Busy is Better: Debunking the Over-Scheduled Myth

Current wisdom says that flooding kids’ schedules with extracurricular activities like sports practices, music lessons and art classes, may not allow any time for kids to be kids, but are today’s so called “hyper-parents” really doing anything wrong?

Determined to provide their children with all of the opportunities their calendars and checkbooks can bear, today’s parents, who just a few years ago were urged to sign their kids up for everything, are now being scolded for doing precisely that. The pace of over-full schedules is damaging American children. Busy is bad. The blades of helicopter parents must be clipped and calendars emptied so everyone could return to the slower, simpler, happier times of the past. But do “simpler times” really exist? In theory it’s a nice image of everyone linking arms and singing around the piano, but who really does that? The best family moments come unexpectedly and are just as likely to come when everyone is together at some kid event.

Many experts also believe that busy isn’t bad. In fact, busy is good and perhaps, busy is even better for families. In 2006 Yale psychologist Joseph Mahoney looked at 2,100 5- to 18-year-olds and concluded that the more time kids spent in organized activities, the better their grades, the higher their self-esteem and the richer their relationships with their parents. Even kids who spent more than 20 hours a week in activities did not suffer, he said. (Mahoney, J.S., Harris, A.L., & Eccles, J.S. Organized Activity Participation, Positive Youth Development, and the Over-Scheduling Hypothesis. Social Policy Report, 20(4). The Over-Scheduling Myth)

Dr. Joshua Coleman from the Council on Contemporary Families says that kids today are actually closer to their parents than in past generations. He cautions against revisionist history – reminding families that parents today (both married and single) are spending more time teaching, caring and playing with their kids than parents did in the supposed golden age of the family in the 1950s/1960s. He adds that “kids really do feel the investment and sense of care that their parents are putting into them.”

And in return, parents feel fortunate to be able to provide a range of opportunities for their kids (many they didn’t have growing up). Just last month, Cozi.com, a free online service providing tools for busy families to manage the chaos of daily life, surveyed more than 200 of its users to find out how they feel their current schedules are impacting their children and family relationships. Sixty-eight percent of Cozi’s users reported that they feel happy about their children’s level of activity. Another 88 percent responded that, by involving their kids in a variety of different activities, they are providing opportunities for growth and development, increasing self-esteem, and expanding their social circles.

For the cynics who claim that a busy schedule equates to a disconnected family, it actually may achieve just the opposite with families making a more conscious effort to stay connected when the calendar is full. Despite everyone going in different directions, scheduled activities can allow parents and children to come together and enjoy the best aspect of life.

What do you think — is busy better for YOUR family?

Jenny Deam is a freelance journalist. Romi Lassally is a busy Mother of three and a contributing Cozi Editor.

Editor’s Note: This post was sponsored by Cozi, Family life. Simplified.