Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

Life is Too Short For...

by Lisa Quinn
Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

1. Life is Too Short to Plant an organic garden of heirloom vegetables and flowers in the form of P for perfect.

Here’s the brutal truth, Ladies, you can’t have it all. Why would you even want it all? Consider the alternative for a moment. Consider a life without all this pressure, imagine having happiness, order, peace, and success in your life without all the drama. It begins by stepping away from perfectionism.

2. Life is Too Short to Judge Yourself by Other Mom’s Opinions of You

I met a busy mom of three the other day who in the midst of our conversation admitted that she sometimes skips out on playdates because she feels her clothes and the clothes of her kids don’t measure up. I had a similar story to share. I bought a fake Chanel bag once, for certain occasions. I was always terrified that someone with a real Chanel bag was going to out me. It wasn’t enough that I was outgoing and personable: I apparently needed a $2500 purse, too.

It’s not just fashion, it’s everything. You’ve got to love the little zingers you get from the other moms who just want to help. “Oh…so you send Gillian to preschool…Well, I’m sure that makes it so much easier for you” or “Wow, you let him eat that?” or “Bless your heart, you’re working so hard. It’s no wonder you can’t keep the house up.” My favorite is, “You Look So Tired.” How do you even respond to that? Should you apologize?

BTW, I still have that fake purse. It sits on a shelf in my closet stuffed with plastic bags to help keep its shape. I hang on to it to remind myself what a knucklehead I can be.

3. Life is Too Short to Say Yes

Are you a yes-woman? Do you consent without even processing the request? Do you agree to volunteer (again) then instantly dread the whole process? Do you feel guilty when you say no?

Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of the ‘disease to please.’ I say take care of the ones you love and shamelessly deny the rest. It may be difficult at first, but after a while, you’ll see the payoff: more time and less dread. Just say no. And when you do say no, keep your answer short. Lengthy justifications just make it seem like you are lying. A drawn-out response might also give you time to start feeling guilty and say yes—especially if you are lying.

4. Life is too Short to Multi-Task

Technology has ruined everything. There’s no place to hide anymore. Everyone knows you have email, instant messaging, social networks, and Bluetooth, and they all expect instant replies at any hour. In an effort to keep up, we end up multitasking all the time. It’s absurd how much we try to cram into a day.

There have been numerous studies on how multitasking really just means you’re doing a crappy job in a bunch of different areas. They say the brain has trouble giving 100 percent to more than one task at a time. I’m no doctor but I can tell you from my own personal experience that trying to juggle too much all the time will make you bat-shit crazy. Just ask my family.

It’s my belief that a lot of this overactivity is simply an addiction to drama. I hear so many people complain endlessly about how busy they are. They bitch and moan about it so much that I’m certain they’re secretly proud of it. All that hustling around can give a person a false sense of importance. Could it be that you are only busy for busy-ness sake? If so, maybe it’s time to check in with yourself. Are there activities you could erase from your schedule that would relieve some of the stress? Can you be okay with the fact that you don’t have to be occupied all the time? Really?

Lisa Quinn is an author, Emmy Award-winning television host, and recovering Marthaholic. Her new book, Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide To Domestic Liberation, is a crash course in Slacker Chic 101 that will have over-extended women everywhere laughing out loud and throwing in the towel the dishtowel, that is. Full of shortcuts and tricks for cleaning, decor, and entertaining, such as: the top 10 things you have to clean if you have company coming in 30 minutes; interior finishes that hide the most dirt; 17 meals made from a deli chicken; and much more, this wickedly funny guide helps women create the life they want without all the hard labor and without compromising style.

Editor’s Note: What is Life Too Short For… for you? Add your thoughts in the Comments below, and you may be a lucky winner of a copy of Life is Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets….

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70 Comments

I think we should all be who we are, wear what we wear. I have an organic garden. My mom helped me to put it in. It takes about five minutes of my time to water it, maybe more. I dont even do it every day. For me life is too short and watering the garden and playing by the river and just doing what I like slows it down. I say do what feels right to you.

Sunshine

My favorite two comments from other moms: "I would NEVER do that"... "If she or he was MY child, I would..." We generally do not place ourselves in each other's shoes (and often neglect to consider what others are going through), so be very, very careful about such judgmental statements! I am an older mother with younger children, so I guess other women feel the need to inform me. Advice is great, especially if I actually ask for it. I, like each of us, am NOT perfect. And that is ok...

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Really like all the advice.I'm a stay at home mom of a three and five year old. I love my kids greatly but parenting is hard work when you are trying to do your best but what happens when feel worn down from giving your best. HELP i need a vacation.....

Life is too short to worry what the neighbors are doing...not so much being nosey, but wishing you had what they have. I've found that behind their closed doors things are pretty much as chaotic as mine. And when I leave the house to take my kids to childcare and go to work I envy their ability to still be clothed in pajamas while kids watch cartoons. But, I provide for my family and support my husband and love my children. That's what matters right???

I've never really cared one way or another what others think of me, as long as I live a good life and treat others with kindness and respect.

I don't believe in buying what the Jones' have--or buying one or two steps up--just to "stay or be in the game." What game? Life? I feel life is what we want to make out of it, and I want mine to be as honest and pure and real as possible...

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I love this!!!! Thanks for the reality check.

My favorite reply I heard somewhere to "You look so tired" is "Is that an offer to babysit?"! If I could only be so witty in the moment!

While heartily agreeing with the basic idea that one shouldn't be forced into a state of misery by the expectations and demands of others, I would add one thought for reflection. Sometimes the comments and expectations of others are the instrument of our own growth. For example, I like to sleep until the very last minute and then rush to get to school/work on time. While working abroad, I had a very organized and wonderful roommate...

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so refreshing to read your article yes we are all in danger of wanting prerfection in life but you have it at a loss to everything else that matters [GOD GAVE US TODAY BUT DIDNT PROMISE US TOMORROW]WHEN I HAD MY DAUGHTER I STRIVED FOR EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT OUR HOME CLOTHES MEALS AND ALMOST BURNT MYSELF OUT I HAVE TWO GRANDDAUGHTERS AND I AM CONSTANTLY FINDING PIECES OF PUZZLES JEWELLERY AND WAIT FOR IT EVEN MY MAKE UP USED TO COLOUR WITH ...

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Life is too short to put off living your dreams...
too short to put off what you can do today...
too short to spend it in self pity...
too short to put off the things you want to say...
too short to ignore the ones we should be loving today...
too short to be living in the past...
and too short to miss living in the moment.

I lost my oldest daughter when she was 16 in a house fire. I raised another child with Autism...

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