Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

Life is Too Short For...

by Lisa Quinn
Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

1. Life is Too Short to Plant an organic garden of heirloom vegetables and flowers in the form of P for perfect.

Here’s the brutal truth, Ladies, you can’t have it all. Why would you even want it all? Consider the alternative for a moment. Consider a life without all this pressure, imagine having happiness, order, peace, and success in your life without all the drama. It begins by stepping away from perfectionism.

2. Life is Too Short to Judge Yourself by Other Mom’s Opinions of You

I met a busy mom of three the other day who in the midst of our conversation admitted that she sometimes skips out on playdates because she feels her clothes and the clothes of her kids don’t measure up. I had a similar story to share. I bought a fake Chanel bag once, for certain occasions. I was always terrified that someone with a real Chanel bag was going to out me. It wasn’t enough that I was outgoing and personable: I apparently needed a $2500 purse, too.

It’s not just fashion, it’s everything. You’ve got to love the little zingers you get from the other moms who just want to help. “Oh…so you send Gillian to preschool…Well, I’m sure that makes it so much easier for you” or “Wow, you let him eat that?” or “Bless your heart, you’re working so hard. It’s no wonder you can’t keep the house up.” My favorite is, “You Look So Tired.” How do you even respond to that? Should you apologize?

BTW, I still have that fake purse. It sits on a shelf in my closet stuffed with plastic bags to help keep its shape. I hang on to it to remind myself what a knucklehead I can be.

3. Life is Too Short to Say Yes

Are you a yes-woman? Do you consent without even processing the request? Do you agree to volunteer (again) then instantly dread the whole process? Do you feel guilty when you say no?

Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of the ‘disease to please.’ I say take care of the ones you love and shamelessly deny the rest. It may be difficult at first, but after a while, you’ll see the payoff: more time and less dread. Just say no. And when you do say no, keep your answer short. Lengthy justifications just make it seem like you are lying. A drawn-out response might also give you time to start feeling guilty and say yes—especially if you are lying.

4. Life is too Short to Multi-Task

Technology has ruined everything. There’s no place to hide anymore. Everyone knows you have email, instant messaging, social networks, and Bluetooth, and they all expect instant replies at any hour. In an effort to keep up, we end up multitasking all the time. It’s absurd how much we try to cram into a day.

There have been numerous studies on how multitasking really just means you’re doing a crappy job in a bunch of different areas. They say the brain has trouble giving 100 percent to more than one task at a time. I’m no doctor but I can tell you from my own personal experience that trying to juggle too much all the time will make you bat-shit crazy. Just ask my family.

It’s my belief that a lot of this overactivity is simply an addiction to drama. I hear so many people complain endlessly about how busy they are. They bitch and moan about it so much that I’m certain they’re secretly proud of it. All that hustling around can give a person a false sense of importance. Could it be that you are only busy for busy-ness sake? If so, maybe it’s time to check in with yourself. Are there activities you could erase from your schedule that would relieve some of the stress? Can you be okay with the fact that you don’t have to be occupied all the time? Really?

Lisa Quinn is an author, Emmy Award-winning television host, and recovering Marthaholic. Her new book, Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide To Domestic Liberation, is a crash course in Slacker Chic 101 that will have over-extended women everywhere laughing out loud and throwing in the towel the dishtowel, that is. Full of shortcuts and tricks for cleaning, decor, and entertaining, such as: the top 10 things you have to clean if you have company coming in 30 minutes; interior finishes that hide the most dirt; 17 meals made from a deli chicken; and much more, this wickedly funny guide helps women create the life they want without all the hard labor and without compromising style.

Editor’s Note: What is Life Too Short For… for you? Add your thoughts in the Comments below, and you may be a lucky winner of a copy of Life is Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets….

Like This Article

Like Mamapedia

Learn From Moms Like You

Get answers, tips, deals, and amazing advice from other Moms.

70 Comments

Life is too short to be connected to everybody....thus, my two cell phones stay at home. If someone wants to get ahold of me they can call and leave a message and I'll get back to them when it's convenient. Not while I'm driving, in church, grocery shopping, on a hike with my children or in bed with my husband.
I enjoy sitting out in the backyard on a cheap plastic chair watching my flock of exotic chickens and guineas...who needs television?

I'm not perfect, either, but I DO have a large organic garden in which I propagate heirloom seeds. I have been doing this for four years now, and love it. It is not always weed free, and my kitchen floor is not always dirt free, but the garden is loads and loads of fun! Besides, I got to know my fiance as a result of the garden. So, amidst all your justification for not doing things perfectly, please DO NOT put down those of us who organically garden heirloom seeds.

Too funny. This book is right up my ally. Can't wait to read it! :)

Thankfully we live in an area without the materialistic status whores with "just the right everything", but even if we did, I would SOOO turn around anything they said to me along the lines of pettyness with a simple, "REALLY? You think that's appropriate to say? Wow!". The judgment knife can always cut both ways. It's worse to think certain bags are important than to not have certain bags, preschools, nannies-whatever...

See entire comment

Life is too short to stay chained to my job past 5 pm. I can't wait to leave to get home and see my kids :)

Life is too short.... to be anyone but you. I learned that the hard way. I was married to a controlling, manipulative man for a very long until I realized I didn't like me anymore. I was always a fiercely protective mom, but I finally had to leave for mine and my childrens' sake and I am finding me again and being a woman and a mom I am proud to be. Jane, you are so right...

See entire comment

Yea! Thank you, thank you and thank you! What a refreshingly bold article. I play by my own rules, which can be really trying as a woman and especially as a mother and wife. I hope to teach my son to do the same thing in his own life. Happiness is very subjective - maybe by leaving that handbag empty, you are are fulfilled!

Thanks for sharing the love!!! Awesome words!

Jane, your story touched my heart too and so did this post and it is hard and unnecessary to "keep up with the Jones." so to say. It also is not fun. Keep your head up and just be you and Jane-God Bless!

First, let me say Jane, you are awesome. Though you have had your share of trials and tribulations, you learned early on that you don't have to do it by yourself. I firmly believe that no matter where you are, there is always at least one person who will help you IF you ask. God Bless you.

Second, I feel life is too short not to share candy with your kids and enjoy their happiness with it. I understand we are a nation of obesity, so everything in moderation...

See entire comment

Life is too short to keep up with a silly battle on a minute by minute basis. I may seem like an uncaring mom, but why battle my two kids who are one and two when we can much more importantly "deal" with the tough issues at hand; eating when it is time to eat, going to bed at bed time, and safety of course...

See entire comment

Wow, I guess I didn't realize how wonderful I have it. I can plant organic heirloom veggies (like all my friends do) and flowers in whatever shape I like, and it's a joyful and peaceful thing, not out of feeling a need to measure up to the other superwomen in my life...

See entire comment

I'm really looking forward to reading Lisa's book. I'm a firm believer in saying no often, choosing fun before dirty floors, (or fun with cleaning the dirty floor), and shedding the people in our lives that can't hang with that.
No matter how often it's affirmed, though, there's always something popping up to make us feel that we're not enough, or that we're not good mothers if we are true to ourselves, and our own well-being. It's wonderful to have support from other moms...

See entire comment

I'm a stay at home mom and always on edge about not bringing in a paycheck. I guess it's been drilled into me that if I'm not contributing monetarily to the household I'm not contributing at all. It's a sore point for me...

See entire comment

I think that it is good to take advice from others or observe what others may be doing to better the lives of their children and find a way to apply it to your own. I am very much a perfectionist though and totally agree with how insane it can be. Part of the trouble is that we get caught up in comparing "their" bests to our worsts. Then, it can get really depressing. All of these comments have been great...

See entire comment

Leave a Comment

Required
Required (will not be published)
Required (to prove you're human)
Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on topic and not abusive
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us
Want to become a contributor?
Want to become a contributor?

If you'd like to contribute to the Wisdom of Moms on Mamapedia, please sign up here to learn more: Sign Up

Blogs and bloggers we love

Recent Voices Posts

See all