Reveling in the Misfortune of Others

My husband has an evil laugh. Most people have never heard it.

It came out to play last night.

The scene unfolded like this.

A boy, one unfamiliar with the intricacies of the challenge before him, determined to run with the big dogs. Across the table, all mysterious and darkly convincing, his father. Shady deals take place. The boy thinks he has the advantage. He is wrong, but he doesn’t know it yet.

The little women leave the room. They’ve grown weary of the details. Lost interest in the subtle nuances of the fight.

The man, the one with the evil laugh, he starts to smile. The corners of his lips curled just so. He topples the other pillar of strength in the house, stripping her of everything she holds dear in the process. She is left with nothing to her name. But he can’t take her pride.

She resolves herself to try and help the boy. It is of no use. The boy asks her how to beat the man. She doesn’t know. She’s never succeeded.

The man is too strong. Too driven by greed. Too relentless. Too lucky. He revels in the misfortune of the boy. He is merciless. And, in what seems like a heartbeat, the boy is conquered too.

The man rejoices. He laughs his evil laugh.

He celebrates.

Another game, another victory.

When Tom wonders why no one wants to play Monopoly with him, there are reasons. Many valid reasons, and most of them involve hotels.

He has never been one to humor the kids, to let them win. He might occasionally bend the rules for Monopoly, but never until it is past the point where his victory is certain. He’s good. That good.

I can beat him at just about any other game, and almost always do. In fact, there are games he is so bad at that he won’t even play them. Yahtzee is one. A game of chance, so really there is no reason that he should forever be on the losing end…and yet he is.

If you ask him, he has beaten me at chess twice. In a row. With the same move. He enjoyed those victories. I like to think I just wasn’t paying enough attention that fateful day. In all the years I have known him, the only time he’s beaten me at that game of strategy is that one day.

Another game of strategy, Monopoly, is a whole different story. He fancies himself the king of the game. I wish I could argue his point. But I can’t.

Now the kids know that they can’t trust a thing the man says when the board is on the table and he’s laughing his evil laugh.

He’s not their father when they are playing. He’s a heartless, greedy opponent. And he will win.

Oh yes, he will.

Kelly is a woman, a wife and a mother of four incredible children. Oh, and she’s never beat her husband at Monopoly. Ever.