2Yr Old Having an Absolute Fit Going to Bed

OMG! My 2 year old son is doing the same thing! As soon as I leave him in his crib, he literally jumps out and runs to my room!!! I Took the bottle away from him about 2 months ago and I find it more difficult to put him to sleep. He shares a room with my 6 year old son. What I've been doing is lying on the floor next to my 2yr old's bed and singining him to sleep, Then I go to my room. It gets pretty hard at times when I'm really tired.... but I refuse to give in to him, too! However, I must admit that last night I gave in :(

Since you are working full time she may not be getting enough time with you. Kids do all sorts of odd behavior when they need some more attention. It will spring out of nowhere, but be a sign for you to acknowledge. I have raised 2 and have 2 grandkids.....Try a little more one on one time, it just might work for her needs right now.

sounds like my 2 1/2 yr old son. Do you know if maybe your daughter is having nightmares? My son started after he had what seemed like a terrifying nightmare. We have to reassure him a lot, but nothing will do unless we stay right there until he falls asleep. We've tried to let him cry and he screamed for up to 1h30 (with us checking in regularly). Finally, I have decided to just stay by the bed for now, because he may be having some real fears, even though I know he is milking it a little bit. But in terms of attachement, maybe that is what he needs right now, for me to be there, for him to know that I am there and feel my hand on his cheek while he drifts off. That way, he's off to bed or nap time much quicker and I have more time to myself and get less frustrated. He also comes into our bed at night which he never did before. We were fighting it initially but now, sometimes I let him for a little while. The problem is he kicks a lot, so after a while, we bring him back there. He protests, so we stay a little bit in his room and since he is tired, he will go back to bed. Not sure what it is, probably just going through a phase.
I was also very firm about him going to sleep on his own, not coming into our bed, but kids grow and change and sometimes you have to adjust the rules to their needs. I started having memories of my mom staying by my bed until I fell asleep, after a bad nightmare of just being afraid of the dark. And I realized it would have been horrible if she had refused to come. Sometimes they just need you. It's a tough balance to strike.

2 years is when they start playing you, everyone hears of the terrible 2's. In my opinion if you let them have room at this time, they will take it. Might have had somthing wrong the first time, but the rest of the times, she proubably just wants your attention. At 2 she can cry it out, it will hurt you more then it hurts her, but it will break the habit.

We have gone through some sort of this thing with all 3 of our boys. I think at a certain age they all go through a phase of being afraid of the dark, noises the house makes at night, and a blossoming imagination that can make their dreams scary.
My oldest got a flashlight for christmas one year, a lion, the light is in his mouth, you push the button in the handle on his back and he makes a little roaring sound when he opens his mouth with the light. This was a life saver! He got the flashlight at bed time, it "lives" on his bed actually. When he was scared he had his "buddy" to help protect him. He also got to pick out a special "buddy" to sleep on his bed with him, a Superman stuffed doll, that helped "protect" him and chase the scaries away.
My youngest boy went through it the worst, crying as soon as you closed the door. Bedtime was moved a little earlier so he could have one more special bed time book read to him while he was in his bed.
Good Luck!

You might want to try getting Dr Harvey Carp's "Happiest toddler On the Block" he teaches how to communicate with your toddler to reduce/eliminate tantrams and gain theri cooperation. I have not gotten to try it myself yet, my son is only 10 mos., but it comes HIGHLY recommended to me
I hope that this or something else helps you!

Your two year old sounds just like my little girl. She's not quite two yet but every since we transitioned her to her toddler bed she has cried and screamed when time to go to bed. The first couple weeks (at least 14 days straight) we were so frazzled and frustrated until we decided to just close the door and let her cry it out. At first I was worried that something would happen, she'd pull something off the dresser, she'd stick her toys in the electrical outlet somehow but we were so sleep deprived that it didn't matter.

It's been a few months now and if we leave the door open she will come into the room every night so we close the door and her and her sister will play with each other for an hour but eventually she falls asleep.

So my suggestion is that if the room is safe then close the door and let her cry it out for a while, after a few weeks she will understand that she has to stay in her room and that you aren't coming to get her. Maybe add a night light so she doesn't become afraid of the dark. The best thing for my daughter is that she has her older sister in the same room so more often than not in the morning she's in her sisters bed.

But I understand your frustration and I know how it feels to be so frustrated due to a lack of sleep. That was the only thing that worked for us. Good luck.

Kids go through different levels of awareness. A prime example is the beach... one year they have no fear at all, the next year they won't go near the water and then the following year they aren't afraid anymore. Your daughter could just be realizing that you sleep too, or maybe she is afraid of something. Comfort her and let her know that you are always protecting her. I'm with you on holding your ground and not letting her in your bed, once you start it's hard to get them out, besides those little people are major bed hogs. Just know that it won't always be like this at bedtime.

My son went through this at about the exact time as yours! It drove me crazy! He was waking up several times a night and we were having to lay in bed with him for up to an hour every night before he would fall asleep. I finally found HoMedics sound machine with a built in projecting night light that has 3 disks to choose from, and I swear it has helped SO much! You can find it in the sound machine section at Bed, Bath and Beyond or Linens 'N' Things for like $30 and it's totally worth it! Try it out and let me know if it helps you!

Good luck,
M.

Could be she had a nightmare, heard a scary noise or is experiencing some kind of fear of something you haven't figured out yet.

I don't think a child that has been easy going so far is going to start toying w/you all of sudden.

I'd play detective and see if you can find out what she is afaird of and develop a way for her to combat that fear.

I remember my son went thru some kind of fear about ghosts, so I got him a ghostbuster backpack toy from the movie. We would do some ghostbusting before bed. We had fun, he felt more in control of his fear and we got a good night's sleep:-)

Aloha, D.

sounds like a peak in separation anxiety... maybe play in her room a bit more during the day so she doesn't associate it with the moment of separation from you at bedtime? And, if she has language, you can ask her to help you come up with a new bedtime routine? She might just want to have some control over her situation and that might make her feel empowered at that highly charged hour. And, maybe a new transitional object? my son never attached to one until almost 2 yrs. old, but give extra love and hugs to a stuffed animal or some blanket. Tell her she can get all the kisses at night when you are not with her. That can bring comfort as well. good luck!

S.,

Since your daughter is two I think that standing at the bed is not necessary. With my son I have gotten in the habit of doing some reading or my Bible Study in his room as he falls asleep. I am very comfortable and I just make sure I do our normal routine of book, song with back scratch and a "good night". I don't give him any more attention but he knows I will stay in there and he relaxes. If he continues to cry or bother me I tell him that I will have to go read in the other room if he can't lay down quietly. He has tested me but not for a long time.

Hope this helps,

Evelyn

We had the same issue with our daughter, who also has always slept well since birth. We did the "sitting in the room" technique. We sat on the floor of her room- no talking and no eye contact, every 3 or 4 days we moved closer to the door until we were sitting outside her room. In the middle of the night, when she got up and wanted to be in our bed (we do not co-sleep), I set up a bed for her on the floor (layed on king size pillow, blanket & pillow) and slowly took stuff away there too. She had to start brining her own pillow, then her own blanket... now (almost 3) when she gets up in the middle night it's only to pee. Good luck, this phase will pass!!

Hi S., I completely sympathize. We had to transition our son when he was 2 years old to a big boy bed in the other room (out of his crib and the nursery room), because I was pregnant and expecting another baby soon - and he wasn't too happy about it at first. What worked for me was transitioning him gradually - it's hard at that age because they can't talk as much yet or communicate if something stressful happened during the day - or if they're having nightmares and are afraid of falling asleep by themselves, etc. I think a nightlight is a good idea, too.

What we did with our son was give him a calming bedtime routine, hugging him while reading bedtime stories, etc. and then after we turn out the lights, we would sit near his bed, and talk very little (or not at all if he tried to keep talking to us). And then the next week, we would start sitting a little farther away from his bed and closer to the door, but he could still hear our voice. We would always leave the door halfway open - and then we would sit right outside his door, etc. It took a little while, but I felt that this worked better with our child than leaving him to cry it out. Personally, I think it would be terrifying for a child to be in a dark room with the closed door, esp. if they're trying to communicate something to their parents but don't have the words to express it yet. We found the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley really helpful, too. And maybe if she's 2 years old, maybe you could re-create the room into a "big girl" room for her with some new decorations or move her to a toddler bed as a new "fun" bedtime routine? Hang in there! =)

Have you thought about moving her to a toddler bed. It worked for my eldest, when he was showing the same symptoms as your daughter. Just a thought.

Hi S. ,
It may be time for a change. It sounds like your little one is growing up and is trying to take some control ,which is totally normal. Maybe you should explore the possibility of getting a toddler bed . You guys could talk about it as a family. Make sure she knows this is a "big deal" because she is getting to be a big girl". You can find toddler beds that are pretty inexpensive. Besides you will need one eventually right?
Another thing we tried with our son was a bedtime chart. For everynight he slept all night in his bed he would get a gold star. After a week he would get a special treat. Nothing big, like a new book or a bottle of bubbles or soemthing to decorate his new big kid room.

My son (now 3 1/2) has been an excellent sleeper. The only time he has had problems has been when he is getting sick or teething. Check to see if her two year molars are coming in. If you can't find a physical problem, I would ignore the crying (easier said than done, I know). She's a little young to have night time fears (nightmares, scared of the dark). That usually doesn't begin until three's.