The (Not So) Silent Type

I enjoy quiet time just as much as the next person, but lately I feel like we’ve been shushing our kids a little too much. Mostly, I’m talking about when we’re out in public. While I agree, we need to teach our kids the so-called rules of engagement when out and about, constantly asking them to quiet down just gets plain old. Yes, I want to teach my children to use their “indoor voices” and use their manners when we’re in restaurants and the like. It just seems to me we have become a bit intolerant when it comes to the everyday sounds of our children.

Honestly, unless a child is having a flat out screaming tantrum, I enjoy the many sounds of children. I realize though, this is not true for everyone. I vividly recall an instance when I was faced with the rude awakening that not everyone thinks my child is as cute as I think he is (the nerve).

Anyway, there we were, my 3 year old son and I doing the grocery shopping. I was just happy to have only one child to wrangle into the shopping cart. Armed with my list and a toy train to keep him occupied, I felt well prepared that we’d get through this shopping in a breeze. My son was happily making train sounds while I was focused on my list and the task at hand.

Was he being loud, yes, a little. Was he disturbing the peace? No, I don’t think so. Was he happy? YES…so… I was too. We even passed a few smiling faces down the aisles, picking up our goods. One woman even cooed…oh, he’s so cute. Yes he is, thank you (I thought).

Almost done and no tears, no whining, no complaining…just train sounds (woo..woo..all aboard!). We stopped to pick up some yogurt and apparently startled a woman contemplating between dannon and yoplait. “Oh my”, she exclaimed and seeing as we had startled her, I asked my son to lower his voice…see I’m sensitive to that.

But the train sounds continued, much to this woman’s dismay who then turned to her friend and loudly said, “that is so annoying”. Okay, I turned to walk away because as anyone who knows me will attest to, I do not like confrontations. But, I stopped, blood boiling, trying to remain calm and felt compelled to reply, “I’m sorry, please do no not talk to my son that way”. I don’t know what I expected her to say but she remained firm and replied “well, it’s loud and annoying”. I retorted with “he’s three years old and making train sounds for goodness sake!”

We both turned our separate ways, I wasn’t sure I had conveyed the right message to my son. I was still a little shaky from having had that confrontation. But it got me thinking…who was in the right? Here I was a mother with two young children just trying to get the grocery shopping done and to me, it seemed to be going smoothly. To her, we were a nuisance…“loud and annoying”.

So you see, can’t kids just be kids anymore? I try to respect other people’s need for quiet and privacy, however, we were not at the library, church, fancy restaurant, or some other place they frown upon when kids walk in. We were in a grocery store for heavens sake and all I really wanted to say was this: " geez lady, do you really need quiet while picking out your yogurt?" Apparently, she did.

So tell me, what do you think? Has our society become more intolerant to the “sounds” of children? Have you ever had a confrontation when someone thought your child was being too loud, if so, what did you do?

Melissa is a pediatrician turned stay at home Mom who is realizing that parenting rarely plays out like in the text books. She is enjoying this journey through parenthood and all the unexpected surprises that come along with it.