. Of course he will find another way of getting more attention. Remember you are dealing with a four year old and he is only looking for a reaction, either good or bad. Having a child with ADHD is a real challange for a young Mom,
if he seems to get upset when you don't react try distracting him, read him a story, color with him, or if its a nice day, just go for a walk.

God Bless You,
M.

Hi A.,
My daughter went thru a time while she was 4 that she said a few curse words. We just tried our best to have no reaction to the words. She didn't really know what they were, but did know the 1st time she said one, we laughed - kids are looking to get reactions from the people around them. It seemed to work for us. She is 5 now, and we haven't heard a curse word fro her in a long time.

I know it is hard but try ignoring it. When he sasys a bad word, just say "we don't say that word" and ignore it. Good luck.

the best thing is to just be consistant in reminding him that those words are off limits. if you and your hubby get upset and make a huge ordeal out if, then he's getting what he wants...a reaction...but if your calmly and firmly say "that is a bad word...we don't use words like that in this family." eventually the novelty will wear off and he'll stop doing it. also...teach him words to use besides the curse words if he's angry or frustrated...like darn it, dang it, or even just make upa funny phrase for him to use that only the family understands.