Hi, I'm at my wits end. About 3 weeks ago we moved my just-turned 2 yr old son into a regular bed b/c he was crawling out of his crib constantly (some nights I lost count after the 25th time -- no lie!). We now have the problem of him crawling out of his bed constantly. Everything I've read has indicated that the novelty of "roaming" should wear off within a few days. It's been a few weeks now though and he's still at it.
For the most part the roaming happens for the first 1-1/2 hrs after I put him to bed, but there have been several nights where he wakes up in the middle of the night and crawls into our bed. On these nights, it doesn't seem to matter how many times I put him back in bed, he still crawls back into our room.
In the last 1-2 weeks, I've tried to limit what he can get into in his bedroom and have remove all toys (except the stuffies he sleeps with) and most electrical items (his favorite toys --which is another problem entirely). Two nights ago I finally removed the last two remaining electrical items... his nightlight and monitor b/c he has been unplugging/plugging them into other sockets in his room (he's figured out how to get the safety plugs out). I've also tried limiting where he can roam by closing all the doors to the upstairs bedrooms and bathroom...and putting a gate at the top of the stairs. This limits him to roaming in his room and the hallway, but then last night I found him using the stool he uses to get into bed as a way to get over the gate at the top of the stairs. My husband and I have considered buying a safety door handle to prevent him from leaving his room, but we've both watched him get right past those devices at his daycare (so figure it's a waste of money). What else can I do?? Lock him in?? Any advice I can get on how to keep him in his bed would be much appreciated!! Thanks!
Supernanny's going to bed technique worked great with my 2 1/2 year-old. It only took 2 nights and he has never roamed in the night again. If you don't watch her shows, she has a book that explains exactly how to do it.
I love Michelle H's comment. It's OK to meet his needs if he is feeling unsettled and needs extra comfort and cuddling. He is still a baby, really. And he is your child, not a prisoner of war, so it's OK to let him be with you if that helps you all sleep.
You sound tired--I am sorry. It's hard to take care of business when you're exhausted.
Children are resilient and whatever gets you through this stage gently, respectfully and well-rested is the right answer for your family. Just because you let him sleep with you or even just near you for awhile doesn't mean he'll still be with you when it's time for kindergarten or junior high. ;)
I am impressed that he knows to turn to the people he loves most, not things, for comfort and reassurance. That is so healthy and a real credit to your responsive, intuitive mothering. That attitude will serve him well for his whole life--so many folks have "people before things" mixed up.
When my children were making the transition to their own rooms (at nearly age 3) they really enjoyed stories on CDs. I could say "stay in bed and listen to the Curious George story" or whatever and then put it on repeat so it would lull them to sleep. They still love audio books and you can get lots at the library.
Best wishes!
Could it be that he is feeling insecure about something, and just needs to sleep with you for a little bit? Would that be so bad? My 3 yo is struggling right now, and we made a bed for her with a crib mattress beside our bed. Would something like that work?
With my first daughter we did just that. I swapped out the door that locked on the inside so that it locked outside. It was exactly what we needed but if you want to try putting a baby gate on the inside of his door then that might be a possible option. The lock worked best for us and she is now our best sleeper.
Good luck
Put him in bed. Remove his stool from the room and put a safety gate by his door or close the door. Put a door knob cover on the doorknob or reverse the lock..
AFter I tuck my 3 year old in I tell her I will leave the door open unless she comes out. If she comes out I put her back in bed and close the door. If she comes out again I lock the door so she can't open it. I know her room is safe so I don't worry too much. After she falls asleep I do open the door so if she needs us during the night she can get out. If the wandering is a problem in the middle of the night leave the safety gate up next to his door, and put a monitor in the hallway so you will be able to hear him, if he isn't crying and is just in his room. Leave him alone. If he was upset, I would go comfort him and tuck him back in.
Anyway Good Luck I know it is hard my older son had sleep issues and still wants to follow me around the house until every last person is in bed before he will go to sleep.
Hopefully you will find what works for you.
Lock him in! Our two year old has been doing the same thing. I felt bad shutting the door on him all night, so we put a gate across his doorway. He'd still get up a time or three to "visit" with us during the night (our bedrooms are on opposite sides of the living room), but he'd usually listen when we told him to go back to bed. Then he started sleeping on the floor by the gate. Then he learned how to open the gate... We've closed his door the past three nights. We went to comfort him once the first night. The second night, he called for us, but listened when we told him to go back to bed. Last night, he didn't wake at all. He was sound asleep in bed with his covers on this morning! Progress! I should have listened to my friend who told me to just close his door weeks ago (it worked with her son), but as first I felt bad "locking him in." I think it's what he needed, though. He's realizing that if he can't leave his room to roam, there's no reason to get out of bed. He's been so much happier and much more pleasant to be around the past few days after actually getting good sleep. When everyone is able to sleep through the night, the whole family is happier!! Plus, I know that once he gets used to staying in bed, we can keep his door open at night--he won't have to stay locked in forever!
He sounds like he is having fun:)
My sister in law got a crib tent (i don't know if they make one for beds) and it saved her sanity! She has an extremely rambunctious little boy (he was crawling by five months) and never stops moving. They finally got the tent and have loved it. He is now older and can sleep on his own but they used it all the time when he was two.
We also talked to our son about it. If it's dark, he has to stay in bed. If it's light, he can get up and find us.
But that was my first son. My second didn't care too much about that.
Someone on Mommasource suggested putting the baby gate not on the stairs, but on his door. And it sounds like you'll have to remove the stool from his room, too. That might even help him think twice about getting out of bed, if he knows that he can't get in it again! He may end up sleeping on the floor a few times, but that's nothing to worry about.
We just took the gate off his door when he was a few months past his 3rd birthday. He'd asked many times to take his "fence" off, but I postponed that by saying that his fence would come down when he always went pee-pee in the potty, so he'd need the fence down so he could go to the bathroom. We ended up not sticking it out quite that long, but by then he was old enough that I could explain that if he came out of his room, I'd put the fence back up (and I left it by his door so he had a reminder). He mostly stayed in bed on his own after that.
My son is very tall for his age (97%+) so he could just about put his leg over the gate. I started putting it in with a few inch gap above the floor to make it taller.
Good luck! He'll get it!
My four year old has been doing this.. Your right that it is very frustrating. But i do believe in consistancy. Try cutting back on his naps and wake him up earlier. He just might not be tired enough to ____@____.com for every night he does stay in his room you might reward him. I would lay my kids down with a movie and usually before the movie ended they were fast asleep. But with my boys i had to turn the volume down really low so they could concentrate hard to hear the movie and ultumatly fall asleep. If it gets to the point of safety you could always put a screen door on his room so you could secure & lock him in and see him as well.
I also have a bean bag. It's a portable bed that i used for when the kids are sick they could sleep in my roon and feel safer. They loved it and it is kind of a treat. But then he could be getting into a bad habbit of it too. Motherhood is trial and error and you r not alone at all. Try putting the baby gate on his bedroom and remove the bench. You could get a couple gates and put them all the way up his door. Good luck and god bless
I'm wondering if he gets enough exercise and outside time during the day--I have a son and they really need to be exhausted to sleep well. Good luck!
Our kids always have story time with flashlights in our bed and then we move them before we go to bed. Sometimes we fall asleep with them and sometimes our 2 year old stays and we move him when he starts kicking us. We usually have to lay down with the 2 year old or let him sit in dad's lap, and sometimes it's worth the trouble to take him for a drive. I think at this age it's harder than it's worth to get very strict, but you can still do bedtime. If he must stay in your room, you might try the spot on the floor.
He is only two and remember at this age he is having a HUGE cognitive developmental change and he needs you because it is scary and weird and his brain won't really let him sleep, they also still have growth spurts so it could be that he is hungry. Why don't you make a little pallet for him in your room so that he can go lie down on that instead of waking you up when crawling in bed with you. This also might me a good time to get him a lovey or favorite stuffy to hold and not feel so scared. Remember this will happen again at 3 because the nightmares start then. Good luck.
Have you talked to him about staying in bed and why he needs to stay in bed? I know that I underestimated how much my 2 year old boy understood and we had similar problems -- I worried that he would leave the house at night because he had figured out how to unlock the doors going outside. The actions you describe are typical 2 year old actions: testing the boundaries, becoming independant, making his own choices. My suggestion would be to talk with your son about it and see why he doesn't want to go to bed. Is he ready to have a shorter nap? Are you putting him to bed too early (or too late)? What would he like to go to sleep? Instead of taking everything away (because no matter what you take away he sounds like a creative kid who will turn whatever is left into something to keep him awake). When I talked with my son (and this was a lot of little conversations over time) he was just lonely in his room and didn't feel like he was sleepy. We came up with some ground rules: he didn't have to go to sleep, but he did have to stay in his bed and lay quietly. In return, if he did those things, we would leave the door to his room open so he could hear what his dad and I were doing in the family room. It wasn't a miracle, but by 3 he was going to sleep on his own and sleeping through the night EVERY night (except for occasional nightmares). Good luck to you!
Hi L., I would say if you don't need the crib for another child that you put him back in the crib. I know every child is different, but when my son was two there was no way he was mature enough to handle that. They sell crib tents that can go on top of the crib so that the kiddo can not climb out. I have never used on, but my friend has and her son is 3 years, 5 months and he doesn't want to give it up!! Though it did scare him the first night.
As a child I used to jump out of my crib and I can tell you from my parents stories, I did some very dangerous things. My parents thought everything was proofed, but I still managed to get into trouble. One night I threw a toy at a picture frame and broke glass all over and then stepped in it and cut up my feet. I just don't think it is worth it.
I hope this helps.
