Hello moms. I feel so upset. This year the school principal introduced a tougher school policy on excessive absences. When your child misses 10 school days you have to meet with him. My daughter has missed 10 days. She has gotten the flu, strep throat twice and the stomach flu. I wish she didn't get sick that much but nothing I could do to prevent it otherwise. Just the flu alone was 4 days at home. I take pride on keeping my kids balanced in life. I never let them stay home for no reason. I also am a loyal follower of the school's policies. If any of my children have a fever of over 100.4 they are staying home and I follow their policy of "students must be without fever for 24 hours before returning to school without the use of fever reducing medication"Now the school is asking for documentation and what not when not all her missed days have required a doctor visit but simply some rest and at home care. I feel upset being that my character speaks for itself. I know I am not an exception to the rule and do not want favoritism. I just think he should understand and evaluate each situation before having a meeting to discuss the truancy laws. My doctor is providing a note and documentation of all her appointments since the beginning of the school year so that at least some will be excused. Just sharing my feelings. Thank you.
I think the reason for the meeting IS to evaluate the situation. It seems you want special treatment but the school can not do that, they have to treat all parents and students the same.
I don’t understand why you’re taking it personally. You show up with the documentation, hand it over, ask if there’s anything else that needs to happen, and go on your way. They will see that everything is in order, wish your daughter well, and thank you for your time. Try to see it for what it is – not a big deal.
I agree with Jen. I wouldn’t worry too much, I’m sure once you explain the situation and show your documentation he will be understanding. I’m also sure that he will stress the importance of having her come as much as she can for the remainder of the year but since you already said you are on board with that, I wouldn’t worry.
Oh yes, the reason IS to “evaluate each situation.” How could he evaluate without meeting you and seeing documentation?
Rules are rules, you know? 10 days (with a lot of school still left) IS a lot of missed days. They just want to make sure it’s for legit reasons. This seems exceedingly reasonable, to me. I’m not sure why you are taking this personally. The is not personal, it’s simply abiding by rules. You won’t be the only mom in there, so don’t think it’s an assault on your character. They will see your documentation, review the rules, and you will go home. No big deal.
Breathe - it’s procedure, and you have documentation. They just need to know that they’re not being jerked around. Some people are not like you and don’t care as much.
This happened to us when the school lost/my son forgot to turn in all three of his excuses this year. I wrote the excuses (AGAIN) and called and said I wasn’t going in for the meeting since all of his absences were legal and excused there was no reason to dictate policy to me. I never heard back. Our kids aren’t the problem, they really want to go after the chronic skippers. And anyway, if you followed district policy then there’s no reason for a meeting. In PA, all absences are excused with a note from home, unless it’s more than 3 consecutive days, those require a note from the doctor. Find out what your district’s policy’s say. If you sent a note to excuse her and none of her absences required a note per their policies, there’s no reason for a meeting.
Most schools have a similiar policy and, typically, a “sick note” from a parent will still result in an excused absence (just as a doctor’s note would). If the principal is honoring the policy, he’s doing his job. He’s going to meet with you and all you have to do is listen to what he says and respond accordingly. He may say “I know Suzy has only had absences due to true illness and they are excused but I have to document that we’ve discussed the absences”…in which all you have to say is “I understand and thank you”. If he says something like “Suzy is missing too much time and I want to know why?”…you respond with “I know she’s missed a lot of time, which I regret but they were necessary because…”
If I were you, I would have a notation made of what days she missed and why (so you have the info in front of you if/when he asks). You can then say t(as an example) hat while she was not sick enough to go to the doctor she did have a fever of 100.7 on 2/14 and since it didn’t break and stay gone w/out medication until late that night, she couldn’t come to school on 2/15…thus requiring, per school policy, for her to miss two days of school.
When mulitple days are missed, you could always call the doctor and ask if you can get a note (some will give it when the symptoms do warrant staying home but not a doctor’s visit).
Of course these things happen. They are often unavoidable. Just go to the appointment and talk to him. Part of the reason he has to do this is so that he can talk to each parent. There may be many parents at the school that are not as diligent and need to understand the situation for what it is.
I went to a Catholic grade school and was confirmed in 8th grade. There were many things we had to do to prepare for Confirmation, but one of them was for us and our parents to meet with the pastor. I was so scared! He was a very stern looking man who commanded respect. The time finally came to meet with him, and I was shocked to find out he was a really nice guy. He and my parents chatted away, and I’m sure he probably asked me a question or two, but I don’t remember.
Years later my dad still laughs at how nervous I was. He tells me that the real reason for the meeting wasn’t so the pastor could evaluate me, it was because not all of the parents are very involved and he didn’t even know many of them. For the ones whose parents are involved (mine were very active), it was mostly a formality.
The principal needs to be able to document things. He needs to answer to the superintendent and the state so that the school can receive funding. It’s not personal, and in your case it probably is a formality.
Don’t sweat it. Just do your part and go from there. It will be fine.
My friend had documentation and she got mad at the meeting. The woman principal called CPS on her. She had to deal with it for 6 months. Keep calm.
Not sure why you are so upset. You have done nothing wrong. He is just following the policy with you, just like the other good parents.
He will gather and document this and all will be fine
As long as you are telling the truth, this is a non issue..
This is not a red mark on your child’s record.. And does not make you look like a bad parent.. No judgements from anyone..
What is funny are the parents that do allow their children days off and they do not give a rats, A-- about what the school thinks.. Kinda Funny..
You should have no problems with the meeting.
You’ll have your documentation and it’ll be ok.
Some parents will keep their kids home for no reason or ‘mental health days’ or just plain skipping out - and those are the parents the principal is trying to reach/educate.
You’ll be fine!
Schools have policies. They are following them. Just show up and explain. I am sure it won’t be a problem. 10 days is a lot. They might be having a real problem with absences this year. I am sure they have a set number of absences allowed for the year. If she reaches that quota, she could possibly be held back.
I live in California and this is pretty normal.
My son got a weird blood infection and had to have hospital I.V. antibiotics for two days and then recovery time. His teacher even came to see him in the hospital, which was so sweet of her. Obviously, my son had been very ill and we had complete documentation. I still got the letter, but obviously, it wasn’t a matter of truancy.
I have friends who are teachers and you might be surprised how many parents just can’t see to it that their kids get to school. There was one family at my son’s school whose kids were NEVER there. They were even called in front of the school board. They bought alarm clocks, the teachers offered to pick the kids up in the morning and bring them home after school.
Still, the kids were never there even though they lived within walking distance.
I know one mother who wouldn’t let her kids go to school if they had a temp of 99 with zero other symptoms. She didn’t take them to the doctor, she just made the “mom” call that they were too sick to go to school. Her kids weren’t too sick to play video games all day or jump on the trampoline to get “fresh air” in the backyard, but they were too sick to get up and dressed and go to class.
She got letters left and right. Nothing to back the absences up other than her thermometer said 99.
To me, that’s ridiculous. And, that’s why schools pay attention to kids being absent. You may have valid reasons. No big deal in that case. Some things can’t be helped.
You can’t take it personally. I don’t believe in racing a kid to the doctor for every little thing, that’s going overboard. BUT, it’s always been in my parent’s handbooks how they handle what they consider to be excessive absences. My son had on paper what they considered to be “excessive” absenses, but he’d also been in the hospital. I got the letter, but they didn’t mess with me beyond that. It’s just something generated.
Truancy laws are in place for a reason and I’m all for them, frankly.
Talk to the school, provide whatever documentation you can and relax.
Since they know you so well, it’s likely anyone truly believes there is a real truancy problem.
I never worried about it.
Just my opinion.
A meeting simply sounds like you have an opportunity to explain the absences and that the principal rest assure the situation was followed up on. I’m sure the principal just wants to touch base, not give you the strap.
Simply meet with the principal and give him the documentation and you’ll be fine. It’s just policy, nothing personal. It’s not about you. It’s about a prior system that didn’t work.
Assuming this is a public school, they don’t get the federal $$$ when the fannies aren’t in the seats . . . hence the ever increasing pressure regarding absences. I think it is absurd unless a family is a particular problem during a school year.
That being said, it’s their school - their rules.
We homeschool and my kids’ educations are nobody’s responsibility but my own. It’s alot of pressure at times, but the upside is making the judgment call on items like this. It’s really a no-brainer. Your child has been very sick. The ironic thing is my kids can still do work when they’re sick because they’re at home and I can personally observe them (they moan and groan about this).
I would just take the documentation, explain the situation, and not be cowed or emotional whatsoever. They are not the only game in town. Stay business-like. YOU are the parent and this is YOUR child. You do have options.
Good luck.
yes, instead of working on making curriculum better they are bothering themselves with documenting every little cold, as if any of us would go to a doctor for a 100.1 fever instead of letting children rest, eat and get better. get whatever docs you can and what you can’t tell him sue me.
Um, you are not a little kid being called into the principal’s office. You are a mature, stable, responsible mom. You rock! You are not the problem. It’s those who couldn’t care less if their kid gets to school or not. They just need to weed you out before getting to the kids that really have a problem.
You will look back at this in ten years and laugh! This is nothing.
I also got a letter from the school and if my GD misses any more days, she is supposed to have a doctor’s note. Like you, I have called the doctor and they are putting together documentation of all visits and/or phone calls from me that resulted in prescriptions being called in to the pharmacy.
I think that the principal is trying to “evaluate each situation.” The only way for him to do that is for him to meet with you and get your input. If this were a “formal” truancy meeting, other people would be present.
I also do not let my GD stay home on a whim. Hubby and I have to go to work every day and if she is ill, she has to stay home with auntie who works nights so she’s sleeping all day. None of us like her being left to her own devices all day and it is boring for her, so it’s not something we do on a whim.
There is a 4 day absence for GD because I sent her to school and the school sent her home and told me not to send her back until her cough was better because her coughing was “disruptive in the classroom.” I intend to tell the truancy powers that be that I do not accept responsibility for those 4 days because I tried to send her to school and if they have a problem with that, they can meet with the school staff. That was THEIR call, not mine.
Good luck at your meeting. I’m sure it will be okay, but it is upsetting for those of us who really are responsible when things beyond our control cause us to have to defend ourselves.