10 Month Old with an Attitude

At this age it seems that they are constantly trying new things. I would suggest helping the child with whatever they are trying to do. I think the tantrums come from not having any other way to communicate their frustration. This seems to be a very busy age and patience is one of the best things you can have. Hope this helps.
L. mother of a 6 yr old girl, 4 yr old boy and 17 month old boy.

At this young age, you should just calmly and quietly change her diaper. Don't make a fuss if she fights you, just hold her legs and get it done. She will soon learn that her protesting is not doing any good and she will have to get through the diaper change.

Totally normal! Giving my son a toy or book to look at helps a lot, but if nothing else works, I just strap him down when he won't cooperate. There's really not much you can do to disipline a 10 month old other than redirectingher attention to something else.

I don't think there is alot you can do at 10 months. You just really can't reason with a baby. She isn't built with coping skills, she develops them. The best thing you can do is just let her squeal. Ignore her and keep doing what you are doing even when it doesn't go her way. One of the best things I heard someone say to a child was, "I hear your "no" but we have to change you and wash your hands." The she changed the little guy and washed his hands and didn't acknowledge the fit any more. It seemed like a response that was firm, but compassionate. It allowed the child to feel what he felt, but let him know the world wasn't going to stop at his "no." When she is older and has words for expression you can teach her to use them, but for now ignoring it and trudging right on through seems to me to be your only alternative.

Hi A.,

I see you got all kinds of suggestions, from her not understanding reasoning to slapping her leg... mmmm...
Funny how people raise their children differently.

For starters, I have NEVER agreed with hitting or slapping a child, besides the fact that I don't believe in corporal punishment, I also know it will get them to think hitting is okay, you or others since they don't know the difference at 9 months.

What I did with my daughter is I was "forceful" I know a lot of moms that are ran by their kids completely.
They can't even get them to change a diaper. I think firmness is fine, saying relax, we're changing a diaper, or be calm, we're doing this and there is no "compromise" Like sitting at a high chair to eat.

Just stick to your guns, they're still babies. Expressing anger or frustration is normal and I never found it necessary to tell my kids not to, I just say, I know you're upset but this is how we do things. Or you'll be okay honey..

Also, the fits will get worse before they get better, trust me, IGNORE THEM, if she's not hurting herself or others... she's crying or throwing a fit, do your research, most Dr's will advice that the best way to stop the behavior is to tlet them throw their fit and then enforce the rule or the action regardless. My daughter's fits are minimal and I see that the more my friends react or "tend to the child" when they throw fits, the worse it gets as they get older, much worse...

My daughter did this too. I think it's a stage. As many people mentioned, we used a toy at diaper changes, till that didn't work anymore. I would place my hands on her arms and legs and say "no kick!" It seemed to work. If she was being especially difficult, I'd use the strap that is attached to our changing table. She HATES that strap! It only took a few days of strapping her on before she started to lay still for diaper changes. Singing during the diaper change always seems to help too. Your dd is old enough to understand whay "no" means. Personally, I don't think time outs work this young, but others disagree. I don't like the idea of swatting their hand everytime you tell them no. We always explained to my dd why she can't touch certain things. She's really really good about leaving "no no's" alone.

I'm sorry, but my first reaction to this post was "is this a joke?". A 10 month old does not have an 'attitude'. Squealing and crying are the only ways she has to let you know she needs something. Babies don't ask for things they don't need. She is not having a tantrum -- tantrums are when kids cry and scream and kick becuase they don't get their way or get a toy they want. As for diaper changes, she's recently mobile and who wants to lay on their back when there's a big world to explore. Give her a toy to play with for diaper changes and learn to do them quick. If she's standing, try the Pampers diapers you can just pullup and do diaper changes standing up -- that always made things easier when my kids were young toddlers.

At 9 months, my baby would not sit still for diaper changes. I gave him a toy, an item, anything to distract him and I'd say about 75% of the time it works.

If things don't go her way and she starts screaming, ignore her. By giving attention to the behavior, you only reinforce that behavior. She learns that the screaming and protesting garners your attention and she'll continue to do it. Now is a good time to start teaching 'No', but redirect her attention to another activity. Our baby would bang on our tv which is a big no-no, so we say 'no' in a firm and stern voice and then pick him up and move him to another location in the living room. If you start disciplining her with hitting every time she does something wrong, then she could learn to hit when frustrated.

I believe it is never too early to disipline a child. Trust me, you will know the difference down the road of when to ignore the behavior and when to disipline. Right now is the time to disipline. Set limits and be firm with them. A firm "No" or a gentle tap on the diaper will go a long way.

A. - My daughter is 10 months too and she started this about a month ago. I understand it is frustrating . I have found the best thing for diaper changing is to distract her. I give my little one a toy and pretend like I am kissing it. She thinks this is very funny and will keep holding it out for me to kiss it. I always have the new diaper open and the wipes ready to go. For me it was not worth trying to discipline her during diaper time. But when she throws fits other times I have had to just walk in the other room and let her cry for a bit. Or sit down on the floor next to her instead of picking her up (what she wants). Hope this helps :)

Hi, I thought I would comment... what I did was I just changed the diaper, and if they threw a tantrum.. then they did... and I did not try to waste time to explain to them because they do not understand at this age, and I think it just makes them even more frustrated! I would calmly change their diaper while I quietly talked or sang a song and sometimes that would even get them to calm down because they wanted to hear what mommy was saying! But if not, it was ok because they eventually realized that throwing a fit like that did not get mommy to pay attention! And it was my job to make sure they always had a clean diaper on... It is up to you as the child's parent on choosing to discipline or not. Time- outs have always worked very well for me...but all kids are different and as soon as you think you have something figured out, they will get you with something else!! Good luck!! A.

My 15 month old still kicks and tries to get away when I change his diaper lol. And when your daughter becomes more mobile she will try running away with a nakie bottom as fast as she can! LOL! One thing that helps me is to have a video in that my son loves... his personal fav are the Wiggles dvd's. It keeps his attention and the clean diaper is one before he knows what happened. =)

I am of the opinion that you cannot reason with a 10 month old baby. She does not have the coping skills to understand what you are telling her. People can say discipline but what will work for a baby? Hmmm they are just figuring out how to move at 10 months old so how can they be discilined where they can associate the discipline with her actions. The result could just make the situation worse. Use a firm tone and say no. Or you can give her a toy she can hold or something that will attract her attention when it come times to change her. The bottom line is that the diaper must be changed and convincing her as to why you have to change her isnt going to get you too far. So again give her something she can hold-like a sippy cup, cookie, or toy that will occupy her while the chore is done. I became the fastest diaper changer ever for I too have been there and know your frustration. Good Luck

This is quite normal...10 month olds do not have the language possible to express themselves with. She may be a strong-willed child and this is her way of letting you know that she isn't ready for the next task that mommy has planned. This being said, maybe you could talk her through things so that she is not just spur of the moment put down for a diaper change or whatever the instance may be. As an incentive, since babies at this age like to hold things and explore their surroundings, you could have something ready for her to redirect her attention to and this will curb the tantrum and hopefully stop it before it even begins. My kids always were into my keys, cellphone, and just about anything that made a "crinkly" noise.
Redirect her attention and maybe she with not be throwing as many tantrums. If she does still trow a fit, I think it is best if you just ignore the behavior as best you can, and finish the task at hand. She is still a baby and it is way to early for consequences. Lots of positive communication goes a long was with a baby.

Hehe...sorry, but I just finished telling my brother that I feel like I've been through an aerobic workout after changing my 1 year old. She's mobile and sometimes I chase her to get the diaper strapped, but I remember doing that with my other daughter, too. Thanks for asking, though--the suggestions should help me, too.

It's NEVER too early with that type of behavior!

It's never too early to start teaching them how to behave. I have found that tapping them on the side of the thigh up near the diaper usually startles them & stops this behaviour. I let them know it's not acceptable behaviour & it usually discontinues altogether. I'm a mom to 5 boys, raising 1 niece & a babysitter for about 30 years. I've learned a lot. I've also learned that there are exceptions to just about everything, but a lack of discipline has become the norm for today's kids.Good luck!

I feel it's never too early to start discipline. She will understand "no" when you put it along with something painful. The longer you wait, the harder it will be because she's already figured out it is allowed. Smacking her leg when she's flailing around will let her know that it's not acceptable. It will seem hard at first...like you are constantly on her...but in a few days, she will learn and one day you'll be surprised that when you tell her "no" she understands it!

Talk to her. If she is not talking in sentence fractions by now teach her how to. They say many children get upset and frustrated because they don't know how to communicate. I had read this and made sure my son was speaking full sentences by 15 mths but I know a few other children that would get so upset because they weren't being understood. Maybe put her in preschool, thats where my son has gone since he was 15 mths and at two he is counting, spelling, and starting to read. Good luck it, will get better. S. - mother of 3 (& one on the way)

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=1

go here and read the articles. discipline is not wrong.

OMG - I thought it was just us. All of the sudden one day for diaper changes or whatever, she started throwing herself backwards...almost like she was going to do a back dive. I called her our little daredevil because she seems to be fearless.

She doesn't do this as much anymore, but she still does it when she's having a sort of tantrum. She completely has an attitude...at first it was a little cute (and occasionally it still is)...but it can be very infuriating sometimes. Usually I just grab her and hug her so that she can't flail around and then I try to do something to distract her like tickle her or blow raspberries on her tummy or something. That usually turns the fit around and turns it into a fun interaction.

Now that she's closer to 18 months...the fits are a bit different, but sometimes I just let her stomp it out and sort of ignore it. If that doesn't work, I distract her. Distraction is a good tool…removing her from the situation that started the fit works pretty well.

Perfectly normal. My daughter (11 mos) started flipping and turning on the changing table to the point that I somebody else would have to hold her still while I changed her diaper. At this age kids are starting to have real wants and desires and don't necessarily have the motor skills and communication skills to get what they want. Frustration comes easily. When my daughter gets frustrated and cries or yells I try not to make a big deal about it and say things like "I know it's frustrating isn't it?" , I don't usually pick her up and she calms down in a few seconds. Hope that's helpful.

It is not too early.
Many children this age do not like to lie down because it interferes with their newfound mobility (crawling or walking).
Luckily, at this age we are stronger than they are so we can hold them down until their diaper is changed or whatever.
Don't be afraid to say NO! if she kicks you and hold her legs.

Hello A.:

I am of the firm opinion that you cannot try to discipline a child that is of this age. I have 6 beautiful children that I dearly love and cherish. Do you know that I never minded getting pots and pans out with wooden spoons for them to pound the pans with. It's all in your attitude. You need to be flexible now and understanding and just allow this time to bless you and hold off on the discipline. However, when this precious 10 month old does something that you love, applaud her greatly and let her know how proud that mommy is of her.

Blessings to all,

M.