Yeah, this isn't sitting so well with me either, But i also have the perspective of trying to teach the other 11 preschoolers while one had his own agenda that disrupted everyone elses. Threatening to move him to teh 3's really isn't the best solution. Does he act this way with you at home or when you go to a new store or restaurant?? Help the teacher to know your child. If he needs more time to explore the room, ask if you can bring him early and give him a chance to acclimate before everyone else comes. You know him best, does he have trouble being in groups, would sitting next to the teacher during story time help,or would he do better if he could watch from a chair a little separate from the group, where no one would accidentatlly touch him.???? Does he love Trains or Dinosaurs or Butterflies, is there something she can do to intice him, if you listen to the story we'll have time to play with the pirate ship later. Tell her how you dicipline him at home. Do you use time out, do you coax him, do you use natural consequences??? Is he visual, if he saw a sticker being put on his chart everytime she did what he asked, would that motivate him???
talk to your son, see what he likes about school, see who he wants to be freinds with, see what things he doesn't care for etc etc. His repeating Dave and Busters sounds a little like an anxiety thing to me, but you know him best does he always fixate on one thing??
Don't give up on this and don't be threatened. Speak with the director if you need to first and then bring in the teacher and brainstorm together how to make this work for your son. Don't be afraid to have him tested for add or something if that his what they recommend, either he has something and can be helped or he doesn't and you can cross that off the list. It's not that the teacher doesn't like you or your son, but she does have to manage the rest of the class and they have a right to learn too.
And yes to answer your question, you need to tell her that you are willing to work with her to figure this out, that you will make sure he is having a healthey breakfast and lots of sleep and is prepared and excited for school. But that you also expect her to give him at least until halloween to get used to the class and the group, before he is removed completely or to another class. demand a meeting and identify specifically what he is doing and offer her incite into how you would want her to handle him while handling the rest of the group.