I'm having an issue with my son backtalking his teachers at daycare. It happened once last week and then again yesterday. Last week his teacher told me that he was telling her "you don't tell me what to do" (which he has NEVER said at home), "i'm not going to" and when it was to hand out treats and she told him he wouldn't get one because he didn't listen that day, he told her "yes you are". It became so bad that she had to send him to another classroom because she couldn't handle him. Yesterday was the same story but apparently it wasn't as bad. Now my son does backtalk at the house some but not to that extent. When he does, he goes to time out after the second warning. That is the way we handle it at home. When his teacher told me about his behaviour, I talked to him, took him home and his punishment was he couldn't go outside or to his grandparents house. This upset him a lot. (He loves his grandparents very much) I am unsure where to go from this point. He knows backtalking is unacceptable. And other than these incidents at school he is a normal, happy 3 year old. How do I get him to stop? Or is this normal for this age? I don't want him to become the "problem" kid at daycare. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Thanks everyone for the all the advice and encouragement. He had a better day yesterday. This is my first child and I'm just winging it lol We are going to continue talking to him daily about listening to his teachers and he knows what we expect from him and that there are going to be consequences for his behaviour. I also know that he's not going to be perfect everyday and some days are going to be better than others (I have those myself lol)
No more second warning, put him in time out the first time and make it very clear this is inappropriate behavior.
As a side note, I think it's weird the teacher couldn't handle a back talking 3 year old and sent him to another classroom.
Dr. Sears has some good advice on this here though (scroll down for the "talking back" section):
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T063200
This is the mouthy age :) But it sounds like you are handling it right. Backing up the provider is good! I only wish all parents would. So many of our parents make excuses for them. This will pass.
I also think it's strange the teacher couldn't handle this - very normal behavior. I think you are doing the right thing... just consistantly make clear the behavior is unacceptable. If this is the worst thing you are dealing with, I think you have a pretty easy going toddler! Good luck!
I agree with Momma L. He doesnt need warnings for repeated incidents. If you want to do one warning a day, then time out, or straight to time out. I disagree that it is typical for a three year old to not occasionally but repeatedly, continuously, talk back to his teacher. I also always feel I have to stick up for fellow teachers, we cannot send them to their rooms or walk out of the room to give ourselves a break from a kid who has been pushing our buttons all day. (when I'm Mom I can) We cannot lose our temper and say anything inappropriate. We CAN give a break and get a break by placing a child in a safe, appropriate environment with another teacher. Doesn't make her a bad teacher.
The grandparents are an extension of family and I would not stop the visits as punishment. I would have him tell grandma and grandpa why he got in trouble at school and at home, so they can be a back up for you, dad and the teachers. They too can talk to him about acceptable and "unacceptable" behaviors and the consequences. Of course speak to your parents in advance to make sure everyone is on the same page and they won't brush his "back talk" behavior as nothing.
Blessings......
Can't handle a 3yo talking back, huh? Lol. I'm not a teacher so I won't judge. :)
Is another student/child doing it? Has he witnessed someone saying those things, like and older sibling, father, uncle, or male figure? Has anything changed at home to make him want to act out?
I agree with Momma L. no matter the situation, correct it immediately. Time out and/or taking away his favorite things. Talk to him and make him understand why you're punishing and why he shouldn't be disrespectful.
Might be time for group sports and/or karate if they accept him at his age.
Good luck to you mommy.
Make sure you are consistant in having consequences at home when he gets a negative report from school. He needs to learn now that he must conduct himself properly in school. Don't let it become a habit. Nip it now. he must have seen some other kid do this and is trying it out to see if it works for him. Don't let it.
My 4.5 year old picked up this behavior from another child at school. I noticed some unacceptable behaviors such as covering his ears when he didn't want to listen and talking back. The teacher called me last week and said my son was having a rough week and that is when I learned it was another child who was receiving negative attention and doing these behaviors. I had a sit down with my son to talk about negative and positive attention and to use good judgement. Your son is a little younger but put it in a shorter more understandable talk and hopefully you'll get a difference. The next day when I called the teacher, she told me he was having a wonderful day and how great he had been. I guess telling him that not being able to go to grandma's(he also loooves going to the grandparents) and that boys who don't listen don't get to do fun things in addition to the right and wrong, really got through!
