4 Year Old Son Who Is Potty Trained, Pooping His Pants

Hi E.,
I do not know if this scenario is similiar to what I went through with my son when I divorced his Dad. He started to do the same thing and we blamed the divorce. Come to find out he is now 12 and being diagnosed ADD. I wish somebody could have given me some perspective back then and saved a lot of heartache. This may not be Caleb-but just a thought.
Good Luck!
T.

My daughter is now 13

After 12+ years...we are accident experts.

She has been to Doctor after Doctor for what they diagnose as Ecopresis....It started with a few cases of constipation, starting when she was just a few months old. Every Laxative in the world was tried and she would still only go to the bathroom 1-2 times a week. when she finally went? she passed things when she was 5 that were too big to flush. Then she stared having accidents 3-5 times a day. Who poops that much??? She was potty trained by 20 months...why is she having accidents. But x-rays showed she had an obstruction. The doctor kept giving her laxatives, Huge Fiber doses and drinking 1/4 cup of mineral oil 3x a day. I finally switched doctors.

We went to Dr. Baker at the Women and Childrens Hospital GI Clinic and a neurologist (on recommendation from Dr. Baker). Her problem was initially caused by a genetic back deformity (very mild scoliosis and bulging discs only detected by MRI) that caused her to have neurostenosis....a reduced nerve size and branching from her lower back. This is what caused the constipation. Because her colon didn't have the nerve supply needed, it did not know how to draw enough fluid to move her bowels, she was always constipated. The thought of going to the bathroom stressed her out becasue it was so painful and it made it worse. At times she was so obstructed that the stool did not pass, but the liquified waste would seep around the obstruction and make it seem as though she was having a zillion accidents.

As her problem went on and on, we found out from other family members that they had similar problems. Nobody wants to admit, yes, I pooped my pants....but after seeing her suffer for so long, I found out a sibling and 2 nephews had the same problem. I had an aunt that also had back problems causing reprodutive disorders.

Talk to your family and see if there is something someone can offer as faras a history of a disorder to help find the caue.

Some things they suggested...Drink lots of water. we gave her big kid cups instead of sippy cups with water and she refilled it from the dispenser herself. She loved it, and water doesn't stain when spilled anyway. Make the child sit on the toilet for a period of time right after meals, this is when the stimuli to move the bowels is greatest. Get a small stool for in the bathroom, so the childs feet are NOT dangling and they can relax and 'GO'. Lots of physical activity. It moved the intestines around and does prevent impaction. In my daughters case, the more flexible her back is she tends to 'feel' more when she has to go. So it motivates her in her gymnastic abilities.

She eventually grew into her colon and she is able to go wihout laatives....but there is so much damage done already. Her sphincter muscle does not "hold-it" now. If she says she has to go....she has to go NOW, not when we get home. She also has a limited ability to 'feel' the urge to go. So when she feels it, it's almost to late. So now? she has to time herself and go every 2 hours to keep herself 'empty' and prevent being in a situation where it is that urgent to find a bathroom. Being a teenager she learned that pantyliners are her best friend in school but we still buy lots and lots of underwear. she is resposible for keeping herself clean and being socially acceptable in public, although accidents happen...if the child is not punished, they won't hide it and help to work towards living with it comfortably. Nothing worse than dirty underwear hidden under the bed. eeewww. Her Doctor wrote a prescription for her school for unlimited bathroom breaks....during tests, exams, anytime, she has to go. she also has scheduled breaks to keep her 'empty'. When she was younger, we explained it like a water balloon....if you keep it empty and you never have to worry about it leaking in public.

If there is a liquid runny accident often....it may mean there is an obstruction. It is often accompanied by extremely foul smelling gas and an odor left in the soiled underwear that does not come out in the wash...like a 4 day old poop.

Please feel free to ask me questions about it if you think it is a similar problem.....

JUST ADDED

Stress is a big factor...new siblings, starting new daycare or kindergarten....its more common than people know becasue of course, people don't sit and talk about how their kids poops....they all brag about how quick they potty trained though...LOL

Check out these web sites

www.medicinenet.com/encopresis/article.htm

www.aafp.org/afp/990415ap/2171.html

www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/conditions/encopresis.html

kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/encopresis.html

I just went through the same exact thing. I also have a 6 mo. old, and my son is now 4 1/2. He was completely trained and then decided to start pooping his pants. It took a long time, but finally he stopped. There was nothing I could do, getting upset with him will not work. Just say "Oh that's too bad, maybe next time you can make it to the potty?" I always told them if they used the potty like a big boy, they would get a treat. Making them feel bad, it doesn't help. If anything they need a boost of self-esteem. It's a nasty business, but just wait it out.

Hi! E.,

I know this is scary for me to say, but my son was doing that for about year. And then I started to treat him with little prize. Nothing expenses something from the dollar store. OR give him a quarter for everytime he goes to the bathroom. He is clearly jealous of the attention you are given abigail and so this is his way of taking on your attention to him. Needless to say my son is now nine, my daughter is five, and they are both fine.

Try that and see how it goes. It is defiantly an attention getter for you.

He is rebelling and feels like he isn't part of the family becuase you are giving something/someone else your attention. My daughter has and sometimes still does and she is 4. I have her clean out her panties and put it in the potty and change herself. She doesn't do it too often now, but my hubby and I have been separated due to a deployment. She refused to go on the potty and started going in her underwear and everything after he left. I didn't pay much attention to it, but then when I started to explain to her what can happen if she keeps going in her pants, she started to go on the potty again and she is now fully potty trained. I hope that this has helped you.

L. M.

my daughter does the same thing, but her sister is 4 and shes 6. i've asked the doctor's and they told me it was nerves. she doesnt do it as much, but sometimes i think shes gtes lazy and doesnt wantr to stop playing to use the potty.

I have the same problem! My daughter is 3, she has been potty trained since last april. She continues to poop in her pants. She knows she is suppose to go in the toilet. She even knows to only do it when she is w/ either my husband or I. At first she said it was because she was scared that she would fall in. So we went out and bought her her own seat, with her own wipes, soap ect.. She was doing it after that and we thought we were done. Wel she has started doing it again. I am just so annoyed. We refuse to put a pull up, or diaper. I am not going to give into her. We have also started making her sit in it for a short while, and that has not helped, so if you find a answer let me know. I do know that this is a common problem. The pooping is a control thing for them, so maybe your son is rebelling with the new baby? My daughter on the other hand has nothing to rebel from, she just won't do it. So if any of you ladies have some advice that would be great.

Maybe this is his way of showing that he needs you more right now, if you just had a nother baby he is trying to adjust to the new baby, he may be taking it reallly hard, maybe try differnt things to make him feel speachel, i dont know if you would be up for it but maybe find a sitter for the younger one for just a few hours snd take you older son out somewhere really fun for him, tell him how good of a big brother he is and how much you love him, if he trys to help you with the baby let her do things like hold a bottle of rub the babies back. some times hids mess there pants becuase they are upset about something

If you dont think it is that then maybe its something like a change in his day is he in pre school or anything like that?
there is probly something making him stressed and unesay about something

I have the same problem with the second child my son is 5 years old so if you find anything the helps please let me know so i can try

my daughter wh is almost 6 wets her pants evertime i am pregenant and for a few months after the baby is born. I used to get upset over it but it does pass. I am now pregnant with another due in february and she started having accidents again-- i just try and make as much alone time with her as possible but i beleive it will all pass in due time. My oldest never had this problem but every child is different-- dont worry though it wil end!!
-marie

if you are really concerned, get a second opinion. my guess would be that it is a jealousy thing, though. try throwing out his underpants when he does it. my daughter had been potty trained as far as peeing, but would still poop in her underwear. i was pregnant, and she did it one time. i had really bad morning sickness then, and it made me throw up, so i said i wouldn't deal wiht it, and threw them out. she cried, and never did it again. also, make sure you are giving him tons of "big boy" attention, and then he may not feel the need to act like a baby for your attention. you know, play a game wiht him or somehting everyday, telling him it is his parent and "big boy" time, because he is a big boy, and the baby can't do it because she is a baby. this may also help. if you are comfortable with it, maybe you can even help him "change" her diaper, by giving you the lotion or powder or something. talk to him about how it is yucky wehn the baby does this, but she can't help it because she is to small, and how proud you will be of her when she is a big kid like he is and goes potty in the toilet all the time. subtly reminding him that he is a big kid, and letting him know, wihtout critisizing him, that the behavior is strictly a baby hting to do, and that you are so proud of him for not being a baby anymore may help. good luck.