Toddler Chic
Is that your child dressed like a hobo? Yes. Yes it is.
For years, I fought the quotidian battle of the outfits with my children. I spent time, effort and a lot of money coordinating cute things from Baby Gap, Janie and Jack, Old Navy and Children’s Place. Cute top? Check. Adorable skirt? Check. Matching tights? Hell yeah. Teeny tiny shoes: yes and even yesser. Hair accessory? Duh.
Then they got all mobile and opinionated.
My vision of tiny doll-like girls was tossed aside with the matching ensembles. Lena shunned any jeans and insisted on wearing “soft pants” with everything. Colors, patterns, styles – be dammed. Emmeline has since followed suit. Heinous leopard print clown suit – but suit, nonetheless.
They proclaimed, “I will wear the things I feel like wearing when I feel like wearing them, and rock them with panache.” Who am I to stop them?
Gymnastics leotard on backwards: Check
Swim shirt worn as a skirt: Check
Pink soft pants: Check
Giant Singing Turkey as accessory: Check
Against my better judgment, they have also left the house wearing the following (just to name a few):
- Tiaras.
- Princess dresses.
- Gymnastics leotards over sweat suits.
- Plastic rain boots and bathing suits.
- A bat costume.
- Clothes that belong to me.
- Clothes that belong to their friends.
- Clothes that I have no idea where the hell they came from.
- Clothes that are all one color, but different variations of it.
- Clothes that are two sizes too small.
- Clothes that are several sizes too big.
- Gaudy rhinestone clip-on earrings. Sometimes on their ears. Sometimes in other places.
- Stickers in their hair.
- An extremely fancy Christmas velvet and crinoline dress…in August. With wool tights. And monkey mittens.
- Flip flops and snow pants in the summer.
- A plastic bowl as a hat.
- Feety pajamas and cowboy boots.
Getting dressed is NOT a battle with the girls, because there are SO FREAKIN’ MANY OTHER BATTLES waged on a daily basis. You want to look like you just crawled out of a donation bin? Be my guest. However, there is ONE exception to the rule: no socks and sandals.
Tracy Winslow is one of the top four funniest people at her address. She lives with her husband and two daughters in California. You can read more of their hilarious antics on Twitter, Facebook, and her blog, Momaical.
