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Eight Reasons You Should Be #1 On Your To-Do List

Photo by: Wonderlane

Sometimes I feel like a broken record, constantly advocating the benefits of self-care and how it has transformed my life over the last ten years.

But this past week confirmed that this message is one we all need to hear, over and over again.

I recently led a workshop for woman entrepreneurs at all life stages on how to work less and experience more. I call this approach the Empowered Entrepreneur —a topic I’m very passionate about.

Toward the end of the workshop, after covering a lot of essential ground related to running a small business, I touched on the importance of self-care; especially, for moms. And interestingly, this arena is where the most lively, passionate, emotional dialogue erupted.

They all seemed to grasp that self-care—cultivating an awareness for and responding to their physical/emotional/spiritual/mental needs—was fundamental to their well-being. And, they understood intellectually that they couldn’t build a business—much less function—when they were exhausted, harried, out of synch with themselves and running on empty.

But, were they ready to change their behavior and mindset to be more compassionate, nurturing and responsive to their deepest needs?

My ah-ha moment and initial motivation to learn more about self-care (read The Transformative Power of Self-Care from my book), came after having my son and realizing how vital it was for me to teach him to honor and nurture himself—something my sweet mother who battled depression most of her life, was never able to teach me.

What will it take for you to make this shift?

Consider the following “gifts from self-care” I’ve received over the years. When we renew ourselves by attuning and responding to our needs:

1. We feel more generous and can avoid building resentments toward others who demand our energy and time.

2. We naturally feel more loving, which makes us better friends, partners, parents and more enjoyable to be around!

3. We validate and honor our own worth, our essence, which naturally enhances confidence and self-esteem and lowers susceptibility to depression and anxiety.

4. We feel more alive and whole; we’re able to function at our best and do more of the things we want to do.

5. We renew and restore our energy supply and create energy reserves so we’re able to weather unforeseen challenges more easily.

6. We’re more present and calm; we can respond wisely, intuitively and effectively to a variety of circumstances.

7. We begin to step into our personal power (realizing our potential), which is our birthright.

8. We feel good on the inside, which leads to looking good on the outside. Nurturing your essence—inside and out—promotes well-being and vitality.

SUMMER SELF-CARE CHALLENGE

I invite you for the next thirty days to begin to become aware of how you’re feeling and what you need. Try a quick body scan before you even step out of bed in the morning. Just lie there for a moment and check in with your physical and emotional health. Are you overscheduled, do you need to lighten your load? Do you need to move your body or spend more time in nature? Are you dehydrated or are you eating something that is not enhancing your energy level? Do you need to say “no” to something or ask for help? Do you need to build in a day or evening to just rest (A radical concept, I know!). I have been focusing on self-nurturance for ten years and I still have a long way to go. But, hands down, this has been the most life-changing practice I have ever embraced. And the gifts that come from cultivating more compassion and love for myself, continue to greet me daily. I’d love to hear your comments around the theme of self-care. Cancer survivor Audre Lorde says it best, “Self-care is not about self-indulgence, it’s about self-preservation.”

Renée Peterson Trudeau is a nationally-recognized career/life balance coach, president of Career Strategists and the author of the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Thousands of women around the U.S./Canada are joining and becoming trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups based on the Guide, as a way to enhance balance and well-being in their lives.

Editor’s note: Leave your thoughts and comments below and you could be a lucky winner of Renée’s book The Mother’s Guide to Self Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life.

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39 Comments

I can attest to the transformative power of self-care. I've been leading Personal Renewal Groups (PRG) based on The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal for two years now and have been amazed at the shift in my life (and my PRG members' lives) because of it.

Just this weekend my husband encouraged me to attend a yoga class I was debating whether to attend or not. I asked him why he thought I should go. He told me because I'm a much happier person when I nurture myself...

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Renee, Your first reason hit home for me. It can be very easy to resent people who drain your energy. I know this first-hand. With the power of self-care, however, I do believe you can begin to let go or at least diminish that resentment.

I LOVE this! As a mom of 2 children under 3, I have never given so much of myself of stretched myself so thin! I need to make myself a priority. It will help my kids as well, because I'd be a better mother!

Practicing self-care has shown me that I can be gentle and compassionate with myself, just as I would be with a friend.

I agree with all of it, but I think there are stages in our lives when we have to put our needs on hold, much as we need a break. Our daughters are 3 and 8 months, and now that the baby is older, I've finally got the chance to start having occasional outings with friends, and it's been wonderful. I knew I needed it, but I just wasn't able to do it sooner...

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I have used the practice of daily self-care check-ins (since reading your book) and have found my life to be transformed. Such as simple act of asking "what do I need to do today so I feel renewed, balanced, energized?" has made me a better mother, friend, daughter, sister, wife, coach, and person! Thank you for the reminder.

Hi Jennifer, thanks so much for sharing. I wanted to share a brief thought. You are absolutely right that when our kids are very young, this is a really intense time and it's hard to get away for nights out or time alone...

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I’m so excited to find this post! I had an amazing experience as a member of a Personal Renewal Group based on your book. Joining that group was one of the best decisions I’ve made since becoming a mother. At the time I joined, I was to the point of feeling resentment towards the people I love the most – my husband and children. I figured out through the exercises we did in the PRG that I wasn’t taking care of me – my true self. I was nurturing my children, but not myself...

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I had the opportunity to attend one of Renee’s self renewal retreats this past spring at the Crossings in Austin. It was an incredible experience and truly empowering. It caused me to see how self-care can change my life--something that I never realized before. I’ve heard that Renee is leading another retreat next month at Kripalu center in MA.

I love the ideas in Renee's book, blog and articles, and aspire to follow them. Like her, I'm still on the path (and way far behind her), but each day gets me closer if I try to remember that I'm actually a participant in my life - not just an observer or facilitator for others. Resentment is one of those things that can easily build up when you don't actively engage. But it's like the saying: resentment is like taking poison and expecting the OTHER person to die from it.

My husband and I are in Italy right now on a two week vacation witwout our 3 kids. I would not have been able to do this without Renee's book showing me how important it is to take care of myself and the importance of staying connected with my husband. Renee's wisdom and my PRG woman are with me in thought reminding me of little things to not miss.

Great dialogue. Thanks for taking the timem to share your experiences around self-care. I'm currently on a writing sabbatical and exploring Self-Care as a Spiritual Practice. Really rich theme. If you'd like to learn more, I invite you to join me Aug. 13-15 at Kripalu Yoga and Wellness Center in the MA Berkshire mountains: http://www.kripalu.org/program/view/WSRR-101/reflect_recl...

renee, I checked out your book from the library, and now I'd love to own my own copy. I know that had I known about self care, I wouldn't have entered into such depression when I had 3 small children under the age of 7 at home...and all I did was for them, thinking that's what a "good mom" does.

I was wrong...a good mom remembers herself.

Excellent post. I just joined a boot camp to rev up my exercise routine. Without exercise, I wouldn't be able to do the 17 hours required of me each day. Thank you for the encouragement to take a day of rest.

Great names think alike, haha.

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