Photo by: KeyAnna68

Poop Doesn't Discriminate

Photo by: KeyAnna68

In the past 2 weeks, I have come to the conclusion that poop does not discriminate. But what does that mean exactly? Long story short? Poop in a diaper, in a potty, on the floor, or where ever else my toddler may think up to poop during this potty training process does not care if I just got my nails done, or if they are beautifully manicured.

Let me explain! For the longest time I would go bi-weekly to get my nails done. It was something I enjoyed to do for myself, and my husband wouldn’t complain because he always benefited from the back scratches. As the boys got older, and Ben hit a year old, I figured they are old enough now where I am not worried about accidentally scratching them, or having some kind of nail incident. So a month ago I made the trip to my local nail salon that I was a regular at for years before the boys, waited my turn, and sat down for my manicure. I treated myself, and it felt awesome. On the way home I stopped, got a Shaken Passion Tea Lemonade from Starbucks, and to the house I went.

I made it a couple days without denting, dinging, or chipping a nail. Even to date I think I have only banged up one nail a couple times. I have done awesome keeping them looking like a super star. Then came my biggest challenge. Toddler poop. When Camden goes poop in his diaper, it is one hell of a time changing him. He squirms, flails, and tries to roll away in the crib, or where ever else I am changing him. It never fails. Just as I go to attack his butt and wipe him off, he moves. 9 times out of 10 landing a finger right in toddler crap. Really??? Come on!

Last week while I was getting my nails done, I was sitting at the station talking to the lady painting my nails bright blue for me, and the kids came up. My mother always is talking about them at the same salon, so when I go in they of course are the topic of conversation. The poop incidents came up. All the girls laughed at me, and most of them, the ones who you could tell were in the mom boat just like me laughed and totally could relate. The younger girls, who clearly didn’t have any kids of their own seemed beyond grossed out. Newsflash ladies! One day that poopy manicure will be right there on those hands of yours!

I think that frustrates me the most about the poopy manicure is we had Camden fully potty trained in a week back in January. After that week it was almost like he looked at us, laughed and said it was only a preview and totally regressed. I am not surprised as he was barely 2 years old and they say the average age for boys is 3. He seems to be coming around more and more, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in actually pooping in the potty. I don’t feel bad as I know some others who have gone through identical situations in potty training.

In the mean time, moral of my story today? Poop doesn’t discriminate. It will ruin your manicure, it will attack your unpainted finger nails, newly painted finger nails, any kind of fingers or finger nails. It does not discriminate based on manicure status. It will get anyone, any age, any nail style.

Oh the joys of children, and potty training!

Danielle Elwood is the author of Momotics and the mother of two boys three and under. She is a New England native who is a passionate advocate in the parenting community, and best known for her writing in the Pregnancy, and Childbirth community.

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27 Comments

I have been dealing with this same situation for 20 years (my daughter is developmentally disabled and at a 27 month developmental level) and during my career on "poop patrol" I have found only one thing that works. A box of latex (or non latex if you are allergic) gloves right next to the toilet or the changing table. I get the blue ones at the Kaiser Permanente pharmacy and use removable 3M Command Mounting Strips to stick the entire box to the wall...

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I'm a stay at home mommy, and haven't got a manicure since I had kids. While I can somewhat sympathize with just having a manicure and then changing a diaper or doing something else for the kids ( which is honestly neverending), I don't think this is even worth talking about. Yeah it stinks when you get a manicure and then its ruined. My two year old is potty training and plenty of times has pooped in her underwear. Which I then got on my hands. Which I then washed thouroughly. End of story...

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Like Amy I gave up on manicure since I had my 2 yr. old. Seemed like a waste of money if you're going to be washing poop from underwear and all the other cleaning that goes with having a toddler scribble or draw on any other surface of your home. I'll just get a pedi now and then just to make me feel good, and that's if I have the time to do it.

Amy, I think you took the post out of content... It is meant to be a humor piece, not seriously taken.
Oh the joys of motherhood, not complaining about it.

one day, not too long ago, i dealt with a dog that ate baby poop, a baby that ate dog poop, a cat that poops anywhere BUT the litter box, and - as a result of some bacteria, the need to shovel my own poop into some vials. if one thing defines motherhood, its definately the poop :)

Here's one more for the poo-chronicles...
My 2 year-old son recently pooped in the tub one night while taking a bath. Not too big of a deal except for the fact that I too was sitting in the tub with him!!! Oh, and did I mention that I had just washed my face?
UGH!

Learn how to do your own nails. Wear gloves. Whatever it takes. Poop is poop. No big deal ladies and men. We all have to do it sometime. Step up to the plate and wear some big girl panties and big boy underoos.

Some people take things to serious ALL the time! Amy also missed the pleasure and doing it for yourself part. Sad catty behavior. Come on girls have some fun. We should be helping each other. Women need to stick together(like the men) not make each other feel bad. Well Danielle I loved the piece. Write some more soon!! Very funny!!!

yeah poop is just poop...moms i think we need just pedicures for the moments that we have a toddler. i have a grandson that is in potty training at the time..wow i am glad i have not had time for a manicure. keep up the good work that is why we get such great gifts for mothers day..we are well worth it..

It always comes at the most inconvenient time. When we are just leaving and have to be somewhere on time. ;-)

If we have time, I dampen toilet paper and get the worst off (and it can go straight in the toilet) and then stand him in the tub. With the hand shower on a gentle setting and not full blast, I soap him and rinse him.
Afterwards, he says, "well that wasn't so bad after all". One time he added "and I smell nice!". LOL

Poop, that is hilarious. I am a Mimi of 5 fabulous grandchildren. My daughter and I went to the salon so she could get a haircut with hwe 5 year old Xaida and 9 month old Ella-Blu. We went inside with her, no problem I can handle it. But then Ella-Blu had a smelly poop. I took her to a small sofa away from everyone. She squirms and almost rolls off the end, I am frantic thinking I'm going to loose her off the edge...

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Nikki, that's hilarious and so true! As a mom of 4 and long time GI sufferer, I can totally relate.

I get a manicure once a month, not just due to time constraints and a budget, but also because, like you, I'd end up with cracked/chipped nail polish. As someone with naturally long, strong nails, I suggest going to get a manicure only for them to trim your nails and cuticles, and then if you must use nail polish (which will chip in no time), use either clear nail polish or a very light shade of pink that looks natural, so no one will notice if something happens to your nails...

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Great Story Nikki!!!! To the rest of the ladies...C'mon just because we're Mom's doesn't mean we can't do something nice for ourselves every now and then. Aren't we suppose to take care of ourselves first in order to take good care of our children! I enjoyed this story and I think this story is comical whether you are a Mom who gets a manicure weekly or a Mom who hasn't had one in 20 years;-)

Thanks fo sharing, Very Funny, and I remember it well. One day you'll forget yourself and tell this story and totally mortify your son. I've done it. LOL! Then once they are grown you'll miss (YES Miss) These times and when your trying to figure out the whole un talked about depressing and very painful empty nesting part of life, you'll realize how precious those crazy hairpulling days were...

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