My son (who will be three in November) is up until at least 10pm every night. He gets up on his own by 7am in the morning. He naps at daycare but it doesn't sound like it's usually more than an hour. He doesn't exhibit any signs of sleep deprivation but it just seems that most kids sleep more than this. Plus Mom would like a little down time at night before 10pm! (or just to go to bed early)
We have a sleep routine (reading, music, etc.) which we start at 8:30. He just doesn't seem tired until 9:30 or 10.
I can't really ask daycare to skip the nap (which we do on the weekends and this does help him go to sleep earlier) as all the kids rest.
Any thoughts or do I just have to accept that my son doesn't need as much sleep as I do?
He probably is a kid that doesnt need much sleep, but 10 seems really late to me. Since he doesnt know time, start a little earlier with bed routine and make it short and simple. Maybe also talk about relaxing his body and using soothing music. It may also help if you rub his back and cuddle a little to help him nod off.
I have two kids that have different sleep needs..a 6 yr old that has to be in bed by 8:00 and a 3 yr old that would stay up all night if i let her. I put the 6yr old to bed and let the 3 yr old stay up until 8:30 before we make her go down...she gets books, etc too, but lately we let her fall asleep in the living room, I cuddle and rub her back and talk about relaxing her body...she is asleep, most nights in about 10-15 minutes. and then i carry her to her bed.
You may also need to use rewards for him, like a sticker for getting into bed and staying there or not crying for mommy after he is put into bed. then after 5-7 stickers he gets a special treat.
good luck!
Sonia,
Maybe he doesn't need the nap? My son is 3 1/2 and has recently stopped napping, when the nap left, we moved bedtime as close to 7 as we can manage... some nights it does get to be 7:30 before we get the kids to bed, but both boys do well with 12 hours of 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. sleep.
Hope that helps.
Jess
SAHM to Joey (22 months) Charlie (3 1/2) and baby girl due Nov. 16
Every kids needs different amounts of sleep but i have to agree with the other posts this sounds like it isn't enough. Before my first daughter was born I bought the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth and I think it is an excellent book. There are a couple of tables in the book that show what ranges of sleep are normal for different ages including times they go to bed and number of naps, length of naps etc.
The link to the book on Amazon is...
I highly recommend the book. Godd luck.
Yes, you can ask daycare not to let him nap. Your provider may want a break from the children, but if he is not disruptive, he could have a quiet time looking at books. If he does fall asleep ask that he be awoken after a certain amount of time. He absolutely should be awake by 3:00.
My almost 4 year old has a 8:30 bed time. If she naps she isn't quite ready to sleep yet, but we put her down anyway. She'll usually talk and sing to herself for about a half hour until she falls asleep.
My stepson has a bed time of 8:30 pm... he's 10 years old. He had requested that it be changed to 9 pm, but we found out that we usually had a grumpy kid the next day so he went back. His brother (almost 2) goes to bed at 7:30 - 8 pm; he takes a daily nap of 1 1/2 - 2 hrs. Both wake up around 7 am the next day.
Would he be disruptive if you leave him alone (lights out) in his room at bedtime?
I'm asking because sometimes my almost 2 year old does not want to lay down (even if he's yawning!) and in those times he will throw things within his reach.
But if yours is willing to just relax in his bed, then perhaps you could try that. He won't be getting more sleep (and I do think 10 pm is way too late for him) but you could get some time for yourself.
Would pushing his bedtime routine back to 7:30 pm help? Also, someone once told me that a warm bath should always be the last thing in the bed-time routine because it's relaxing. Maybe if you play around with him (make him sweat) and then bring him down with reading and a warm bath (that works for me!)?
Good luck with this. I know how frustrating it can be when you are ready for bed but they are not. :{
I do think 10pm is too late for a young child (some nights its too late for me! :))
Do you justp ut him to bed or do you wait until he shows signs he's tired? I ask because my boys are 6.5 and 3 and NEVER show signs of being tired, if its past thier bedtime the yrun around like wind up toys and never yawn or stretch or anything, they act totally normal. If you start the bedtime routine at 7pm with a bath, jammies, story, thne turn the music on and leave the room, he'll probably be out like a light by 8pm.
My obys are both in bed at 7:30pm, and are both up around 7am. My 3yr old takes a 1-3hr nap in the afternoons, and my 6.5yr old is in 1st grade.
I would say put him to bed after your routine, at least by 8pm, lights out ,close the door, and call it a night. It'll porbalby take a couple days for him to get into the new sleeping pattern, but I bet you'll both be happier about it when it happens.
Hi Sonia,
You are never too old for a nap. Sleeping is a habit...the more you sleep, the more you want to sleep, so therefore I would say your little guy isn't getting enough sleep. I know it doesn't all make sense, but it is very true. Taking away a nap isn't the solution to making your child sleep better or longer...and it definitely isn't making him a happier child. He should be getting at least a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, and still going to bed around 8 pm. Sometimes the earlier you put them to bed the later they will sleep. I know there were times when my children were small that I would tell them if they got up too early to go back to bed, and they did, most of the time. I was a stay at home mom, my children were in bed around 8 - 8:30 pm, and sometimes slept until 9 am, although they were usually up around 8 am. Whatever you decide to do...be consistent and follow through every time.
Cody
My 2 1/2 year old goes to bed between 7-7:30pm and sleeps until around 7:30am and takes a 2-2 1/2 hour afternoon nap. My 5 year old goes to bed between 7:30-8:00pm and sleeps until around 7:00am. It doesn't seem as if your son is getting enough sleep going to bed at 10pm. I would have him in bed by 7-7:30pm. I bet he will still sleep until 7am. I would also suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as an earlier poster talked about.
How do you get your kids into bed b4 9? I have a 5 yr old, 3.5 yr old and a 20 month old and I can never get them in bed b4 1030
Hi,
10 is pretty late and you are right, you need some time yourself.
Many times, once a kid gets past that "window" of being tired, they get their second wind and get "wired" so to speak. Try starting the bedtime routine at 7:45 and in bed by 8:00. Even if it takes a while to get to sleep, at least you're able to have your time.
With my kids, they would happily stay up until 10:00 if I let them. As long as they are upright, they are raring to go, but if they are in bed, they are usually asleep by 8:30/9:00.
Kelly
Sonia,
Kids are wierd this way and their sleep cycles are counterintuitive. With them, "sleep begats sleep."
So if they get a lot of sleep, they need more and if they don't get a lot of sleep, they need less.
I would start pulling his bedtime routine back in 15 minute incriments until it starts at 6:30 or 7:00, not 8:30. The surprising thing is that when you do this with kids, they may get up a little earlier, but not much. So they end up sleeping longer through the night.
It sounds like your son is up long enough to get his second wind. Don't have him skip his nap. Remember, sleep begats sleep and he is likely to have a harder time getting to sleep at night if he is overtired in the daytime.
My 3 year old sleeps from 7:30-7:00 and takes a 2 hour nap each afternoon. My 6 year old sleeps from 8:00-7:00 and takes a 1 hour nap. Each kid is a little different, but it gives you an idea of what to expect now and in the next few years.
Good luck,
Shellie
Absolutely tell daycare you don't want him to nap - you are the customer! We did starting at 3 with my daughter because she wasn't tired at night either. They had her color or look at books or do puzzles - just quiet time activities.
Good Luck
Average sleep for a three-year-old at night is 11-13 hours. Your sons 9-9.5 hours is normal for him (if he isn't showing sleep deprivation signs). Remember everyone needs different amounts of sleep. I know many three-year-olds that have given up their naps, so that is pretty normal. Also, if he is sleeping more on weekends when he doesn't get a nap, he is probably sleeping within the average range.
Now, you want some alone time. I would have him spend time in his room before bedtime. I wouldn't let him watch tv past 8:00. Give him some puzzles to do, books on tape or building toys like legos. Good luck.
(from a website on sleep)
Sleep and Preschoolers (3-5 years)
Preschoolers typically sleep 11-13 hours each night and most do not nap after five years of age. As with toddlers, difficulty falling asleep and waking up during the night are common. With further development of imagination, preschoolers commonly experience nighttime fears and nightmares. In addition, sleepwalking and sleep terrors peak during preschool years.
What time does he lay down for his nap at day care? I ran into this problem with my daughter who is 3. Instead of laying her down at 1 or 1:30 she now goes down at 12 or 12:30 also we eat dinner around 5:30 or 6:00 and then after dinner its bath, book time and by 8:00 8:30 she is in bed and a sleep by 8:45 or 9:00 pm.. I just had to re-adjust our schedule a little bit and move everything a little earlier and once you get that schedule going its great..
My son, who will be 3 Saturday, goes to bed at between 7 and 7:30 pm. He's up at 5:30 to go to daycare, naps for between 1.5 -2 hours at daycare(on weekends, that can extend to 3 hours.)
A really good book is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book mentioned by the a couple of other posters.
My son turned 3 in August. He gets less sleep than most of the other kids his age, but they are all SO different. Some still take these long naps and others don't at all. Some go to bed at 7 and others at 10. The theory of sleep begets sleep worked for my son when he was younger, but I've had no luck with it in the last year. But we DO put him to sleep whether he seems tired...somewhere between 8-8:30. Some nights he falls asleep quickly, other times he's awake in there for an hour. The rules are he has to stay there and not call for us. That gets tricky at times, but he does pretty well. He'll then sleep until 6:30-7:00. During the day he still needs a nap, but I limit it to 1 1/2 hours or he'll be unable to go to sleep until late.
Kids this age sometimes don't need the nap anymore, but they still recommend a quiet time for them. If he falls asleep, then he DOES need the nap. But don't let him nap forever. Sometimes a 20-30 minute catnap does wonders, while sleeping an hour or more can interupt sleep that night.
If he really does not need as much sleep as average, I would still reinforce a bedtime. At first he may buck it, but with time I think you'll find you get some of "your" time back.
Good luck! I feel like the sleep issues will never leave us!
My typical kids, ages 6, 5, and 2 (3 in Jan), all go to bed at 7:30 each night and wake up between 6:30 and 7 in the morning. My almost 3 year old is the only one that naps after lunch and it's for 1-3 hours depending on the day.
My special needs daughter is on her own schedule :o)
Jennifer
Here's what I do with my boys: "I don't care if you're not tired, you are going to bed at 8:30. You can lay in there awake if you want, but you are not going to keep getting up. It's bedtime." That way they're IN bed at 8:30 (awake or asleep, doesn't matter) and my husband and I have some time to ourselves.
My son didn't/still doesn't sleep much either. And the down time at night sure is nice when I can get it. What I found was getting extra physical activity- if you can get to the park or in the yard or the play thing at one of the malls for even 30 minutes(I know- who has spare time?) But it made a huge difference when I could work it in with my son- he was down and out by no later than 9 then. AND slept all night- which has rarely been a luxury