2 Y/o Yells and Screams for Hours Every Day

Updated on February 23, 2009
M.H. asks from Minneapolis, MN
11 answers

My child yells for hours every day, and it is almost unbearable. He is two and a half and we are about to start receiving special ed for him for emotional/behavioral issues. He refuses to eat solid food, and is on a liquid diet. There is no medical reason for this, he just won't eat. He has terribly disturbed sleep as well, which seems to improve as he gets older. He does not change his behavior when he gets time-outs, positive or negative feedback, basically the "normal" parenting techniques that have worked on our older two sons. Hours and hours of this yelling is driving my older two children away and our baby has a very hard time napping (this yelling penetrates our walls, and we have a decent sized house). I beg anyone who has had similar issues to tell me what worked for them.

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A.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would certainly have him evaluated by a specialist. You may also want to check for food allergies or reactions. My son acts that way if he eats something with red dye. I know it sounds crazy, but just a few jellybeans will set him off. It is possible that something your son is eating/drinking could be causing this behavior. I also recommend the melatonin for sleep. A friend of mine who has a son with autism also uses it, and it has been very effective.

What is your son drinking on this liquid diet? Is it sugary juice, or is he drinking something with more substance? Again, too much sugar can cause reactions in kids. (even natural sugar in juice - and something like koolaide with dyes could be especially bad.) I would cut out all high-fructose corn syrup and dyes for now until you find out what the problem is.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi M.,
My son was just like this. He was my first child so I didn’t know any better. He was a hard baby, he cried all the time. By the age of 2 his crying went to yelling/screaming to sometimes rage. I couldn’t believe that a child this little could get the best of me. He is now 8 yrs old. He was diagnosed with Aspergers it is on the autism spectrum. He is extremely smart. He still melts down and has a hard time with change, he has sensory issues. Things that I didn’t relies set him off were sound that florescent lights make (I still don’t hear them) He likes his socks inside out. At school things like the sound of pencils tapping or keyboard clicking. I can tell you that it has gotten better partly because he is easier to reason with at 8 yrs old. I would never go back to ages 2, 3 and 4 because it was so hard. But I also won’t trade what he has thought us or what I’ve learned in those years. Once they figure out what is going on it will start getting better. Be careful though we had our son evaluate at school at 3 and the told us he was fine. But a mother knows. So stick to it until you get the answers and help you both need. If you don’t like or agree with what they say look for someone else that could help. If you ever need help feel free to contact me. I know how hard the yelling can be but you have to try your best to stay calm and keep your voice calm. My son will get more worked up if we do. Trust me there are days were this advice is impossible. LOL My husband and I sometimes have to tag team. Check out all your options, I saw a lot of great advice from others that wrote to you. I hope for the best for you and your family.
K.

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R.N.

answers from St. Cloud on

It sounds as if your 2 year old has some severe sensory issues. It is very hard to sleep if you don't eat well. Has he been evaluated for autism? That is where I would start, then I would work with the sleeping and eating issues.

I have an autistic child and I know how many parenting books I went through while trying to figure him out.

Good luck.

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N.

answers from Minneapolis on

You said there is no medical reason for this. Just wanted to be sure you had his ears checked. I'm sure you did but my daughter used to stop eating solid food and get very irritable when she had ear problems.

I hope you find a solution so you and your son find some peace.

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T.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

i too had a yeller, his speach teacher said use a little water in the face , so we did and it worked, it look a few weeks but he got the idea that yelling was right, take a small glass of cold water and throw it in his face when he starts screaming. TdH mother of four

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

You could try the ideas from the book "Raising Your Spirited Child". Or see if that fits your son's description. It gives some brief descriptions too of the differences between spirited children and autitic and ADHD kids. My son is only "spunky" so my tricks for him aren't as good as what you might need.

Good luck in finding what works.

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

Can you give us a little more information. What set off his yelling fits? I have a son with behavioral issues that started very young and before I answer your question a little bit more information would be help full. If your house is chaotic that could be an issue. A regular schedule and routine may make him feel more secure and settle down some. The one thing you must demand is obdedience and find the one trigger that will get his attention. I know that most parents now days do not believe in spanking but if a swift pat on the butt gets his attention it doesn't hurt them. As far as the eating goes, a child will eat if they are hungry enough, you have allowed him to get away with only liquids. Meal times serve him solid foods and if he doesn't want them let him walk away.. before long he will eat because he is hungry. Sounds like you have a power issue going on and as his parent it is up to you to make the rules. It may be rough going for a few days but in the long run you will have a happier little boy and much happier family. Now if you have had him tested for Autism then professional help is what is needed as I have no experience with that issue.

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K.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

I had this problem with my second child. He would scream until he threw up! We lived in a duplex in a neighborhood with close homes and the screams could be heard next door and upstairs. Fortunately, the screams would sometimes happen at times when one of us would be outside, or the neighbor was over, so the neighbors knew the boy was not being abused.

I asked my pediatrician, a man with children of his own how to handle the toddler, since none of the traditional methods were effective. His answer was amazing simple and even more amazingly effective. I have given the advice out many times.

The doctor said that the child forgets why he is screaming and is unable to stop unless shocked out of it.
Simply warn the child that the next time he decides to scream that he will get an ice cold glass of water tossed in his face. Then follow through! It is messy, but water doesn't hurt anything and is cleaned up quickly.

I did this and my son gasped and shut up!

The second time he started screaming, I got the water and doused him quickly. He was quiet.

The third time, he saw the glass of water and was quiet. There were no more temper tantrums.

It may seem cruel, but what is more cruel--to let a child cry himself into a tortuous fit of exhaustion time after time or to end it quickly? This turned out to be a loving option that has benefited all of us.

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P.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have you had him evaluated for Autism? The Fraser Institute on University is really good. I have two children with the diagnosis and regular parenting techniques do not work with the either. I'm not sure if your son is delayed in his speech too but often times, these types of behavior are a means of communicating. Once I understood that things in the environment that I hardly noticed, actually hurt my kids because of their sensitivities to smells, tastes, and textures.

I learned what was making my kids act out and I have adapted their environment to avoid those things. They have also been in speech, occupational, and physical therapies. Helping them both learn how to communicate their needs also helped immensely. A lot of their negative behaviors were because of their own frustrations and pain.

The therapy will help, but look for parent support groups too. It helps to have other parents to talk to about your frustration and exhaustion.

As for the eating, my 3.5 year old gets the bulk of his nutrition from liquids too. I don't care. As long as he is growing and will still eat some foods, I'm not going to sweat it. I have a friend who's son has a feeding tube he's so adverse to eating.

I also give my children melatonin to help with the sleeping. 20 minutes before bed and they are going to sleep on their own. I still get up a couple of times a night with one of them, but at least it isn't every 2 hours.

Hang in there. It may not get better immediately, but it will.

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L.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Is there a possibility that he is autistic? If that's what it is diagnosing it before the age of 3 is huge and he would get a lot of help leading him in the right direction. Do not give up in finding some answers. Good luck and God Bless your family.

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M.I.

answers from Duluth on

hmm. i wonder if he has a sensory processing disorder?? things would bother him, like clothing, noises, etc etc?

i dont know. i will pray for you. have patience, and know that it doesnt sound like there is anything you are doing wrong. love, patience and prayer can help in all circumstances, even if it doesnt solve the problem, maybe it can help you deal with it.

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