1 1/2 Yr Old Acting Out After Visits with Father

certainly these are red flags. talk to your pediatrician and think about keeping your daughter's visits supervised while you figure out what's going on.
khairete
S.

Oh.. I so hope this is not what gut feelings are telling you. Please... please have her checked out. This feeling you have is motherly instinct, you know your child. Listen to it! Best of luck to you.

Not normal at all. Stop all visits. She's saying "owie", and, doesn't want you to change her diaper. To me, clear sign something is not right. She is also scared, and, probably afraid you will repeat what happened, so, she is being defensive. I believe your mother's instinct is telling you this is not right, which is why you are on here asking.
Do not feel guilty about anything, (normal mother's reaction), instead, take her to the pediatrician right now to get her evaluated. Explain what she is doing, and, I would get an order that she is not allowed to visit with her father.
Of course, this is worst case scenario. Best case is that she is just not happy and not used to the visits, and, she is just acting out when coming home. She is young to be sooo dramatic, but, it is a possibility.
I hope you figure out what is going on, for the sake of your daughter. :)

Also, do NOT ask him as suggested below, that is the WORST thing you can do if something is going on. Instead, have her evaluated, then, let the LAW handle it if the doctor sees something has happened.

(I get a little defensive when I hear of this type of behavior. My cousin was molested/raped by her own father from the time she was a toddler, so, I am very bad at assuming the worst before hearing the better. I don't mean to scare you, and, sorry if I did, its just very close to my heart.. You can never be too careful with your babies.)

I agree with definatly bringing her to her pediatrician and have her evaluated. It could be her just acting out because she does not know him and is not comfortable in the situation. It may be she was spanked hard or anything. After have the pediatrition look at her, then maybe talk to the father to see if anything happened. How well do you know him? Does he have a girlfried that may have done something or a friend that was around? Who does he live with? He may not have done anything, but maybe someone else did and he didn't know. Did he have anyone watch her while he wasnt there? Its not just him you'd have to wonder about it is anyone else that may be associated with him as well. I guess just talk to to doctor first and go from there. I hope you little girl is ok and you can find out what is causing the odd behaviour.

I don't jump to conclusions. And something sounds SO NOT RIGHT.

Your daughter could be negative toward you because you're ending her great visits with her dad, or because she's being required to make new adjustments, but actual violence toward you sounds like something much more hurtful could be going on. The risks are even greater if her dad is hanging out with a girlfriend or other buddies during the visits.

I'd take her to her pedi right away, and ask him to check her carefully.

TAKE her to the Doctor. DO NOT WAIT.

Next, yes, her random time with her "Dad" is directly affecting her.
At this age, they cannot 'say' what is wrong.. or how they feel... THUS, they act out. That is a baby's only way to "communicate."
THUS, you, the Mom, has to advocate for her... and protect her.

No, its not normal.

take her to the Doctor.
She is not 'happy' nor fine.

What the heck, does Daddy do with his time with her???
What kind of person is he?
Does he have legal visitation with her? Or not?
If not, you do not 'have to' have her go with him.
Do you have full custody?

Something is amiss here... and I would not just let it happen.

I would NOT leave her with Dad, unless you are there too. If he throws a fit about it, then too bad.
Also, what kind of home/environment/friends does he have? Have you actually SEEN where he lives? Is it safe? These are the most basic and necessary things, for YOU to watch out for.

all the best,
Susan

It sounds like something is going on. Sometimes a child going back and forth between parents will affect a child emotionally. She shouldn't be saying owie unless something is going on. She could be hearing things that she shouldn't be hearing. How is her behavior when he comes to get her? Kids will pick up things when they visit another person. The best thing is to have someone supervise the father to find out what is going on. I don't think its normal. If you think about the reason why you two separated, maybe its best for her to stay away from him til you find out for sure what is going on.

Although this could be a phase, the temper tantrums and not wanting you to change her diaper that is, the "owie" part would REALLY make me pursue this further with her pediatrician. I don't know what you have set up with your ex -- if it's on your own or through the courts -- but I would cancel all future visits or make sure you are there supervising the entire time in the very least. I really, really hope this isn't what it is sounding like but you must investigate immediately.

Abnormal.
Do you know your ex very well? Was he like that?
Tell him of her new actions and ask if anything is going on. If you can't talk to him, send him an e-mail but try not to make it suggest that you're not accusing him of anything.
Get her a Barbie and Ken doll. Let her play with them in the bath tub and just watch and listen. See how she has the dolls interact with each other.

Does she protest about going there for visits now?

For the just in case, check out his name where you are and where you came from to see if he has been stamped as a "sex offender."

Get a recommendation from your doctor for professional help and get it ASAP.
This nay be OK or it maybe something horrible happens with the father.
Either way you need help.
B. v.O

I would consult a pediatritian on this.. Just to make sure that nothing is going on.

Wow, I am so sorry I don't wanna upset you but I would stop those visits for a while until you can get your daughter in some playful way maybe to tell you what is happening especially with the bath time this is what bugs me children love this time and for her to change is a reason. My neighbors daughter had a lil girl she was letting the dady come pickup when he hadn't been around in a while and upon one return trip home the lil girl had bruises on her thighs and arms and when they removed her diaper her rectum was all bloody and bruisd he had been molesting her so please don't over look this and pay very careful attention now!. And just come up with a excuse she's ill etc and cannot visit now or be straight out and ask him questions. Good luck

I agree with Kalexander and the others. This doesn't sound right at all and you should be concerned. I would recommend supervised visits and see if the behavior changes. You should be able to find a list of people who provide this service off of the court's webpage. Unfortunately, you may need to take some legal step to get a court order requiring the supervision, as I wouldn't expect your ex will agree to it willingly.

Hi, No this is not normal! maybe you should have supervised visits first then when they build a better bond allow him to take her by himself. If i were you i would look into this more. something doesn't sound right . my sister use to let her son go to his dad's every weekend and when he would return home his behavior was horrible!!! it was because he was allowed to do things at his dad's that he wasn't allowed to do at home. it would take days before he would return back to normal but then the weekend came and we had to deprogram him all over again. Good Luck