Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

Life is Too Short For...

by Lisa Quinn
Photo by: Edwin & Kelly Tofslie

1. Life is Too Short to Plant an organic garden of heirloom vegetables and flowers in the form of P for perfect.

Here’s the brutal truth, Ladies, you can’t have it all. Why would you even want it all? Consider the alternative for a moment. Consider a life without all this pressure, imagine having happiness, order, peace, and success in your life without all the drama. It begins by stepping away from perfectionism.

2. Life is Too Short to Judge Yourself by Other Mom’s Opinions of You

I met a busy mom of three the other day who in the midst of our conversation admitted that she sometimes skips out on playdates because she feels her clothes and the clothes of her kids don’t measure up. I had a similar story to share. I bought a fake Chanel bag once, for certain occasions. I was always terrified that someone with a real Chanel bag was going to out me. It wasn’t enough that I was outgoing and personable: I apparently needed a $2500 purse, too.

It’s not just fashion, it’s everything. You’ve got to love the little zingers you get from the other moms who just want to help. “Oh…so you send Gillian to preschool…Well, I’m sure that makes it so much easier for you” or “Wow, you let him eat that?” or “Bless your heart, you’re working so hard. It’s no wonder you can’t keep the house up.” My favorite is, “You Look So Tired.” How do you even respond to that? Should you apologize?

BTW, I still have that fake purse. It sits on a shelf in my closet stuffed with plastic bags to help keep its shape. I hang on to it to remind myself what a knucklehead I can be.

3. Life is Too Short to Say Yes

Are you a yes-woman? Do you consent without even processing the request? Do you agree to volunteer (again) then instantly dread the whole process? Do you feel guilty when you say no?

Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of the ‘disease to please.’ I say take care of the ones you love and shamelessly deny the rest. It may be difficult at first, but after a while, you’ll see the payoff: more time and less dread. Just say no. And when you do say no, keep your answer short. Lengthy justifications just make it seem like you are lying. A drawn-out response might also give you time to start feeling guilty and say yes—especially if you are lying.

4. Life is too Short to Multi-Task

Technology has ruined everything. There’s no place to hide anymore. Everyone knows you have email, instant messaging, social networks, and Bluetooth, and they all expect instant replies at any hour. In an effort to keep up, we end up multitasking all the time. It’s absurd how much we try to cram into a day.

There have been numerous studies on how multitasking really just means you’re doing a crappy job in a bunch of different areas. They say the brain has trouble giving 100 percent to more than one task at a time. I’m no doctor but I can tell you from my own personal experience that trying to juggle too much all the time will make you bat-shit crazy. Just ask my family.

It’s my belief that a lot of this overactivity is simply an addiction to drama. I hear so many people complain endlessly about how busy they are. They bitch and moan about it so much that I’m certain they’re secretly proud of it. All that hustling around can give a person a false sense of importance. Could it be that you are only busy for busy-ness sake? If so, maybe it’s time to check in with yourself. Are there activities you could erase from your schedule that would relieve some of the stress? Can you be okay with the fact that you don’t have to be occupied all the time? Really?

Lisa Quinn is an author, Emmy Award-winning television host, and recovering Marthaholic. Her new book, Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide To Domestic Liberation, is a crash course in Slacker Chic 101 that will have over-extended women everywhere laughing out loud and throwing in the towel the dishtowel, that is. Full of shortcuts and tricks for cleaning, decor, and entertaining, such as: the top 10 things you have to clean if you have company coming in 30 minutes; interior finishes that hide the most dirt; 17 meals made from a deli chicken; and much more, this wickedly funny guide helps women create the life they want without all the hard labor and without compromising style.

Editor’s Note: What is Life Too Short For… for you? Add your thoughts in the Comments below, and you may be a lucky winner of a copy of Life is Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets….

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70 Comments

LOVED the leggo comment!

I think if you have even 1 kid and a spotless house, you're missing too much. If you have the choice to vacuum the livingroom or have a picnic on the front porch, the picnic should win out.

Life is too short..... to try to please everyone else at the expense of your own integrity. Focus on what makes you and your family happy and everything else falls into place. :)

I love this article! It's refreshing to see someone say what I feel! I tried to be perfect and found out that all I can be is me. I'm good enough.

Thanks for pointing out some of the hang-ups we have based on society and our own personalities.

Here's my addition to the list:

Life is too short not to act like a child sometimes.

Take time to listen to the rain, smell a dandelion, taste a mud pie, feel the cool grass under bare feet and look at a bug under a magnifying glass...

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Thanks so much for this reminder! I am guilty of judging myself by other people's yardsticks, not so much in the area of fashion but in the area of discipline. It's a hard habit to break, but your article is a good reminder of why I should.

Life is too short, period! There is NO MORE keeping up with the Jones'. I have two teens and a 4yo. Try keeping up with THAT! NOT! I would LOVE to go back to the "ease" of life back just 25 years ago, without all the electronics of today. I have now decided that I have to live MY life the way God wants me to, not the way any neighbor, family member, or the kids want me to...

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The hardest thing for me is feeling judged by my daughter's father. i'm a single mom, raising my daughter on my own, with the great help of my parents. Thankfully Grace's dad is in her life, however, i feel like he judges me on everything with her. God forbid he picks her up and i haven't gotten around to lunch yet, or i want to spend an extra few minutes with her because homework took up my whole day. the worst was last night. we had a family dinner planned with my sister and her family...

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So true! I might just have to pick up that book:)

My comments are really not important when I read stories like those from Jane. Life can be so much harder and when I read stories like hers, I don't have a single thing to complain about. I'm sorry Jane that you have had a difficult time. I pray that God's blessings are bestowed upon you - you already have one blessing and that is your child.

Life is too short...to complete your "to-do" list. You have to have time for fun!

I totally agree with the author. My motto is: Happy baby has clean butt, full stomach (preferably with something healthy) and, most importantly, Happy Mother!

Life is too short. I have 3 kids and find it difficult to sign them up for everything, so they get to pick one sport to do. My oldest daughter does horseback riding. My friend has a horse and is a trainer. She doesn't charge me alot. This is great for my budget. My son does soccer, and my youngest she's 5 is not interested in anything at the momoment. Maybe dance when she starts kindergarten. I refuse to run around to all different events. One sport is good enough for my kids...

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Life is too short… to make the bed! This has got to be the stupidest chore ever.

Yea to too much "connection" and multitasking. I would LOVE to dispose of my cell phone, and my husband would eliminate my computer if he could. This article is so RIght on! I love it! I am leaving on vacation soon, and will be packing the computer and cell phone in the same box under the bed- we are going to do this the old fashioned way...talk to you when I get back!

I love this article! I think most of us experience some version of the Chanel bag incident before we realize how crazy we've become. With luck, this happens before our kids pick up on the notion of childhood as a competition. Life really is too short, and our kids' childhood is even shorter. Bring on the mismatched play clothes!

Life is too short to NOT take care of yourself. I have been exercising regularly since January and now that school is out, it's a challenge to get child care, but worth it for me to have 1 hour of physical activity during which I am not entertaining my children. I have to put ME on the list and it's OK to take care of myself.

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