Getting 3Yo to Ditch His Paci

No judgments here! I'm just wondering why you see this as necessary. Very few kids will take their binky with them on their first sleepover--and up to then, who cares what they use at night?

I completely disagree that a paci at night only is harmful to him. It's you who want to get rid of the paci at night because you think he's too old to have it. Maybe you're right and maybe not. It seems some kids have problems (maybe ecause of pacis and sucking thumbs) and some have no problems. I sucked my thumb until age 4 and have perfect teeth(no braces) and never a problem with speech development at all. We did the paci fairy thing at 3 with my oldest , but he was ready for it. He has great teeth and no speech issues at all. My youngest just gave it up on his own at 2. If he's so attached that he will cry and not sleep, then just let him give it up when he's ready. He won't have it on his honeymoon!

I know you have probalby heard this but now it is coming from a preschool teacher who has had a lot of expierence with children and their paci.

TAKE IT AWAY! It will be hard and he will cry and you will have some awful nights but think about 2 things:

1) it is harming him- physically through his teeth and gums, educationally through stunting his oral language development and socially/emotionally because he is not able to self sooth (meaning without his paci) and being able to make yourself feel better is a necessary skill that children must learn.

2)if you can't put your foot down with your 3 year old what are you going to do when he is 5 and doesnt want to change his underwear? Or 10 and doesnt want to go to school? Or 16 and he wont stop drinking?

I know this sounds harsh, but your son is smart! He islearning that if he really wants something it doesn't matter what you say. We all heard it from our parents and now we understand "this is more painful for me than it is for you"

Just take it away. We took my son's away at 19 months when he switched to the bed. We told him binkies are for babies and big boys sleep in beds. Since he was going to be in a big boy bed, he didn't need the binky. (he climbed out of his crib so we didn't have a choice in that switch). He only asked for it the first two nights. I was babysitting a little one that had a binky still, but my son didn't care. A couple months later we were unpacking a box that we'd never unpacked when we moved into our house and we found a binky. I handed it to him and he looked at it then threw it in the trash while telling me "binkies are for babies".

The other option I've heard of, since he's older and can comprehend a bit more, would be to have him give it to Santa so Santa can give it to another baby, then have Santa leave him a special big boy present (you could do this before Christmas if you want to play up the idea that Santa is going to give it to a new baby for Christmas).

I whole heartedly believe (and am proof) of the damage they can do to teeth.

Hi K.. We just went through this with our 3 year old son. We knew we should have weened him earlier, but due to oral sensory issues and his progress with an OT, we put it off longer than we should have. He had also been having terrible night terrors, so we kept it as a soothing method. Our last visit to his dentist, we were given a talk about (at least for him), his teeth were starting to form around the paci (the front had an O shape and would not close right), but there was enough time to correct the situation. Now...I understand that every child is different and some children may not have this issue (and hey, it's no guarantee that braces may still be needed), but that was the turning point to REALLY try for us.

We tried the "you're too old" method, and the "cutting the binky method", and the "another baby needs it" method. We had also heard of the "paci fairy", the "sew the paci into a favorite stuffed animal" and even the "coat the paci with something sour" theory. And all those ended up with 6 or 7 hours straight of screaming through the night for several nights in a row. And yes, we gave back in.

Finally, at about 3 years and 3 months, we had gone to a toy store and he saw a big Bruder truck he really liked. We told him the night that he was able to make it through without the paci, we would go the next day and get it. And it took a few more days for that to be worth it for him, but he would bring up the truck and we'd repeat the offer. And finally, one night he made it. And we went to the store and got him that truck, as promised (we didn't have him "turn in the paci to the store clerk", another method I heard of.

Now...that said, he still occassionally has night terrors (a couple times a month or more), so we did keep one in the house as a reserve. If he has a night terror, we use it and take it away the next morning (or as soon as the terror has ceased). There's been no pleas since. He loves that truck so much! (So do we!)

Good luck and email me if you need any other suggestions!
RG

There are some very good ideas here like the pacifier fairy or replacing it with another toy. However, for a parent that doesn't have a child with health issues or other issues, they may not understand how a child who has these problems needs some method of self-soothing to fall asleep at night. Taking it away without offering some other method of self-soothing will just terrorize him. Some kids have a really easy time dropping off to sleep without this, but others - well, just don't.

It's possible that he will just one day stop using the binky, but because you're concerned you could let him start to identify something other than the binky as soothing for sleep time. It can be a blankie, a stuffed animal, maybe some quiet music or even rubbing his back. Without another way to soothe himself, however, he may find something you consider to be even worse, like thumb sucking. It's important to approach this gently and with compassion, while also being firm. Yeah, I know, easier said than done.

My kids are much older now so I can tell you that sleep issues will continue as they grow. If you can start a pattern now of helping him learn to soothe himself to sleep, it will help him learn for himself. It takes a lot of consistency and patience on your part which isn't always easy. But it will help both of you down the road. When my son got older I taught him how to relax his body starting with his toes all the way up to his head, gently allowing each part to "go to sleep." He's always asleep by the time he reaches his head, or so he says!

In addition to being a mom, I'm also a home daycare provider; I've seen a variety of children with different needs who have all different ways of soothing themselves for sleep. This is totally normal. How you deal with it will determine, for the most part, how your son reacts. I think another parent summed it up pretty well, "He won't have it on his honeymoon."

I don't really have any advice, I am really looking for some too. My daughter is going to be 4 and still uses her binky. We say that it is for naptime and bedtime only, but lately she has been using it more often telling me that her teeth hurt if she doesn't have it. And I too, am fully aware that she is too old for the binky. We are thinking about trying the Binky Fairy, we told her that the Binky Fairy comes, and we don't know when because she makes the decision when it is time to give up the binky. So the Binky Fairy comes and takes the binky one night, but leaves a present. I have been telling her that it is not good for her to use a binky and that after the age of 4 it can really mess up her teeth, which is true. According to several dental sources if they give up their binky around or by age 4 then it will not mess up their teeth. My daughter takes her binky out immediately when I remind her of that, but always comes back to it. Good luck to you, we are in the same boat and I too am dreading the possibility of going "cold turkey".

I wouldn't worry about it too much -- just let him wean off it himself. I mean, he's only 3.5. Doubtful that he will be going to his first sleepover with his pacifier. Just talk to him about it and let him know that big kids don't use pacifiers. He will eventually make the decision himself. Also, since it's a security thing, perhaps there is a toy that he could hug while he sleeps? Sort of replace one security things with another that is more acceptable for longer? I would be worried that if you really push him to ditch the pacifier that he will start sucking his thumb instead, which will be a harder habit to break.

hi -
2 thoughts...
1) completely cut off the nipples and say "uh-oh they're broken"

2) paci fairy - here is a site that gives some ideas related to that ...
http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Supernanny-techniques/...

good luck!

:)

My older child just threw hers in the trash. My younger child left hers for Santa to give to other kids who needed them. SInce Christmas is coming up, maybe you get him into that idea. Both kids gave it up several months shy of turning 3. They asked about their pacis for another night or two, but we reminded them they were gone, and they got over it and eventually didn't ask again. You'll get him through this and probably look back years later and remember it as no big deal. Good luck!

depends on if he is truly using it or more playing with it.....I recently took my 3 year olds binky away.....and wow had i known all that was going to change i would of let him have it til he was done...
He now takes hour or more to fall asleep and is a lighter sleeper (with binky about 15 min and slept like a log) He now sucks on his sleeves of shirt or tips of fingers and trys sucking on lots of toys. 2 months and couting....getting better but still long way to go.

* my 1st son, was easy to wean from binky and had did not have big impacts like my 2nd.

He's not too old for the paci. My ped and my ped dentist told me as long as my daughter ditched it by 4, there would be no lasting issues with her teeth or palate. We managed to get rid of it by 3... at her 3 year old well visit to the ped, we put all her binkies in a bag and brought them to the Dr so that she could "give them to all the new babies that would need them as a prize for being good during their doctor's appointments". She was so happy to help other kids that giving away the pacis was less traumatic for her than if we just took it away. The next couple of nights were tough without them, but she quickly adjusted. The other thing we did was take her and let her pick out her new "night time cozy" that she could sleep with in her bed to help her when she missed her paci.

Good luck. And remember... it is easier to take away a pacifier than to stop a thumb sucker so if he needs it, let him have it until he is ready to give it away! You don't want him to find his thumb when his paci leaves the bed.

Cut X's into ALL of his paci's so that they don't work. When he comes to you to tell him they are broke say, "Sorry!" He'll lose interest soon enough. At least mine did.

my daughter just turned 4 the day before halloween and she speaks very well and doesnt have ANY dental problems so what Kendra said is not always true..she finally got rid of her paci on her own like a week before her birthday..i asked her when she was going to let it go (she used it all day) she told me that she would throw it away on her birthday and she did it a week before so just breath and he will let go when he is ready...good luck to you

I've often heard of the paci fairy coming to take the paci to another baby that needs it. I don't know if that works but I've heard it many times. If you do go cold turkey, remember it will only be temporary, but how temporary I have no clue. Good luck!

when my oldest turned three i took them all and threw them away. when she asked i told her they were all in the trash. she didnt say anything just went on her merry way. she asked one more time with the same reaction. try that. i thought she would have a fit just as you do and now i wonder if i could have tried it earlier.

Go cold turkey - that's what we had to do with my 7 year old when she was almost 3. One good thing - you probably won't end up with a thumb sucker. My 9 year old gave up her paci on her own before her first birthday and she STILL sucks her thumb to this day. UGH!

we just "lost" the paci. i tell him he can look for it when he wakes up, then don't remind him to look for it. i just did this with my 2.5 year old and it took a few days to get over it.

my son ditched his at 3 1/2. At that point he had bitten through most of them and had only a few that were usable. I told him when he bit through them they were going to be gone and he would have to go without them. I think there was some whimpering the first night, but after that, he was fine. He found another binky somewhere in the house a few days later and I actually poked a hole in the top of it when he wasn't around. It went much better than I thought it would. My daughter was horrible. At 3 1/2 she gave them up, but then we gave them back when she started having bad dreams. It cost a lot to get them away at age 4. We took her to Build a Bear and she put them inside a bear named "binky bear". She slept with binky bear for a week or so. We had the Binky Fairy bring her gifts and tell her how proud she was of her the morning after her first binky free morning. Good luck. just don't give them back and try to find all of them and get rid of them before they find them.