2 Year Old Won't Go to Bed! HELP

My tot does this every few months where she becomes a bedtime banshee.

Two year olds are testing their limits, and their boundaries. You need to show who is the boss and what she can and cannot do. You can let some things slide, like we all do, but bedtime needs to be handled in a very consistent and firm manner.

As of note: She still is in her crib, so doesn't have a bed. However, I DO agree with Supernanny's methods, and plan to do that when she goes to a toddler bed.

What works for us is we firmly tell her goodnight and shut the door. She squeals and cries and begs for one more Elmo song, one more glass of juice, etc, but we just say "no, it's night-night time." Period.

She will squeal for us to come back, cry, show us her saddest face, but after we leave, she realizes that her little charade for attention is not going to work. It's hard for us to hear her pleading, but we know as parents it's what's best for her. And each evening becomes easier and easier as long as we are firm and consistent.

Then bedtime becomes easy again, going to sleep peacefuly for 12-14 hrs at night...until she tests her limits again a few months later.

good luck!

A.,
Our older son is almost 3 and is a very active little guy. He keeps us on our toes all the time. We changed him to a toddler bed and after a perfect first night - the fun began. We did the whole bedtime routine...whatever it is. I gave him hugs and kisses and told him to stay in bed. He would get out as soon as we shut the door. So, DH and I took turns peeking in the room with the door cracked open and as SOON as his feet hit the floor, we went in, picked him up and put him in bed. We didn't say a word. This went on for about 45 minutes the first night, but in less than a week it was fine.

That was six months ago (maybe) and he's pretty good at going to bed. Sure, he tries. Sure he wants one more back scratch or one more kiss. And, I will give him ONE MORE. That's it. Some nights he will cry for me and then thinks it's a game when I come in. He's all sweet and "Hiiii Mama." But, I tell him, "it's time for bed" and I leave. Now, he's started to wait to go #2 and will go in his diaper so we have to change him. THEN, he'll go to sleep. Argh.

It's all a battle of wills and we (as parents) have to be the ones to win. We have found consistency to be the most successful in our house. I really think that if you don't give up and keep putting her back in bed, she will realize that she won't win. The same for nap time. You can't really make her sleep, but you can tell her she needs to stay in bed for resting time (as others have mentioned).

Someone else mentioned Super Nanny...I LOVE that show and swear by her techniques (most of them).

Good luck to you.

Be persistant and consistant. If she crys let her cry... if she gets up pick a consistant action to put her back in bed.

Maybe try spending 10 mintues with her, then letting her spend 10 minutes alone with a book by herself. Tell her you will be back to turn the light off and she will need to stay in bed.

As for Naps tell her this is rest time, you do not have to sleep, but you do need to lay quietly.

Quit giving in to her every whim (the drinks, the last trip to the bathroom, the last story, the last hug, the one more kiss, the milk, etc.). Attending to these requests is only reinforcing her belief that "if she asks for it, you will come". Attention is attention, so it doesn't matter if you are positive and happy or negative and annoyed; she's still getting a reaction out of you.

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, particularly the chapters that are appropriate for a 2 year old. Be consistent with the techniques and routines, and start her on the path to healthy sleep. Not only will you have a more peaceful evening, you will probably see a change in your child when she is awake (happier, healthier, less cranky).

I'm struggling with the same issue but I wanted to give you hope because things are starting to get better. I'm struggling to get my 3 year old to sleep in his own bed. I've been working on being consistent- warning that its almost time for bed, our routine is bathtime, 2 stories, say our prayers, lay it down but he is always thinking of excuses to get up or I will wake up in the middle of the night to find him playing or trying to cut the tv on!

As tiring as it is becuase I'm 8 months pregnant I keep putting him back to bed immediately and he's stubborn but he goes to bed. I consider it an accomplishment that he does sleep in his own bed each night so my next goal is to get him to stay in the bed without all the up and down before the baby is born! I also read some of the other advice on this site. Hope that helps

mom of two soon to be three ;-)who works FT outside home

Hi A.,

I just wanted to let you know that it does get easier and you will thank yourselves in the longrun for standing firm with her now. I went through the same thing with both of my children (now 3 and almost 5) at around 18 months when I transitioned them to toddler beds. Now they go to bed at 8:30 and are asleep by 8:35!

If you have ever watched Supernanny, you may have seen her "back to bed" technique. It works wonders. Give her a warm goodnight the first time, just tell her goodnight the second time, and after that just keep putting her back in bed without saying a word. It may take a little while, but each battle will get shorter and shorter.

As for naps, I agree with the previous poster about rest time. The fights for nap time with my youngest was just more hectic than it was worth it, so I told him he had to just lay in his bed and rest. Sometimes, he would actually even fall asleep.

Just be consistent and in the end, it will all work out for the best. Good luck! =0)

Don't be so hard on yourself. She's two, it's her job to drive you crazy. My second little monkey likes to get up and go to the bathroom a few times before she settles in for the night. So what I have done is I put her to bed earlier. We get ready for bed at seven and read our books and then it is lights out at seven thirty during(sometimes earlier if the kids are driving me nuts!). When she does get up, which has been getting less and less, I just help go potty and walk her right back to bed. She's usually asleep a little after eight.

What about putting a night light on and some music. I put my 2yr old to sleep with classic rock music.

I don't really have any advice but I'm totally in the same boat as you. My daughter has always been a difficult sleeper but the last few weeks have been awful. I keep telling myself it's a phase and I'll be able to reclaim my evenings back soon. It's the only time I have to spend with my new baby by ourselves. She wants to switch beds a lot, one more book, etc. But it accompanies hysterics, not just a little whining. I look forward to reading your other responses. Good luck.