3 Year Old Son Can NOT Sleep by Himself!!

Consistency, consistency, consistency!!! Whatever you decide just continue doing it every night. If you decide not to go into his room - let him know before bed that you will not be coming in there in the middle of the night no matter how loud or long he crys. It might be difficult for a couple of nights but then he will get it and stop. If you continue going into his room and even bring him into your bed - he's getting what he wants and will continue that behavior. You can change it, it just takes patience and consistency. Good luck.

I think "tough love" is the answer here :) I think in order to solve the problem, you will likely lose more sleep initially, but in the end, it will be well worth it. I would put a baby gate in his doorway and a chair just outside it. Be very clear at bedtime tonight that he WILL sleep in his own bed and the behavior isn't going to be tolerated anymore. Start a bedtime routine that you can keep with bath, story, etc. At bedtime, tuck him in and explain the rules one more time. One of you is going to camp right outside his door and pretty much ignore him. Don't get angry or yell, if he gets out of bed, just calmly put him back in and go back out and sit down. This will take awhile because he will just think it is a game at first. It won't take him long to realize it isn't. Make sure that you are getting him up in the morning on schedule and don't let him nap extra as you are working through this - that will just give him more energy in the evening to wear you down.

Good luck!

I agree with Starr B. because this is what I had to do. Eventually, I moved the chair farther and farther away, not in sight. And when she got up during the night, I calmly walked her back to bed, tucked her in, kissed her goodnight and walked out the door. We also worked up to shutting the door at night night time. Have a good night light. She picked it out.
With my second daughter it was a little bit easier in that I would read with her in bed, say good night and that I was going to get her sister to bed (or do the dishes etc) and then come back and check on her in 5 minutes. I always did and she was almost always asleep by then.
Hope this helps.

We are only 1 night into this... but it's worked so far... We went for the positive reinforcement w/ my 3 year old (who we stayed w/ until asleep). We explained that she needed to go to bed after we read books by herself and couldn't leave her room. We told her every time she did this, she would get a star. When she got 5 she would get to go see Toy Story 3 (for her a huge motivator). So we went to Wal-Mart and got a posterboard and made a chart with her... made it lots of fun. The first night (last night) she kissed me good night after books, and I never heard a peep!.... We'll try again tonight, but the bottom line here is maybe rewards woudl help... ie. use more cars as a motivator? Good luck - I feel your pain... We have a 2 year old too!!! (somehow).... and thank GOD he's still in a crib!!!

He is working you.

Explain to him how it is going to be, and then stick to it.
The first time he cries, go in there (but do not turn on the light or get him out of bed) and reassure him that you are near, but it is time to go to sleep now. After that, let him "fake" (your word) cry it out.
It may take a couple of nights, but he will soon learn that the game isn't working any more and will give it up.

By the way ......... I see so many of these questions about children not sleeping well at night.
While I feel sympathetic toward all of you, I just want to reassure you that it doesn't last forever. Before you know it, your children will be teenagers and your questions change from "how do I get him to sleep", to "how do I get him to get up" ? LOL !

It's all just a very short season of life. Try to enjoy even the annoyances while you still have them. They are grown and gone in the blink of an eye.

You took away his source of comfort and self-soothing and it doesn't sound like he has found an alternate one - you can't really cuddle with a car. Your job is to "teach" him how to fall asleep by himself when he knows his two favorite soft and cuddlies are in another room and his binkie is gone away.

Look at it from his perspective. Teach him the skill of self-soothing so that he can master this himself.

Get him a blanket or bear (or a stuffed car). I did it with a girl, but I think the process is the same. I taught my daughter to "soothe" her bear back to sleep when she woke up. I told her that the minute she woke up her bear woke up too and it was her job to get her bear back to sleep which meant she had to go to sleep. I showed her how to rub the bear's back and give the bear soft kisses. I told her she had to be really really still or it would keep the bear awake. I also told her that parents keep the bear awake and she needed to be a big girl and get the bear to sleep without me.

It took 2 or 3 nights of me coaching her on her new self-soothing techniques until she did it by herself and didn't wake up anymore. If your son wakes up and comes to get you or cries for you - simply say 'did you pat your bears back?' keep repeating that (calmly) until he gets the idea that there isn't an alternative.

I also agree that a structured bedtime routine is KEY at this age.

PS - you go through this again around 7 when the bear/blanket/toy is outgrown. Then you can be more direct and talk about her own breathing patterns and thinking calm good thoughts etc to get herself back to sleep.

He is seeing what he can get away with. When he cries, you bring him to your bed. That is a very hard thing to break him out of, so it needs to stop now. My kids have slept in their own beds from the time they were old enough to roll over by themselves. I suggest cutting out naptime. He will fall out like a light most nights. Also there is nothing wrong with letting him cry. Do Not stay in there until he falls asleep. That, too, will become a "lovey" for him. I do go to each child's room at night and read them a story. I also have a 3 year old whose lovey is actually his blankie. He has his night time moments a few times a week. But I do our nightly routine first and let him know how much I love him, kisses and all that nice stuff. If he calls for me, I will come. But I will only stay no longer than 2 or 3 minutes to tuck him back in, kiss him some more and tell him to go to sleep. You may have to go in his room a million and one times a night, but do not stay long and do not bring him to your bed. He will eventually fall asleep once he knows he is not getting his way.

Does he have a night light in his room? Is he maybe all of a sudden becomming afraid of the dark? For my son who is 3 I bought him a wind up flash light from Santa and ever since then he has had much better nights. My husband lives in a different state for another month then we all get to move there. So I am alone with no support when he wakes up. So I can understand bringing him into your bed when you need sleep.
Good luck I know that this is hard.

you took his self-soothing method away. brenna had a good idea. put yourself in his shoes. how was he supposed to magically know how to soothe himself without his binky? our job as mothers is to teach, we can't expect a three year old to know these things.