16Yr Old Acting Up. Normal or Not???

i'm always taken aback when people assume that all teenagers are nasty, dishonest and disrespectful. that hasn't been my experience at all.
don't assume this is normal. meet with the counselors, look at causes and consequences, talk to him, and more importantly, listen to him.
i wish i had an answer for you, mama, but don't give up!
khairete
S.

What does he have to say about his behavior? That is the question.
ask him point blank, why are you lying about attending school?

Get approval... Start attending school with him. You drive him, walk in with him. . Go to all of his classes. Sit through them. Sit with him at lunch..

Do this every day. Let him know that if necessary you will continue to do this, until he can prove he will go on his own.

Is there an alternative school for him to attend?

here in Austin, oncce a student has so mnay hours, they are allowed to attend the alternative high school. They study at their own pace. They will not have to take all of the extras like in regular high school. They go on their own schedules.. many finish up and are able to graduate early. This allows them to either start college earlier or get jobs..

Could be your child is just done with the whole school thing.. He just needs to complete the studies and move on..

When we were younger, my dad used to take my cousins to work construction with him. He would wear their little sorry butts out.

My husband's dad made my husband choose between school and military. My husband went in the military for 4 years and received some great lessons.

With my older daughter, she has to figure things out for herself, to this day. I can tell her some things, but most things she has to figure out on her own. When she was in 6th grade, I caught her in the midst of running away. I told her to pack her bags and get in the car. She did but wanted to know where we were going. I told her if she wanted to run away I would take her. It was late and I took her to a school and asked her to get out. She refused. I got out and opened her door and she pleaded to let her stay. I brought her back and then we had our talk.

Everyone is different, you just have to find the right cure for him.

Where is he and what is he doing when he skips??? Is it with other friends?? Do you suspect drugs? When I skipped school in HS it was with other friends to go smoke pot!!!

Laurie's right, J.. Other mothers have done the same thing. It is SO embarrassing to a high schooler for their mother to come to school with them every day.

Until you have respectful behavior and homework being done, just keep doing it. When he screams to high heaven, tell him that either he goes to school like he's supposed to, or you will be a fixture there. Either that, or he has to go to alternative school. He really won't like that...

Dawn

I agree that you need to have the meeting and you need to find out why he's lying (to everybody) and what he's doing when he's not in class. My nephew got caught with pot during the school day, just off school grounds. He'd been dropped off by his mother but slipped out of the building later. I'm glad you are not just brushing it off.

J., you cannot compartmentalize your life....Your teen son is acting out. Simple as that.

You have relationship problems with your boyfriend.
You have a very young baby with your boyfriend, who is not sleeping and climbing into everything and needs a lot of your time.

I imagine your teen feels left out and last on the list. Believe me, it is not ADHD. I have ADHD and did fine in school. His emotional needs are probably last.

My advice: pick up the books Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. And have him start reading "Breaking Night" by Liz Murray. He needs to take responsibility for his poor choices.

IMHO, if he's lying to his friends, he's trying to fit in. Are you a very strict parent? Does he get to go out with friends? Do you allow him any privacy?

My aunt and uncle were extremely strict parents. Cousins NEVER got to go out with friends; couldn't even close their bedroom door if they had company. Aunt thought their whole world should be open to her inspection.

As a result, the boys lied all the time to friends to try to make themselves sound cool and fit in. The boys also cut classes and were disrespectful at school to gain the attention of their peers.

Don't know if this is what's happening with your son, but just something to think about. I agree that a meeting with the teachers is not going to get you anywhere; this is a social issue not an academic one.

Does he drive? If so, take away the privledge until he straightens out. If not, inform him that you will delay the learner's permit. Sure teens rebel and that's normal, but you don't what to let it get so far out of hand that it leads to more serious problems.

Have you brought up any of these changes to your son's Dr? I am hoping you have a steady pediatrician that has a history with your family/son that might have some ideas for what could be going on as well... it could be hormonal imbalances. My friend's nephew had to have hormone shots for a while because he was so far out of whack during certain points of puberty that he became irratic and very difficult to deal with. So, I guess my contribution to the matter is to get the doctor involved as well as the school.