21 Month Old Still Not Sleeping at night...Please Help

I know it's going to be very hard, but I would try to go in there, not pick her up, just rub her back.. she will probably get mad and cry harder but once she realizes that you aren't going to pick her up she'll eventually be soothed that way and eventually not wake up at all. You're probably going to have at least 2 or 3 bad nights, but it should get easier each night. I think consistency is the key. Good luck!!

my 2 boys insisted on nursing if I went in to them, however, if my husband went in, he could get them to go back to sleep without food. Eventually ( I think it took about 2 weeks) they stopped waking up. Good luck, I am sure you are desperate for sleep!

Omygoodness! My little Girl was the exact same way, instead of holding her breath she throws up..... I had to just stop breastfeeding cold turkey, and I know it sounds harsh, but it had to be done. I told her the milk was broken. Then I proceeded to take 2 100 mg of b6, once in the morning and once at night. It helped so much with the breastmilk and soreness. I hardly suffered in that aspect because of the b6. We had a close family friend bring pretty sparkly cups just for her, to drink her big girl milk and juice out of. (And we were very enthusiastic about how cool they were!)That did it. She LOVES loves loves Chris and Anything she gives her is a prized possession, and it was a suitable replacement- she hesitated a little from time to time, but with me taking the b6, I just didn't know if I gave in and nursed what effect it would have on her, so, it was a no more nursing period! sort of situation. Mentally for me, it was sad, as she is our last and only girl as well. But I found once she was not breastfeeding, she went to sleep easier and only stirs at night, does not fully wake anymore. We make sure she has a snack before bed, and a little drink, and Potty of course, and she sleeps through til morning. She has found a spot on the couch that she falls alseep at, and then I carry her to her bed. I know I know, but it works! She gets her blanket, and snuggles up and dozes and falls to sleep. Hope this helps.

My daughter became used to using nursing as her way to get back to sleep at night too. I used the Pick Up, Put Down method from the book, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. It seemed crazy, but I needed to try something, and I didn't want to let my daughter CIO, so I tried this method. After three nights (and each night got easier and easier), my daughter was able to get herself back to sleep on her own. It was wonderful! I'm sure you could find the book in your local Library. Good Luck to you!

Hang in there mama. It's not the end of the world. My Dd is still nursing at just shy of 2 although we did nightwean at 16 months. From 6 months to the night we nightweaned, she was up anywhere from every 1.5 hours to ever 3 hours. It was so much worse than the newborn phase.

I decided at 11 months that nightweaning was the only thing that was going to save my sanity, but I knew that I wouldn't do it before 12 months. Then life got in the way for the next 3 months.

We did a modified version of Dr. Jay Gordon's routine.

First I decided on the time that nursing would be off limits. For us, that's 11 pm to 7 am. that means that if she wakes up at 10:59 and wants milk, she gets it. I'm flexible in the AM. DD is a pretty early riser so she can have milk as early as 6 am, but I prefer she sleeps in until 7.

For days 1-3, I shortened the time she was being held and nursing and repeated the mantra, "its the middle of the night, it's time for sleeping." For days 4-6 I picked her up out of her crib but did not nurse her, adding "milkies went night-night" to the mantra. For days 7-9 I would talk to her in her crib, but did not pick her up. Back rubbing okay. Starting with Day 10 I didn't touch her.

Due to constraints in the house we are in, her crib is in our bedroom. It was important to me that she wasn't crying and ruining everyone's night. Everything went pretty smoothly.

The most important thing is to be consistent. If she fusses for 30 minutes and you cave - then she learns that if I fuss for X mom will give in. And the next time she'll fuss for X+Y minutes to get you to cave again.

Good Luck.

S.

The book the "Sleep Lady" book really helped me to get my daughter to sleep through the night. http://www.sleeplady.com/ The book is broken down into sections based on your child's age, they all use the same basic technique but at each age you'll run into different problems that the book talks you through. The technique is a version of cry-it-out, but the book gives you some guides so you do it in as gentle a fashion as you can, so your child doesn't feel abandoned, and so you don't feel like you're abandoning them. I highly recommend it.

Talk to your doctor about your daughter holding her breath. My cousin's son did the same thing. He learned that if he held his breath, he'd get whatever he wanted. But once his mom let him hold his breath until he passed out a few times (at which point he automatically started breathing again) and didn't give into his attention-getting scheme, he realized it wasn't getting him anywhere, and he stopped. As soon as he started holding his breath (and she was sure he wasn't choking on something) she'd quietly and gently lay him down so he wouldn't have a risk of falling, he's pass out, breath on his own, and wake up.

Definitely talk to your doc about the passing out thing, as breathing is a pretty vital function :)

sorry but you have to stop nursing and let her cry it out I had one tht would hold his breath until he passed out and he is fine. they get back up.
T.

My son is 25 mos & still doesn't sleep through the night most of the time either! You're not alone!

Have you ever thought about trying to just co-sleep? At least this way, when she wants to wake & nurse, you can sleep through it while still meeting her needs. She may very well be "high need" (www.AskDrSears.com) which would just be her temperment.

Hang in there! Just keep in mind that you're never going to have to/get to do this again. Even though it is VERY hard right now, there WILL be a day when you sleep all night again!

This is probably 80 percent routine and comfort nursing, but you can improve this if you feed her more during the day all day long. Honestly, I know you think she eats enough, but she literally will not wake up at night if her belly is all the way full. Then soothing herself to sleep-aka crying it out, is much easier, because she has no hunger in the equation. It will still take some adjustment at this age to break the habit, and you will have crying fro a few days, possibly a week, but it can be done.
First,add a few feedings into her day, and don't stop feeding her unless she signals she won't eat. Don't rely on your routine or wait for her to "seem" hungry. If you offer food and she eats, she's hungry. She won't overeat, don't worry, if' she's full, she won't eat. Just feeding her more right before bed is not enough, it must be all day long.

Then, after at three days of this, start you night regime. Go cold turkey, or comfort herr once or twice without nursing at first. You can spy on her to make sure she breaths, but don't give in to her crying. You said yourself you created the habit, but it's not the end of the world, it's just harder to break. She needs to feel secure and get good night sleeps, and so do you! Be strong! Good luck!

Go at it slowly and easily -- try rocking without nursing -- or try standing up, holding her on your shoulder and bouncing enough to relax her again. You can sing to her or talk to her quietly, tell her silly stories, tell her anything you can think of . . . . just keep your voice quiet and calming until she drops off. Then put her back in bed.

Or, if she is out of a crib, you can simply crawl into bed with her and calm her there -- that way she gets used to staying in her own bed rather than getting up.

What matters the most to her is the comfort and the closeness. Probably the food factor is negligible at this point. And once you are not nursing her at night, maybe her dad if you are married, can take turns putting her back to sleep ?

Good luck. Even if nothing works, this won't last forever. There will come that time when she gets on the big yellow bus, and you cry, remembering her baby days . . .

my son was like her - I actually think when I made him quit nursing he slept better. I had to wear a sports bra and keep my pajamas tucked in, but it seems when they are not waking up looking to nurse they sleep through the night. Try weaning - I bet in a month or so you'll notice a difference. Good Luck

I nursed my two daughters, one until she was 30 months old and the other to 23 months. I found that neither one ever slept through the night until they weaned. It took my husbands help to wean them but as soon as they did they 'magically' slept through the night and both are good sleepers today.

Personally I would not make her cry it out. I would just know that this will pass with weaning.

Hi R.,

Call your local La Leche League Consultant at

www.llli.org

Hope this helps. D.

I still say let her cry it out. You are right, she is getting up out of habit & it is much easier and more comfortable for you to get her back to sleep than it is to self soothe. My 22 month old would be doing the same thing if I hadn't put my foot down around 16 months. The longer it goes on the harder it is though. You want to get rid of this habit before she goes into a bed! I know what you're going through and it's so tough.

Can you try having your husband comfort her at night? Sounds like a habit and maybe a third person could help break it.