13 Yo Son 1St Time Girlfriend

I hope you are talking about more than kissing, I know a ton of people (myself included) who were sexually active at 13 and 14 years old. I certainly would never have told my parents, but some education would have been nice.

.

Keep talking with him and more importantly listening to him. (I hope he's already educated on sex and everything surrounding sex.) It is possible to keep the communciation open. It's not possible to stop anything from happening. Attempting to prevent will have them taking it all underground, and you don't want that. (And "anything past kissing" is ALL he's thinking about at 13 and that is perfectly normal! It doesn't mean he will act on it.)

Set some general rules, and invite her over. Meet her parents. Keep this all above board and normal.

And yes, the breakup could be hard, and it won't be the last.

Enjoy this time of your son's life. It is challenging but amazing to watch kids grow through their teen years!

Not old enough to date, or to go on walks alone with. I know too many pregnant 13 yr olds! For us, the rule was group dating until the age of 18, and single dating at 18. Before the age of 16, we were only allowed at each other's houses to hang out with adult supervision. And no kids of the opposite sex were ever allowed in our bedrooms! But we had fun family time together with our 'dates'.

Kissing is okay... but what kind of kissing? Laying down on a couch on top of each other and kissing... or just a small closed mouth kiss? You need to be graphic and explain how one thing can lead to another... heavy petting, hickies, groping each other, sexting, oral.. then to sex.

Aaaw!

Make it a family thing. Have her at your house often, for dinner to hang. Ask her things, not like a drill, but just to show interest.

I believe that when a teen's FAMILY is involved in their relationships, the teens make better decisions, and are kinder to each other. Least that seems to be working for me.

Make sure he knows how to treat that girl right. To completely RESPECT her choices, you know? Respect himself, his body, her body, etc.

I've used humor in these conversations with my three teenagers. But it's a part of them a parent needs to be involved in, just like their grades and other activities.

I disagree with those who say he's not old enough to 'date' ( to have a GF). If he were not old enough, he would have no interest in girls. I think it's a teaching opportunity, like any other. So far, it has worked for us.

I've developed a relationship with each of my kids SOs,( there's not very many of them, they seem to be masters of long term relationships already) I text and communicate with their parents as well.

If they understand the 'rules', it can be just the nicest thing!

:)

My son is 13 and he knows he is not allowed to date till he's 16.
It's ok to have friends - in groups, but way too soon for one on one dating/walks.
I use to go on walks with a boy who was a few years older than me while walking his dog.
'Walking the dog' took on a whole new meaning.
Sometimes parents are clueless.
He needs after school sports/activities which keep him busy in groups and in public places.

So sweet! And good for you for keeping an open communication with him. Be very careful that no one makes fun of him. Try to keep what the two of you share between him and yourself. He is going to be very protective of what he shares.

Be sure to invite her over for dinner and board games or video games. This way you can get to know her. Maybe even invite her to Church if you all attend services.

Be prepared when things fizzle out.. He will be heartbroken. The first love is always special.

FYI, Do not freak out..

I met my husband when we were 13.. We have now been married for 30 years. Our first kiss was not until we were 14 and freshmen in high school. and it was just a peck.. We mostly just held hands and talked over the phone.

We would go to the movies or spend time at each others homes. with each others families..

I suggest you meet Ambers mom or dad. You would be surprised at how many girls claim to be older than they are even at 9 and 10.

Does he know about the birds and the bees?
Its time.

Now, teen impulses and hormones and emotions, cannot always be planned or stopped or controlled.
But they can be educated.

When I was a kid in middle school... boy and girl couples, would make-out and grope each other, and heavy petting. If out in mixed groups with friends, the couples would separate and go off on their own, (to go behind buildings/in cars/dark places) then come back to the group before their parents were going to pick them up. The parents did not know. The other kids did. Just as an FYI.

Keep open communications with him.
Let him be your place to come to for anything.
Let him talk, don't judge, but guide.

By this age, girls have their periods.
So, something to think about.
They can, get pregnant.

The October 2011 issue of the National Geographic magazine, is all about the Teenage Brain. I suggest you get it.
It is all about their brain/cognitive/emotional development.

Kids this age don't even know what a girlfriend is. Like an adult would.

Now, if I were the girlfriend's Parent... I would be REAL concerned.
You best make friends/know them.
I would NOT, let a boy, determine what my daughter is doing or not, with him. I would be, very.... protective. I have, a daughter. And a son.

Does the parent's of your son's Girlfriend, even know... that she has a "Boyfriend?" And do they... approve or let it happen or what is their views on it?

Get some good help with this at http://www.sexrespect.com/.