Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

Life is Too Short For...

by Lisa Quinn
Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

1. Life is Too Short to Plant an organic garden of heirloom vegetables and flowers in the form of P for perfect.

Here’s the brutal truth, Ladies, you can’t have it all. Why would you even want it all? Consider the alternative for a moment. Consider a life without all this pressure, imagine having happiness, order, peace, and success in your life without all the drama. It begins by stepping away from perfectionism.

2. Life is Too Short to Judge Yourself by Other Mom’s Opinions of You

I met a busy mom of three the other day who in the midst of our conversation admitted that she sometimes skips out on playdates because she feels her clothes and the clothes of her kids don’t measure up. I had a similar story to share. I bought a fake Chanel bag once, for certain occasions. I was always terrified that someone with a real Chanel bag was going to out me. It wasn’t enough that I was outgoing and personable: I apparently needed a $2500 purse, too.

It’s not just fashion, it’s everything. You’ve got to love the little zingers you get from the other moms who just want to help. “Oh…so you send Gillian to preschool…Well, I’m sure that makes it so much easier for you” or “Wow, you let him eat that?” or “Bless your heart, you’re working so hard. It’s no wonder you can’t keep the house up.” My favorite is, “You Look So Tired.” How do you even respond to that? Should you apologize?

BTW, I still have that fake purse. It sits on a shelf in my closet stuffed with plastic bags to help keep its shape. I hang on to it to remind myself what a knucklehead I can be.

3. Life is Too Short to Say Yes

Are you a yes-woman? Do you consent without even processing the request? Do you agree to volunteer (again) then instantly dread the whole process? Do you feel guilty when you say no?

Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of the ‘disease to please.’ I say take care of the ones you love and shamelessly deny the rest. It may be difficult at first, but after a while, you’ll see the payoff: more time and less dread. Just say no. And when you do say no, keep your answer short. Lengthy justifications just make it seem like you are lying. A drawn-out response might also give you time to start feeling guilty and say yes—especially if you are lying.

4. Life is too Short to Multi-Task

Technology has ruined everything. There’s no place to hide anymore. Everyone knows you have email, instant messaging, social networks, and Bluetooth, and they all expect instant replies at any hour. In an effort to keep up, we end up multitasking all the time. It’s absurd how much we try to cram into a day.

There have been numerous studies on how multitasking really just means you’re doing a crappy job in a bunch of different areas. They say the brain has trouble giving 100 percent to more than one task at a time. I’m no doctor but I can tell you from my own personal experience that trying to juggle too much all the time will make you bat-shit crazy. Just ask my family.

It’s my belief that a lot of this overactivity is simply an addiction to drama. I hear so many people complain endlessly about how busy they are. They bitch and moan about it so much that I’m certain they’re secretly proud of it. All that hustling around can give a person a false sense of importance. Could it be that you are only busy for busy-ness sake? If so, maybe it’s time to check in with yourself. Are there activities you could erase from your schedule that would relieve some of the stress? Can you be okay with the fact that you don’t have to be occupied all the time? Really?

Lisa Quinn is an author, Emmy Award-winning television host, and recovering Marthaholic. Her new book, Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide To Domestic Liberation, is a crash course in Slacker Chic 101 that will have over-extended women everywhere laughing out loud and throwing in the towel the dishtowel, that is. Full of shortcuts and tricks for cleaning, decor, and entertaining, such as: the top 10 things you have to clean if you have company coming in 30 minutes; interior finishes that hide the most dirt; 17 meals made from a deli chicken; and much more, this wickedly funny guide helps women create the life they want without all the hard labor and without compromising style.

Editor’s Note: What is Life Too Short For… for you? Add your thoughts in the Comments below, and you may be a lucky winner of a copy of Life is Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets….

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70 Comments

Life is too short for thinking of so many things we have to accomplish at the end of the day that we even neglect what's the most important things in life..we are here on earth solely for God's purpose therefore we must live one day at a time.Make everyday worthy by following God's commandments to us.To love God above all things and do every good thing you can while living..

Jane, your story made me cry too... Not out of pity, but your attitude is amazing!!!! I too buy my son rummage sale clothes etc... Why not!? They grow so quickly and hand me down are my favorite!!! "broken in" and they make mw think of my friends kids that had them before my son.

I am so sorry for your losses! You sound like an amazing person and mom... Your son is so lucky to have a mom that makes it a priority to be happy inspire of all you've been through.....

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I don't really care what people think and that's probably because I am 45 years old and had my son when I was 40. The funny thing is -- my son has the cutest clothes, but he insist on dressing himself and with that, he wears his worst mismatched clothes. The funny thing, we live in a affluent area. I never raally thought about whether or not people were judging, until I read this on Mamapedia. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that my son grows up happy and a GOOD person...

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One more thing I want to share, when we're old and our children are adults, we're not going to remember about all the little insignificant insecurities we had in the process of raising our children. Basically, we're not going to remember the small stuff we worried about. Can you remember "the small stuff" you fretted about 5 years ago...exactly my point ;)

Life is too short to neglect our friendships. We arrange play dates and enrichment activities for our children. We worry about their social development and interpersonal skills. We plan family activities, date nights with our husband and arrange a myriad of details when entertaining at home.Too often we neglect our own social needs for friendship. We tell ourselves we'll make time for coffee with a friend or a night out with "the girls", but circumstances usually get in the way...

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Life is too short to worry what everyone else thinks of my 2 year old. If he wants to wear his green dinosaur shirt, blue plaid shorts, and red socks, that's NOT a reflection of my parenting skills! That's just me choosing one less thing to fight about in the morning. I'm done explaining myself to strangers and fretting about the looks people give each other when we pass.

Jane, you inspire me! You accept what life has given you and know that you can get through it. so many people would be so dis-heartened. Regarding the multi-tasking, I don't like how much I multitask or how busy I sometimes make myself for the sake of busy-ness, as the article discusses. This is an eye-opener for me. My son deserves my undivided attention more often than he's getting it...

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Loved #4, Wish i had realized forty years ago!

Why do we keep measuring ourselves against someone else? And if we are going to measure anyway, why do we do it in a way that makes us come up short? We are each just a bundle of quirks and foibles, and mine are as OK as yours, even though they may be different. Over time, I'm coming to appreciate my foibles.

Life is too short to...
...keep the floors spotlessly clean all the time.
...worry about all the things I can't do.
...stay angry about stupid things.
...create useless drama.
...waste on things and people that are not important to me.
...worry about "quantity". "Quality" is more important. We don't need to see EVERY exhibit in the museum; focusing on and enjoying what we want to see is more fun.

Jane, you are an inspiration. If you live anywhere near Las Vegas I will give you all of my son's clothes as he grows out of them. Thank you for giving us all a dose of reality and the opportunity to see that we should be grateful.

Thanks for the amazing story - NBC is looking for hero stories - sounds like your community and you have pulled it off. We lived in a small town and when we had a child born with a disability and end up in NICU for 11 days, we received 200 cards and meals (some from strangers) for 6 weeks.

What a great article because as hard as I try, I come across so many competitive moms, it gets to me. I love the part about secretly being proud of being so busy bc it seems like the only thing that explains it sometimes. Cut down on all the activities if you don't enjoy them!! For the longest time, I've tried to be positive with other moms because I was taught not to complain to every Tom Dick and Harry...

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I'll tell you what real guilt is -- getting hit with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as your raising your child. Suddenly you HAVE to say no to most, if not all, extra "stuff" because just getting through the day is a challenge. And people have no clue about Chronic Fatigue -- they think you're being lazy or that you just need to "buck up and tough it out." Or that it's an excuse. And the truth is you'd do ANYTHING to be able to be busy like all the other moms seem to be...

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I didn't know you shouldn't have breakfast for dinner. Thank you all for making me feel better about playing and enjoying each other instead of worrying about keeping a perfect house. I adore my 2 girls and feel guilty that I must work. I spend every second with them while they're awake, and I do what I can while they sleep. Quality vs quantity is my mantra...

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